"I want to tell him, but I don't want to tell him. I want to tell him! But I don't want to tell him...I want to be honest, but I want to lie to him. I want to fake everything all over again going back to the way things use to be. Even if it was worse back then. At least I could handle things by myself. I'd still run away, but I'd know what to do differently. But I want to tell him so badly...I can't do anything until I figure out how to get this dang bracelet off. Maybe i—" England thought to himself before being jolted out of his thoughts by a snap in his face.
"Arthur? You okay in there?" America called, looking at him worriedly.
"Yeah, just distracted," England said quietly, avoiding America's eyes. He was still in distress over the dilemma before him.
"I guess I could tell him a bit. I'd be keeping my word to Canada while getting America off my back at the same time," England decided, nodding slightly to himself.
He broke the silence, starting to tell America how he felt and his feelings. About why he ran away. Not the other feelings.
"I got sick of how I was being treated. I would always be teased on how I acted or how I looked. I eventually got sick of it and decided to leave. I didn't expect people to come after me though. I suppose I've...withdrawn into myself in the process," England admitted softly.
America looked at him, sadness shining in his blue eyes. A thought struck him, realisation of how he made it worse popping into his brain.
"So me trying those things made it worse, huh? I didn't think it would make it that bad. But clearly I was wrong. I thought that if I said something that would get on your nerves, some spark or flame would come back to your eyes. You always did have a strong willed flame in your eye," America said wistfully, gazing off into the distance.
"So Canada was right," England thought, wonder coursing through his veins at what America's true intentions were. "Wait, did he just say something about my eyes? How would he know?"
"But anyways," America said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. "Thank you. Really, thank you. I didn't think you'd want to tell me, especially me of all people."
England looked at him, peridot clashing with sky blue.
"It's fine."
The two finished their dinner in a comfortable atmosphere, neither of them needing to make conversation. Going back to the house, England fell asleep in the car. America looked over, smiling at the resting figure beside him.
"Somehow I feel like that wasn't everything. He's still hiding from me. But it's a start. And I'll make sure it'll have a finish," America thought determinedly to himself as he picked up England. He carried him inside, actually gently kicking the door open with little to no sound.
Feeling tired himself, he lay England down on the couch before sitting down on it as well. Feeling drowsiness overcoming him; he closed his eyes, welcoming the darkness.
So this is late...sorry about that! I didn't have much of a time to edit this and even now I don't know if I got everything I could have missed! But have a good Halloween! I'm not updating this book on Monday so have fun!
See ya at the next update!
- Starlite