+-10 MORE CHAPTERS LEFT LOVELIES 😢😢😢😢
HOPEFULLY YOU WILL CONTINUE ENJOYING AS WE COME CLOSE TO THE END OF THE ROMANNA LOVE STORY 😘😘😘
"...I didn't want to be caught doing
what would sell or do
what I've done before.
I needed to do what I believed in."
*****************************************************************
"Do you have to go?" I whispered half pouting as I traced my fingers over his tattoo.
"Mmmm unfortunately I do, have to build some more stamina for tonight" I laughed as he smirked but I could see he would have wanted to stay.
"I'll be back here in a couple hours and then we can leave. Doubt Jenn wants me around here anyway while you're getting ready" he gave a small smile as he moved some strands out of my face.
I had woken up to him moving around in the room and as soon as he spotted I was awake he laid down again.
"Mmmm yeah, she'll probably get annoyed with your fine behind" I smiled and he chuckled.
"My fine behind? Is that why you snuck up on me in the shower last night?"
"Go to the gym!" I shoved against his chest before he got up and walked over to his suitcase.
"So you not gon be at the PPV?" I asked, remembering what happened on Raw.
They had called him out and told him because he lost against Kevin he didn't deserve to be on a PPV since Rusev wouldn't be there as well. Safe to say I had, had to deal with my mom wanting to throw something at the TV as my baby boy looked pissed. I hadn't brought it up to him when we FaceTime the next day because I didn't really want him upset.
"Nah, I'm pretty sure they are still punishing me. I guess I'll be on the next one. They're spinning it as Rusev being injured but we know that's crap. At this point baby girl I honestly don't care, I'm happy to be holding that belt..." He pointed over to the dresser before looking at me again.
"And I'll put on a good show every night but nothing can surprise me anymore. I guess I made my bed, now I have to lie in it" he shrugged as he put on his vest before leaning down and kissing my forehead.
"I love you baby. I'll see you in a couple hours, give me a call if you need me before then!" He called back as he left the bedroom.
I hated that he still hadn't decided to tell me that he had gotten suspended when we found out about our baby and that was most probably the reason he was off next Sunday's show.
I reached for my phone and debated for a bit as I scrolled through my contacts. I knew I would be seeing him tonight and I didn't feel like ruining my night by having a confrontation there so yeah, I guess I was being a coward. But if I did it tonight with Roman by my side I didn't know what he would do...
"Well this is a surprise" I rolled my eyes as I knew that voice. He figured I was crawling back, he knew how stubborn I was so I wouldn't have normally called him.
"You told my boyfriend's boss about your fucking fight, now that was a surprise" I snapped as I sat up.
"Its not like I went and exposed it to the media. They be needing to know what the guy they're paying for is doing and that is ruining their reputation by attacking me " he didn't seem affected at all that I knew and it annoyed me.
"You're the one that fucking provokes him. Just because people be knowing your business now you want to try and make my life unhappy too huh?"
"What?" He chuckled.
"Its always been like that. I always thought it was cause you cared, maybe you did but I doubt you do no more..."
"You were the one crying on my shoulder telling me you didn't want no part in the love game and now when I'm trying to talk sense to you like you asked me to I'm the bad guy?"
"Robyn you can't be tearing yourself down like this" he whispered as my tears kept falling.
"I don't give a fuck about that people out there. They judge me for going back to him when they don't understand what fucking happen and I'm supposed to make music to please them? So they can criticize me some more?"
"You ain't doing it for them, its for you. You know that. If they like it great, if not at least you got that shit out. In the end its all about you, people are either gon hate or love what you do we can't win it all..."
"I wish I could but I already lost in love.."
" His just one guy Robyn, there will be more.."
"I don't want more.."
I shook my head of the memory, "don't try and bring up the darkness in my life to make me believe that you actually care Jay cause you don't. You are mad because with my life going good there ain't no distraction from yours. You fucked up your marriage not me..."
"I didn't fuck up my marriage.." He chuckled a bit.
"You think these vacations and shit means you fixed things? You know you didn't . You hurt Bey and that's your own doing and I'm sick of you drifting your anger onto my life. You always say you fucking know me well I know you too, you can't be mad at Bey for shit or anything happening at home cause you still have to be a bitch so she can forgive you. So you provoke my man, try and tear us apart. Have her watch how Rihanna loses another love and make her grateful for having you right?" I whispered as I closed my eyes.
"I just want you to leave me alone. I don't care about your marriage, I don't care about you being a fucking cheater, I am happy with my man. Stop trying to ruin it and have the audacity to say its because you care because you stopped caring along time ago. I have lived with that, so you can't be trying to fool me every time cause it ain't gon work..."
"All these years and this fucking guy comes in and you don't know who was there for you all the times you needed to vent because of fucking Chris. When we both know you would have stuck by him if he hadn't tossed you out of the car that night..."
I felt the hurt growing as he threw that in my face. Roman wondered why it took me so long to open up to him. To be vulnerable around him and Jay just proved to me why. I knew once I showed weakness to someone I gave them the power to remember my downfall and use it to knock me down. But even though it hurt so bad I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. I knew he was mad at me for standing by my man..
"Is that all you got? Toss Chris in my face? I don't give a fuck about Chris no more. I closed that door, as of a few weeks ago I realized I don't even care about him. Because unlike you I don't want to be focusing on the things that ruined my life or try to tear anyone down.."
I spoke honestly, the moment I found out about the baby. The only ones I cared about was the baby inside of me and Roman. No man before him mattered to me..
"He calls you fucking baby girl. You hate that shit. I just know what you want I don't get how you're fucking settling for a wrestler"
I sighed as I breath in deeply and ran my hand through my hair.
"Sometimes people want different things Jay. That's what you proved when you cheated on Bey. And I guess she's the one that's settling for your cheating ass now right?" I whispered surprised that I wasn't screaming but I didn't want to waste my energy on him.
It was hard enough just keeping my voice from shaking because I knew after this phone call Jay would truly just be a boss, nothing more. Not my saviour who I had met at fifteen who saw something in me, not the brother that had practically helped raise me before my mom came over...
He would be nothing to me.
"He gon leave your ass Robyn. Remember what I told you, he doesn't love you. Didn't you see how quick he left you after hearing how you didn't care about him and didn't love him instead of asking you, he fucking believed a phone call? That's your idea of love Robyn? Fuck that..."
"What?" I frowned.
"Don't be acting now, that's why you called me because that fucking boy of yours told you that I called his ass..." I didn't understand what he meant and I soon saw my door opening to reveal Roman.
He immediately frowned as he took me in but I glanced down into my lap.
"I don't need you to believe anything in my life. I just need you to focus on yourself and just leave me alone. You're my boss but since I won't be working on an album for the next year and I am in charge of my tours I don't expect to be speaking to you any time soon and when I do start recording, I'll do so at my house with Timbaland and Ne-Yo who you can speak through. I'll keep making your paper and you just keep the hell away from me and my man"
"Are you fucking..." I immediately clicked off as I was just done.
I was about to glance up at Roman when I felt myself being pulled against his chest. Of course he would be here when I broke down again. I hadn't wanted him to know that I spoke to Jay and I knew I would have to explain because that's how Roman was, he'd make me speak about things so it wouldn't bother me again.
I wrapped my arms around him and his arms tightened around me.
"Just calm down baby girl" he whispered and somehow I just felt it all go, maybe it was because I finally said everything I had wanted to Jay.
Just let go and I guess it was good that Roman had walked in because otherwise I would have been on my own when all I needed would be him.
He moved me back and wiped my cheeks even though my tears were still flowing and he kissed both my cheeks before pulling my face into his chest again.
"So I have some bad news." He whispered and I listened as his hand moved gently up and down my back.
" Jenn just called me telling me their flight got cancelled so there ain't no dresses. She said I had to sort you out" I heard him and stared at him as I sniffed with a small smile.
"She's running late ain't she?"
"Yeah hoped the idea of me trying to get you a dress would amuse you" He smirked even though I could see the concern in his eyes.
"No I actually have faith in you" I rolled my eyes before I wiped my tears.
He smiled a bit before leaving me and lying down next to me, "Come on"
I smiled and rested my head on his chest as I cuddled up to him. "I know I promised you" I whispered as I felt his thumb trace over my arm as he held me closely.
"I told you I wouldn't be trying to control you. I just wanted to prevent this.."
"I know you got suspended because of him so I just needed to let him know and make it clear to him he needs to get out of my life"
I heard him sigh,"are you sure that's what you want Robyn?"
"I don't know but for now it is. He has just brought so much ruin into our life. I don't want to have to deal with anymore while I'm pregnant."
I didn't need anyone feeding the thoughts that I wouldn't be a good mother.
"Well if that means its the last time I will walk in on this then I do support you. Just know if you do want to push what he did aside and start afresh in the future I will be behind you as well. You have known him for almost 15 years and grown up with him by your side, its not easy to just let that go. Yes he went too far now but in a year or two or when the baby comes maybe he will realize that what we have is real. We have nothing to prove to him or anyone, but maybe our bundle of joy will bring some joy to his current cold heart and then he'll seek forgiveness and because you are you, you will grace him with it. I will love you all the same and I will tolerate him for you, even though he has done everything to try and tear me away from you. All I care about is you and your happiness, so I'm just saying whatever happens I support you fully.."
I gazed up at him.
"How do you always make me feel better?" I smiled and he smirked.
"Well that's my number one job, I love you. I always want to make you happy and mostly put your mind at ease about things Robyn and I'm happy that I do, do that" he whispered.
"You honestly do. " I whispered back before I leaned forward and kissed his lips slowly. I felt him tip me over as his hands moved up my body. I smiled as he pushed his body up against me but it was gone as I heard the door open.
"Seriously? Roman, I asked you to let her know I was running late not keep her busy!"
Roman buried his face in my neck as I watched her roll her eyes with a smile and move out of the room.
"I honestly thought Dean would be the only one walking in on us but anyway I'll head to the gym and finish up while you get done here..you're okay right?"
I nodded with a smile, "I love you " I whispered before kissing him one more time before he got up and I watched him leave.
"Girl! You need to get ready! Get your ass in that shower" I rolled my eyes as I heard her voice fill my apartment.
"See, now if my man were still be here you wouldn't be talking to me like that!"
"Bitch please, its been almost a year. Your man know me so he know that sometimes you be trying me!"
"I ain't trying you, you trying me! The only one who can tell me to get my ass in the shower is my man"
"Y'all a couple of sex addicts"
I laughed out but didn't bother responding as I closed the bathroom door.
Who wouldn't be with that Samoan around...
MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS
"You know this will be my first red carpet with you since my suspension" He whispered as he glanced out of the window.
"And my first since me being hospitalized, we just be causing controversy ?" I smiled as I kissed him before wiping off the traces of my lipstick.
"Well I guess we can't stop it hey?" He smiled.
"As long as we be together while we make headlines its fine with me baby boy"
"That's the only way" he winked as his hand that had been on my thigh gave it a squeeze.
"So you're performing with Kanye tonight?" He whispered and I slowly nodded.
"Jay is going to be here?"
I nodded knowing I would be avoiding him like the plague.
"If I were him I'd be home though but he be here. She's performing her entire album and you know what that album about" I rolled my eyes as Roman and I hadn't spoken about it because unlike Jay I didn't like to meddle. Besides while we fought of course but I hadn't seen the need to waste my time with my man discussing his infidelity. And after this morning I didn't have anything else to say about him.
"Everything your album ain't about" he smirked and kissed into my neck as I slipped on my gown.
"You know how annoyed Jenn got at me this morning after you left cause the make-up artist had to put so much shit on my neck"
"Why would she... Oh.. Well I can't help that I love leaving my mark on my woman!" He rolled his eyes as I felt the car stop.
"I know. I'm just warning you, if you try biting into it now you'll be poisoned" I teased and he rolled his eyes before the door was opened.
He looks extra hot in V necks 😍😍😍😍
He held my hand in his as we heard the people screaming, could have been cause of us or anyone else.
I didn't really care, I was only here for Roman so I wanted to get everything over and done with. He hadn't packed a suit and I wasn't going to make him get one. It wasn't like it was the Grammy's or anything and since I wasn't wearing some gown I didn't see the point. As long as we were matching I was good.
"You look beautiful baby girl" he whispered into my ear with a smile as I posed.
He then moved so we could both do some single shots.
😍😍😍😍😍😍
I glanced over at him as he held his serious face but he soon caught me.
"stop looking at me take your pictures!"
She is just so beautiful 😭😭😭😭😍
He called out and I laughed, "but you look so damn fine in dem tight jeans"
He smirked and shook his head and I did some poses before I saw him next to me again.
"You're just trying to torture me for the night aren't you baby girl?" He whispered in my ear as we posed.
"Can we get a kiss?"
I heard and glanced back at Roman and gave him a quick kiss before we moved over to answer some questions.
"We're happy to see you are doing well Rihanna!"
"He be taking good care of me even though he be travelling a lot. He be calling me everyday and letting me know how much he love me" I smiled as I rubbed his shoulder knowing he didn't like to talk much here, I was the same attending his events.
"So you two have a puppy?" I heard another one.
"Yes we do, Romie" I laughed happy they weren't questioning anything too intense.
"Or RJ" Roman winked.
"Yeah named him after his daddy" I smiled and kissed his cheek before we moved on and posed for some more pictures.
***
"Hey man glad to see you two are in good spirits" Kanye smiled as he shook Roman's hand.
I would be performing soon and figured I would bring Roman back for a bit before he went to join my mom out there again.
"Have you spoken to Jay yet?" Kanye asked but I didn't really say anything as I felt Roman's hand tighten around mine. He hadn't brought it up at all after he returned from the gym and I hoped his mind was at ease.
"He is sitting so close to us. I really don't have the energy to get into shit with him though. " I shrugged.
"Well that ain't none of my business but I'll see you out there" I nodded as I wasn't going to go telling anyone anything. If Jay wanted to he could. I was just over it.
"I think I should get back, I will see you in a bit " he kissed my forehead and I smiled as I watched him go before I went to get ready.
Now I'm Four Five Seconds from wildin'
And we got three more days 'til Friday
I'm tryna make it back home by Monday mornin'
I swear I wish somebody would tell me
Ooh, that's all I want
Four Five Seconds from wildin'
And we got three more days 'til Friday
Just tryna make it back home by Monday mornin'
I swear I wish somebody would tell me
'Cause that's all I want
"Thank you!" Kanye screamed out as we finished off performing Four Five Seconds.
He hugged me before moving off the stage giving me a small smile as I had let him know I had a little thing planned, he wasn't sure what though.
"So last year I premiered the music video for BBHMM here. I figured why not make this year special yet again by releasing a brand new song I have been working on for the last few months"
I saw Roman clapping with a slight frown as I knew he was being supportive when he had no idea what the hell was going on.
I closed my eyes as the lights dimmed a bit and the music began, I had performed so many songs but whenever I had Roman in the crowd the nerves got to me. I loved when he was in the crowd though, because he was the reason I had so much love in my music these days...
I had begun writing the song after his suspension as even though he had put on a brave face. I knew he was hurting and disappointed and the only thing I could do to take it all away was to be close to him.
Nothing but a tear, that's all for breakfast
Watching you pretend you're unaffected
You're pulling our connections, expecting me to let you go
But I won't
I slowly sang as our months together ran through my mind. All our struggles, it had taken me so long to write this song and maybe I should have saved it for after our baby was born or something more. But after our last separation and how it affected me I couldn't wait, I couldn't describe it but I needed it to be heard mostly by him. We had let go of each other so many times but somehow caught each other again..
No you don't need my protection
But I'm in love, can't blame me for checking
I love in your direction, hoping that the message goes
Somewhere close to you
Close to you
Like so close if they hurt you, you wouldn't find out
Just say now, I'm coming right now, to be close to you
I slowly opened my eyes as I stared straight ahead. I had only finished the chorus earlier this week with Roman's words playing in my head that morning when he went all storytelling on me.
Said you let it go, you kept it
Working hard to perfect it
Now your fear is reckless, and it's out of your control
Would you let it go?
I briefly glanced at Bey and Jay. Roman had made me promise to let it go and of course I had been stubborn in a whole other way. But even though I was cutting someone who had been a vital part of my life out, I felt a bit relieved because all I had to think about was the people I loved and who loved me and the baby who would hopefully love having me as a mom.
The joys in my life..
No you don't need my protection
But I'm in love, can't blame me for checking
I love in your direction, hoping that the message goes
Somewhere close to you
Close to you
My eyes finally settled on Roman and I fought back tears as I stared into his eyes while his remained on mine as well.
Like so close if they hurt you, you wouldn't find out
If you let me, I'd be there by now
Close to you
I didn't stop looking at him, I was so in love with him and no words could describe it. But I hoped this song would show him that yes we were both strong individuals but we did need someone even when we hadn't realized we needed each other and we just found each other.
"Thank you!"
I blew him a kiss and I loved his bright smile as the applause filled the audience.
I had been feeling so much anxiety with my first and I guess last appearance until the baby would be born but it honestly didn't matter because all I saw was him...