“Nothing on Black? At all?” Saphira asked with a bit of trepidation a few weeks later. She had pulled her blonde tendrils back away from her face using an ornate hair-clip. Severus frowned as he turned to his oldest friend.
“No, Lea,’’ Severus replied as Saphira frowned. She sighed as she let the scroll she had been reading roll up. The teacher’s lounge was oddly empty after dinner one night. Severus and Saphira were sitting across from one another as they attempted to grade the multiple potions assignments that Severus had assigned earlier that week. Severus pushed his ebony hair away from his face as he quietly studied his friend. She seemed to fit in well among the teachers at Hogwarts. She was got along better than he thought she would. Of course, she didn’t spend much time with them. Between helping him and being Hagrid’s assistant, she barely had time to truly socialize.
“This whole waiting -for-the-enemy-to-strike plan bothers me, Severus,” she mumbled as she leaned back in her chair.
“What would your plan be?”
“Easy. I use Potter as bait and then confront him!” Saphira replied easily. Severus chuckled.
“And if Potter was hurt?”
“Then he shouldn’t look like his bloody father,” Saphira rebutted jokingly. She sighed as she looked toward the only clock in the massive room. They’d only been there for an hour or two, but she was exhausted. Being a teacher was hard work. As a student, she only had to worry about what she was doing. As a teacher, she had to worry about what all of the students were doing. It was energy draining, to say the least. She couldn’t understand how Severus looked the same at all times. She was sure she looked ragged by fifth period.
“Have you been sleeping, Lea?” Severus asked when he took notice of the faint dark circles underneath his friend’s eyes. Saphira looked up before sighing.
“Yes, but this whole being a teacher thing is exhausting,” Saphira answered truthfully. Severus chuckled.
“You’re only an assistant,” he remarked. Saphira scoffed.
“With Hagrid, I might as well be the teacher. Honestly, that man only has two settings. Dangerous and more dangerous,” she replied truthfully. After the hippogriff incident she had hoped he would dial back, but no. Hagrid had brought forth another dangerous creature. Wood nymphs.
“What was it today?” Severus asked as he failed the current essay he was reading.
“Wood nymphs! Can you believe him? Those creatures don’t like people, much less students prodding at them and their homes!” Saphira exclaimed. Severus chuckled.
“So who didn’t you have to save today?” He asked.
“Potter and his friends, and surprisingly enough, Longbottom, but everyone else I had to rescue. It’s exhausting merely being that man’s assistant. What was Dumbledore thinking making him into the Care of Magical Creatures teacher?” Saphira mumbled as Severus shrugged his shoulders.
“Lea, no one knows what goes through the mind of Albus Dumbledore,” Severus replied as Saphira sighed.
“I think someone should. You know, sometimes, I think we’re just puppets to him,” she remarked quietly. Severus frowned. He trusted Dumbledore with the very fiber of his being, but he knew Saphira trusted no one but him.
“I’m sorry if I upset you, Severus. I know how you feel about him,” Saphira quickly amended her earlier blunder. Severus shook his head, signaling for her not to worry.
“You’ve always had your opinion, Lea,” Severus excused as Saphira sighed. Halloween was coming up over the weekend. It was also the first Hogsmeade trip of the year.
“Potter can’t go to Hogsmeade, can he?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” Severus answered as he failed yet another student. He furrowed his eyebrows at the inaccuracy of the essay he was reading. From the hasty script, it appeared the student had woken up and forgot about the essay until breakfast. They had then decided to recite random facts from their textbook.
“Hmph, at least he will be miserable,” Saphira commented as she climbed to her feet and stretched.
“I’m going to head on to bed, Severus. Don’t fail every student,” she remarked as she bent down and pressed her lips to the top of his head. Severus smirked.
“Don’t tempt me,” he replied as Saphira giggled. Severus watched her leave him alone and he frowned.
**
“I hate Halloween,” Saphira commented Halloween morning. Severus turned to her with a quirked eyebrow.
“Why?”
“Obviously because it’s a stupid holiday. There’s also that incredibly annoying Peeves, and those Weasley twins!” Saphira replied darkly. She glared down the table at Remus who smiled at her.
“And those miserable Marauders had used it as an excuse to torture poor unsuspecting students,” she reminded him as she folded her arms across her chest. Severus chuckled.
“Yet, you are dressed up,” he remarked as his eyes skimmed over her form. Her blonde tresses were curled and pulled back from her face. A gold tiara encircled her head and she was wearing a light green Romanesque dress. She reminded him of Helen of Troy.
“Shut up,” she replied as the bangles on her wrists jingled with her movements. He chuckled as he turned back to his food. In honesty, Saphira dressed up because it made her think of Sirius. However, she’d never tell Severus this. When breakfast was over, Saphira frowned as she looked at the clock.
“The students’ Hogsmeade trip is today, isn’t it?” She asked as Severus nodded. He turned to Saphira, surprised she had forgotten such a monumental date. After all, it was the first time Draco would leave the castle on his own.
“I meant to talk to Lupin before today,” she mumbled more to herself than her companion. Severus’s eyes widened at her words.
“You were planning on talking to Lupin?” He questioned. Saphira looked up at him with a flash of guilt.
“Oh, yeah. He wanted to talk about something,” she answered, unsure if her answer would appease her friend. Severus frowned.
“Lea, I don’t think…”
“I’ll be fine, Severus. What harm can come of it?”
**
Saphira cursed as she sat across from Remus Lupin in his office.
“I know this is extremely awkward for you, Professor,” Remus remarked after an long bout of silence. Saphira frowned as she folded her arms across her chest.
“Awkward for me? It’s awkward for both of us, Lupin and you know it,” Saphira replied darkly. Remus chuckled.
“Yes, I suppose it is,” he conceded easily. Saphira rolled her eyes. She had never been formally introduced to Remus Lupin in their schooldays, but due to his friendship with James Potter and Sirius Black, she had learned who he was…eventually. It literally took her five years. She had only heard them call him a ridiculous nickname, Moony. She never did learn where the nickname originated.
“So why did you want to talk to me?” Saphira asked, ready to leave.
“It’s about Sirius,” his voice quieted as Saphira froze in her seat. Her blue eyes widened exponentially as Remus looked at his hands which were folded on the top of his desk.
“What about him?” Saphira hissed after a few seconds of intense silence.
“I’ve always been curious about if you knew about…”
“If I knew he would betray Potter and Evans and kill Pettigrew?” Saphira growled when she saw the accusation flash briefly across his scarred features. Remus looked guilty when he heard her said it aloud.
“No, I didn’t know. I was much too busy becoming a widow to worry with Sirius,” Saphira responded dejectedly as she thought of the months leading to Sirius’ betrayal and Voldemort’s downfall.
“I had heard, but…”
“It doesn’t matter, Lupin. Are we done talking?”
“He loved you, Saphira,” Remus remarked suddenly as Saphira glared at him.
“Yes, like he loved Potter and Evans?” She replied bitterly as she climbed to her feet. Remus stood with her.
“When James told him you were pregnant, you should’ve seen him,” Remus started as Saphira frowned.
“I miscarried, so it doesn’t matter now,” she hissed before storming out of the classroom. Tears stung her eyes but she fought them back. He had dredged up painful memories and her entire body trembled as she fought to control herself until she reached Severus’s office. It was empty, but it didn’t matter. She fell against the closed door and let her tears fall freely down her cheeks. Her happily ever after had been stolen from her in more ways than one and it had left a gaping wound that refused to heal. Severus soothed the edges, but Saphira knew no one but Sirius Black could ever fill it. A fresh round of tears fell as she realized this.
“I’m never meant to be happy,” she mumbled dejectedly as she buried her face in her hands.
“Lea?” Saphira looked up in surprise when she saw Severus seemingly appear from behind his bookshelf. She knew it was an illusion that hid the entrance to his quarters. Severus bent down in front of the blonde as she rushed to wipe her tears away from her red cheeks.
“Lea, what happened?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Saphira replied darkly.
“Lupin did something didn’t he?” Severus growled as he clenched his fists at his side. Saphira quickly shook her head, afraid her friend would do something drastic.
“No, no. It’s just…he made me realize how truly empty my life has become,” Saphira admitted softly.
“Without Sirius.”