[i]
[niall] [May 31, 2014]
Ignoring all the calls of my name, my feet made way past all the crew backstage. Not caring about my sweaty and exhausted self and ignoring the boys running behind me, I ran faster and straight into the dressing room. The end of this concert was just what I was waiting for after disappointing thousands of people with an onstage breakdown.
From the small ice box in the corner I fetched a bottle of freezing water and without hesitation poured the content over my body, from top to toe. A cooling sensation passed through me and I fell down on the sofa, letting some stray tears mix with the water droplets trickling down my face. I could hear heavy footsteps outside, but I just lay there feeling nothing.
“Niall!” I groaned at my own name knowing what was coming. I didn't want another consoling session from one of the boys and they were aware of it too. Yet they spent hours doing so. They really need to understand it's not going to help. Recognizing the voices wasn't difficult. The door clicked open, and all the boys barged in, worried expressions splattered on their faces.
“I tried, okay?” I sighed, running a hand through my damp hair pushing the locks back, letting out a long deep breath. I didn't want them to say anything about what just happened. Practice had gone perfectly before the show, and I was even confident enough about everything. I don't know how it just got to me last minute, everything just crashed down. “I need to be alone.”
I inched towards the door slowly, feeling the boys' stares burning in my back. I didn't give them another look. I simply couldn't because I knew it would turn into a conversation and they'd not let me escape from the situation. So the best thing to do right now was escape them. In matter of seconds I found myself heading towards the stadium parking. Spotting my car standing smack in the middle, I unlocked it with the digital key and literally jumped in, laying my head on the hard steering wheel.
I thought closing my eyes and taking a little nap would help, but it only turned worse. Violently pulling at my drenched tank top, I started the car engine. Stepping on the accelerator I made a way for the exit, and before I knew it I was driving on the road with no definite destination. Trying my best to keep the speed limit and follow all the traffic signals, I kept driving hoping it would be the way that would cool me down.
A specific red signal made me stop, and I slammed my hand against the steering wheel. Nope, this was not working at all. I was thankful my windows were tinted, or I don't think it would take long for anyone to notice me. Although it wouldn't matter, everyone had probably noticed the sudden increase in my temper. Breathing deep, I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, looking around for a distraction. That was when my eyes fixed on the Baskin Robbins shop on my left.
“Well since you start your tour next week, let's celebrate with ice cream,” I smiled, Amber always had reasons for ice cream. I wouldn't say no though, when am i not ready for it as well? And I guess the tour is a proper reason to celebrate, so might as well have some of the sweet treat, possibly two scoops? Yeah, that's right.
“We could go once you're done here,” I followed her around the place. Nobody likes grocery shopping, but I was fine if there was company. Plus since it was Amber, she doesn't take no for an answer so I just had to tag along. She gave me a blank look.
“Niall, there's Baskin Robbins on the opposite side. Plus I'm almost done,” She sighed, stuffing some vegetables into the basket. I scrunched up my nose. “Just go, I'll be fine. Get me-”
“Vanilla, I know,” I laughed. Well, you can clearly see who's the dominant one here. “I'll be back.” Placing a soft kiss on her lips, I trudged out of the store. The road was quite scarce of cars, so it didn't take long to walk across and enter the ice cream shop. Right away the mixed fragrance of different flavoured ice cream lingered around, as I made my way towards the counter.
“How may I help you?” I looked up at the younger boy, probably about sixteen years old, refilling the ice cream containers. Looking through the flavours, I decided on one for myself. I normally take a long time because there really isn't a flavour here I don't really like, but I wanted to make this quick so I went along with the first thing that caught my eye.
“Two scoops of Vanilla in a cone, and two scoops of Pralines 'n Cream in another cone, please,” I smiled, while tapping my fingers on the showcase glass lightly. The boy nodded, and I watched as he carefully prepared the ice cream cones, having nothing else to do. It took a while, so I guessed the boy was new to the job.
“Here you go,” He smiled, handing me the cones. I first placed the money I had for the ice cream and then gladly grabbed the ice cream. As I waited for the bill, there was a sudden sound behind me. A sound of something crashing. It was like a huge explosion, but not really like a blast. In confusion, I turned around and walked towards the glass door to see a crowd forming. My eyes widened, someone was knocked off!
Forgetting about the bill, I hurried towards the crowd in a worried state, hoping the person was okay. Pushing through the many people that had gathered, my eyes caught the strands of bright ginger hair sprawled on the concrete road, covered in blood. I pushed people around harder, finally getting at the front of the crowd.
The cones in my hand dropped on the ground, my heartbeat rising. Before I knew it, I was on my knees. Taking her head on my laps, stroking her hair lightly, I waited for her lifeless and blood covered body to wake up. A deep hole formed in my heart when she didn't, at least it felt like that. I felt sick, suddenly wanting to throw up but my legs didn't move.
“Amber!”
Hard knocking on my window glass snapped me out of my thoughts. I shook my head, trying to make my blurry vision clear. When I did, I came across the an annoyed looking man tapping on the window. Confused, I rolled down the glass to know what he wanted.
“Uh, yeah?” I croaked out.
“Man, I don't know why the hell you're crying, but your stupid excuse of a car is blocking the entire way!” He snapped, making me wince. I gave him a weird look. Stupid excuse of a car? I was driving in a Range Rover for God's sake. Not wanting to pick a fight with a random stranger, I quickly muttered a 'sorry' and rolled the glass back up. Breathing deeply, I pushed on the escalator again, setting off.
Scenes from my memories were still flashing in front of my eyes, not letting me focus on the road. Irritated and annoyed, I abruptly stopped the car not caring where I was, and got out. The cold London air touched my skin, making the already present goosebumps stay longer. I realized I was standing in front of a garden, so I casually made my way inside. I didn't care about getting noticed at the moment. Maybe I wouldn't even get noticed, as I probably don't look like Niall Horan right now with my horrid damp hair, crumpled tank top and red as a tomato face. But even if I do, I don't care.
I don't know for how long, but I walked around the entire garden. Seeing little children play in glee on swings and slides, maybe sandboxes actually calmed me down a little and I was no longer angry. Just, sad. How easy their lives were. If anyone left them, they'll be sad for a few days and get back to doing whatever they wanted to. They were innocent and that was one thing that didn't stop them from going on. And then as you grow up you just have too many emotions, difficult to contain.
After sometime I found myself sitting on a garden bench. It was dark now and most people were gone. There was almost pin drop silence, except for a few people walking alone or maybe a couple or two taking walks. I avoided looking at them, not wanting any memories again, knowing I can't avoid them however. Out of nowhere my eyes averted on the bright moon in the sky. With a blank mind, I just stared at it, until I felt someone sit down besides me.
It was an old man. Quite old to be honest. With several wrinkles on his face, a big fat black framed pair of glasses, and a wooden walking stick. He looked kind and nice, as he flashed a warm smile at my direction. I returned one, but a smaller one. Somehow I had this feeling that he had been observing me, I don't know why.
“You seem in deep thoughts, son?” I looked back at him, wondering why he was asking me questions when he didn't know me. Not being rude, but that was a little weird. Maybe he really was observing me. . . “Oh I'm sorry, how rude of me,” He chuckled. “I'm John.” He introduced. Basic, but nice. I nodded.
“Niall,” I muttered, introducing myself.
“So what's the matter? Not to be intruding your problems, but they say it's nice to say it all out to a stranger. You never meet that person again, so you know there's no facing them again,” He said. I rose my eyebrows, taking in his words. He was a nice man, maybe even trustworthy. Plus, whom was he going go tell around the things I say? He probably doesn't even know me.
I sighed.
“Just wishing some things never happened. . .” I looked away. I didn't know where to start, and plus I didn't want to load someone with my sob story as well. He'll mostly get bored and leave in the middle of it.
“This is about a girl, isn't it?” He let out a soft laugh. I was amused. This man knew more than I thought.
“How did you know?” I questioned, confused.
“I've lived eighty five years, son,” He smiled. “Walking here everyday, seeing children grow up, people like you staring into the sky. I might be old, but I can sure observe.” I nodded, convinced.
“It is,” I shifted in my seat. “Her name was Amber. And she. . died two months back. Even though I know it's not my fault, it feels like it is. I had the full power to save her from the accident, if I hadn't succumbed to her dominant behaviour but. .” I laughed.
“You don't have to tell me everything,” He patted my back, and I felt myself relax. “My wife passed away years back. I didn't marry again, didn't try to find love again. I thought there was no space and capacity for it in me anymore. But over the years I've seen so many people getting second chances. Who knows, maybe you will?” He explained.
“Second chance?” I asked, confused. He nodded.
“Yes, second chance. It can come anyhow,” He shrugged, getting up with the help of his wooden stick. He held a hand out when I offered help. “In form of a new love interest. . or who knows how?” I just stared at him completely bewildered, not knowing what he meant. His words didn't make much sense, except for the part where he probably suggested for me to get another girlfriend which I was sure I wasn't doing. At least not for a long, long time.
I watched as he walked out of the garden, and then he was not noticable anymore. Feeling suffocated all of a sudden, I decided to head home right away. Maybe I needed some sleep, then I'd feel better. Not wasting any more time, I headed home in my car. Eight thirty isn't my normal time to sleep at all, hell it's no one's.
But I was still there laying in my bed, playing the old man's words in my head again again, trying to make sense out of it and also waiting for sleep to consume me.
FIRST CHAPTER YO.
First thing, like I don't know how this shit happened but I wake up to my email spammed with notifications and I nearly fell off the chair. I was laughing, really. Like before this I got around. . one or two emails so this was more funny for me actually.
But a MASSIVE thank you to all those who read, voted and commented and all those other things. I don't know why you like this but thanks anyway >.>
Hope this was a good first chapter.
-May