"Thanks, Milwaukee! You've been class!" I shouted into the microphone with as much enthusiasm as I could muster up, waving to the thunderous crowd who didn't seem to notice how fake I was acting.
It wasn't their faults that I had been in a shit mood lately, so I wanted to put on an excited facade at least while on stage for them. Yet as soon as I joined the lads backstage, I went right back to feeling sorry for myself. Sure, it was a little ridiculous, but could you blame me? I mean, bloody hell, it was one thing to see one of your best mates cuddled up and snogging with his girlfriend all night but it was another thing when his girlfriend happened to be the girl you fancy's best mate. Some of the things that came out of Maddie's mouth sounded exactly like Kat and it drove me bloody mad.
And Bob...Christ, don't even get me started on Bob. Sure, I loved the lad but did he have to act so fucking clueless? All week it had been "Van, why won't you speak to me?" "Van, lad, what did I do?"
As if he didn't know.
It was obvious Kat had fancied him. I mean, for God's sakes she was all over him while she had been staying with us. Now that she was gone, I didn't miss her being here. Seeing her throw back her brunette head with laughter because of something Bob had said made my stomach turn and I couldn't witness that anymore.
Christ, who am I fucking kidding. I missed her loads.
I missed how when she'd smile, her full cheeks would turn scarlet as she looked down at her feet, completely unaware of how stunning she actually was. I missed how whenever she'd do something confident, she'd shyly play it off even though it always made my heart pound in my chest. I craved for her small frame to be wrapped around mine again, and I wanted to feel her lips against mine, but for real this time.
"Van. Van!" Larry shook my shoulder.
"Fucking what, mate?!" I hollered, snapping back to reality.
"What the hell's been going on with you?" Larry asked. The boys all began to crowd around him, the same expressions all painted on their faces.
"What do you mean?" I shrugged, feigning confusion.
"You know exactly what I mean, lad. You've been on edge all week. Always snapping at someone. What's been bothering ya?"
"Nothin, Larry. Christ, I'm fine." I fought back, ending up yelling even though I hadn't meant to.
"We're just trying to make sure you're okay, mate." Bondy spoke up, lighting a fag and shoving it between his teeth.
"I'm fucking fine, lads! Just leave it!" I yelled, stomping as I exited the room, causing a scene. I was acting like a child, but I didn't care. I just didn't want to be bothered. I wanted to be left alone with my self pity at the fact that the girl I was slowly falling for loved somebody else.
A knock sounded on the bathroom door. I was unaware that I had even led myself in here, my mind escaping me as all I could think about was her.
"Van, mate?" It was Bob. The last person I wanted to see right now.
I got up from my position on the floor and opened the door a bit before turning around and sitting back down. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, running a hand through his voluminous curls.
"What do you want." I snapped. Bob had a hurt expression cross his face and instantly felt bad.
"Van...I'm really sorry. Truly. I don't know what I've done to make you so upset with me, but whatever it is, I'm sorry." He apologized sincerely, looking down at his shoes. Maybe he really didn't know what he did.
"You seriously don't know?" I scoffed. He shook his head. "Kat?" I pressed on, trying to hint to him what I meant.
"Wha..What does this have to do with Kate?" He asked, clearly confused.
"Don't play fucking dumb, Bob. You fancy her, and she fancies you." The words stung my throat as they escaped my mouth, but they had to be said. What surprised me was that his attitude took a total 180° as laughter escaped his pressed lips. "What? What's so fucking funny?" I grumbled, becoming even more pissed off with him.
"You...You think she fancies me?" He full-on guffawed, the laughter escaping him boisterous and obnoxious.
"Yes, mate. You two were all over each other the whole time she was here." I snarled.
"Van, mate. You're a proper idiot. I love you to death, but honestly, lad. She does not fancy me, and I certainly do not fancy her. We're just good friends, how can you not see how much she-" He begins to say, but he cuts himself off mid sentence.
"How much she what?" I asked, my heart rate increasing.
"Nothing, I shouldn't be saying anything. Just, trust me, alright lad? Call her, she'll explain everything." Bob sighed. I nodded as he turned the knob on the door, beginning to walk out.
"Oi, Bob?" I stopped him. He poked his head back in.
"I'm sorry for being an arse." I apologized, swallowing my pride.
"Thanks, Van." He smiled, shutting the door behind him.
•••
"Are you sure you don't want to come out for drinks, lad?" Bondy asked me, Maddie attached to his left hip. This was a regular occurrence now and we had all grown used to it.
"Yeah, mate. I just want a quiet night to myself. You guys go have fun." I smiled. I was in a much better mood now with the knowledge that Bob had left me with. Now at least I knew I had a slight chance with Kat. However, I needed answers, and I needed them soon.
As soon as the lot left the bus, I sat down and pulled out my phone. Suddenly, it hit me.
I didn't have her number.
I mentally cursed at myself for not getting it while she was here. I knew I had written mine in the record, but what if she hadn't found it? I tugged at my parted fringe, becoming frustrated with myself.
I decided I would ask Maddie for her number once she returned home and settled on taking a warm shower and making myself a cuppa for now. I tossed my phone onto my bed and walked down the short hall to the bathroom, stripping and stepping into the shower.
The hot water stung as it beat down onto my back, but I didn't care. Instead, thoughts of how lovely it would be if Kat were to join me right now clouded my mind. How her slender body looked under her clothes, how she would probably blush and try to cover herself up. I craved to touch her. Not sexually, in a sense. I just wanted to graze my hands over every inch of her body, feel her smooth skin under my rough, calloused hands.
Christ, I'm worse than I thought. What was wrong with me?
I snapped out of it, knowing these events had a slim to none chance of actually happening, no matter how bad I wanted them to.
I stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and ruffling it through my dripping wet hair. I tied it around my waist as I opened the bathroom door, the cold air a huge contrast to the hot and steamy bathroom.
"Fuck." I shivered. Goosebumps arose on my skin and I trotted down the hallway to the bunks so that I could get dressed before I froze to death. I heard the high pitched ringing of my phone as I pulled a pair of boxers and a shirt out from my duffel, slipping them on before I picked up the call. It was from an unknown number.
"Hello? Who is this?" I asked into the receiver.
"Van, I-It's Kate. I-I need help." Her voice trembled from the other end. She sounded as if she was about to burst into sobs. All of my anger and confusion towards her melted away, worry replacing it.
"Kat, love, what's wrong?" A sinking feeling settled into my gut.
"I-I just...I tried calling Maddie but she didn't pick up and I didn't know who else to call. I read your note..." She whispered.
"Yeah, they're all out at a pub. I was knackered, though, and decided to stay in." I explained. She didn't say anything in reply.
Not a good sign.
"What's wrong, love? Are you alright?" I continued. Finally, she broke. Heavy sobs came through from the other end and I heard her gasping for air. It frightened me, and all I wanted was to be there with her, comforting her and holding her close to my chest.
"Shh, Kat, it's alright. Breathe, love, it'll be okay." I whispered into the phone, attempting to calm her down but instead feeling silly.
"I-I shouldn't have called. You wouldn't understand, I'm...I'm sorry to bother you." She croaked.
"Kat! Wait-" And with that, she hung up. I threw my phone against the wall, gripping the roots of my hair.
My stomach turned and I felt as if I was going to be sick. I still didn't have any answers and now she was gone.
Again.
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hope you all enjoyed another van chapter!!
have a lovely day xx