Zayn's POV
"Get out of my house."
"Bu-"
"No, there aren't any fucking buts because the longer you stand there and keep speaking, the stronger the urge to knock the shit out of you becomes."
"I think you should hear me out. Come on bro, it's the least you could do."
Why do people keep saying that? I don't owe anyone a God damned thing. No one. That's the problem with people; they always feel entitled or some shit and yes, I used to be like that. But over the last three or so years, I've done quite a bit of growing up and I've come to realize that I'm no different than anyone else who walks this earth.
"First of all, I'm not your bro- I don't like you. And second of all, I don't owe you a single fucking thing. Now leave."
He sighs, then, "Fine, I promise you I'm outta here once you hear what I have to say."
Earlier that day
Charlie's POV
"Why the hell are you crying?"
I wipe the mist- as I like to call it- from under my eyes. "Because...it's my baby's first day of preschool. He's practically a grownup now."
"Oh. My. God. Girl." Bryson's shaking his head as Zayn just chuckles and pulls me closer. My babe- at least he's understanding. "And this is only preschool. God help you when he goes to Kindergarten. You're gonna sit with him through the whole fucking first day."
"Oh, I already have it planned out. I'm taking off of work that day and walking him into the classroom, and I might even stay until lunchtime-which, yes I'm packing him a special lunch with the crust cut off of his cheese sandwich that's cut into fours, complete with a little note from mommy."
"Shaking my head- yes I just said it out loud, fight me." He laughs. "You know, when my niece started, I told her not to let those little bitches mess with her, and that was it. And it worked."
Of course he did. "Words of wisdom from Bryson," Zayn snorts. He hikes Li up further on his hip as Adrian and Marley skip just ahead of us. Yes, she's still glued to his hip. It's probably not healthy at all, but. It's a better alternative than dealing with her screaming her head off and being all sad when he's not around.
Bryson blows a kiss at Zayn. "Oh you know it, boo." He stares him up and down without any shame. "Just one time...that's all I ask."
Yeah so we couldn't put Adrian in preschool yet and while he can go to daycare, we refuse to enroll him. With Genevieve being nuts-even from the inside- and her mentioning his dad, Zayn said he'd kill everyone (no joke) if anyone kidnapped him or something. So it would be best for everyone involved if we hold off on daycare for now.
And we obviously know Li's not going anywhere without her dad, so there's that.
Anyway, it's here, people. It's Marley's first day of preschool- my baby's growing up so fast. That other stuff was the kiddy business- daycare and summer camp. But this is big time. He's already advanced and I don't think my heart can handle anymore of him being a little grown person. But I knew this day would come, I suppose. God, I'm such a mom.
"Alright, shall we? Before we make him late- right Mar?" Zayn says, walking just ahead of us so he can grab the smaller boy's hand and swing it in his own.
"Right daddy," Marley says. He's wearing a crisp white t-shirt, gray cargo pants, a brown leather jacket and his 'fresh, white, trainers' as Zayn calls them. Yeah, I let Zayn dress him while I snuck in a quick, early morning yoga session in the living room. And bless my babe, he even ironed Mar's clothes...after he cursed the iron out for not cooperating. I'll count this as a win because he almost only burned the clothes once. "You guys gonna comed wid me?" Mar asks, looking up at Zayn. "And my friend gonna comed too? And Li Li?"
"We're gonna walk you in, yeah," Zayn replies. "But we're not staying." How blunt.
"Why my friend is not gonna stay wid me? He go'd to da oder school wid me."
"Because he's not old enough to be in your class," Zee further explains. But knowing Marley, this won't be enough of an explanation.
"Oh. Him gonna go'd next time? Cause we gonna play and-and I thinked him's wants to write him's name like me cause I can do da M-A-R."
I smile at him. "When he's three he can go to preschool. But he's only two, baby."
"Oh. Dat's okay. But mummy, I gonna showed him da letters when I comed home?"
"Of course. When your teacher shows them to you, you can come home and show them to Adrian."
"Okay. I gonna do dat. And-and mummy?"
"Mhmm," I answer.
"Where you gonna go when I gonna be at school?"
"To work, but I'll see you when I get home." He's quiet so I know the little wheels are turning, hence why I continue. "You're gonna have the best day and then daddy and your friend and Li Li will be here to pick you up, okay? And then when I come home, you can tell me all about how it went."
He looks troubled for a second. "Oh. But you not gonna get da boo boo, right? When I in school?"
I frown; it's been roughly two weeks now since I lost the baby, and it's been tough on all of us, especially Mar. But we're slowly learning to cope. Now, it's more of the what-ifs-what if I can't have anymore children (not that we've been trying because I'm not really in the mood to have sex). I don't know where Zayn gets the strength from, but every time my thoughts get the best of me, he's there. "No, honey. I'm not gonna get the boo boo. I'm gonna be just fine."
"But dey gonna called me if you got da boo boo? Dey gonna called my teacher?" He states, matter-of-factly. "Cause I thinked my teacher gonna telled me and I gonna be dere."
"He is just like you." Bryson nods to Zayn before pulling open the door to the school. "Just like you. All protective and shit."
Only Mar would be apprehensive about the first day of school because he's scared for his mom. "You bet they will, but you don't have to worry because mommy's not gonna have a boo boo."
//
"Why am I trying to find a dress in September?" I take in the very, very high end white rectangular room, surrounded by well-lit walk in closets that house every possible style wedding dress. Honestly, even the fricking hangers look expensive.
"Please, do have a seat," one of the women dressed in black from head to toe instructs.
Bryson whistles, taking in the place along with everyone else. "Shit, my poverty might rub off on the couch if I sit on it."
"Charlie, listen to me," Talia says, chuckling as she rolls her eyes. "Some women have their dresses picked out for a year or better. You're actually kind of late."
Ouch.
"But not to worry," she rushes, noticing the wounded look on my face, I'm sure. "I've booked Atelier and I'm sure we're going to find something here. They always have something. It's no Kleinfeld, but it's absolutely fabulous and one of my all time favorites." Her enthusiasm and excitement are contagious, I must say. And I'm sorta kinda glad we stuck with her. Go figure.
But because I'm me, I haven't really given much thought to style. And Talia's throwing out names of different cuts- Mermaid, A-line, ballerina; then there's lace, tulle, sequin, strapless, long-sleeve. And then she's asking me which kind of train I want...like, I dunno. I just want to...well, I want to elope now, is what I want.
I'm feeling a smidge overwhelmed as I look between the different sections of dresses. I've dreamt about this day-who hasn't, but like...yeah.
"I think a ballerina would look beautiful on you."
"Well I think she should go A-line. You have a cute little tush...it just...pops."
"I'm saying get the Mermaid. You definitely have the figure for it. Might as well flaunt it, boo, cause if you keep popping those...ah, nevermind."
"I think you should wear pink."
"Really, Nina? Pink?" Danielle says to her. Nina just shrugs and continues bopping her head to the elevator music that's playing.
"Hey, just be happy that Harry Pothead over here didn't say green." Both Danielle and Nina glare at Bryson for that one.
"I don't know why we didn't just go to Kleinfeld," El says through pursed lips as she looks around. "That's where I would have taken her."
I close my eyes. Now I understand why brides-to-be end up losing their shit on their entire wedding parties. I get it now. Everyone has an opinion and no one takes into consideration what the bride wants. You know, not that I know what I want. But still.
"I think you're all driving her fricking nuts and she wants to axe you in your sleep." I feel two thin arms around me. "Right, Charlie?"
I open an eye and grin at Danielle. I don't know how I ended up here with Eleanor, Nina, Danielle, Bryson and Talia; one tiny mention of looking for a dress and everyone's blowing up your phone, asking what's going on. To be honest, I should have just brought Talia because between her and Eleanor taking jabs at each other (Eleanor swears she's the planner sometimes), and Bryson and Nina going back and forth, I'm about to lose it.
"Eleanor with all due respect, Charlie hired me to plan the wedding. And I chose Atelier."
Scratch that. I should have fucking just brought Zayn. Screw the whole keeping the dress a secret until the wedding crap. We probably would have had something by now. Or knowing us, we would have waited until the wedding, but details.
"I'm gonna-" I start, but am cut off by Eleanor. Should I mention that we've only been here for about ten minutes at this point? And I already feel like I need a shot of something hard if I'm gonna make it through the rest of this evening.
"How could I forget? You remind me every chance you get," El snips.
I go to finish my thought, but instead decide to slip away as Bryson adds in his two sense. I find what must be a changing room, sit down on the plush stool and pull out my phone. "I'm gonna kill them all," I murmur as soon as he picks up.
His throaty chuckle sounds out. "That bad?"
"Oh, it's worse. Everyone's failing to realize that I'm the fricking one getting fricking married!" I whisper shout. "God."
"Well if it makes you feel any better, me, Harry and the kids are checking out tuxedos right now for us and the boys. You can probably imagine how that's going."
"That bad?" I giggle.
"Let's just say he found me a red tux. Like, the fuck? I'm not gonna look like a bottle of fucking ketchup on my wedding day. I mean, I've dreamed about this, baby."
I roll my eyes at his playfulness. "Well...you do look good in red, but you know that."
He snorts. "Yeah, that'll look real great with our color scheme." It's silent for a moment. "On a more serious note, though, how are you feeling today?"
I close my eyes. "Better than yesterday. Still not a hundred percent, but...better. Some days I wanna break stuff because of what could have been, other days I feel at peace, and then the rest of the days, I'm just...scared, I guess. I don't know, I just...I don't want to let you down..."
"Let me down?"
"Yeah, I...I know you want more and-"
"And you know that whatever happens baby, I..." If I could see him, I know he'd be pinching his nose right about now because he sounds exasperated. "Look. I want you to focus on getting better. And you know I'm here to help however I can. But I can't have you beating yourself up over what you think it is that I want. I love you. I'd love you if we had no kids, I'll love you if we have sixteen. And I sure as hell love the ones that we do have now. But like, don't worry about me; focus on you, jaan."
"I know, but it's not easy, okay? I just keep thinking about the little boy or girl we could have had and all of that mixed with finding a fricking dress and the wedding and I just...God...why me."
"We can always push the wedding back until you're ready."
I sniffle. "No, I don't want that. I want to...I want to be happy. And marrying you will make me happy."
"Dude, me too," he says airily and I muster a laugh. "Cause you da bomb- hold on, babe. No. No. No yellow, Haz. No. You wear it then, shit. Liyana, come here. Marley, grab your sister's hand, please. Alright, let me get off of this phone, Liyana's about to destroy shit and the owner looks like he wants to beat the shit out of me. I'll see you at home."
"Mhmm...I'll see you later," I'm able to squeeze in before I hear the tone signaling the end of the call.
I gather myself and head back out to the circus. It would seem that no one even noticed I was gone. Or maybe they did because as soon as I'm near, Talia's shoving dresses at me and shooing me back into the dressing room.
Cool.
//
"Oh my- Charlie."
"Oh girl, it's perfect!"
The pads of my fingers move across the tulle overlay. "I better have a spot in this wedding cause I ain't missin' it for shit." I start to tear up as I take in the detail of the dress because growing up, I couldn't have imagined this experience to be like this. Sure, a girl dreamed, but when it actually happens...nothing compares.
I quickly sniffle, but it's no use. I'm caught. "I mean, I might-" my voice cracks. "I might be a little short for this one, but..."
"Oh honey, don't cry. It ruins your makeup."
I snort at Bryson. "You'll definitely have a spot in the wedding. But I might have to make you a bridesmaid."
"That's fine- I wear the shit out of a pair of heals. And if we do it that way, I get to walk down with one of hottie's friends...oh girl, sign me up."
"And as far as alterations go, that's why we have seamstresses." Eleanor is at my side instantly. "Babe, this is...fuck, it's the one." I giggle as everyone forgets about everything else, choosing instead to crowd around me and take in the detail of the embroidery. "Yep, definitely the one." I catch Talia's eye and she winks, before turning to the seamstress and giving her the details. It's decided, I guess. But if I'm being completely honest, it was decided the minute I put it on.
"Now, since this is gonna be the affair to end all affairs, I think you need a dress change after the nuptials; one for the reception. And I know just the dress." I nod at whatever the hell they're talking about, smiling to myself as I twirl around on the podium, feeling a lot like that Cinderella May once spoke of.
//
"We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship. Zooming through the sky, Little Einsteins! Climb aboard, get ready to explore. There's so much to find, Little Einsteins!" I stand by the door and watch Zayn and the three kids standing in front of the big screen television, dancing around. I place my hand over my mouth and try to stifle the giggle threatening to come out. "We're going on a mission, start the countdown troops!" He belts, and the kids start squealing and grabbing onto his legs. The only thing that makes this more adorable is the fact that they're all wearing onesies, even fricking Zee. He's got a light green one.
"Five, four, three, two, one!" The kids try their best to chant. Zayn then takes the lead, holding his fist in the air before turning. The kids line up behind him and he begins the charge. "Everyone to the rocket, rev it up now....rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" He makes the noise and charges, and holy shit I should have recorded it and put it on Instagram. I'm sure his fan base would love it.
"Bravo," I laugh, beginning the slow clap. "Encore, please?" He looks up all doe-eyed, before grinning and rolling his eyes at me. But I absolutely do not miss the blush that takes over his cheeks.
"Shut up," he mutters as the kids run for me. "I was just...yeah," he says, reaching his hand over and scratching the back of his head. Adorable.
I give him a broad smile as I hug each one of my babies. "I'm diggin' the new uh, hah...the new attire."
His eyes practically narrow to slits. "Listen, we stopped to a department store with Harry on the way back and the kids wanted them, and they had adult ones so I figured fuck it, why not. And don't worry; I got you one too. In purple."
I cross my arms in front of my chest. "Oh, how thoughtful." He walks over to me and envelopes me in a hug. "I know," he says. "I'm a thoughtful kind of guy. Now, you hungry? We have extra pizza that we might be able to share with you. Maybe."
"Once again, how thoughtful." I bury my face in his chest and sniff. Damn, he always smells so good. His chest rumbles with a laugh, knowing that I sniffed him with zero regrets. "Found a dress today."
"Didn't find a tux today. And Talia's pissed about it," he counters. "It's cool. I'll live. I'll just go naked."
"I mean, I wouldn't mind."
"I know, perv. We'll just mention on the invite that it's a nudist wedding."
I notice the kids getting bored of us-well me, so they start chasing each other around the living room. Zayn and I look at each other and shrug before taking our places on the couch. "Come lay with me," I tell him, practically laying on top of him before he even has the chance the sit. I pick up my iPad from the table and turn it on, hoping to find the dress so I can show it to him, even though Talia made me swear I wouldn't show him pictures. Something about the element of surprise.
"I'm not watching porn with you."
I snap my eyes up to his. "Oh yes. How'd you know that that was what I was gonna show you?"
"I mean, I know you love BBW, but like..."
"Don't confuse me with you, buddy." All he does is shrug, and my jaw most definitely drops open in shock. "I was totally kidding, but...clearly we know you have a preference."
"Maybe," he chuckles. "Just like it's been established that you like whips, chains, handcuffs, and spanking. Not to mention you have a daddy kink like no other."
I just glare at him, but end up cracking up because, "I'm sorry, but I can't listen to you talk about porn as you're wearing a giant onesie. Something about it is so very wrong."
Liyana picks that as the perfect time to come crawling into Zayn's lap-right over me, looking up at him and grinning. I don't think he realizes just how much trouble he's in with that one.
"So Bryson's in the wedding."
He shrugs. "I assumed he'd be, but remember it has to be even." He looks up at me and his cheeks tint a little as I nudge him. "What? I did my research, okay?"
"Exactly, and since you'll have four-"
"Where? Because I've got Jawaad, Harry, Niall and Liam."
"And Louis?"
He covers Li's ears. "Fuck him."
"Zayn...he's still one of your best friends."
He covers Li's ears again. "Yeah well, he should have thought about that before he fucked me over and started keeping shit from me."
"Have you talked to him?"
"No. And I'm not about to try."
I frown, knowing I can't risk pushing him on this and driving him away. Plus, Lou isn't exactly my biggest cheerleader, so I mean... "Anyway, I've got Nina, Danielle, Laura, Eleanor and Waliyha, so you need another guy. And I was thinking Safaa, Raihana and Li Li can all be the flower girls. And obviously Mar and Adrian will be the ring bearers."
"So then, it's settled. We'll have Bryson as a-" and of course the doorbell rings because, hey! We're Zayn and Charlie and people like to just show up to our house.
Zayn's POV
After putting Li back down on the couch- she's pissed- I make my way to the door. I'm beyond thrown off when I answer. "Can I help you?"
"Hey, man. Listen we need to talk."
"We don't though."
"But we do."
"Get out of my house."
"I'm not in your house."
"Don't be a smartass." I got to close the door in his face, but he holds it open with his foot.
"Just-"
"No."
"Bu-"
"No, there aren't any fucking buts because the longer you stand there and keep speaking, the stronger the urge to knock the shit out of you becomes."
"I think you should hear me out. Come on bro, it's the least you could do."
Why do people keep saying that? I don't owe anyone a God damned thing. No one.
"First of all, I'm not your bro- I don't like you. And second of all, I don't owe you a single fucking thing. Now leave."
He sighs, then, "Fine, I promise you I'm outta here once you hear what I have to say. It's about Genevieve and Adrian."
This certainly gains my interest. I look at him- really look at him before motioning for him to continue. "I'm uh, well, I'm Adrian's birth father."
If I had to bet money, I'd bet my face was equal parts dumbfounded and horrified. "Bullshit."
He blinks. "I am. I became...involved with Genevieve a couple of years back and things happened and now...yeah. There's a kid. One that I don't really like, know all that well to be honest."
For some reason, this news irritates me and now it's my turn to blink because fucking Alex is standing in my doorway, telling me he's Adrian's father. What the fuck is happening?
"I know it...like, I know this is probably shocking, but like-"
"Zee, who is it?" Charlie's brows furrow and she looks between Alex and I. "Alex? What are you doing here?"
"Hey Charlie," he gives her a warm grin that she doesn't really return. Yes, babe.
"This fucker here says he's Adrian's father, is what."
Charlie stares at him much like I did. "Oh my God...what? How does that even...?"
"Because he's lying." I've decided.
His eyes meet mine. "I'm not, actually. I'm on his birth certificate and everything. I just...I know he's staying with you guys and I thought you should know."
My stance becomes just that more defensive. "You better not be implying that you think you're gonna save the fucking day and take him from us because we're his legal guardians now. So whatever you and his fuckhead mum are planning, you can kiss my-"
"No, no. I don't want him," he rushes. Charlie winces and I place a hand to the small of her back, rubbing soothing circles. "I don't...nah. I didn't want kids and I begged her to abort it, but she wouldn't. And it's her body, so, whatever. I just did my own thing while she handled it. Gave her some money from time to time. I just...like I said, I thought you should know. And-"
And before I can even react, Charlie's fist connects with his chin. He stumbles, damn near falling down the steps. "You asshole," she grits. "That baby is a gift and for you to sit up here and talk about him like he's this thing that you should've just gotten rid of pisses me off. I'm glad you didn't come here wanting to be in his life all of a sudden, because there's no way in hell I'd let him go anywhere with you, not even down the fucking street." She's in his face now, slapping him over the head repeatedly. I think she's crying too and I know, given everything that's going on with us, this really strikes a chord with her. "You selfish, inconsiderate son of a bitch! Not only does he have one irresponsible cunt as a parent, but he has you too! You ought to be ashamed of yourself."
"Charlie, Charlie..." He tries to protect his head from her, but she's riled up and I wouldn't even dream of doing shit to stop her. It might be a shitty outlet for her, but it's an outlet for all the anger and sadness that's seeded within her, nonetheless. "Please, I..."
"Fuck off!" She screams, and I look behind us to make sure the kids are still doing their own thing. "You fucking, fucking scum-sucking-"
"I'm sorry!" He bellows. "I-I knew that you and Genevieve were sisters a couple of years back when I approached you at the theater. And she asked me too, I swear it. And I only did it because she threatened to take me for child support! I didn't know she was crazy, crazy at the time. But I knew she was obsessed with you!"
What?
"I don't give a fuck about that!" She will later, folks, but right now...nah. This time I do go to stop her because her fist connects with his nose and I don't need her doing time right alongside her sister. I grab a hold of her-she's fighting me for sure, before literally dragging her back into the house. She's still blindly swinging when I sit her on the floor. She's a bawling mess and scaring the crap out of the kids, especially when she starts throwing shit at the walls.
But I know she has to do this. She's been repressing it. So I don't stop her.
I put on my best brave face for the kids, and bring them upstairs, tucking them all into our bed. They're not going to go to bed- I know it, but I don't want them seeing too much of her like that. I do know that I'm gonna have a lot of explaining to do in the morning.
The kids actually listen to me and remain upstairs. I'm surprised to find Alex trying to comfort Charlie when I return. But that flies out the window when she tries to throw a vase at his head. I stop her this time.
"Get out," I spit at Alex. "And I fucking mean it this time."
"Okay, okay. I'm leaving. But just...I'm gonna tell you. Don't trust Lou."
What?
A/N: I'M SO SO SORRY YA'LL!!! But I started a new job and it's been crazy and the hours are weird and like...yeah. I hope you like this one! Thoughts?
AND how's everyone doing?!
Also, I think I'm gonna be ending this book in 10 or so chapters. There isn't too much left and I don't wanna keep dragging it on and on and boring you guys, sooo....
: )
I hope you have an amazing day, and please vote and comment!