Chapter 19
I was just there watching them, nagkakatawanan ang dalawa. I smiled bitterly, even once i never made him laugh that way.
It was all clear that he still loves her. Saan na ako lulugar?
Samantha, turned her gaze to me kaya pati si Drexzel ay lumingon din saakin. I smiled, trying to hide what i really feel.
"Cousin?" tingin niya saaming dalawa ni Drexzel.
My lips parted a bit but i still managed to smile. Bumaling ako kay Drexzel. Why don't you tell her what we really are?
"N-No, uhm she's my... girlfriend." he muttered.
"Oh..." napatingin si Samantha saakin.
I smiled bitterly. Why does it sound as if he's reluctant about us. The way he stuttered, the hesitations in his eyes, made my heart shattered into pieces.
"Restroom lang ako." paalam ko.
But i refused to look at anyone's faces. Tumayo ako at dumiretso sa labas. Medyo nahirapan pa akong makarating sa banyo dahil sa dami ng tao. But as i successfully reached the restroom, i immediately locked myself to the cubicle and cried myself inside.
I cried but i feel numb at the same time.
He admitted to her that i am his girlfriend but the way he uttered each word... it was full of hesitation.
This is damn painful...
Nakakaawa ako.
I sighed. Lumabas ako sa cubicle at hinarap ang sarili sa salamin. My eyes were reddish, halatang kakagaling ko lang sa iyak. Inayos ko ang konting kalat ng mascara sa gilid ng mata ko at nag-retouch.
I won't let them see me in this kind of situation. Over my dead body.
Lumabas ako at nagulat ako nang makitang nasa labas rin si Andrex. Nang makita niya ako ay agad niya akong nilapitan.
"Okay ka lang?" he asked.
I unconsciously nodded.
"O-Oo naman, i am fine... i'm fine." sagot ko.
"I know you're hurting, Chloe. Binalaan na kita." mariing sambit niya.
"I said i'm fine, Andrex. You don't have to worry about me, i can handle myself." sabi ko pa.
He sighed.
"Break up with him."
Nagulat ako.
"A-Ano? why would i do that? He's just talking with his ex, w-wala namang problema saakin iyon."
"Just break up with him--"
Pero bago pa niya natapos ang kaniyang sasabihin ay bigla na lang sumulpot si Drexzel at agad siyang tinapunan ng suntok. Hindi naman nagpatalo si Andrex at ginantihan rin si Drexzel ng suntok.
"Stop it! Ano ba!" i yelled.
May mga lumapit pero nakikichismis lang at pinapanuod ang dalawa na magkasakitan.
Stupid useless people!
I tried to stop them pero natatakot rin akong masuntok nila.
Mabuti na lang at dumating sina kuya at iba pa. They pulled them away to each other.
"Why are you asking her to break up with me, huh! Aagawin mo!" galit na sigaw ni Drexzel.
"Drexzel ano ba! putangina mo!" sigaw ni kuya.
"Alam mo kung bakit! Huwag mong hintayin na sabihin ko sakanilang lahat dito!" sigaw ni Rex.
Mas lalong nagalit si Drexzel at inambahang susuntuking muli ang kapatid pero agad siyang hinila pabalik nina Kairo at Priam. Dumating si Samantha kaya naagaw niya ang atensyon ko. Her brows are furrowed.
"Drexzel..." tawag niya kay Drexzel.
My lips parted when i saw how Drexzel calmed. With just one call of his name, kumalma siya. Pero kanina kahit anong sigaw ko, wala...
Tangina...
Napailing ako. I walked out, i want out from here. Nang makalabas ako akmang papara ako ng taxi nang biglang may mahigpit na kamay na hinigit ako.
Si Drexzel...
"Where you going?" he asked, with his face frowning.
"Uuwi na ako." i uttered.
"Bakit ka uuwi? The party is not yet over." mariing sambit niya.
Umiling ako.
"I'm tired, i want to rest." i said.
His hand slowly loosened. He sighed and licked his lower lips.
"Alright, uuwi na tayo."
"No. Kaya kong umuwi mag-isa, they need you here." she needs you here...
"Ihahatid ko siya."
Natigilan kaming pareho nang makita si Andrex papalapit saamin. Drexzel put me on his back, as if he's protecting me from his brother.
"Stay away from her, i am warning you." mariing sambit ni Drexzel.
Andrex grinned.
"You're confused aren't you? Huwag kang mag-alala wala akong sasabihin."
They have this certain topic na silang dalawa lang ang nagkakaintindihan. Hindi ko alam kung ano iyon, o kung bibigyan man ako nang pagkakataong malaman iyon, papakinggan ko ba? Hindi ko alam.
"Ako na maghahatid sakaniya." wika ni Rex.
"No."
"Sige na, Drexzel. Hayaan mo na siyang ihatid ako, i badly need to rest." tipid akong ngumiti sakaniya.
His lips parted.
"Y-You're choosing him over me?" he said in disbelief.
I immediately shook my head.
"I just need to rest, please." pagod kong sambit sakaniya.
His jaw clenched.
"Okay, we'll talk when i get home. Text me." mariing sambit niya.
Tumango na lang ako. Finally, hinayaan niya akong sumama kay Andrex pero nanatili ang matalim niyang mata saamin. Andrex brought me to his car, nanatili naman ang mata ko kay Drexzel na nanunuod lang saamin hanggang sa makaalis kami nang tuluyan.
Tahimik lang kami buong byahe. I was silently watching the lamp post passes by. I'm just really tired for tonight, physically, mentally and emotionally. Naiwan ko pa tuloy si Marie doon.
But i am sure she can handle herself.
"He's a great pretender, Chloe." Andrex spoke.
Dahan-dahan akong lumingon sakaniya at umiling.
"You always warn me about your brother, it seems like you know something that i don't know, bakit hindi mo sabihin saakin nang diretso para tapos na."
"It's not my business."
"But you always meddle, bakit hindi mo na lang sabihin?"
"I... I can't."
I grinned and shook my head.
"Ang labo niyong magkapatid."
Hindi na ako umimik hanggang sa makarating kami sa hotel. Hindi na rin ako nagpahatid sa taas, nagpasalamat na lang ako at diretsong pumasok.
Nang makarating sa penthouse ay dumiretso ako sa kwarto at sinalampak ang sarili sa kama.
Samantha...
The way he mention her name, iba sa paraan niya ako tawagin. It was all clear to me, but people who are in love becomes stupid, blinded by their love. Kahit alam na nila ang katotohanan, mananatili pa rin sila dahil mahal nila.
Is that right? I don't think so.
Nakatulugan ko ang pag-iisip at nagising nang marinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto ng kwarto ko.
"You didn't change your clothes before you sleep." kunot noo niyang sambit.
"I'm too tired to change."
Umayos ako at umupo sa kama. Naglakad naman siya palapit saakin at umupo sa tabi ko.
"Tapos na ang party?" i asked.
"Yeah." sagot niya nang nakatingin saakin nang mariin.
"What?"
"I didn't like what you did earlier." sambit niya.
"What did i do?" takang tanong ko.
He gulped.
"Hindi ko nagustuhan ang pagsama mo sa kapatid ko, as if you are choosing him over me." wika niya.
Napangisi ako.
"Pagod nga kasi ako kaya ako sumama."
"When you can go with me instead." he frowned.
"It's your birthday..."
"Exactly! It's my birthday then you are with him?" simangot niya.
Ngumisi lang ako sakaniya. Kung darating man ang araw na kailangan ko siyang palayain, he should stop acting this way. Mahihirapan ako kung sakali.
I sighed. The heavy feeling on my chest didn't leave, i want to ask him questions pero natatakot ako sa magiging sagot niya. Handa na ba ako kung sakali?
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
"About that girl." i said bluntly, pertaining to Samantha.
"Samantha?"
Tumango ako.
"What about her?" malamig niyang sambit.
"She's your ex, right?" i asked.
He frowned.
"Yes, s-so what?"
So what? But you're stuttering. Napapailing na lang ako sa sarili kong isip. I sighed.
"Wala naman, i'm just asking." sambit ko.
He sighed. Then his phone rang, agad niyang tinignan kung sino ang tumatawag. Natigilan siya at saglit na sumulyap saakin bago sinagot ang tawag. He stood up and went out.
Tumayo rin ako at palihim na pinakinggan kung sino ang kausap niya.
"Samantha, yes?"
Mapait akong napangiti. I knew it.
"Where are you?"
Napakunot ang noo ko. Why? Aalis pa siya? Bakit? Kay Samantha?
"Alright, i'll be there."
Agad akong tumakbo pabalik sa kama ko. I acted like i didn't do anything, as if i knew nothing.
"I'm... going out."
I tried to compose myself.
"Saan?" i asked.
"Sa banda, may gagawin kami."
Para akong binagsakan ng yelo. He's lying. I thought sasabihin niya ang totoo but hearing him lying? I tried myself not to feel mad.
"O-Okay."
Tumango siya at tumakbo na. And i was left here... alone. Hindi ko alam bakit kailangan niya pang magsinungaling? Iniisip niya na ba na i won't understand him?
I bit my lower lips, refraining myself to cry. Tama na, ayoko na umiyak. But my tears betrayed me.
Nakakatawa dahil noong una dapat crush ko lang siya eh? what happened? fuck.
How much i hate liars...
Kinaumagahan ay may pasok na ulit. But i am too devastated to go to school but i have no choice. Naghanda na akong pumasok. Lumabas na ako at saktong paglabas niya din. Kakagising niya lang.
"Good morning." bati niya.
Tipid akong ngumiti.
"Morning." i greeted. "Uhm, mauuna na akong pumasok."
His brows furrowed.
"Why? Hintay mo na ako, sabay tayong papasok."
"Hindi na, malelate na ako. Bye."
Nagmadali akong lumabas, nagpara agad ako ng taxi papuntang university. Mabuti na lang ay may allowance akong binigay ni mommy noong nakaraang punta namin dahil kung wala, baka naglakad na ako.
My phone vibrated. Agad kong kinuha iyon at tinignan kung sino ang nagtext. It was him.
Drexzel:
Are you mad at me?
I sighed. Nagtipa agad ako ng reply ko sakaniya.
Ako:
Hindi, ayoko lang ma-late. Ingat ka.
I turn my phone off.
My heart is aching so bad and it's not healthy anymore. When i arrived, nagbayad ako at pumasok sa loob ng campus.
"Kumusta kagabi?" Marie asked as i reached the room.
I sighed heavily.
"I think he's still in love with that Samantha girl." sambit ko.
Her brows furrowed.
"Talaga? Mukhang mahal ka rin naman niya, i can see it." wika ni Marie.
Napailing ako. That's impossible. People can't love two people at the same time, i mean romantically. Kung mahal mo talaga iyong isa, bakit may pangalawa?
Sometimes, people make things complicated. When you are unsure, huwag mo na gambalain ang taong nananahimik tapos papasok ka sa buhay nila para lang guluhin.
Yes, i was the one who fell first but i never asked him to love me back, i was contented with what we have before this relationship. Tapos ngayong nasa isang relasyon na nga kami, mas lalo lang akong nasasaktan ngayong nandito kami sa sitwasyon na 'to.
Sana hindi na lang pala kung ganito kasakit...
Magkasama kaming maglunch ni Marie after class and i didn't expect that Drexzel will come over and glare at me menacingly.
"A-Anong ginagawa mo rito?"
Nasa cafeteria kami. Agaw pansin dahil sikat siya rito sa campus.
"What do you think?" he said grimly.
Sinenyasan ako ni Marie na makipag-usap sakaniya. I sighed. Tumayo ako at sumama kay Drexzel sa labas, we walked until we reached the empty soccerfield.
"You are not answering my calls." mariing sambit niya.
"My phone's off."
"Then why did you turn it off!" tumaas ang boses niya.
Pati ako ay nadadamay sa init ng ulo niya. He's acting as if he did nothing. Tangina, mas lalong nakakagago.
"Tell me what's your problem!" singhal niya.
I sighed violently.
"Fine!" singhal ko. "Tell me where did you go last night?"
Please don't lie...
"Sa banda, hindi ba't sinabi ko na sa'yo iyon?" he frowned.
Now this is bullshit!
"You liar! I heared you talking with your ex on your goddamn phone! Huwag mong sabihing nabingi lang ako?"
I don't want to be a nagger but this is too much. He was caught-off guard.
"It was nothing..." ngayong mahinahon na siyang sumagot.
"See? You even admitted it now, pero nagsinungaling ka? bakit, huh?" galit kong sambit.
"I'm sorry." nakayukong sambit niya.
Bumagsak ang luha sa mata ko. I pressed my lips together, stopping myself to sob.
"Maiitindihan ko naman eh..." i cried.
"I'm sorry." he muttered.
Pero natigil ang luha ko nang makita ko ang kapatid kong mabibigat ang bawat lakad patungo sa direksyon namin. With just a blink of an eye, Drexzel fell to the floor.
To be continued.