We said our goodbyes to the crew. We're already in front of Calum and Michael's flat, discussing about the night. We were out for about three hours until it was decided that there were enough shots for them to produce a good documentary so we could now take a rest.
"Wow, I haven't walked that far since midschool." Michael started strecthing his back.
"Susej, Mikey, you sound like an old man." Calum commented. He was carrying Summer again, letting her be carried by Michael earlier once before taking her back immediately.
I opened the flat's door because they were all still busy talking about the fans they met. I was surprised to see that the living room was dark as I clearly remembered that we left the lights on. I was about to turn and ask the lads about it when a candle on the coffee table caught my attention. Before my hand could even reach for the light switch, someone tried to guide me away from it and closed the door.
"What the hell, guys?" My throat tightened. Are they scaring me because it was supposed to be halloween? Susej.
"Shush." Calum's familiar voice hushed me, making me want to punch him.
I was about to pull my phone and turn the flash on when I stopped. Jack Barakat was walking towards me with another small candle eluminating Alex, Zack, Rian, and his own face. I almost choked when I realised that the candle was actually placed on a cake.
Before they could even come near me, I started sobbing, all the puzzle pieces coming together. Christ, I didn't see this coming.
"Happy birthday, Reev." They all greeted me quietly when they stopped in front of me. I couldn't believe it. All Time Low is here. They even greeted me while holding a cake. What in the world?
As my vision started to get blurry from tears, someone turned the lights on. When it did, I saw that the flat was turned into a party place. A table was set in the middle and it was filled with different foods and goodies. There were also balloons and silly strings in different places and a 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REEV' made by different coloured papers was placed on the wall.
"Ugh, you idiots." I turned around and saw the lads with Summer watching me with a grin. They obviously planned this! And I realised why Summer was quiet: they gave her a sweet to eat! I found out that Marga would take care of Summer for the night in Luke and Ashton's flat. The noise wouldn't let her sleep.
"Happy birthday, Reev!" they all greeted in unison. I couldn't help but sob again. I hated surprises.
Jack was laughing when he offered me my cake. "Make a wish?"
I sniffed loudly before obliging. What did I wish for? Honestly, I didn't know at first what I should wish for. I haven't blown a candle for a long time. But after a while, I settled with one wish: happiness.
After I blew my candle, the music played and the party officially started. Though, there wasn't any dancing happening, the music seemed to lift everybody's moods more. Luke made me meet the ATL lads officially, making me hug them and exchange some quick jokes. Rian informed me that after Jack followed me on Twitter. Luke and Ashton called them and asked if they could at least join us to party as according to them, I was such a huge fan. I couldn't help but feel flattered. They were as comical and mischievous as I thought them to be, but, when it came to music, I saw the passion in their eyes. Then they started offering me advices. By the time Michael offered them to eat, we were all discussing the possibility of co-writing together, especially when they found out that I write, too. I freaking died. Alex mentioned about this company that builded up composers and sell the pieces to different artists.
"It does make a great money but to be honest, I'd rather see you make it to spotlight—a lyrical genius with her guitar. How does that sound?" He smiled at me and I freaking died AGAIN. I told him that would be better than selling my words.
"Just don't follow Taylor Swift's career path. You should be punk rock like us." Rian joked and Ashton protested.
"Reev and I are big Swifties. Shut your mouth." The room was filled with more laughter.
I was watching Jack throw a candy for Michael to catch with his mouth when a familiar voice whispered behind me. "Happy birthday, Reev."
I turned and saw a familiar face, making me almost scream in delight. "Holy crap, Sky! Susej, you're here!"
Sky laughed out loud and offered a hug which I accepted. I didn't know that she was in contact with Ashton! "I missed you, Reev. It's been so long."
"I'm so sorry I never contacted you."
Sky shook her head. Just like before, she was as understanding as ever. "I understand, Reev. Let's not talk about that on your birthday, shall we?"
I nodded. "Okay, sorry. Anyway, it's good that Ashton contacted you. A familiar face is such a great gift!"
Sky chuckled and blushed, confusing me a little. "Oh, Ashton didn't. Michael did. We're dating."
"You what?!" I choked. Sky? Michael? Dating? How come I never knew Michael was dating someone?
Sky nodded and stole a quick glance to Michael who was goofing around with the ATL lads. "You see, Ashton introduced me to them when he joined the band. I had a huge crush with Mike."
I couldn't help but laugh. They were the cutest. I was amazed how they managed to keep it quiet! "I never knew Michael was dating someone. But this is incredible! So how did you two managed to keep it a secret?"
"Oh, Samara was helping me." She nudged to the direction to Calum's room. I didn't realised that Calum wasn't around. "Fans know her and Cal dates. So Mikey and I double dates with them. We wanted to have some privacy."
I nodded. That was actually clever. Before I could reply, another girl joined us. Though her mood was a little dark, she was smiling so I wasn't sure.
"Happy birthday, Reev! I've heard so many things about you!" she greeted and pecked my cheek. "I'm Samara."
"Oh, hi! Cal told me about you!" I smiled. "Well, a few things. He's incredibly private and annoying."
Samara laughed. "I agree with that. He's a pain in the butt."
Then we all started sharing experiences with the lads. Most particularly, the funny ones. They were a lot. Samara told so many ridiculous adventures and annoying tales she had with the lads which were now quite funny. They were telling me on how the lads tried to plan this surprise birthday party but messing it up.
"God," Samara sighed exasperatedly. "They made handwritten invitations! Do you know how much my eyes twitched upon seeing them? Hideous! Obviously made by a guy! They were all just 'we're punk rock' that I almost smacked them. They even wanted to wear children's hats! For heaven's sake, it was looking like a kid's party! And when they tried to cook the food? Gosh, it was so horrible! I'm telling you Reev, they couldn't plan a propert party. Honestly. It was all such a mess. I mean, it was sweet that they wanted to do it themselves but you could have died with Luke's cooking."
I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Imagining the lads doing those things are beyond amazing. It was hilarious, but, it was actually sweet, too. Knowing that they tried their best was already a gift to me.
Before Sky could even add a few more details, Michael called for us. When we were all settled, Michael started to talk. "Reev, I know we always do the most annoying things and you still bear it with us. It's incredible that you trust us about yourself. We would be probably in jail if it weren't for you, and of course, Marga. God, we could have been poisoned Summer without us knowing. So, thank you for sticking with us. Thank you for taking care of Summer and, well, us. Happy birthday."
Before I knew it, I was already staring at the ceiling, trying to prevent my tears to fall. This was supposed to be a happy event so I shouldn't cry. But I was just too happy that it comes spilling from my body.
I almost lost it when Jack handed me an acoustic guitar. Their signatures were written with black ink on the small spot below the strings. I took my time to look at it and touch it. It was the color of light wood and it was so sleek. On the neck was my name 'River' written the same way I wrote my name. On the back of the neck, Ash, Cal, Luke, Mikey, and Summer's name were carved in, what I suspected, the same way they wrote their names—except for Summer which was written in cursive.
I wiped the tears that started to stream down on my cheeks. "God, this is the best gift I have ever received. Thank you. I honestly don't know what to say. You guys have been so amazing to me."
I locked eyes to each and every one of them, even the ATL lads! After for so long, I finally had a great memory of my birthday. I wanted to keep this happiness and bliss that I was feeling right now as long as possible.
"Sing a song, Reev." Sky smiled.
I did. The rest of the party turned to a singing session. God, the guitar sounded so beautiful. Or maybe I was just happy, but, it was so, so, so beautiful to my ears.
**
I was removing my make up and was about to change to my pjs when a soft knock on the door took my attention. It was Michael.
"Hey." I greeted with a smile.
He smiled back and started walking. "Hey. I just wanted to give you these." He was carrying a paper bag.
I frowned. "You already gave me a guitar."
Michael shrugged and handed me that bag. I shook my head but smiled and took it. "Thank you, Michael. This is too much already." I was surprised to see a Nintendo 3DS and a few games, particularly Pokemon ones. "Holy shite, Mikey. This is awesome. Wow. Thank you, Mikey."
Michael was smiling so hard when I thanked him. "Well, I noticed you haven't been able to play for a while. That's a great stress reliever. I know how much you wanted to get that."
I smiled widely. "Thank you."
Michael smiled back at me before retreating the room slowly. I stared at his gift. He was really thoughtful in his own way.
I already put away his gift when another soft voice almost startled me. It was Luke. "I thought I was the only one who got you a gift."
"You what?" Seriously, why are they so kind to me?
Luke chuckled then showed me another paper bag. He started walking and sat at the edge of the bed, patting the space beside him, making me sit so I did. "Honestly, I didn't know what to get you. I pestered Ashton for days for a list of your favourite bands. I only know a few."
"Please, Luke. The tension is killing me." I laughed. "I'm torn whether to stranggle you and Michael or hug you."
"Just give us some love." He chuckled then took something from the paper bag. It was a stack... of pictures? It is! "I got autographs of your favourite bands. Some of them, anyway. I couldn't reach the others but that was why I didn't hang around yesterday. Some even gave you signed merchs!"
"But Luke! OH MY GOD! I love it!" I almost shrieked so I placed my hand on my mouth. Then, I just smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you, Luke. I never could afford meet and greets or go as a VIP in any concert."
"Well then, you'll always be a VIP in our concerts. Also," he added. Also what? "I got you this because, honestly, I don't know what to get you, but, I remembered you when I saw this." He pulled a black velvet box and opened it before I could even react. It was a necklace with a small G-clef that was roughly cut for a pendant. "You don't need to wear it or anything, but..."
I smiled. "I love it." I really did. Growing up after my parents died, I was never the one to receive such gifts. Often times, they reminded me of my parents. But, being with Summer, being with these lads, and after what they did just to surprise me, I realised how thoughtful they were. Isn't it amazing how someone can look at a simple thing and think of you?
"You want me to wear it to you?" Luke offered while playing with the hem of his clothes. I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Sure." I told him and turned around.
Luke grinned widely and took the necklace so he could place it on my neck. Cold hands swept my hair slowly, working the locks of the necklace delicately. A vague feeling of déjà vu made my chest tight but before I could react to it, Luke was done so I faced him again. "There. Looks good." He whispered, glancing at Summer who was sleeping soundly.
"Thank you again."
Luke smiled and cocked his head sideways. "It's our pleasure, Reev. Happy birthday again."
I watched him without a word as he left the room. In some weird, twisted kind of way, Summer and the lads have been a blessing to me. Going back to the day we all first met, no one would have thought we'll end up here.
I was about to close the bedroom door when I heard a bottle of beer clinking with other more. Someone was still awake? The party had ended almost an hour ago and it's already cold and dark outside the bedrooms. It made me curious who was at the living room as according to what happened earlier, Michael would be sleeping with Sky in Luke's room, Calum would be with Samara in Ashton's, and Ashton and Luke would be sleeping at Calum's room. So, who?
Tiptoeing my way out, I was surprised to see Calum by the sundeck, watching the night sky. His face was expressionless but he was surrounded with dark vibes and cold beers. Though I didn't want to meddle with his personal problems, I couldn't help but walk closer. This was the most unguarded Calum I have ever seen and it made me want to console him. Most days, Calum and I just sassed each other and laughed at the other's joke but, he have his moments when you could see a portion of his soul.
"Cal?" I called out quietly, trying not to startle him. It worked. Or maybe he had already sensed me. "Weren't you supposed to be at Luke's?"
He didn't looked at me. Instead, he just realigned the bottles on the side. I was almost startled when he spoke because there were no tinge of humour on his tone which he usually has—except that night when he found my scars.
"It's so hard, Reev." He said, but before I could ask what was, he continued. "It's so fucking hard. I'm trying my best but it's never enough."
I couldn't speak. What words could I offer? When I myself didn't even try?
But Calum didn't wait for me to speak. Maybe he just needed to let this go. "I love Samara, Reev. I may be an arse sometimes, insensitive, but, I try so hard to be what she needs even though I can't always be with her. I just want her to be happy. Can't I live my dream and have the girl? Why is life such a fucking mess?"
I took the space in front of Calum and stared at him. "I don't know, Cal. You tried. I didn't. I left as soon as I could, chasing dull lights with high hopes. What I know is, life really is a fucking mess but there's nothing we can do about it. It will always be an arse."
Calum gave me a humourless laugh and shook his head. I couldn't help but be curious. They looked so happy earlier. "What happened, Cal?"
Cal shrugged lifelessly but he did answer. "Life happened, Reev. We're drifting apart. We're doing our best, yes, but, we're growing separately. Long distance is never easy, we know that, but with my lifestyle and job, and her attending uni and following her dreams, time became so hard to keep with. So life happened."
I glanced at the dark sky. I know how hard it was when life decided that you've been happy enough and it's time to get some payment. "I'm sorry, Cal. I can never tell you the right words. What are the right words, anyway? Heck, you are brave to take a risk. I was a stupid girl, but, one thing that I know is, life won't always fuck you up."
For a moment, we stayed quiet. I wanted to be there for Calum just the way he was there when he saw my scars but, it might be good to leave him be for now. Reaching and squeezing his hand slightly, I slowly rose and headed for my bedroom with Summer.
A black thick journal was placed beside the albums and pictures Luke had given me, indicating that someone had entered. My heart skipped a beat, but, before I could even react, I reached for the journal. It was leather and new but it seems to have so many things inside.
Opening it gingerly, I found myself staring at my handwritting. Flipping the pages, all our letters, pictures, and even my songs were on this journal.
Ashton.
I turned and almost ran to the door, opening it in a hurry, just to find myself looking at Calum who was about to knock. "Oh," I breathed in surprise. "Cal."
Cal, who looked as surprised as me, handed me a light rim of papers. I looked at them and saw lines. Above the lines, 'Title', 'Music: River Stone' and 'Lyrics: River Stone' were written. It was after a moment until it hit me: it was a gift.
"You can't be a musician without music sheet, right?" he was grinning, though it didn't reach his eyes. "I hope you like it. The last sheet is a gift from Michael and me. I hope you won't mind if we add it in our next album. Happy birthday, Reev."
Before I could say anything, Calum started to walk away, leaving me standing at the hallway. Gathering my thoughts, I hugged both the journal and the papers in my chest while I watched as Calum took the couch. Taking a deep breath, I glanced at Calum's—Ashton and Luke's for tonight—room, but, it was as quiet as the night. Shaking my head, I walked back inside my bedroom. Like before, Ashton and I didn't play with timing right.
Placing the gifts they had given me on the side of the room, which I declared my side, I remembered what Calum said. The last sheet is a gift from Michael and me.
Pulling it out from the stack, I stopped and stared at it. It was a song. A song that quite soothes my heart and soul. God, they see through me.
I smiled at myself and made sure to place it in my things where it wouldn't get ruined. I was already getting ready for bed but I could still see their penmanship in my mind. It was as if what I wanted to hear was given to me. Finally, the verse that Calum gave me that night he found me was complete. They called it 'Jet Black Heart'.
**
A/N: I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T POST THE UPDATE LAST WEEK. There were so many things happening that I forgot that it was a sunday! Hahaha. Hope you guys enjoy this though! :) xxx - Ju