Okay, today's my birthday, and since I got presents, I thought I would give you a present too :)
It's short, I know, and I haven't been able to edit it properly, so I might need to change some things later on.... School keeps getting in my way, tests every week and so on :(
Hope you like it!
Coment, please, tell me what you think!
<3 Anna (one year older, blah)
Chapter 13
At dinner they ask us about the training. I don't mention Axara or the Careers, nor does Rino. He's probably angry with me. Even though he seemed kind of amused about my mocking of his leader, especially the 'kill your last braincells'-comment. Both he and Marco cracked up big time on that one. I guess they will get some hell for that later on.
No, during dinner I only tell them briefly what I did today – fire making, climbing, some weapons, knots, edible plants, some muscle training – I don't even point out if it went well. They don't pressure me, knowing I won't speak in front of Rino.
After dinner, I walk with Evan out of the room. Rino has already disappeared into his room, and Violet is God knows where. Probably partying somewhere.
Evan comes into my room, and the first thing I say is,
"I've got an ally."
"Hmm?" He lifts an eye-brown. "So early?"
"Yeah. It just clicked immediately. I like her."
"So do I get to know her name?"
"Axara. From District 8."
"I guessed you would ally with her. No surprise. Any other possibilities?"
"Andie from 11 maybe. And the Careers asked me during lunch, but I had Axara already. And, I don't really trust the other Careers. I don't belong with them."
"Good choice. Did they get angry?"
"Yeah... we had a kind of fight. It was pretty hilarious." I tell him the whole story, and also more details from the training. We laugh, and have fun. It seems weird, with the fate that is awaiting me, but I want to enjoy my possibly last days. And Evan's a good friend.
When he's about to leave, I pull him into a hug. I've removed the letter from my pocket, and quickly slip in into his back-pocket.
"It's from Rose to Orchid," I whisper.
"Okay," he says. Then he steps back, and looks at me. His gaze is soft, and I shiver slightly. He bends down slowly towards me, and I freeze.
Then there's a knock on the door. Evan steps back again, and I walk to open the door, a little shaken by the sudden outcome of our friendly conversation.
It's Rino.
"Hello, Cassidy. Have you seen Evan?"
"I'm in here," I hear Evan say from behind me, and he is soon beside me. "Do you want to discuss the training?"
Rino looks a little awkwardly between the two of us. "Um, yeah. If you two are ready, I mean."
"Yeah, we were just finishing," Evan says, and I feel a blush creep onto my cheeks. Why am I blushing?
"Okay then." Evan walks out of the door, and stops to say,
"Bye then, Cass. We'll continue our little conversation later. And, yes, I'll speak to Caro about your problem."
"See you later, Evan," I manage to say.
"Bye, Cassidy. Nice to finally know your real name, by the way. That stunt during lunch was pretty awesome. You've got spirit, little girl," Rino tells me, more amused than pissed off.
"Thanks." Then they leave, and I close the door. What the hell just happened? If Rino hadn't knocked on the door, I'm pretty sure Evan would had kissed me. Does he like me too?
Would he had really kissed me 'cause he wanted, or was it some kind of payback? Is this a game to him?
Judging from the look in his eyes – no, it's not. He likes me.
I am really confused right now.
*************
The second day of training goes well. Once again, I have a hard time staying away from the knives. Axara and I spend most of the day at the ''surviving station'', which teaches you things about edible plants, how to make a shelter, and where to find water. I start to trust Axara even more. It's dangerous to trust her too much – I can't ever relax while in the arena – but I know that if she's going to have my back, I can't be too cold. A small amount of trust is needed.
I also learn that she's even more of a fighter than I first thought. She has two sisters, a younger, and a older, and together they work to stay alive. Apparently Axara's District has very long working days, and she usually doesn't sleep for more than six hours every night.
It's such a small detail, and still it makes me happy. Another thing we have in common.
I have not seen Evan in private since last night, and our almost kiss. It feels like he's been avoiding me. He did show up to breakfast – but not the same time as he did yesterday. He left the breakfast quickly, barely saying 'Good luck for today's training', before he went.
Now it's dinner. I'm curious. Will he ignore me still?
Apparently not.
"So, Cass, want to talk about today's training?" he asks, smiling.
"Um... yes?" I make it sound like a question, and for some unexplainable reason I blush. We are alone – Rino keeps disappearing into his room after dinner. I do not want to think of what he might be doing. Violet is watching TV again, some kind of re-run of the reapings with some comments by people who are important. I don't understand what's so special about them, but apparently something is.
We walk in silence to my room.
He sits down on the sofa in my room, gesturing me to sit down with him.
"Cassidy. Look at me."
I've been avoiding his gaze. I have never felt this shy before. Evan makes me feel new things, and I'm afraid of it. Of course, since Riccy and I told others we weren't a couple some boys have been hitting on me. Pathetic attempts to kiss me, ask me to be their girlfriend. I have always answered negatively, sometimes even slapped someone who tried to get a little too close for my liking. I need to keep my family alive – I don't have time for romance. The only love I can allow myself to feel is the one for my family and closest girl friends, Willow and Pearly. I can't let myself love someone I couldn't protect. I love only those I know I'd do anything to save, those who I put before everything and everyone, even my own life.
I know I'm pretty. In my District we marry quite early. Like Denlay and Brendt – she was sixteen and he seventeen when they married. We get our first serious girl- and boyfriends at age thirteen. We are not allowed a long childhood. Hardly any childhood at all.
We build families as teenagers. Sixteen year old mothers are not that unusual. My fifteenth birthday is coming up. It'll be the same day as I go into the arena.
So now, when I turn to look Evan in the eye, I don't know what to expect. I have never loved a boy like I love him, and I'm out of my comfort zone. Should I say something? Let him know my feelings?
What if the only boy I like this way doesn't like me?
My fears are rushing through my brain, and I'm silent. He keeps eye-contact, leans forward to brush the hair from my face, then letting his hand stay on my cheek. It feels good, natural. Maybe this isn't so hard at all? Maybe all I need to do is follow my instincts, do what feels right.
His pretty sea-green eyes stare into my blue ones.
" I like you, Cass. A lot. I know you're probably very confused about everything right now, because things keep happening so fast. But can you answer one question? Honestly, please?"
I nod, unable to speak.
"After the games, can you consider being my girlfriend?"
I'm still speechless. Did Evan Storm just ask me to be his girlfriend? No way!
"I don't need to consider it. I say yes," I manage to get out.
He smiles, and leans a little backward. "That's all I need to hear right now."
But I refuse to let him slip away from me yet. In a few days it'll be long enough.
"I'd actually answer that question with a 'yes' anytime you asked it."
"If I ask right now?"
"Yeah."
"Would you be my girlfriend, Cassidy?" He's smiling, his eyes sparkling.
"Of course, Evan."
He leans forward to kiss me.