How Lily and Mac would look in my mind > > > > > >
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I lay in my bed. Waiting. She said they would be here an hour ago...
I don't know what I am waiting for, I don't even know who, but the nurse told me to stay here and wait. She said a name afterwards but it had been mumbled so I couldn't understand.
I lay on my back flatly searching the ceiling, looking for something interesting to keep me occupied. I had only been out of this room once in a fortnight - the one time I got out was when those agents interviewed me. That certainly didn't count as a good event to get out of this room for. I wanted to go outside and see those roses; not through the glass but be there with them, be able to touch them - feel their tenderness, like those white fluffy clouds up in the sky. Outside the rain was softly falling in such a delicate matter that it could have landed on me and it would have felt softer than a squishy pillow.
A soft rustling behind my back interrupted my loneliness. I immediately turned over to see what it was.
Hopefully it's those people I've been waiting for...
No such luck: it was the tall blonde nurse. He looked as large as usual, except this time he looked like he had grown a fair bit more of muscle. His blonde hair shone like sand in the Summer sun.
"Hello..." I said slowly. What was he doing here? I had stopped having constant nurse supervision four days ago.
He looked over at me with his deep blue eyes that peirced my brown ones like a sword through soft grass.
"Hi." He replied with his deep, rich voice. I swear my ears almost melted with the sweet sound of his voice.
I just stared back at him for a few moments - which I admit must have been a bit creepy for him, but he looked somehow familiar - in some way that I couldn't exactly describe, he looked a bit like someone I had seen before. His strong brow deeped as his face contourted into a confused look.
"Oh, nothing." I whispered, replying to his look. His face relaxed into it's usual dreamy position.
"So you don't remember anything? At all?" He broke out with.
I was quite shocked that he could blurt it out do easily, most of the other people stumbled over it and tried not to bring it up.
"Uh, I remember some slight things but I can't remember many of the important things. Like I know what my mum's favourite flower is and I remember what some places are... But I don't know who I am or how old I am or where I came from." I somehow managed to say this without breaking down into a wet mess. I don't know how I didn't but I felt somewhat calmed when this nurse was around, his soft aroma filled my nostrils calming me from a bucking bull to a trickling creek. I filled my lungs with the sweet scent again, savouring it.
I felt so stupid doing it but it was so calming... so refreshing.
"So you don't know anything important... at all?"
"No..."
He turned his back for a while.
"Well... I'm Corey." He said confidently to me, facing my way again. I sat up and looked into his inviting blue eyes.
"I'm...." I started to say as if a habit, but then stopped. I didn't even know my name, hell, how could I even live like this - without a memory of my life.
"Tell me your life story." I expressed to Corey. "Please."
He looked startled at my sudden question but nevertheless he started to me.
"Well... umm, should I really tell you?" He asked me; as if I would know if it would interfere with my memory.
"Just tell me it anyways."
"Uh, I was born in New York, during August in the 1990's..." He looked at me as if that was enough to keep me satisfied.
"Please tell me more and with detail. Please." I nagged to him, it didn't seem like any of us were in hurry to get anywhere so may as well pass the time while he was here - for whatever reason.
"Ok then, I was born in New York, on the 18th August in 1994. Apparently I was a very loud infant and I loved to go around chewing on anything I could find - including the leather lounge chair. Umm... once I was about fourteen weeks old we moved here; Australia and we started a farm out in the North-West. Mum didn't like the idea of farming so she just stayed inside looking after me while working as a distant lawyer whereas Dad, well, he liked to go around doing all kinds of things on the farm when we first started off with it, but then he hired some workmen to do the jobs for him."
"Was it fun?" I interrupted.
"What was fun?"
"You know, working on the farm."
"Well I don't remember much from it except that Dad hated doing the dirty jobs once the dough started coming in. He was always complaining about 'oh, how these shit jobs can't just do themselves' and 'damn, I really need to get someone in to do these bloody jobs.' Except he went more in depth and feeling, if you know what I mean..."
"Oh. Right... So your dad wasn't exactly child-friendly?"
"I wouldn't say he wasn't child friendly, but he didn't exactly keep the coarse language to a minimum. He liked to let out his feelings for everything, I think he turned very Aussie when we moved here - his language use and all."
"Oh.."
"Once he got settled into the flow of the farm Dad got quite agressive towards Mum; he couldn't cope with all the stress of the shares. So he started going off at Mum and-" Corey cut himself off and a look of worry crossed his face. He walked swiftly out of the room just as the door started to swing open with someone entering.
The usual nurse entered, flustered.
"Who, was that?" She asked.
"Corey... isn't he a nurse with you?" I said, and I thought I was the one with the memory loss, not my nurse!
"Oh well, he must be one of the new trainee nurses."
"Oh ok."
"Well, the people we're waiting for shouldn't be much longer..."
"Thank God! I've been waiting for ages! Who are we waiting for anyway?"
"You'll see..."
As if on cue the door was thumped with a soft knock.
"Come in." The nurse called from her place beside my bed, standing as the door opened up.
There was a man and a woman, the woman had a kind face which made her look as if she had the patience to watch grass grow for days. She wore a black business skirt with a cream chiffon shirt loosely tucked in. It ate up her thin build making her look even thinner, but my favourite part was her bright red pumps and her red hairband which let her blonde curls hang down around her face like a photo in a frame. She carried a black tote bag which looked like she had books stored in it.
Oh no. They're gonna make me read. What a freakin' joy.
The man was the basic opposite to the woman he followed - he had a hard face and sharp jaw that paired with a large nose that overtook his thin lips. His black hair was smoothed into a long ponytail behind his head and a dark stubble covered the lower half of his face. His grey eyes looked just like storm clouds on white snow on a bright day. He wore a pair of long black suit pants and a light blue shirt which exaggerated his tanned skin even more. His stubby build however made him look like a Tellie-Tubbie dressed up for a casual dinner. On his flipper like feet he had long white shoes that curled slightly at the end. I hated those shoes... men just looked ridiculous wearing them, it made them look slightly girly.
They started approaching me, who were these people and more importantly what were they going to do to me? My whole body started to tense up - it was a sudden feeling from my toes to my hairline. I got the shakes and start sweating. My nurse immediately got to her feet again and walked very quickly over to the cupboard where they kept my pills under lock and key. I could see her open the drawer then my breath started going in and out in uneven goes. I couldn't get enough air in. Struggling with every breath my body soon felt limp and weak. Until the nurse had gotten the medication into my blood stream. My breaths soon returned, unlaboured and my body had settled down. Yet again I felt drained and weak, but I still managed to keep upright in my bed and I fought down the bile in my deep throat that was tempting me to let it out, but I just swallowed hard and harder again until it finally disappeared.
"It's ok." The nurse said to me as she gently stroked my forehead with a cold facewasher. I calmed down soon enough, but until then the two people who had just entered stayed well away and unintrouding to the space around my bed.
After waiting until I was totally reading they introduced themselves;
"Hello, I'm Lily and this is Mac." The kind faced woman said.
"Hi..." I said wearily.
"We're here to help you, help you feel better."The man said with a surprisingly very deep voice; for a Tellie-Tubbie lookalike that is.
"So feel free to tell us anything you're thinking or ask us any questions you think we might know the answer to. And if you just want to talk we'll be here. If you don't like anything tell us." The Lily woman said kindly, her voice was very quiet but definate and serious.
"I will." I replied softly. "I just have one thing." I motioned to Lily for her to come closer - like I was telling her a secret.
In her petite ear I whispered: "I'm not fully comfortable with your... partner, Mac... I would just prefer to talk to, just you. If that's ok that is."
She thought for a while and nodded subtly to me. She turned to Mac and told him and he and my nurse walked out.
"Thank you." I delivered to her.
"It's no problem, it's like that most of the time, except usually they prefer to talk to Mac, not me."
If I was anyone else I would easily pick Lily over Mac, no questions asked.
"So I suppose we better get started." She came out with softly as she grabbed a seat and pulled out a notebook from her bag, laying it on her skinny lap then following it out with a blue striped pen.
She smiled at me with both her eyes and perfect mouth.
"I've heard you've been remembering things, how do you remember them? Could you be able to describe it?"
"Well... I just look at something then I get this sudden feeling that it's familiar, and then I start thinking and it comes to me that someone that I know, well, used to know had something to do with it. Like my mother's favourite flower. Then I sort of get a kind of flashback in my mind and there once I come back from it, I have that memory back. But I can't remember anything important or something that will help me or you. It just sucks."
"Ok, that's good, thank you." She said supportively. "Have you remembered anything at all that could be connected to something important like your name or your life?"
"...No... not that I know of..." I wasn't game to tell her about the memory of the kill because I swear I recall him telling me not to tell anyone or he will come and kill me even faster. I wasn't going to take that risk. Ever.
"Ok. Listen, I have some homework for you, well, something for you to do: if you get a sudden flashback as you call them, write it down in here." She said handing a small notebook to me and a black pen. "Also write any thoughts you think and anything you feel or even what you did that day, just make sure you're writing in it. Ok?"
"Ok, I understand."
"I have to go off now so I'll see you later."
"Wait, when exactly will you be back?"
"Probably.... Tuesday, so you have two days to get into writing in your notebook." She added with a wink. She gathered her things and walked out lightly on her feet. The nurse came back in and started softly talking to me but my mind was elsewhere already. I was thinking about Corey, he seemed such a mystery.
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