Chapter 21- His Lyrics, His World
"I'm the same kid I always was... There's just a little more pressure."~ Justin Bieber
As my eyes come to an open I see that Justin is nowhere to be seen. I sit up and look around but much to my disappointment he isn't here. I stand up and stretch my body. I grab my phone expecting a text form either Justin or Bruce but once again I am disappointed when I see that I have no messages. Shrugging it off, I head for a shower before some nice breakfast.
Staring at the toast in front of me my mind goes back to last night. What Justin did for me was really sweet but how long would we last before another argument about the same thing occurs? We are always having the same argument and I am tired of it. Then break up with Bruce. I want to scold my inner self for suggesting something so horrendous. Bruce is my boyfriend and he makes me so happy. And Justin? I want to scowl at myself for asking myself such a ridiculous question, but as I sit here and think about it... What does Justin make me feel? Sure, he makes me happy but not the same happiness that Bruce makes me feel. Sure, at one point I had a crush on Justin but I was young and stupid. Justin would never look at me that way. You know he already does. I decide on ignoring my inner queen. She seems to be really snappy today. Finishing off my toast I grab my bag and head out for another long day in school.
I enter English just as the warning bell rings. I take my seat just as miss walks in. She has a bunch of papers under one arm and a massive smile plastered on her face. I turn to look at everyone else and they have the same 'what the hell' expression on their face. She drops the paper on her desk with a loud thump making half the class jump. "Good morning ladies and gentlemen! As you have all guessed, I am in a very good mood and I shall tell you why. This school has provided quite a lot of funding for a Christmas performance and have allowed the Drama and English students to be the ones to recreate something for parents and students to come and watch. It will be a very big production. However, I know some of those among us do not wish to act so they will split themselves into teams of advertising, set creating and ticket selling. The English and Drama department want the school covered in posters for this show. It has to be... majestical."
I stare at her with my eyes wide open. For some reason right now I am seeing her as Mrs Darbus from High School Musical. Her eyes have this glint in them and her smile is so wide it looks like her face may split into half. She snaps out of her daze and quietens the class down again before she continues, "This will be no ordinary performance people. We will be doing a mash up of William Shakespeare's Macbeth, A Midsummers' Night’s Dream and of course, Romeo and Juliet. As the youth of today are into partying we will be making into a modern piece of drama. Romeo will be from a 'chavvy' area and Juliet from a higher-class area. They will meet in a high school Christmas party of which Macbeth is holding. Within this party you will have Lysander, Helena, Hermia and Demetrius who are all dating the wrong people. Our wonderful Oberon will try to help everyone sort their problems out but in the end he will lose his girlfriend, Titania, to his best friend, Nick Bottom. Macbeth will kill Nick Bottom and out of hurt Titania will kill Macbeth. Romeo will sleep with Juliet and realise that he doesn't really love her and he will leave. Lysander and Hermia will get together and so will Helena and Demetrius. It should be just marvellous."
The whole class falls into silence as we all take in what our teacher has just told us. That is messed.
"Miss that is kind of fucked." Some boy voices my thoughts but in a more brutal way.
"Language Thomas. It is... different compared to the original plays but it should be fun. Right! So if you wish to audition names here!"
"English was fucked still. What kind of a play will that be?" Alexa asks as I take my seat.
"I have no idea but it should be fun. I auditioned for Juliet." Alexa cheers me on.
"You go girl! I bet you will get it!"
I laugh at her enthusiasm. I turn and look at Bruce as he takes his seat. He pecks my lips and as usual my cheeks burn, "I agree with Lex over here. You will definitely get a role."
"I hope. I enjoy acting. Did you audition?"
"No. They have specifically asked me to be in charge of arts and creativity."
"I'm not surprised Bruce. I have seen your art work, just amazing!" I smile at him and he smiles back. He leans down and kisses my nose. My eyes linger on the bruises his face carry. I really want to ask about them again but I know he will tell me to not worry about it just like before. Instead, I just tear my gaze away from his and push the thought to the back of my mind.
o.O.o.o.O.o
"I'm home!" I scream as I walk into the house. When my own echo is all I can hear I know that I am home alone. I trudge upstairs and before entering my own room I peak into Justin's. His room is a bit messy with a few clothes here and there and his guitar lays on his bed. I look back to make sure that no-one is there before entering his room. I walk over to his unmade bed and I see a book lying there, open. Don't Amber. That is an invasion of privacy. I bite my lip as I contemplate the idea but soon enough my curiosity gets the better of me and I find myself picking up the purple leather book. I flip it over and the title reads 'Justin's Lyric Book' I recognise the writing to be Justin's. I turn it back around and read what is written. At the top of the page is written Be Alright. My eyes roam down the page and I see a lot of scribbling outs crossings and a different line written next to it.
"Through the sorrow and the fights don't you worry, everything is going to be alright..." I mutter quietly to myself. My heart jumps at the thought of the song being about me. I continue turning the pages and each page I turned more lyrics appeared. My eyes skimmed through them all and every time I felt like I was in Justin's mind. The sound of the front door opening startles me. I quickly find the page I found it on and place it back in its original position. I leave Justin's room not forgetting to leave his room door ajar.
I walk downstairs and to my surprise see Miley in the kitchen. When she spots me she smiles at me and greets me. I mutter a hello back and look away. For some reason I just don't like her. She's taking advantage of Justin. I mean he is only 17 and she's 19, it's not right. I mean I'm not saying that they are sleeping together... I mean they might be but I don't really... Okay... I should really stop with these morbid thoughts. That seems like a good idea. Miley's laugh brings me out of my disgusting thoughts.
"You look like you have stepped into something disgusting."
"I feel like it. Sometimes I wonder about myself. Some of the stuff I think about..."
"Were you thinking about Bruce naked?" I must blush because she bursts into a fit of laughter, "You are so cute Amber. No wonder Justin loves you so much." Her worlds startle me and I freeze for a second. She means as a friend idiot! Taking a huge breath of relief and smile at her embarrassed at myself for thinking Justin is in love with me. A small part of me wishes he was in love with me. I have no idea why but it just does. I'm weird. Don't ask.
I take a seat opposite Miley, "Are you here looking for Justin? He hasn't been home all day from what I know."
"Yeah, I know. To be honest I just wanted some company and I knew you would be here so I thought to myself 'Why not get to know Amber?' so I made my way over here and here we are."
"Right... I should let you know what I am not very interesting. I have no idea why I have so many friends." I chuckle at the thought.
"At least you know they love you for you and not for you money," I look up as I hear the sadness in her voice. Her face is a picture of sadness. I must be staring for long because she looks up at me and chuckles, "Don't worry about it. I just have these moments."
Something in me feels bad for her. She just wants to have some genuine friends, "I'm sure your friends love you for you. I mean, you are pretty amazing and you are a genuine person. I'm sure your fans love you for you as well. They adore you and wouldn't change you for anything so don't worry about anybody else because as long as they love you, and so does your family along with Justin no-one else should matter. I'm your friend as well," I have no idea what made me say the last part but it kind of just came out. I don't particularly like Miley but I don't hate her either.
She smiles at me genuinely, "Thank you. That honestly means a lot Amber. I'm glad you class me as your friend and also... Thank you for accepting me for Justin. Who knows if we will last for a lifetime but right now I know that I really like him and he likes me too. I just hope we can last." My smile almost feels forced right now but I don't let it drop. I don't say anything and thank God my phone buzzes.
Justin's name flashed across it. 'We still on for movie night tonight?' I reply a quick yes before looking up. Although she doesn't ask I have to say something to fill the awkward silence, "It was Justin asking if we are still on for movie night tonight," She nods her head but doesn't say anything else, "Want to join us?" I want to smack myself for asking her that question but I can't take it back.
She smiles brightly at me, "Really? Thank you!" She runs over and hugs me, "I'll go home and get into some jammies and I will be right back okay?!" Before I can even answer she is grabbing her stuff and leaving. I just watch silently as she leaves. Once she has gone I smack my forehead.
"Way to go Amber!"
I take the bowl of popcorn out of the microwave and take it into the cinema room. I sit on the arm of the couch as I wait for Justin and Miley. A couple of minutes later my phone buzzes. Miley's name appears on my name. I unlock my phone and read the text, 'Sorry. Can't make it. Last minute plans. Hopefully next time though and thanks for the invite. Miley x'
A smile appears on my face and I want to smack myself for being so mean. Since when was I so horrible to people? Not bothering to think about it I continue my wait for Justin. 20 minutes pass and my pacing is just making me feel anxious. I call his mobile and it goes straight to voicemail. I groan to myself and try a few more times. When the same thing happens I call Ryan and when I ask him where Justin is he tells me he doesn't know. I try Scooter and Alfredo but it goes straight to voicemail. He may be in the studio just wait a little longer. Agreeing with my subconscious I take a seat.
Two hours goes by and still no sign on Justin. I call his mobile and this time when it goes to voicemail I leave a message, "Hey. I think you forgot about movie night but it is okay. Next time could you just warn me so I don't waste my time please?" I hang up without saying goodbye and I shut my phone off.
I slump back into the couch. Isn't it a coincidence that both Miley and Justin bailed on me tonight? Not caring anymore, I close my eyes.
I was stood up and it wasn't even a date.
A/N: ELO! Who else feels bad for Amber? *Nobody raises their hand* Ouch. If you haven't already guessed the first twist is beginning and it should be interesting. I came up with a really good twist but that will come towards the end. I think everyone will be quite shocked. But until then... DROP ME SOME COMMENTS.
THE JOURNALS ARE COMPLETE! Ohmygod they are so beautiful and I'm going to miss waking up in the morning at 5AM on Monday (no sarcasm intended). I love Swap It Out! [SONG TO THE SIDEEE>>>>>] Ohmygod. It is just so beautiful. And I love Backpack. Tbh I love them all but yeah...Believe movie on Thursday! I CANNOT WAIT! The Wait For A Minute video! He looked just so fucking cute and that little dance he does now in all his videos. He is just so beautiful! OMG.
Thank you all for the support! You've got me to 34K already! Much appreciated. I love you all.
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Samsam_Maynard