Fact 2:
Depression is a leading cause of disability.
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I walk under through the rain with my head down as tears fell from my eyes blending in with the water. Same feeling I can't shake I like to walk it's peaceful, it makes me forget just for a little while, that's the only time I don't have to feel hated on or sad. Rain tickle down my face colliding with my tears.
Every single day I drag myself off to bed to get up and start a new day. I sometimes think what's the point but than I then think of my dad, he needs me more than anything at the moment. I always tell myself, 'Some day things will get better, some day you won't feel sad anymore' I tell myself that so I can get through the day.
I enter the house soaking wet, I drop my bag in the door step taking my jacket off. I shook my head pulling it up into a messy pony tail.I stand by the door for a moment trying to stop the tears from falling down. This is what I do everyday, so I can face my dad with a fake smile convincing him I'm ok.
I walk into my dads room and everytime it breaks my heart little by little until there is nothing left because to see my dad lying in his bed so fragile and weak. To see the only person that loves me and is always there no matter what causes a painful gut crunching feeling. I stay strong for him and this is how I get through my life, for him. I enter the cold room walking up to him quietly his skin sickly pale, he lost weight his face sunken slightly but when his eyes flutter open giving me a smile like he doesn't feel the pain makes me grin at his strength and will.
"Hi dad" I smiled.
"Hi angel" He greet as usual.
I bit my lip trying not to cry forcing myself to be brave for him. My dad is fighting cancer for a year now and it hurts that he can't beat it this time. He gave up treatment, it was making him even more weaker if he keeps going with the treatment. He doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in a hospital. He wants to spend it with me while he can. I went to my dads side and sat next to him holding out my hand.
"How are you feeling today?"
"Today has been good, the doctor came here and checked up on me." He squeezed my hand softly.
I look into his eyes and I can see how much he's suffering from the pain. I see the lie in his words just to make me feel better but it doesn't, it makes me feel worst. My dad is the only one I have and I'm losing him I can't say goodbye to him. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad is the only one I got. Without him I have no one.
"What did he say?" I ignore the painful way my throat tightens.
"He said....I only have only a few months left" He whispered.
I bit my lip keeping myself from frowning but tears fall down my eyes.
"No...you have to fight. I know you can do it, you have to keep going, you can dad please just-
"It's so hard trying to live like this Hailey." He breathes heavily trying to contain his tears. "There is no fight in me to keep going" Tears sprang in his eyes.
"You can't leave me" I cried in agony. "Not you too" My lips wobble.
Dad grab my hand and pull me against him hugging me as I sob on his chest clinging onto my dad.
"I love you so much" I broke into a sob.
"I love you too angel." I hear the strain way his voice broke and I knew he was crying too.
****
I spend my night crying myself to sleep like usual, I never thought anyone could cry this much everyday. Every now and than I get up and go to my dad's room and watch his heart monitor giving me peace watching it.
Morning came too soon, I yawned and drag my feet out off my bed moving slow because the slower I move the longer I put off the need to go school. I look at the mirror and stare at my red puffy eyes staring motionless at my reflection. The same broken girl that hates herself too much to even stare at myself. I put on my make-up covering the red rims under my eyes. I grab my a long sleeve to put under my shirt covering my cuts. I tied my hair up into a messy pony tail not even bothered.
"Things will get better" I look at myself in the mirror trying to encourage myself but the tears in my eyes betray me and saying those words became bitter and filled with lies.
I took a deep breath to start the day off, forcing myself to walk. I check on my dad, the nurse is already there feeding him.
"Morning Angel" He smiled brightly making me smile slightly.
"Hey dad, how are you feeling?" I walk up to him checking his heart beat.
"I'm doing fine sweetie, you need to stop stressing. My bestfriend from college is coming for a visit." He grin excitedly.
"Oh, really? You never told me who your bestfriend is." My eyebrows came together.
"Yeah we kind of fell out touch and grew apart. David will be coming and his family for dinner." I can hear the excitement in his voice and that made me happy to see him happy.
"That's great dad, that would be fun" I took his hand.
"Yeah it will, sweetie you better get going. You're already late" He look at his clock.
"Right...I'll see you later dad" I smiled giving him a small wave.
"Have fun Angel" He cough.
I sighed and hid my pained expression and walked slowly along the pavement. I twirl my locket around my finger, this locket is my mothers. It's a silver vintage and has a picture of her and my dad looking at each other madly in love. I wish I got to know my mom, even just for a little bit. The way my dad talks about her she seems so amazing. She helped my dad with alot of things that any other women would run away and abandoned him. She stood by him and never left his side, and I know that she's still looking after my dad. I never got to know you but I miss you.
I arrived in the empty halls, my footsteps echoed around the place. I walk up to my locker and look at my time table, I heard another foot step echoing. I look at the direction of where the sound is, there stood Jessica and her typical high school followers. I swallowed nervously squeezing my eyes shut at my bad luck.
"Well, well why is the freak show late??" She walk infront of me and her followers went on each side of me so I wont escape.
"I don't want any trouble, I just want to get to class." I look down avoiding their hatred cold eyes.
"Why? Don't you want to hang out with us?" I can hear the obvious sarcasm in her voice. "I haven't talked to you for awhile, I kind of miss you" I look at her seeing her roll her eyes and laugh.
I look from my side figuring out how to escape, I step a foot forward.
"Can you please move?" I mumbled.
They stood in place trapping me in here, I sighed controlling my breathing.
"What was that little mouse? You have to speak up." She taunts using the nickname that is suppose to mock me.
I close my eyes feeling my chest tighten trying to find courage to look at her in the eyes and tell her to back off and that I don't deserve to be treated this way. Whenever I look into her eyes I see pure hatred for me and I don't understand it.
"I'm just heading to class." I whispered tightening my hold on my books.
"Give me your home work" She open her hand for me to place it on her hand.
My eyebrows came in confusion because she never asked for my homework. Her face twisted in frustration seeing me not do anything so she grabbed my books and toss a few aside before stealing my homework. She then shove the hard calculus against my chest in so much force it made me stumble back but my foot didn't touch the floor instead I feel myself falling. My hips, knees and palms graze the hard ground as I stumble to the ground.
I groan ending up on the ground falling down seven steps that I didn't even know I stopped infront of.
"Oh my god that was priceless" Jessica laughed along with everyone else finding my pain amusing.
I hissed under my breath feeling my bruised butt and scraped elbow tears springing in my eyes. Picking myself up along with my dignity.
"Don't be so clumsy Hailey" She rolls her eyes blaming it all on me and pretending that she did not push me.
She then walked away leaving me feel worst then ever and it takes me awhile to move from the humiliating spot. Climbing up the steps and picking up my books is harder then I thought, each step had my joints protesting. Tears blind my vision at how pathetic I really am. A hand appear on my vision collecting my last book for me. I look up to find Skyler standing over me his eyebrows pulled together seeing my face.
"Are you okay?" He asked softly taking me by surprise.
I grabbed the book quickly from him not wanting to associate myself with him since he is the boyfriend of Jessica.
"Always" I force a smile wiping away my tears.
I straightened up but my back protested making me groan in pain stumbling forward. Skyler's hands shot towards me wrapping his arm around my waist to steady me.
"Shit what happened to you?" He scan my body looking for injuries.
"Nothing!" I spoke harshly trying to shove him off me but he only tightened his arms around me.
"I can see that" He rolled his eyes.
I push him away from me and straightened up grinding my teeth together to keep myself from screaming in pain. He narrow his eyes at me as if seeing the lie right through me.
"I'm fine Skyler just go" I spoke emotionless.
For a few seconds he stared at me deeply trying to search my face for answers and it's making me nervous the way he is looking at me. He then nodded and walked down the hallway and as soon he is gone I cling onto the wall tears running down my face.
Skyler's POV
I watch as she walk through the cafeteria like a complete zombie. People would bump into her and she wouldn't even do anything.
"Let's go baby" Her fake high-pitched voice ring my ears.
I felt guilty for not doing enough to stick up for her properly like I always do but yet I find myself wanting to protect her every time some asshole want to pick on her. Her eyes would look past me and I see the deep rooted sadness that lingers in the back of her mind never completely going away and I was drawn to it. Captivated by her because I understood that isolating pain she just doesn't realize it.
"What are you looking at?" Kris my best friend look over my shoulder "Oh." He sighed and continued shoving food on his over flowing tray. "It's really sad right?"
I nodded my eyes not leaving her watching her sit on her normal spot and stare blankly at her food.
"I really do feel sorry for her" He pat my shoulder. "Kids can be so cruel" He lectures like he never made a freshmen cry forcing him to carry his books the whole semester.
"We should sit on her table" I suggested.
"What? No way dude, I mean I have a reputation to keep." He laughed at me, "Are you feeling alright man?" He cock his head confused.
I shook my head at him and walk pass him walking towards the cafeteria. I sit in a big table which is full of popular kids. It's the typical life in high school, the geeks, the jocks, the popular people, goth, boring people, stoners and than the loners. I saw my table already filled with people, they look up and waved at me to sit down with them being loud and obnoxious. I sighed and sat on my regular spot forcing a smile on my face.
"You should have seen her pretty pathetic" Jessica chuckled reapplying her makeup for the hundredth times today.
"Seen what?" I asked sitting next to her.
"The way that stupid clumsy Hailey falling down the steps" She laughed almost proudly making my hands form into a fist hearing what happened to her.
"I only wish I recorded it" She sighed flicking her blond hair over her shoulders happily while people at our table laughed slightly.
I glared at her openly my anger surfacing. The girls in the table started talking crap about her for their amusement. Bringing her down to make their insecure self feel better. The guys agrees to some things they say about her but mostly all of them looked bored at the same old topic they talk about and I'm sick of it.
"Can you just all shut up! Stop talking about her like she is trash because compared to all of you she is the best person in this whole fucking school. Andrew the guy that stole from his parents to have a party for the weekend. Stacey the girl that stole her sister's fiance because of some self righteous act. Adam the guy that always pretend to fall in love with virgins and break up with them after you are done and let's not forget precious little Laura who always uses her money and name to get her way. I don't want to sit here anymore and listen to the crap you all have to say about everybody else when you of all people are worst type of people there is and I am done being friend." I yelled annoyed at everyone stunning them completely.
They all taken back by my out burst, the whole cafeteria froze at my outburst shock at the scene that's happening. Never once have I yelled and get mad at any of them they seem to have no idea how to react to this.
"He's right you know," Kris agrees taking everybody by surprise once more their mouth hanging open. "You are all assholes"
All of theses people except Kris is some thick headed up people that will never change their out look in high school maybe even their whole life and you know what I feel sorry for them. They may have all the girls, all the money and sex but they will never be truly happy.
I stood up from my spot irritated looking around and my gaze landed on Haliey sitting down on the grass looking at her food frowning. I stood there staring at her for awhile, she really is just beautiful. They way her hair blew in the wind no dye, no beauty tools and spray ever touched her hair but she still look stunning. Her skin flawless without any imperfection, her eyes deep with sadness that tells too much story for her to hold. I walk up to her hesitatingly standing infront of her waiting for her to look up. I saw her fist clenched tight but I can see she knows I'm standing her.
"What do you want?" She looked at my old spot panic appearing on her face seeing the whole group watching us closely causing her to turn pale.
"I want to sit with you" I sat down next to her frowning deeply at her comment.
She look up at me with wide eyes, her eyes filled with tears I almost reach forward and wipe her tears away. I smiled at her taking her by a surprise even more, she re-arrange her face and face forward her face turning into hard and cold one.
"Who put you up to this?" She whispered her voice crack of pain.
"No, no Haliey no one did trust me." I reassured. I want to be her friend, I really do.
"That's hard to believe" She scoff.
I frown a little bit, I understand she can't trust anyone and won't let anyone in. Kids these days are becoming more cruel to one and another, making each other depress and hateful. Every generation they become worst and younger. I really hope that people change.
"Can I sit here?" I asked politely even though I'm already seated
She turn her head at me, her baby blue eyes twinkle in the sunlight. Confusion cross her face, she stood up.
"Yeah take my spot" She quickly walk away with her head down.
I sighed, no matter what I'll be your friend, everybody needs a friend. I turn my head and caught the rest of the people in my table is looking at me confusion, Kris smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up. I chuckled and got up making a decision that I'm going to make Hailey my friend.
***
"Son is that you?" My mom appear with her fancy dress, she clip in her diamond earring.
"Yeah.." I drop my bag heading towards the T.V
"You have to get ready soon." She announced.
"What? Why?"
"Because we are having dinner with my bestfriend and his daughter." My dad sat down with his news paper.
"Bestfriend? Oh please I don't want to go to Aaron's house! He's a dick-
"Hey! Language!" My mom yelled pass.
"He is" My dad mumbled agreeing with me. "We are going to my old friend from way back. We haven't spoken in awhile and I think it's time" My dad frown deep in thought.
"You could of at least told me the day before what if I had stuff to do?"
"Do you?" He raised his eyebrows at me.
"Well no" I frown.
"What's your problem than" He rolled his eyes at me.
"Because!" I huffed. "I like to be informed thank you very much!"
My dad shook his head amused "Hurry up and get ready"
"Hurry up honey we really need to get going." Mom yelled from the other room.
"We are leaving at 8!" My mom yelled after me.
I walked up stairs and got ready tiredly, I drank a can of red bull to keep myself from falling asleep from this boring dinner my parents always force me to go. I walk downstairs slowly, my parents is already in the car beeping at me to hurry up. I decided to take an extra long time since they are yelling. I look through the fridge and pour myself a cup of juice.
"Are you kidding me Sky? You're pouring yourself a cup of orange when we are late?" My mom appear on the door.
"Are we going to the restaurant?"
"No-
"Than why are you rushing, chill." I drank the juice taping my fingers on the table earning an annoyed look on my moms face. I reach the bottom of the glass. "Let's go" I grinned.
We parked infront of this white plain house, I hop out and shook my hair in habit. We walked across the neat lawn and up to the white door. My dad rang the door bell, he looks a bit nervous about this dinner making me frown because it's so unlike him. Even with important business deals he never fidgets and look at his appearance the way he keeps doing tonight.
The door swung open and there stood Haliey with a baggy grey knit jumper and a black shorts, it was simple put she pull it off. She wore her hair back into a messy bun her curls falling effortlessly around the frame of her face. Her eyebrows came together when her eyes flicker at me eyes widening. My mouth fell down staring at her completely confused. A smile form on my face, well I guess it won't be as boring as I thought this dinner would be.
"Hey" I grinned excitedly.
"What-
"David!" We all turn around and saw who could only be her dad with oxygen stuck under his nose.
He looks sick, really sick his face sunken, his skin paler then the normal healthy color, he wore a beanie to cover up his head but the brightness in his eyes is still there and as his eyes land on my dad and mom a great big grin erupt his whole face making him look ten times better. My eyes flickered at Hailey seeing her looking at her dad with such love and awe.
I guess this is chance for me to get to know who Hailey really is.