Story Of My Life -One Direction
"I'm giving you five seconds to leave and never talk to me again." I threatened.
"One..." I began after a moment of awkward silence passed.
"Georgia, please just turn around." He still held onto my wrist, not realizing the pain I'm experiencing.
"Two..."
"You're being childish." He said and I scoffed.
"Three..." I continued.
"Turn around! Just turn around!" He was losing his patience but I really couldn't give a shit.
"Four..." I really just hope he leaves, I never want to even look at him ever again.
"Just talk to me! I'll leave right after just let me explain!" He plead.
"Five..."
"Georgia, just listen to what I have to say and I promise I'll leave!" I heard the thick emotion stirred into his deep voice.
"What do you want Liam?" I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see my face.
"Look at me." He begged but I disobeyed.
"No."
He unknowingly tightened the grip on my bare arm once again, trying to turn me around.
"Ow! Stop!" I shrieked at the pain he was causing. He wasn't even pressing down hard but it felt like thousands of thumbtacks sticking into me. Liam quickly let go of my arm and gasped.
"D-Did I hurt you?" His voice was filled with guilt and he seemed genuinely concerned.
"Im fine." I tried to keep the sadness and hurt out of my voice but failed. There was a long silence and I was trying not to let the sobs escape from my mouth so he wouldn't notice I was crying.
"Georgia?" Liam asked, I hardly heard him over the rain.
"What." I snapped.
"Why is there blood on my fingers?" He said this in a sad, disappointed voice.
I panicked. What could I even tell him? He's figuring it out as the seconds gradually pass. I don't want him to know these things, I just want him gone. I want him out of my life for good because he is part of the reason this all started. I quickly take my sleeves and roll them down, ignoring the stinging of my sore arms.
"I-I fell." I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as I still refused to face him, I'd much rather him not see me like this.
"A-Are you sure?" Liam's not stupid, he knows very well I didn't fall but he just doesn't want to come right out and accuse me of what I've been doing. His manipulative mind is trying to trick me into telling him.
"Yep." Is all I could say because I can't trust my voice right now.
"You fell on the-the inside...of your arms?" I could hear the raw emotion in his voice, it sounded like he wanted to cry.
"Y-Y....Yes." My lip quivered.
"O-Okay." He said. Another long silence appeared as I stared at the wall trying my hardest not to break down, Liam still standing right behind me.
"Georgia?" Liam broke the silence.
"Mhm." If I talked he'd know I was on the verge of crying.
"Did...Did you really fall?" He asked, the worry clear in his vocal expression.
My hands balled into fists and I fought so hard to keep the endless flow of tears in and distract myself from the stinging of my wrists. My breath caught at the back of my throat and I literally felt like I was physically unable to talk.
"N-No." I squeaked, barely audible.
The tears all came flowing out all at once, I didn't realize I said that until it exited my mouth. I internally screamed at myself for saying it. Part of me hated myself even more for telling someone about something so disgusting but the other parted almost felt relieved.
"W-What happened?" He asked, carefulness edged his voice.
"Nothing. Nothing happened." I said quickly as I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Did you do that...those on your arm?" His voice shook as he talked. I stayed silent which confirmed his question. He cleared his throat and took a sharp intake of breath.
I don't know why the hell I just pretty much told Liam about my self harm, I feel so dumb. This is the guy who broke Harry and I up which has made my life a living hell.
"Do they...hurt?" I did a barely noticeable nod but by the way he sighed I know he saw.
"Look at me, please." He tried once again but I stayed as still as a statue.
He put his hands on my shoulders and I flinched at the sudden contact. His large, heavy hands felt like bricks set upon my weak, boney back. His hands guided me to turn around and face him. I didn't fight it because frankly, I just don't have the energy. I can feel the first symptoms of hypothermia setting in.
I kept my eyes glued to his large boots as I was now fully turned around to face him. I felt like I'd puke if I looked at his face though, I just can't do it. I've been doing things to myself for the last three weeks that are so indescribably disgusting and horrid and the guy standing in front of me is the root of the whole problem. I can feel the vomit arising from my stomach but I know I can't puke, I have nothing left inside of me to give.
When I say this I don't just mean inside my stomach. I mean, everything inside of me has been ripped away, shattered. I can't find a single reason on why I should be here today but the thought of dying terrifies me. If I died then I would never see Harry ever again, I would never be able to touch him.
I would never be able to explain to him what happened and he'd spend the rest of his life hating me.
(Stormy -Hedley)
Liams POV
I can't keep the tears in any longer as I watch her refuse to look at me. She hates me so much that she can't even look me in the eyes. What have I done? I completely broke Georgia just because I was selfish. I wanted her for myself but didn't even think of the consequences it might have.
I take my hands off of her boney shoulders and she noticeably breathes out in relief.
Looking at her through my teary vision, I watch as she stares down at my feet, knowing my gaze is still on her. I sniffle and wipe my eyes with my wet coat sleeve.
Her sweater and sweatpants stick like glue to her skinny body. She brings her hand up to the side of her face to what I assume is to wipe her eyes but her hand flinches back. That's when I notice the red on her light beige sleeve.
Georgia has been self harming.
My heart literally dropped once she confirmed she made the marks in her arms herself. Imagining someone so strong like Georgia doing that to herself kills me inside. She seems so confident but the minute I felt the marks in her wrist, I realized I overestimated her. I knew they weren't just scrapes, no pavement could cut someone the way her arm reveals.
My heart clenches as my mind takes me back to the day I kissed her at the movie premiere, that was only just over three weeks ago but it feels like three years. The way she screamed at me and her eyes showed pure hatred, I couldn't keep my stupid mouth shut though.
I just had to go on and on about how we could be together now and that only threw gasoline into the already burning fire. Now the same girl that was so furious stands here in front of me, not even looking the least bit strong like she makes bystanders believe. She is not the same person than she was that day, she has given up on being strong.
I don't want Georgia to give up though, I need her to be strong, to fight through it. Seeing her like this hurts because I always thought she was one of the most confident people I know, I never thought she would resort to anything like this.
I observed her as she shivered, bringing her pinky-red marked sleeves close to her body, hoping to preserve heat. Her body shook abnormally as her hair dripped with wetness from the never ending rain.
"How long have you been out here?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.
She didn't answer me, just continued to stare at the ground, hiding her face. After a few seconds I saw her arm shakily retreat from her wet body. She held up four fingers and I noticed the blue tint in her hand that also confirmed how long she had been in the rain.
"You've been out here in the pouring rain for four hours?" She nodded her head slightly.
"Why though? Why would you want to be out here." I asked, confused.
"I didn't..." Her croaky voice sounded, drowned out by the rain.
"I didn't choose it." She breathed out as if it took all her power just to say that simple sentence.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
She started shaking her head repeatedly, she was trying to keep from breaking down. The feeling in the pit of my stomach grew and I felt uneasy. It physically pains me to the same girl I fell in love with like this.
She brought her head up to look at me, it felt like I got pushed back by what I saw.
This girl didn't look like Georgia, not one bit. Her hair lost all its life and stuck wetly to her face which looked like a layer of skin over her skull. There wasn't a single ounce of fat on her face and the chubby cheeks I always loved on her were faded away. Her cheek bones stuck out and her blue eyes were lifeless. There was not a single drop of emotion in the eyes I saw before me that were illuminated by the street light. Her skin was blotchy and wet from the rain but also from her tears. The makeup she put on was smudged under her eyes and all over her cheeks but the worst part of it all was the left side of her face. A large blue-purple bruise had took over her whole cheek.
It looks like it must be so painful and someone must've hit her because there are four noticeable knuckle marks painted into her pale skin. The bruise was extremely dark and spread across the whole left surface, covering her beautiful facial features.
"Georgia." I whispered as the tears watered in my eyes, my voice seemed to be stuck at the back of my throat.
"What happened?" I struggled to talk as my heart smashed against the wet pavement beneath our feet. My feelings for Georgia haven't left at all over these last three weeks, if anything they've gotten stronger.
I feel so guilty though, I hurt two of the people I cared about more than anything. I haven't talked to Harry ever since but I know Im going to need to soon. Seeing Georgia looking like this makes me want to bring her into my arms and protect her. Too bad she'd never let me do that.
Georgia closed her eyes and I watched the heavy raindrops splash onto her face, running down her forehead and dripping off of her clumped eyelashes. She tucked both lips in as she tightly clenched her eyes, making the rain and tears that were caught run down her face. She rocked back and forth on her feet as her body violently shook.
Knowing she was going through shock from the cold, I quickly took my raincoat off and draped it over her shoulders. She stood in her spot, not being able to even stretch out enough to put her sore, weak arms through the sleeves of the jacket. I grabbed one of them, being extra careful not to touch her wrists, and assisted her.
Zipping the coat up, she still shook because of the wet clothes underneath. She is entering the first steps of hypothermia, I need to get her to a hospital. I watched as her chest rose and fell quickly, showing me that she could very well pass out any second.
I picked her up and started running with her in my arms, trying to steer my way through the dark school yard she lead us into. She didn't even make a sound as I touched her even though I new for a fact she didn't want me to. The rain hit both of our faces hard as I ran as fast as I could, heading to the hospital up the road.
I stopped dead in my tracks as I realized something, I can't take her to the hospital. There's obviously more wrong with her health than the early stages of hypothermia and there isn't a doubt that crosses my mind that the doctors will figure them out.
She'll wake up even more terrified than before because she will be hooked up to tubes and needles piercing into her already delicate skin. I can't let her feel that kind of torture, in her condition it will just hurt her further.
I turn on my heels, letting my boots scrape against the pavement. I head towards my flat and don't stop running until I arrive in front of it. Georgia's head seemed to have sensed the warmness in my chest because her face burrowed further into the crook of my neck, looking for that very warmth. I smiled to myself, having known I just saved her life.
If I didn't decide to go out and clear my mind this afternoon, Georgia would've passed out from hypothermia. The bitter cold air mixed with the downfall of rain would've sucked the life out of her as the night passed.
She could've died.
I don't think I could even handle the thought of Georgia not living, it feels like I've been punched in the stomach just from thinking about it. But I still feel that exact same way at this very moment.
It feels absolutely amazing to have Georgia in my arms, but not as good as I thought. I want her to love being in my warmth, I want her to love me. I don't want to have to fight with her because I know she hates me. She hates my guts, I don't blame her though.
As I enter the elevator with her still cradled in my arms, I take in her appearance. She looks so unhealthy and it even bothers me to witness it. I feel her bones sticking out beneath her clothes and if it wasn't for her small breaths someone could easily mistake her as a corpse. My heart clenches as I take in the sight and her bloodied arms.
The wet red stained sleeves have been stretched from her pulling on them and her right arm is uncovered. The sleeve is hiked up to her elbow revealing the deep, bleeding cuts that cover the whole surface. I feel a tear run down my face as I see old scars but also fresh, unhealed gashes. The rain has cleaned them out but also has made them bleed heavily at the same time.
I will never get this sight out of my head. The girl who I thought was in invincible and could fight through anything is the same girl who suffers a deep depression. I love Georgia so much and she knows that too, I just wished she felt the same.
Maybe I could help her, I could show her how so much better life could be if she looks at it through a positive aspect. I could comfort her when she's discouraged with herself. I would protect her better than Harry ever did, but she doesn't see that. She loves Harry.
Jealousy and rage come over me as I think about my bandmate. He's so lucky but he takes it all for granted. He doesn't see the fortune he has and how badly this girl needs someone.
I walk into my flat and bring Georgia to my bedroom. Turning up the heat, I set her on the bed and go through my drawer to find a shirt and some pajamas for her to wear. She can't possibly sleep in those wet clothes but I get nervous because I realize ill have to undress her myself.
Sighing, I make my way over to the bed where her body lays. I bite my lip as I zip down her sweater which reveals her black T-shirt that I recognize as Harry's underneath. My anger returns but I push it back as I carefully remove her arms from the soaked, bloody sleeves being careful not to rub them against the fabric. I then grab the hem of the dripping black shirt and pull it up and over her head. It takes all my willpower to look away so I can show her some decency even though she's pretty much passed out. It's hard to put a shirt on someone while not looking directly at them but I got the job done. Doing the same with her pants, she was now fully dressed in warm, dry clothes. Except for her bra and underwear because I feel like she would kill me if I took those off.
She was still shivering as I observed her tossing and turning around on my large bed.
"Stop! I'm sorry mum!" She screamed and it startled me, I didn't know what to do.
"I love you mum! Please don't leave me!" She started to cry as she continued to quiver in her sleep. I jumped on the bed and grasped her boney shoulders.
"Georgia? Georgia are you okay?" I lightly shook her, trying to get her to awake from the nightmare she seemed to be having.
"No! I'm sorry!" She screamed once again and I shook her a bit harder. She took in a large breath as her bloodshot eyes snapped open, barely. Her breathing was rapid as she weakly grabbed me by the neck and brought me closer to her.
I closed my eyes, savoring this heaven. Being in Georgia's arms is what I've wanted since the very first time I saw her. Having her pull me into her springs hope into my mind, maybe she feels the same way.
"H-Harry." She breathed as she sighed in relief and I felt the tears wet my shirt, she was sweating but her skin was still cold. All the hope I had for a relationship washed away like sand on a beach.
"No, it's....it's Liam." I said, feeling like someone sucked the life out of me. I tried to keep my voice from shaking but it felt impossible.
"Harry?" I pulled back and looked at her confused eyes. Her mind was obviously mixing things around along with her eye sight.
"Liam." I sighed, defeated.
"C-Cold." Her vulnerable voice said as she rubbed the visible goosebumps on her arm. I pulled up the quilt on my bed and tucked it over her. She sighed in relief as the warmness hit her. I got off of the bed and was just about to leave the room when she spoke again.
"Don't go." The tears fell over her nose as she cried and I saw her still shaking even under the large sheet. I feel like I should leave her alone but I can't leave her at the same time.
I can't pass up this opportunity just to hold Georgia while she's sleeping. I've dreamt about this, my arm over her slumbered body. Warmth shoots through my body, she doesn't need to say that twice. Climbing under the quilt, I lay down but keep as much distance as I can between us. It kills me not to touch her but I need to respect her space.
"Closer." She whispered as she scooted nearer to my warmth.
I moved closer to her also until we were molded into each other perfectly. I smiled as this is the one thing I've been longing for, to hold this beautiful girl. I can't believe this is finally happening, I love her so much.
"I love you." I whispered into her ear.
"I love you too, Harry." She said and a tear escaped from my eye.
IT WAS LIAM IT WAS LIAM IT WAS LIAM
WHY WASNT IT HARRY
O IK BC EVERYTHING WOULD BE TOO EASY IF IT WAS HARRY STUPID
this chapter kills me bc i actually kinda feel bad for liam idk