Chapter 7 - What The...?

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I was questioning myself whether or not to write in the journal Lily had given me or not when Corey walked in with a sudden force. His blue eyes looking deeper than the great blue after a refreshing sprinkle of rain. Corey was holding something in his hand and at first I was quite shocked at how intruding his behaviour had been but soon forgave him once I saw what he had in his hand.

Chocolate. Wonderful, solid milk chocolate and a whole block of it too. The purple packaging that separated it from hungry hands pawing at it for devour.

I haven't had a solid piece of food since I woke up in here, the best I got was thick soup with soggy chunks of vegetables that were just about liquid themselves. I sat up in the bed awaiting the blessing oif it. In a mirror that came out of nowhere I look flawless - hair combed and styled, make up on my face and then he handed me the chocolate. I bit into it straight away and savoured the beautiful taste of it. The sugar running into my blood flow. All in a slow movement Corey moved closer to me, his golden head of hair inches from mine. He lent in further and drowned me in a long passionate kiss and to my surprise I kissed him back.

That was until I woke up of course. It was dream and a teasing one of that.

Who the hell goes around doing that to people - giving them dreams like that? it just makes your life seem worthless.

Taking in more detail now to the place around me I saw that the light was very dim and limited, so it must still be in the early hours of the morning. I hated morning, it was my enemy. I was a creature of the night, like an owl. Sitting up slowly in my bed, so I didn't get a dizzy spin, and finally reaching an upright position I stopped moving and started thinking. My main thought was that I damn hungry - for some solid food that is. I would even go with peanuts, even though I hate them. So basically, I would love to have any solid food, I felt like I was as skinny and famished as those kids and Tanzania, even though I probably wasn't as desperate as I thought.

Reminiscing back to the initial memory of writing in the notebook from Lily I put that into action and retrevied it from the bottom drawer in the beech wood side table and got my pen from next to the dull grey lamp. My pen was colder than ice, but smoother than glass. It was molded from pure steel and had a gold lip on it that set the perfect contrast on the pen. Opening the light book I started on the first light blue lined page. The paper was slightly moist from the cooler tempurature in the room, but wasn't fully soggy. Placing my pen on the paper, I let it fly free. Soon the whole A4 page was covered in a long line of unshaped things. I stared at it for a while, but soon got bored of trying to figure out what it was. Flipping the page over I started fresh.

'Where to start....' I kept on that thought for about twenty minutes before my pen contacted the paper.

As my pen started writing I read the entry aloud;

My day was boring, even though it is still early and I know that the rest of it is going to be.

I screwed my nose up at that. Was I really going to write like I was a depressed and brainwashed, dumb person? Hell no!

Scratching out that sentence I restarted lower down on the page.

Well, this morning I was interrupted from a gorgeous dream when I realised when something impossible was happening... in the dream I was going to get to eat a solid block of milk chocolate - a whole block! It was so nice, the chocolate tasted fresh, milky, full of cocoa, but not overboard with it. Soon after something even more unbelievable happened... a guy kissed me.... It was so nice.

I shouldn't write his name, just in case he sees this, then that would probably creep him out... And so I continued;

It was beautiful, loving, it filled my spirits up. It made me happy... and then I woke. I woke early, I think it was about 3 or 4 in the morning and now I am writing this, it must be at least an hour or more later from when I woke from my sleep. I am getting even more bored in this place. There is absolutely nothing to do, no one to regularly chat to. I wonder if there is anyone in the hospital who can't remember much like me... I wish there was then I could relate to it, I can't believe the people who have all their memories take them for granted by usually answering a question by saying: 'I don't know.' It is just so annoying. I hate it. I wish I could do that, but I really don't remember and I wish with all my heart that I could. I want to remember... do you think I ever will? I had better and soon, or I'll be put in the crazy ward here. 

It is also quite ironic that 90% of the things that I remember are not very important at all. I hate that. I wish that I could just be like everyone else; be able to recall almost everything in your childhood and past. If only. Hey, 'If Only' reminds me of a poem... that's right! My grandpa used to tell me a poem most nights in his husky and quiet voice, 'If Only' was my favourite one. It went something like this... I think:

If only, if only...

My love come true,

The moon come blue,

I see it through.

If only, oh, if only,

I could tell you to be true, 

I could make it blue.

Just for you. 

If only, you were my one true.

I always thought it was about a sort of Romeo and Juliet story... not sure why though. I guess I just thought that it was what a boy would call to his true love - saying he'd do anything and everything for her, wishing she was his one only. Suddenly, I have all these memories flowing back into my head, stronger and stronger. Grandpa was never married... that chubby woman was my mother... I used to sing 'If Only' all around our house on 7 Willow Street... 


 "HOLY FREAKIN HELL! MY NAME IS HOPE... HOPE LADY FINDLAY!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, with the remaining breath that hadn't been taken away. "Holy crap." I breathed. "Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap... I can't believe it." I had dropped my notebook already in shock and my body frozen as if I had been at Antarctica. "No. Way." I just kept muttering all these words, them having no meaning.

"Hope, Hope Lady Findlay, Hope Findlay, Hope Lady, Findlay, Hope Findlay..." I repeated my words, unable to believe what I had just remembered. I was shocked stiff and breathtaken yet again.

I think I must have been talking to myself and informing myself of my name for about half a day because now the light is more golden and bright, stronger.

It's at that moment when my nurse walks in - the regular one that is.

"How are you feeling sweetie?"

I just stared at her with a blank face.

"Honey? Are you ok?"

I slowly and almost silently said:"Hope. Hope Lady Findlay, it's my name."

I looked at the nurse - she looked quite shocked at first, but then burst into a huge smile covering her whole face.

She just looked at me and said a few words.

"Brilliant work, Hope. That, is good, infact, AMAZING news." She walked off in a skip after she had given me a squeeze. Probably going to tell the others; Lily, Mac, my mother... maybe even Corey...


Ok, what did you think of this chapter? Please V O T E, C O M M E N T, A D D TO L I B R A R Y AND F A N! ♥

Note; I made up the 'If Only' poem.... what do you think? :) (I feel proud ^.^)

I would also love to hear you readers' thoughts of where you think the story will go. I love it if you do that. :D

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