Nathan's POV -
I seemed to be the only one who noticed Jess and Max had been gone a lot longer than usual for someone that was just having a quick smoke, so I decided that I was going to investigate and see what was taking them so long.
I walked outside, stopping just behind the wall so I could listen to their conversation and see what I could learn from them, but I instantly regretted doing so as what I heard changed everything for the rest of the night.
"I'll miss you. I'll miss you all. But I need to move on, and it might make it easier for Nathan to accept that we're never going to be together." Jess spoke, and Max just pulled her into a massive hug as she held a sorry look on her face.
"You had better come and see me then? I want to know everything, including if you ever find a boyfriend." Max laughed and, although he might have been joking, there was a pang of jealousy which rushed inside me as the thought of her with someone other than me hit me right where it hurt.
I didn't want her in the arms of anyone other than me, it was always supposed to be me and there was no way she was ever going to leave and be with someone else either.
"You won't be able to get rid off me, you're my bestfriend and I'd be nothing without you. Although, I think it will be you coming to see me because the job I want to go for is out here. In America." Jess replied, as she pulled away from Max slightly and looked at him with an apologetic look on her face.
"What? You're going to be all the way over here?" Max said, like the realisation of just how far away she wanted to get hit him right where it hurt and he was actually going to have to accept that she wasn't going to be just round the corner anymore; she was going to be over the other side of the world and he wasn't going to be able to just phone her when he felt like it either.
"I'm sorry Max. The further the better." Jess stated, and I decided I had heard enough and I wanted to make sure I was hearing everything right and she wasn't just saying this to make Max leave her alone.
"I'm sorry Max. The further the better." I practically whispered, causing both Max and Jess to turn around and look at me with on shock on their faces; they were surprised that someone had been listening to their conversation and had found out some other way, beside her telling me, that she was leaving and going for a job over here.
"Look, Nathan, I was going to tell you. But-"
"But you just decided to tell everyone other than me before that happened. Yeah?" I finished for her because I didn't want to hear her lies, or the stupid excuses that she had found the time to come up with while she had been stood out here with Max.
"I haven't told anyone other than Max. I swear." Jess insisted with tears in her eyes.
"I don't believe you Jess. You've always been like this, and I don't know why I thought you could ever change." I snapped in annoyance at her, much to the disproval of Max; anyone would think that he wanted to be with her the way that he spent his time defending her and making people feel sorry for her.
"Like what Nathan? Finding it difficult to trust people? Not wanting to let anyone in for fear of getting hurt? Wanting to move on before anything too serious happens and I give someone the chance to break my heart?" Jess snapped back at me with tears in the corner of her eyes, but that wasn't going to work with me this time and I wasn't going to feel any sort of remorse for her at this point in time; she had made me feel like I was nothing and like everything between us was meaningless.
"You were the one that started this entire thing, and you can't even blame me for any of this." I shouted.
"Look Nathan, I really don't care what you say or do anymore. I'm leaving my job and moving over here once this tour is done, I'm going to talk to Kev in the morning and make sure he knows this is what I want. I'm sorry." Jess sighed and walked back into the restaurant without saying another word to me or even allowing me the chance to reply to what she had just said to me.
"If you weren't so overbearing with her all the time and you actually gave her the chance to talk, then you might find out why she doesn't want any form of relationship with you. She needs a lot more than love, and there's no way you can give her what she needs." Max spat at me, and I just saw red in that moment because I'd had enough of him thinking he could tell me what to do and that he had the right to get involved with everything that went on in my life.
"Anyone would think you want to be with her the way you talk about her. It's almost like you think you know every single thing about her and, if she was given the choice between me and you, then she would automatically pick you. I bet there are things you haven't told her about yourself, things that would make her never want to talk to you again. I'm sure you can't have told each other everything." I snapped angrily.
"You would be surprised by what we tell each other Nathan. For example, the reason she wants to stop working for us and move out here is because, as much as she wants to be with you, she feels you're too opposite to each other to ever make it work and she can't bare that sort of heartbreak from someone again." Max replied calmly, not even flickering at my rage towards him.
In fact, he didn't even blink when I was getting closer and closer to his face and practically spitting every word I spoke.
"Then why doesn't she tell me that herself?" I questioned.
"For the very reason you're demonstrating here Nathan. You fly off the handle far too quickly and don't give her the chance to explain herself to you. If you spoke to her, rather than just sleeping with her each time you saw her, then you might find you get a lot further with her." Max said.
"And you know this, how?"
"I'm her bestfriend, and she trusts me more than she trusts any of you others. She comes to me when there's no one else for her to turn to, and I know for certain, it's you that she wants but she's never going to have it." Max replied before he walked back inside, leaving me there with nothing other than confusion spread in my mind.
How the hell does one girl do this to me?
She makes me angry, but then she makes me feel something no other girl could ever make me feel and I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.
She's dangerous, and she's no good for me, but that makes me want her all the more and keeps pulling me to her.
Not only that, but she's also attractive and has an amazing personality; she makes me smile more than anyone I've ever known and she can make me happier simply by walking into the same room as me.
This girl had the power to control my every emotion, and she doesn't even know that she does it to me because she thinks that I just want to sleep with her - when I want so much more than that from her.
I want to be the one that shows her it is possible for someone to love her, and it is possible for someone to understand exactly how she feels and that she deserves to be happy with her life without the constant worry of the future.
With everything rushing through my mind in that moment and the realisation of just how much I love Jess hitting me, I ran back into the restaurant and over to where we were all sitting; Jess was looking miserable and doing something on her phone while all the others were in deep conversation with each other about something or another.
I walked back over to my seat, and tapped Jess so she was aware that I was back.
To my disappointment, she looked at me briefly and then looked straight back at her phone without even so much as a smile leaving her lips.
"I love you Jess." I said to her so none of the others could what I had just said.
"What Nathan?" she said, obviously not hearing what I had just said to her; either that she was just pretending that she didn't hear me because she wanted to make me say it again.
"I, Nathan Sykes, love you, Jessica Smith." I said louder than I meant to because half the restaurant were looking at me like it was the sweetest thing they had ever seen a person do, while the other half were looking at me like they really didn't care what I thought about this girl.
"Wait? What? You love me?" Jess replied in clear shock.
"Look, I know I've never shown you that I love you and you've got no reason to believe me either, but I really do love you Jess. You do something to me that no other girl could ever do, and there is something about you which I just can't keep away from. Every imperfection makes you who you are, and they make you perfect to me; I wouldn't want you any other way because this is what I fell for. I love you Jess, please just give me the chance to prove that to you?" I asked her, trailing off at the end because I didn't know what she was going to say or how she was going to take this revelation that I actually did love her and I really didn't want to lose her because I don't know what I would do if she wasn't around anymore to make me smile when she did something silly, or make me laugh with one of her weird stories, or just generally make my whole a lot better than it otherwise would be.
"I'm a lot more messed up than you realise Nathan and it takes a lot more than 'love' to make me want to give you the chance you want. It would never work between us, and you know it wouldn't either. Please, just stop trying." Jess replied as she picked up her bag and walked out of the restaurant, leaving me stood there, feeling like a right twat for what had just happened.
I didn't know what I was supposed to do to make her believe this is what I really wanted, and I wasn't going to give up until I got that because there is no way I was ever going to let her leave without putting up a bloody good fight.
Jessica's POV -
As I walked back to the hotel, I considered everything Nathan had just said to me and how I had just walked out in him without even giving him a proper reason why, but it was for the best.
I wasn't going to change my mind about everything now, and I wasn't going to go running into his arms either.
I had made my choice and it looks like I'm going to have to leave earlier than planned.
A lot earlier than planned.
I was going to leave, and I was going to leave tonight before any of the boys returned to be able to stop me; this was the best way and they all had to realise that there was no other way.
I can't be around this anymore.
I just can't handle it.