His head hurts from all the alcohol he drunk last night. He doesn't want to get up yet, but he has to. He'd be having a photoshoot for one of his endorsements today.
Why did he have to drink so much last night?
He groans bitterly.
He's so comfortable in his bed, in his soft sheets which makes it even more difficult to even move. It smells so nice and...different.
He nuzzles his pillow closer, enjoying the scent.
It smells so good...
Like flowers...Like shampoo.
But not like his...
Like a girl's shamp --
A girl??
His eyes shot opens immediately.
Oh shit.
She has her back turned to him and her hair was all over his pillow area. He doesn't recognize who it is yet, but shepu smells familiar.
He doesn't remember bringing someone home last night.
Was he that wasted?
He slowly sits up the bed, careful not to wake her. But the girl stirs and he finally sees her face.
Nadz??
He frantically stood up from the bed, moving away from her.
Oh shit. Oh shit.
He realizes that he has nothing on him. He quickly scrambles to put something on.
And this caused Nadine to wake up.
'James? Love?' She calls him groggily.
Love??
'You okay?' She sits up the bed and the sheets fall down from her chest, exposing her breasts to him.
Oh my god.
James instinctively averts his eyes from her. He should not be seeing Nadine like this.
He doesn't remember much of what happened last night, he doesn't even know that she was there at the party.
This is so wrong. Did they just had sex?? She is his friend and they work together. They're not supposed to have sex!
But she doesn't seem to be scandalized.
'What's wrong?' Her brows furrow inquisitively.
He clears his throat nervously, unsure of what to say.
'W-we...you and m-me...' He starts as his hand motions between the two of them cautiously.
She tilts her head to the side as she waits for him to continue.
'...did w-we...just...' His voice shakes, he doesn't want to say it.
'What?'
'...have...s-s...' He couldn't say it.
'Sex?' She finishes for him.
And he just nods his head violently.
'Yes. Twice. Last night.' She answers even though she finds his actions peculiar.
'Are you okay, love? Are you sick?' She stands up to approach him and he backs away instantly as far as he can, covering his eyes as he sees her fully naked body.
This shocked Nadine.
'James? What's wrong?' She asks firmly.
He is still not looking at her. And it's so wrong that he wants to, but he doesn't. It's not right.
This is not right at all.
'James, you're scaring me. Are you okay?'
He just shakes his head while he is turned away from her.
Nadine grabs the sheets to cover herself, taking the hint that he doesn't want to look at her. She feels a little hurt, but she tries to get over it.
What matters now is why James is acting that way.
Like he's scared of seeing her.
'James, I'm covered up. You can look now.' She states distastefully.
He slowly puts his hands down from his face. He sees that she's back on the bed again with the sheets clinging by her chest, and he feels so guilty when he saw the look on her face.
She's hurt.
And he feels the need to comfort her, ignoring all the panic for the moment.
'Hey. I-I'm sorry.' He says so unsurely, but he means it. 'I was just shocked.'
'What?? Why the hell would you be shocked?' She hissed.
He shrugs. He's not sure what to say because he's scared it might make things worse and he doesn't want it to, not with the tone of her voice.
'I didn't mean to offend you Nadz.'
She lets out a sigh before she speaks.
'Okay.' Of course she forgives him.
He smiles a little so it would at least ease her.
'I'm gonna get dressed. And I don't want you to get scared of my body again, so can you please go out first?' She tells him sarcasitcally.
She stands up and walks to her dresser.
James begins to wonder again.
Why does she have a dresser here? She lives her?
It seems like this is such a regular occurrence to her, and it makes him wonder how she ended up here in his condo. How they end up having sex.
Twice. As she says.
He just watches her move around his room like she's so familiar with it.
That's when he saw everything.
This is his room. That he's sure of.
But everything's different.
He has a bigger bed now.
And she has all her stuff here.
Shoes. Cameras. Pillows. Candles.
She even has her own dresser.
He's not entirely sure how this happened, and he doesn't want to offend her even more.
So he stays quiet.
He doesn't know how this will affect their friendship. Their whole relationship for that matter.
'Hey. You gonna watch me, or you're going out?' She says a bit harshly, obviously still a little pissed of his reaction earlier.
He snaps out of his thoughts as he just leaves the room, feeling dumb-founded with all that he saw.
He walks around his condo like he's just discovering it for the first time. He recognized some of his stuff are still there, but some of the furnitures are new to him. Even what's supposed to be Bret's room is now what he thinks is a guest room. Everything is so organized and clean and perfect, a lot of feminine touch.
A lot of Nadine. He thinks.
And they have pictures in frames everywhere.
Them cuddled so close together in Lake Tahoe.
Them smiling at each other in a wine cellar.
Them kissing in front of the Lourve in Paris.
And they look so happy together. He looks so happy.
He doesn't recall any of these happening even on-cam. Yes, they did have romantic scenes, but nothing like these.
This is where everything sinks in.
Are they dating?? For how long??
He thought that they just happen to sleep together by accident or something.
But everything around him screams: in a relationship.
And he's not ready for any of that.
He's on top of his game right now. He can't be committed.
Maybe this is some kind of dream??
He slaps himself hard, thinking it would wake him up. But nothing happened.
'This couldn't be happening.' He mutters to himself as if saying it is going to change anything.
He suddenly feels hot, sweat prickles on his face. He starts to breathe in heavily. Suffocating.
He needs to get out.
He barges in to his room again without thinking, Nadine's head abruptly turns to him in surprise.
'James!'
He ignores her.
He grabs the first shirt he sees and some pants as he runs out of the room.
'James! Where are you going?!'
He hears her call after him but he couldn't turn back.
'JAMES!'
He's been gone the whole day and he has no plans of going home any sooner.
He doesn't want to.
He's planning on staying here, in this bar he loves, just him alone with a drink and his thoughts.
He ignores everyone's calls.
Especially Nadine's calls.
He doesn't want to talk to anyone, not until he clears everything in his head.
But he can't. As much as he tries to, he can't.
He scrolls through his phone's gallery, looking at all the pictures. There were a lot.
He wanted to know what's going on as he feels so lost, thinking that this might help him.
Help him understand or remember. Whatever.
He sees pictures of him with his family and friends having fun doing whatever, photos of him during work, performing or photoshoot behind-the-scenes. But he couldn't remember these moments at all.
Most are photos of him with Nadine though.
He couldn't help but smile a bit to himself because they look so happy.
So in love perhaps.
He even sees some intimate photos of them.
Of Nadine.
But he feels like he's violating some rule so he doesn't look at it...that much.
He knows that's him in those pictures, but he seems to be a different guy.
He feels like he's an intruder to himself.
Like this is him. But it's not him.
He doesn't even know if that makes sense. But that's what he thinks it is.
How that happened? No one knows.
'I knew you'd be here!'
He turns around and he sees Bret panting behind him.
'What the fuck man?! We've been looking for you all day! Nadz has been so worried!'
James just ignores him, but he feels guilty. He knows he hurt her by running away just like that.
'You are hard to find you know that! C'mon, we're going.'
But James acted like he didn't hear anything.
Bret realizes that his friend wouldn't come with him right away, so he orders himself a drink and sits with him.
'What's the matter, man?'
James just shrugs. He doesn't know how to start.
'C'mon. It's just me.'
'I don't know, man.' He sighs before taking a sip.
'Okay. But can you just tell me what happened this morning? Nadz has been crazy worried, she just told me you left.'
'Well...' He hesistates a bit, but he decided to go on. 'Well, I woke up...and she was there...and...everything's different! It's just...I'm not ready!'
He tries to explain, but it's just not that easy. He was just thankful that Bret seems to accept it, like he understood what he said.
'You know Nadz loves you. I know you love her too. You shouldn't be doing this.'
He knows that. But that's not him.
'Talk to her. Don't throw your relationship away, man. You've been through so much.'
'I know - I know that...I think.' He says, but more like to convince himself.
'But whatever happens, I'll help you, man.'
He feels grateful that Brets here. Everything's new to him, but at least Bret stays the same.
'Do you wanna order another drink before I take you home?' Bret asks him.
'Uhh...I don't think I wanna go home yet.'
'What? Why?'
'I want to think first...alone. Before I talk to her.'
Bret gives him a disapproving look but he reluctantly agrees anyway.
'Alright. But I can't leave you here. Just stay at my place.'
'Yeah, I'm with him now. He's fine...he's just...'
James hears Bret talking on the phone once they were settled in his condo. He is probably talking to Nadine.
'He'll stay here tonight...Don't worry Nadz, everything will be fine.'
She must be so worried. Maybe crying her eyes out even. The thought makes him sick and it makes him want to come home and comfort her, but he knows he needs to clear his head first.
'That's Nadz.' Bret says once he was done on the phone, walking over to him. 'I told her you're staying with me.'
'She okay?' He's sincerely worried.
'Well, she's crying...so...no.'
He just purses his lips and nods. He couldn't say anything because he knows it's all his fault. He shouldn't have just asked, it just made him feel worse.
He cares about her of course. She is his one of his friends. His closest girl friend.
But for them to be together? He can't believe it.
It's not that he despises the idea, she's a great catch, he knows that. She's pretty, talented and she has a good heart.
And apparently, she's fuckin hot.
But still, to just wake up one morning without any idea why or how they're together?
He didn't sign up for any of that.
'Here.' Bret hands him a pillow and a blanket. 'You better talk to her tomorrow, man. She's so upset. I don't like seeing her like that.'
'Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.' He means it.
He will talk to her.
But what will he even tell her?
He opens the door to his condo, surpised to see it wasn't locked.
He slowly peaks in as he sees Nadine sitting on the couch with both her knees close to her chest. The TV's on but she doesn't seem to be watching, nor does she notice him walking in.
She has dark circles under her eyes and hair hair's a mess as it falls off on both her shoulders. The tear streaks on her cheeks are still quite visible.
His heart breaks a little to the scene.
'Hey.' He calls her softly and that's just when she saw him.
She doesn't move, she instantly just cries as she bows her head down to her knees, and she hugs her legs closer.
It's so hard for her to face him, especially when he just left her and ignored all her calls. Like he doesn't care at all anymore.
He doesn't know how to approach her right now, he still feels bad because of how he acted.
He walks closer to the couch she's sitting on, each step marks uncertainty. He sits awkwardly beside her, leaving a space between them.
'Ano ba nangyare, James?' She's the one who starts as she sobs.
'Nadz, I'm sorry.'
She raises her head from being buried on her knees when she heard him. She would've scoffed if she wasn't too hurt.
That's all he can say??
'I'm sorry...I-I...' He starts when he felt she was unsatisfied with what he said.
'I wasn't myself yesterday.'
That's all he came up with as an explanation.
'You weren't yourself?? That's it?? Isang buong araw ka nawala?? Di mo sinasagot tawag ko! Kase you weren't yourself?!'
She fumes at him, angry tears are now coming out of her eyes as she looks at him.
He stiffens to her outburst but he understands why.
In his mind, Nadine is not his girlfriend. But she is his girlfriend. He owes it to himself to not ruin this. He silently promises to himself to make this work.
So he pulls her in an embrace.
'I'm sorry, Nadz. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I'm sorry.'
And she just cries on his chest, forgetting all her frustrations, just surrendering to his warmth.
He slept beside her that night, her face so close to his as one of her arms rests comfortably on his middle. He wasn't expecting to enjoy this that much, but he does. He saw her sleeping many times before during tapings and shootings. But he never really looked at her. Not this close.
He notes how her eyebrows twitch once in a while and furrows.
Maybe she's having a bad dream. He thinks. Maybe she's dreaming about what happened.
He quickly dismisses the thought.
He brings his attention back to her. There's something that magnetizes his his senses to her.
He's very much aware of how their bed smells like her. It reminds him of cherries. So fresh and sweet.
He likes how he can touch her face, thinking that she has the most perfect skin as he traces his fingers to her nose.
He smiles when she crinkles it.
He finally has his eyes on her lips. They are slightly parted as he wonders how would they taste like, feeling the urge to kiss her. But he's a little hesistant. She is not his girlfriend to kiss...but...he wants to.
He wouldn't get mad if he kissed her, right?
He is still him anyways.
Besides, he is the one here right now.
So he moves his face closer to her, careful not to wake her. But just as he's close enough, she stirs in her sleep and he moves away instantly, like he shouldn't be caught doing that.
'Hm? James? Why are you still up?' She says in her half-awake state.
'Did I wake you? I'm sorry. Go back to sleep.' He runs his hand on her arms, caressing her to sleep.
'You okay?' She asks, still concerned that maybe he'd go running again.
'Yeah, I'm fine. I was just looking at you.'
She gives him a small smile, glad that he's back to being his sweet self and then she leans closer and kisses him.
He was a little shocked with the kiss but he responds anyway. She tries to pull away immediately as it was supposed to be just a quick smack on the lips, but he's not done tasting her. He catches her lips again with his, pressing deeper.
He hears her moan as he swipes his tongue over her bottom lip. And oh god, he felt himself go hard in an instant.
'Mmph James. Wait.' She pulls away to his dismay.
'I'm not in the mood and I'm still mad at you.' She pouts, acting hurt as she teases him. 'And you're scared of my body, right?'
He feels a little embarrassed by her sassy remark as he was reminded of his actions, but he couldn't help but smile because he finds her so adorable.
And all she can do is to smile back at him, making his smile even wider.
Maybe this isn't so bad. He thinks.