Whatever you do,
work at it with
all your heart
Four POV
I sigh and push my fingers through my hair, effectively disheveling it a bit. Man, it was the perfect fucking moment. Then Mrs. Prior came and...I don't want to sound disrespectful, but she ruined it. She ruined the perfect moment. Okay, I can't blame her for us not kissing. It doesn't seem right to blame the mother of the girl I desperately like. That just seems wrong and really low.
I guess I'm just disappointed that we didn't get to kiss. I've wanted to for so long now. Yes, I have had a couple girlfriends in the past. I've had my first kiss. I've had my first time, so I'm no longer a virgin. But...as cliché as it sounds, I've never felt like this before about any other girl. Never have I felt this part of me that melts everytime I'm around the girl I liked, never have I been so weak around that said girl. Never have I felt so desperate for a girl I like.
This isn't just some teenage infatuation, as some people would say. It feels more than that, it is more than that. It's respect. It's care. Its vulnerability. It's weakness. It's strength. Do I even need to continue? Because I think not.
One thing I'm very relived about with all of this is that the feelings I hope were reciprocated, are indeed so. I know they are, or else she wouldn't have leaned in to kiss me.
Wait a minute.
For me it might've been my feelings for her. But for her...it might've been a spur of the moment kind of thing.
Fuck.
I groan and fall back on to my bed from my current sitting position. I'm going to have to talk to her about it. As awkward as it may be, I have to. But for now, I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.
I haven't told anyone about our almost-kiss. Not even Zeke knows. Though, I think he can tell I'm a bit more relaxed since I told Tris. Not much though. So I'm surprised if he even did notice.
Ding
Ding
I look over to where my phone lays on my dresser and see that I have a text from Tris. My hand reaches out to grab my phone and I unlock it, then go to the messages app.
Tris: Hey, can I come over? I wanted to talk to you.
My heart pounds against my chest as I read the last sentence. What does she want to talk about? Does she want to talk about the almost-kiss we had? Or something else?
Four: Yeah, sure.
I guess I'll be finding out soon what she wants to talk about.
Time Skip
Once I hear the sound of the door bell I rush down the stairs and to the wooden front door. As soon as I open it a blast of cold air hits my face and enters the house, making it a little cooler.
Tris stands there wearing a long sleeve dark green top, black leggings, brown furry boots, and a brown leather jacket.
"Hey," I say. "come on in."
She nods and steps inside while I shut the door behind her.
"So what did you want to talk about?" I ask as I take a seat on the white couch.
She sits down beside me and takes off her jacket. "I just wanted to talk to you about what happened at Bunny's Run." And there it is. The thing I was hoping she wouldn't have wanted to talk about.
"Uh, w-what about it?" I stutter out.
She sighs and her gaze lands directly on me. "The tattoos on your back, what do they stand for exactly? I've never seen anything like it before."
Well that is something I definitely didn't expect. All she wanted to know about was the tattoo's. Thank god that's all.
"They're symbols from an ancient tribe that was originally from Indonesia, but settled in, ironically, Illinois since there were said to be hidden treasures in the mountains. The tribe was called The Berbeda, which is Indonesian for Divergent." I explain to her.
"Oh, that's cool. Can I hear the full story to your tattooed back? And I don't mean how you got it. I mean the symbols. Like, what they stand for and all that."
My lips purse together as I begin to contemplate on how to tell it to her without confusing her. I slowly nod my head as think more about it.
"Yeah. It's a long story though. Just warning you."
She chuckles lightly and leans back into the couch, kicking her feet up on the coffee table. "I've got plenty of time."
"Okay, where do I begin?" I mutter as I tap my chin to think.
Once I think of a way to start, I being to explain immediately.
"The Berbeda were split into five different titles based on their aptitude." I say. "These five different titles were called faksi, or factions. Each faction played a critical role in maintaining the daily responsibilities of the whole tribe. No one faction held a higher ranking then the others. They were all an equilibrium, which is why each faction played a different role.
"Each faction had a core belief that they valued and saw as the only way to ensure peace. Which is why each faction has a different aptitude. Every faction also has a certain symbol that they believed to have perfectly described their faction.
"The Gigih, or Dauntless, were known as the bravest and most fearless ones in the tribe. Their job was to be the courageous warriors if there were to ever be a battle. Whenever there wasn't a battle to be fought, though, their job was keep everyone in the tribe safe. They guarded the area and made sure to get rid of any intruders or criminals. They believed that cowardice was the reason for the world's injustices. The motto they had was, and I quote, "We believe in ordinary acts of bravery. In the courage that drives one person to stand up for another." Their core belief was to have freedom from fear. The official symbol of the faction was a flame. They believed that the flame stood for the upmost bravery and fearlessness."
"Wow." Tris breathes out. Her eyes have a certain spark in them that tells me that she's truly interested in what I have to say. So I continue.
"The Pelepasan diri, or Abnegation, were the selfless ones of the tribe. They didn't ravish in self indulgence at all like everyone did. They did nothing for themselves since it would seem as they were being selfish. Their job was to help run the governmental, I guess you could say, part of the tribe. That and they helped other tribes with anything they needed. Whether it be helping with making clothing, tending to the wounded and ill, or simply making food. They helped do it all for their tribe and others. They believed that self indulgence and selfishness was the reason for the world's injustices. Their motto was, "It shall be my I doing if I become my obsession." Their core belief was to put them before I. Or in other words put others before themselves. Their symbol was a pair of joint hands. It looked like one was helping the other. They believed that the joints hands stood for help being given to those who need it.
"The Terpelajar, otherwise known as Erudite, were the intelligent ones. They believed that intelligence was the most important thing above all else. Their job was to invent and create different tools that could be used to help with everything in the tribe. Not only did they make tools though, they mostly did a lot of tests and experiments to create new medicines to help with any of the injured or ill. They were all vain though. That was one flaw each Erudite had. Since they were so intelligent, they believed that they were the best. Which did create some conflict, but I'm not going to go into those details. Anyway, they believed that ignorance was to blame for the injustices of the world. Their motto was, "Knowledge is the only logical solution to conflict. Intelligence must be used for the benefit of society." Their core belief was that knowledge eliminates conflict. The symbol that was used to represent their faction was an eye. The eye stood for knowledge and understanding. The clarity of the eye was made to show that there would also always be room for more information and knowledge on certain things."
Tris is now watching me intently, still with that spark of interest being shown in her eyes. "Well are you going to continue or not?" she asks impatiently when I didn't say anything for a while.
I chuckle and shake my head. "Okay, okay. It's just amusing to see how eager you are to know more about it."
She smiles sheepishly at me and it makes a smile of my own spread across my lips.
"The Keterusterangan, known as Candor, were the honest ones. They believed that honesty and the truth was the best policy. Their job in the tribe was to deal with any conflicts that happened. Whether it was in the tribe or somewhere else with another tribe. They always searched for the truth and could sniff out a lie ten miles miles away. Basically they're like Christina, a blunt human lie detector. They were taught to say anything that came to their head, having no filter at all. Again, just like Christina. They believed that dishonesty was to blame for the injustices of the world. Their motto was, "Dishonesty makes evil possible. Truth makes us inextricable." Their core belief was basically the last line of their motto. That truth makes us inextricable. Their symbol was the silhouette of two men, one darkened and the other not. It looked like they were holding large bowls, but that's not what it was. The two men stood back to back so it could look like a balanced scale. They believed that the lighter man was the clear truth and the darker was the dark lies.
"And finally there the Persahabatan, or Amity. They were the kindest people you could ever possibly meet. Their job in the tribe was to greet anyone who joins after passing an initiation and to do the farming. Mostly the farming part though. They'd also take care of any animals that weren't being used for food in the tribe. One major flaw that they had was that they were too passive due to their overly-compassionate demeanor. They believed that cruelty was to be blamed for the world's injustices. Their motto was, "Trust. Self-sufficiency. Forgiveness. Kindness." Their core belief was to have open arms, open eyes, and forgiving hearts. The symbol that represented them was a tree that's branches were swaying in the wind. Just like forgiving, letting it roll off your back and into the past, the branches on the tree were swaying to let their past problems roll off their back." I finish explaining.
"That's a lot." Is the first thing Tris says.
I nod my head in agreement. "Yes. Yes, it is."
Her head tilts to the side a bit and her eyes narrow as she seems to be confused. "So those faction symbols are the symbols that are tattooed on your back." she says.
"Yeah, they are. I got all of them instead of just one because..." I sigh. "I don't want to be just one thing." I say as I lean back on the couch, putting my arm over the back of it behind Tris.
"I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless. And intelligent, and honest, and kind. Although," I say as I turn my gaze away from the floor to her eyes. "I'm still working on kind."
She smiles at me and I find myself smirking back at her. "No one's perfect." she says softly. "It doesn't work like that. One bad thing goes away, and another bad thing replaces it."
"Yeah." I say breathily.
I didn't realize it before, but now I do. As we were both talking, we were also leaning in. Closer and closer, but not close enough. No where near as close as we were on Bunny Hill. Not yet, anyway.
Her eyes shift from staring into mine and look down to my lips, then back up again. I give her a small smile and she returns it with one of her own award winning ones.
It takes almost all of my self control to not look down at her lips, but even then I lose and I find myself staring at her small, plump lips.
When I look back up at her, I see that's she's closer than before. So she's leaning in....that means that she does like me.
She likes me.
She likes me.
Tris Prior wants to kiss me
"Tobias!" A stern voice booms from behind us.
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Cliffhangerrrrrrrr! Sorry not sorry about the kiss, it'll come in due time. Donkey probably wants to murder me for doing this again. You know who you are. But seriously, you'll love how it turns out. The kiss, I mean. It should happen sometime soon. More or less.
/Alone Together- Fall Out Boy\
~theoceps