So... you guys have every right to be mad at me. I haven't updated... in literally two weeks. That's the longest I've gone & I'm so sorry. But I have an excuse. It was my last week of school & I had finals. But now I'm off... until the 22nd of January actually :) so you have me until then.
I hope I don't disappoint. Don't forget to fan, vote & comment.
I was also thinking of starting a new story... what do you guys think? Would you read it?
READ ON..
“Come again, you’re seeing who?” Cassie pretty much almost chokes on her smoothie, her hands slamming onto the table. Why did I have to bring this up in such a public place? This was definitely a big mistake.
“Zayn, for the fourth time,” I groan. “I like him, okay? If you knew what happened, you would understand. Just give him a chance.”
“I’m sorry,” she sassed. “You’re asking me to give the guy who’s always giving you a hard time and who’s an inconsiderate jerk a chance? I love you, Nani, but no, sorry.”
“Go ahead. It still won’t change my mind about how I feel?”
Don’t test my stubbornness. You’ll never win. And she should know this by now.
This was the first legitimate time I’ve hung out with Cassie, just us two. To my understanding, she doesn’t find anything suspicious, not yet of course. She doesn’t know what I am, or so I know of, and she doesn’t know that I’m in the process of trying to figure what she is. I hate hiding things from my best friend, but for now, this is the best I could do.
“What even happened? So he pretty much followed you to San Francisco?”
“Well, when you put it that way, you make him sound creepy.”
“Exactly,” she smirked.
I sighed, shaking my head as I pushed my pineapple smoothie away from me, resting the weight of my head on my hand. “I don’t know what else to tell you. We just talked about our feelings. We both knew it’s probably going to be hard, but we’re going to try and figure things out.”
Cassie, too, sighed to herself. Unexepectedly, her eyes grew wide and once again, she was slamming her hands on the table, this time attracting the attention of others who were around us. “You guys were alone! Did you..?”
“NO!”
“Oh thank God,” she let out a breath of relief. “How’s the process of trying to ‘work things out’ coming along then?”
The butterfly feeling that I’ve been having came back. I’ve been on such a high since that weekend that nobody could kill, not even Cassie with her disapproval. I was in too deep with the cheesiness of it all. The one thing I swore I’d never be. “So far, it’s going good. I’m going to see him later on today.”
We both got up from the table, walking towards the door and out to my car. This was still a little weird talking to her about it. It wasn’t a secret about how she felt toward him. She wasn’t as bad as me, but she made it very clear at times that she didn’t care too much about him.
It felt even weirder that I wasn’t able to tell her the full truth. I’d mention it when the time was right, and I knew at a time like this –it wasn’t right. There was a bit of tension in our friendship, and I knew the cause of that was me, since I was keeping things from her. She probably didn’t feel it, but I most certainly did.
“I miss you, you know that?” she sighed. It almost felt as if she knew what I was thinking.
“I miss you too, Cass,” I half smiled in reply.
“Just don’t let him take you away from me, please.”
Her comment caught me off guard. I tensed up a bit, feeling defensive. Why did it have to be him to keep me from her? Why couldn’t it be school or work, something other than him?
“I’m always happy for you when you’re in a relationship or talking to somebody… why can’t you just be happy for me? This has never happened to me, and I want to see where things can go. Get over whatever grudge you had toward him. I did,” I snapped.
“Nani, I know. Look, I’m not mad, I promise,” she insisted. “You just said that this has never happened to you before, so I’m just looking out for you. That’s it. It has nothing to do with Zayn.”
Although I knew she was being a good friend, deep down this had to do with Zayn. Ever since that weird night at the bowling alley, they’ve always been so tense around each other. Me being the same way towards him, it was okay that she did that. Now that things were a bit different, it bothered me.
“You’re lying. That’s not it.”
“Are you trying to tell me you know what I’m feeling or thinking?” Cassie stopped in her tracks, crossing her arms over her chest and arching an eyebrow.
“No that’s-”
“That’s what it sure sounded like. You’re acting as if you can read my mind.”
“I don’t need to read your mind; you’re so obvious about it. You don’t see me lecturing you about seeing my brother behind my back and how wrong I think it is, now do you? No. Because I like seeing the both of you happy, no matter how weird I think it is.” Her face went blank, like I had just taken away her ability to speak. Complete silence. “That’s what I thought.”
I shrugged it off, shaking my head and continued the walk to my car, leaving her to follow behind a few feet back. Cassie was never the hypocrite, or the one to rain on somebody else’s parade, but to me, that’s what it felt like she was doing.
“I just get a bad vibe about him! The way you’re protective over me when we go out is the way I’m protective over your heart! I can’t stand to see you go through the same heartbreak you went through when Beth left.”
My mother, of course. That was always going to be the excuse for everything. Even I was tired of using her as an excuse. From now on, I wanted to be my own person. I wanted to learn from my own experiences, and not make the mistake of others. I wanted to feel happiness, just like the majority of others around me were too. My brother was finding his happiness with Cassie. My dad was finding his with himself, accepting the fact that my mom wasn’t going to come back.
And me, I wanted to at least find some temporary happiness with Zayn. Just for a little bit because I wasn’t going to act like a little love sick, clingy puppy & make myself think that a relationship like this would last. I knew damn well it wouldn’t.
I turned around to face her, both of stopping behind my car. I ran my hand frustratingly through my hair, trying my best to not snap at her. Although I wanted to. Badly. “Well guess what, Cassidy?! I don’t need you to watch out for me. I’m old enough and very much capable of learning from my own mistakes!”
“Says the girl who’s afraid to live life because of the pity you feel for yourself since she left! Everyone has had to do shit differently just to make sure they didn’t hurt you. It’s always walking on eggshells when it comes to you. Now suddenly, you want shit to change in the blink of an eye because you ‘found’ somebody?”
And I thought I was the one who needed to watch my tone. I stared at her, in complete bewilderment. I didn’t know that’s how she felt, or that anybody else felt like that. By the look on Cassie’s face, it looked like she meant what she said, and it wasn’t something said out of anger. It was true.
“Glad to know you feel that way. Also glad to know you decide to tell me after so fucking long!”
“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you,” she scoffed. “Because of the way you would act. If I don’t give you a reality check, nobody will. Everybody is scared to because they still feel bad for what you had to go through. But they only feel bad because you’re the one who still feels bad for yourself.”
Was there a possibility that she could be right? The only reason people pitied me was because I was swimming in my own pity? I had so many chances to be happy, but yet, I turned every opportunity down. Even I’m starting to believe that it was because I was scared of being in the pain that my dad was in, but because I just refused it. I liked living in my own world of misery.
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t need this right now. I’m happy now, aren’t I? If you were my best friend, that should matter and you would not throwing this all in my face.” I turned on my heel, walking to the driver’s side of my car.
A sudden pain in my head came along, and it felt like my head was about to explode. I dropped my cup and bag, taking my head in between both of my hands, shrieking in pain. The pain was indescribable, unbearable –something I’d never felt before. It wasn’t your typical, every day headache. My ears were ringing, almost like if I were going deaf as well. The blood was rushing to my head and unbeatable pace. It took every bit of strength I had in me to turn around to face Cassie.
Her eyes were narrowed, keeping her focus on me. She was the one inflicting the pain on me. This answered more of the questions that were on my list. “Cassie, stop!” The begging didn’t help, but the pain definitely deteriorated. “Please!” It was probably a much worse pain than when I hit my head on the rock when I found out about Zayn. “CASSIDY!” I screwed my eyes shut, hoping that this would at least make some of it go away.
The pain gradually departed along with my blood flow becoming normal. Little by little, I opened my eyes, looking for some sort of emotion in Cassie’s face. Her eyes were blood shot red if she were about to cry and looking for words to put together to explain what in the world just happened.
“Nani, I…”
“H-how did you d-do that?” I whispered, taking a few steps back.
“I-I don’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t… fuck. I didn’t mean for that to happen! I’m sorry, I was angry!” she pleaded.
“What did you do?” I asked once more, she took a few steps toward me again, making me repeat my earlier actions. “Don’t come any closer, please.”
I bent down quickly, picking up my bag, leaving my now useless cup on the floor. I dug through my purse in search for my keys. I had no words. I knew that she wasn’t human but, I never thought she would do something to hurt me physically.
“You’re not human… are you?”
“I… I don’t know, Nani. I really don’t.” Cassie let the tears fall, not afraid of letting it show. “Again, I’m sorry… I th-think I should walk home.”
Not another word was exchanged as I watched my best friend walk away, wiping tears as she walked away. Even from a distance, I could hear her trying to clear up her nose, sniffling away everything.
I didn’t see this getting any easier.
Uh oh.
So talk to me, guys. Talk to me about this or something else? What did you ask for for Christmas? :D
The only thing on my list was Zayn Malik. Let's see if that happens xD
love you xo