Song of the Chapter Sweater Weather – The NBHD
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Chapter 16
Lizzy woke up on a comfortable bed amongst the white tiles and setting, the smell of plastic gloves untouched mixed with the strong scent of disinfectant, white bars along the side of the top of the bed to stop any falling out of it to be had, A beeping emanating from beside her as she remembered everything that had happened from the explosion, screaming, panicking and trying to run into the rubble to find the man she loved to the point where they had to sedate her to get her to stop clawing at the mouldering beams and embers, She sighed greatly, blinking fast to hold in the tears, trying to find an explanation, maybe he went to the parlour to see if she was there, maybe he wasn’t dead but she had no energy to thick, a sickness in her stomach and her heart in her throat caused her to just lay there with no one in the room. She thought of the possibility of losing Juice, no one was there for her when she woke up like there should be, like in the movies when the victim awoke and there were balloons and grapes and laughter, just an empty room with people running in and out of the doors with leaflets and documents, a doctor telling her that he’d be back soon but apart from the brief acquaintance there was no one to stop the tears from coming.
She peered at lack of security around and swung her legs over the bed, standing up and clutching her stomach like maybe holding herself together would stop her from breaking like smashed porcelain.
“Aah, Miss Martinez, I am back and I have your things, what are you doing out of bed?” Her doctor approached, shocking her escape in motion, he was young, in his early thirties maybe with gelled back hair and a substantial tallness about him that made the room seem smaller, dark eyes and bushy eyebrows disguised an inquiring frown with his plump lips upturned into a smile
“I needed to ugh-I Needed some a-air” She began pointing around the room as a gesture to distract him.
“Well you can have it after I tell you the good, the bad and the dischargeable” He chuckled at his own little joke.
“Can I go?”She asked, cutting him off as she waved her hands around putting it against her mouth and leaning back.
He looked her up and down with a sigh and shook his head although approving of her appearance
“Look, I have to tell you this okay? I’m sorry” He asked, ducking his head in the wait for a response, smiling to ensure safety, she nodded and he continued on
“There are no major burns but your hands might need some relief so that’s the good news but the bad is we needed to keep you in to run some tests on you due to the fact that you reacted to the sedative the first time-“ He was cut off by her snort of derision
“Yeah ...I was there” She whispered, the shame and embarrassment creeping up on her
“and we aren’t sure if it has anything to do with the baby-“
“-Wait what?” He was beginning to get short tempered with Lizzy’s constant butting in, rolling his eyes and continuing.
“Anyway there was no effect to you and the bun in the oven so far, it is doing absolutely fine, you’re both fit and healthy but we need you to be back in here for a few more tests in the next few weeks incase we just missed something” He muttered, looking up and down his sheet, lifting the one on the top to check he hadn’t forgotten anything.
Lizzy froze with a questioning look, her hand on her abdomen, confused at what she had just heard
“W-W-Wait there, can you check again?” She asked, the feeling of isolation covering her like a suffocating blanket.
“I’m pretty sure you’re pregnant, you’re 9 weeks” he wondered, pushing the clipboard in her face for her to check, she wasn’t showing? Sure she’d put on a few pounds but nothing noticeable, she thought it was stability after losing so much weight immediately after he mothers death
“We’ll need to ask you questions and if you’re worried just call my direct-line” The doctor handed her a card, talking into the sheet again
“I did not know” She sighed, sitting down and putting her head in her hands, ignoring the outstretched hand
“Didn’t think you did” He replied.
“I’ve put it through so much!” She continued.
There were a few worried whispers outside and heavy, fast approaching footsteps to the end of the corridor she was in
“Are you okay?” The doctor asked her, patting her on the head awkwardly but she shook him off
“I’m not sure...I can do this...” She sighed, holding back pushing tears, stubborn and sure they wanted to escape her eyes.
The door opened quietly and A man stepped through, she saw his shoes and wrecked jeans but refused to look up until she heard his sigh or heard a sign that it was him, Her eyes turned up slowly and caught sight of his beautifully relieved face
“Oh god, I didn’t think you made it out” she cried, Juice bent, picking her up and pulling her into his chest, holding her tight as they sobbed happily into each other’s armed, the cocky doctor escaping while he could with a quick ‘I’ll get your discharge papers’
“I’m so sorry I shouted at you, I am so sorry” He kissed Lizzy’s head and looked her over, sitting on the bed directly in front of her when he caught sight of the worried look on her face.
“Juice...something is, well” She tried but for the life of her couldn’t get it out.
He searched her face for a sign but found nothing but fear
“What’s wrong, what did the doctor say?” He asked, squeezing her hand whilst inspecting her a little more
“I’m fine, need to keep pressure off my hands though but ...I am” There was a long pause before she exhaled and whispered the dreaded word
“Pregnant” Her shoulders dropped as she watched Juice turn and face the wall resting is elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands, the news making him reel whilst she sat on the bed next to him and grabbed his hand, the room was closed off to the two of them easily, holding them captive to silence..
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know until now” She rambled, her hands on Juice’s back massaging him lightly
“How far along are you?” He asked thought his tone didn’t sound malicious or upset in the slightest
“I’m 9 weeks” She panicked, he couldn’t leave her and she definitely needed him to stay with her, he turned to look at her with a small smile, trusting her enough to know it was his and whispered
“What do we do Juice?” she asked, tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat ,he chuckled, the atmosphere getting friendlier and friendlier as the idea hugged them both
“Let’s have a baby, Let’s have it and be a proper family, Lizzy” He stood up excitedly, she wasn’t sure how she felt about this, about his happiness but either way the outcome had to be good
“Are you sure? Look around you Juice, everything with TM, everything with you...is it safe? Are WE safe?” Lizzy was serious about her worries, unsure if it was the right time but maybe a baby would make them more serious
“I want this Lizzy, I want to be a dad and to grow up, I want it with you” He sighed, crouching down in front of her and looking her in the eyes
“But what do you want” Juice finally sighed.
“I want this to be real, not a whirlwind romance that leaves us both fucked up, arguing over a kid that hates us both; I don’t want to have this kid and then find out the next day that you’re dead” She ended, tears threatening to spill over her eyes.
“It won’t be, we’ll slow down and we’ll do things right” Juice rubbed her legs with the look of sincerity in his eyes.
“Then you need to tell me what’s going on, be honest with me...all of the club stuff, it’s either everything or nothing and I don’t advise the latter” She inhaled deeply, swallowing the lump in her throat and preparing for the worst, he just shook his head,
“Juice, tell me the truth...what’s going on?” She sighed, trying to see if he would be honest, there was a moment of awkwardness, her plaid shirt hung over the edge of the bed but she wore her jeans and tank top, ripped and dirtied.
“I don’t kn-“
“You can trust me” Lizzy pleaded, her hand unnoticeably trailing to the bottom of her stomach
“It’s nothing I just...I messed up real bad” Juice’s hands slid back to his head and moved to the back of his neck
“I...I ratted the club out because my dad is, well he’s black and the sons have a very strict policy on race one I do not accept but Roosevelt threatened to tell them and then I’d lose everything so I did what I needed to and I killed one of the sons, Miles when he saw I stole coke from Romeo a while back and Jax and Chibs knew but-” He Lizzy’s arm snaking around his shoulders and pulling him into her chest
“I thought it was finished when I set up Clay, I’m so scared but it’s something I have to live with, either risk getting killed or lose the club” He sighed, the door cracking open a little and the doctor stepping back in
“Here’s your papers, could you make an appointment to see me at the front desk for exactly a week time and I’ll see you soon” He hurried, intimidated by Juice making him almost run, They stood up and Lizzy grabbed her broken phone and ripped shirt and began walking outside.
“What are you scared for?” She asked, her heart wrenching at the pain he was enduring
“That they’ll just drop me, Kill me? I’m just so paranoid” The walked side by side, the pain in his words unbearable for her
“Juice stop” She halted them, turning to look him dead in the eye
“you need to talk to Jax, ask for a strip suspension or something, all I know is I can’t lose you, I Love you Juice and I won’t let you go” She shook her head, massaging her temples
“And I love you, this isn’t how I’m going down” He kissed her forehead and let her make her appointment, something was going to be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Juice shook uncontrollably as he walked to TM, stopping a few seconds to look at the burning building he was stood in mere hours ago wrecked, being salvaged from the inside out which probably isn’t the best Idea but it appeared to be worth it.
“Jax?” Juice shouted, his breath and voice unstable
“In here” He retorted with what sounded like bating breathing and a lurch, like he was trying to lift something heavy
“Jax we need to talk” He ducked and stepped over burnt beams and bricks, rubble cutting into the bases of his biking boots
“Lizzy’s pregnant” He opened his arms, his face beaming as he figured he might as well start on a happy note, maybe he’d feel sympathy for Juice and refrain from the severe punishment that may have to come.
“That’s great man, congratulations” Jax laughed, slapping his hand and pulling Juice into his chest as a greeting of profound proximity and what appeared to be a friendly gesture.
“Where is everyone?” Juice asked
“We’ve decided to just stay out of each other’s way for a day or two and let this die down, lie low while we come up with a plan; I guess it’s like a day off” He shrugged and picked up a few bits and pieces that were only tarnished by the fire as opposed to destroyed.
Juice waited for him to return from the little box in the corner of the room with the survivors of the fire before he shot the question.
“What are we doing about the Irish?” He asked
“I have no clue, looks like we’re going to need a plan” Jax shrugged, getting the polish and wiping down the table with a rag, cleaning the ash from inside of it forcefully
“Are we going to be going over there?” Juice asked
“We need to hit them were it hurts, they’re like cards, knock on of them and the rest come tumbling down, we hit one of their distributors...sabotage them then they’ll need to take Marx but if that doesn’t work I think torture Galan but that’s just me I guess” Jax shrugged, Juice bent down and began to help him clean up the mess, specks of dust were visible, carrying themselves around the beams of light with the grace of a ballerina, like exploding glitter glorifying what had happened here.
The stench of smoke travelled around the two men like someone blowing remnants of a cigar at them.
There was another silence as Juice tried to find the perfect time to ask the terrifying question, Jax worked and worked, both of them shirtless however Juice still had the bandage on his chest
“What’s that?” Jax asked, poking him in it causing a wince from the mouth of Juice
“Lizzy’s name, or my nickname for her” Juice chuckled, rubbing it carefully
“Man you’re whipped so bad” Jax punched him in the arm playfully
“If you were with her then so would you be” Juice replied, realising the error he’d made and once again the awkward silence consumed them
“So you two are serious then?” Jax asked
“Yep, I hope we are...what about you and Tara I mean I know you slept with Blondie but do you feel guilty” Juice wondered but Jax just shook his head
“I really don’t know how I feel” Jax stood up and stretched into strange shapes to release the tension in his muscles.
“I want to take it to the table” Jax finally said it, his heart breaking inside due to the terror he felt
“Take what?” Jax asked, wiping his hands with his bandana then his head and running his fingers through his long blonde hair.
“The rat thing, I just thi-“
“Are you joking? Our clubhouse has just been blown to bits, we don’t have a table to take anything too and you want to tell them you ratted and killed Miles” Jax was outraged
“You don’t owe us anything Juice, you’re clear” He wiped his hand down his face, stepping away like it was the end of the conversation.
“Chibs doesn’t seem to think that, what if Lizzy wakes up and I’ve been killed because of this? Think about it, think about how if this was you and Tara” He pushed, standing with hands outstretched like he was pleading, angry that Jax couldn’t understand.
“We can’t! Any more losses and the charter falls through” He shouted.
“I am not losing everything my family has worked for because you feel like you need redemption Juice! This is ridiculous” Jax fumed
“I don’t have to leave, just a suspension maybe?” Juice wanted to do what was right by his old lady but by his club.
“You say nothing until the club gets up and running, I’ll talk to Chibs” Jax warned, putting his shirt on
“I refuse to let this charter fall, I’ll do everything I need to do to keep it up and running” He continued
“Jax, I need to do what’s right here” He whispered, giving up
“Do what’s right then but be warned...I can’t protect you when it gets out” And with that Juice watched him walk away, picking up the box and waltzing to the garage, what was he going to do?