When I started this I didn't think I would be even going as far as 50 chapters :/
But here we are and I have no idea when I am finishing this book !
Hope you enjoy this one😉
THANKS FOR OVER 9.2K READS ALMOST 850 VOTES AND ALMOST 450 COMMENTS ♡♡
"Don't run from the pain
It is there to remind you what healing feels like."
*****************************************************************
RIHANNA POV
Roman was being very secretive about where we were going. I had been getting ready to get into bed after the long day as we had just gotten off the yacht before things went all crazy in the shower.
I figured we were gonna be lazy, just try and get a good channel on but he had other plans for us.
We were simply walking in the village, it was just after 9pm though. I took in the lights that lit up the street as he held my hand in his until he stopped at some cafe type thing.
I followed him in as we took a seat out back in the garden area as a few people danced on the grass to the slow music playing.
"Wine and sushi baby boy?" I gazed at the platter the waiter set down in the middle of the table. I guess Roman had made them do it as we were on our way.
"I guess that's how our first date was?" He winked as he took some chopsticks and placed a California roll into his mouth.
"Sitting on me couch is hardly what I call a first date?" I smiled slightly, recalling my impulsive decision to bring basically a stranger into my home then .
I had met Roman once before then and that was at his show but yet I welcomed him in, there was just something about him from the beginning and well now I didn't regret it one bit.
"It was though, because it was the day you said yes to this.." He took my free hand in his and I smiled as I gazed down at it.
"What would you have done if I hadn't said yes" I asked hesitantly as my eyes remained on our hands as we slowly intertwined our fingers.
"Waited. I would have been willing to wait" He lift my hand up to his lips and placed a kiss on it before giving a knowing smirk .
⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆
Words cannot express how much I love him and fangirled over this look
"Smooth" I laughed as he referenced my song.
"I was and still am a fan baby girl, now I just happen to have VIP access all the time.."
I saw his phone light up and he immediately silenced it.
"Why don't you want to answer her call?" I saw a picture of his ex-wife on the lighted up screen before it went dark.
"Because I'm having dinner with you and its our last night here" he shrugged as he stared at me half confused at my question.
"I'm fine with it Joe" he sighed and called her back.
Judging by how he spoke I knew she was wishing him a late happy birthday.
I didn't know the woman so I didn't want my previous jealousy and now slight jealousy to make him not want to speak to her while I was around. I would rather have him be comfortable with speaking about her and to her in front of me than getting surprises again.
I glanced away from him and slowly ate as my mind drifted.
"So you saw your dad today for what reason, I thought you cut him off?" I sighed as I wished he hadn't seen my dad leave the studio as I recorded the song for Roman, which luckily I recorded when no one else was here.
"It don't matter" I shrugged and walked out of the room as I had to get to the airport.
"What? You want him to meet your man who cheats?" I stopped due to his words and turned.
I knew he brought Roman up for that exact purpose but I wasn't going to hold back when he spoke about my man whether I played into his little games or not.
"Aubrey I'm not in the mood for ya shit okay? I'm leaving to go see my man and I want to be in a good mood when I see him tomorrow" I simply said as I folded my arms over my chest and he frowned as I had turned to face him .
I was wearing one of Roman's merch hoodies that Jenn had gotten for both of us .
"So you just forgive him?" He frowned half shocked and half angry it seemed .
"It ain't any of your business. All you be doing is talking shit bout my man. You didn't show me that article to get my priorities straight. You wanted to hurt me. You can see how I feel about him and you wanted to take it away by showing me that shit?"
"So you telling me those pictures are shit? Cause that ain't look like shit to me Robyn.You believe this Mr Perfect bullshit his putting up but I bet his banging her whenever you..."
I slapped him hard and I saw anger flash in his eyes but he stood back.
"He did nothing wrong , its none of your business anyway! If you keep badmouthing him don't bother fucking talking to me cause everyone in this fucking company hates that I want to be with anyone but you. So I wasn't surprised that someone I thought was a friend to me is doubting my decisions. I don't need this shit Aubrey " I turned away but I felt him pull on my arm.
He sighed, "I'm sorry Robyn I'm just not used to this. I promise I'll try"
"Try what?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "To tear me and him apart by kissing me or showing me shit I would rather not want to see."
"I didn't show them to you to hurt you Robyn. You know I love you and because I love you its hard for me. But I'm really sorry, look I'll stop with the hating and try and settle shit with your boy?" I frowned as I stared at him and he laughed a bit.
"I'm serious Robyn.. Come on?"
"Okay" he nodded and set the phone down.
"I would like for you to meet her whenever you feel ready? " He glanced at the phone as he spoke, I nodded with a smile as he finished off what was left of the platter.
I would have loved to meet her but not soon, maybe once things got more serious. Not that we weren't now, the feelings I had for Roman were crazy.
But we had only been together for not even 6months so I was still a bit weary and I wasn't sure I could handle spending time with her, getting to know her and seeing how different we were . I didn't want my overthinking to kick in and question anything, I just wanted to be happy with my baby boy.
But I knew I didn't want to keep shit from him.
"Drake is the one who showed me the article about you and her" I blurted out and he frowned as he took a napkin and wiped his mouth.
"I spoke to him on Tuesday and things are okay. He said he wouldn't try to do anything or say anything about us" I shrugged as I leaned forward to be closer to him.
"And you believe him?" He whispered slowly .
"I know him" I shrugged. "He loves me but I think he realized I could never reciprocate that feelings and I guess that made it turn into hate towards you unintentionally"
"Why not?" He surprised me by asking.
"I just know myself, he is a good guy despite the things that has happened he is. Its just I don't know I guess only one good guy has a place in this heart" I smirked as I lifted his hand and held it over my chest.
He smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen, even though I had told him that many times before just in different ways.
He gave my breast a squeeze and I laughed and set our hands down on the table again.
"You can't be seducing me with one of my favourite parts of your body and not expect me to feel it!" He still smiled and I leaned back.
"So that's seducing ? Then what is this?" I raised my eyebrow as I slipped my foot from my shoe and slid it slowly up his thigh and he jumped back causing a loud noise to come from his chair moving on the ground.
I quickly pulled my leg away and burst out laughing.
"Mmmmm so now my girlfriend likes embarrassing her Samoan moments after making him so happy!" He leaned in and whispered.
I sat back as the waiter took away the empty dish and topped up our wine and we said no to desert.
"My desert is going to be handcuffed to me in a few hours" He whispered and I narrowed my eyes at him.
"What? I said handcuffed to me, making it both of us " he shrugged with a laugh but then cleared his throat.
"How do you do it?"
I frowned caught off guard as the way he looked at me told me it had nothing to do with our joking around.
"Do what?" I whispered , knowing the confusion was all over my face.
"Chris, you forgave him and still found a way to defend him and same now with Drake" I sighed with a small smile not being able to read how he felt about it.
"People make mistakes Joe. Whether we forgive them or not, their mistakes will always haunt them all you can do is ease it for them as well as yourself. Because you holding onto the anger and hatred just causes you to lose yourself in it. That's what happened at first after the whole Chris thing. I mean yeah I am different now, but getting to just be the me I am now was hard. I lashed out at everything everyone, my friends I pushed everyone away because I felt unworthy. My thing was, if someone could do that to me that meant my life meant nothing and I believed it for a long time."
"Baby.." He whispered and I shook my head.
"I just looked at the situation. I was shutting everyone out , I was angry and hurt and I just lashed out by becoming someone who I completely didn't recognize and one day I just decided to let him go. Because holding on to what could have been is what hurt most. I know you probably saw I went back to him a few times after it all.
It wasn't the same though, I think I wanted it to be because I craved the love I felt for him and the love I got back from him before but in the end I realized after that night we were different people. So that's why I say I don't love him cause that ain't there ya know?" I stared at him and he nodded and leaned over with a kiss.
"You know I never judged you for going back to him. I know many people did ,as a guy watching it all unfold, I despised him for doing that to you. But I never blamed you for going back you were so young back then, just because you were in the spotlight and had to be a role model shouldn't have given them a reason to hate it all.I guess I tried to understand why you went back and now I know. You know you aren't nothing baby girl? You are everything and I honestly hope that you never feel that way with me. Even with our fighting you should know that I love you and that you are everything to me at this point in my life.
Everyday I just look forward to living on some island with you and I have to tell you it always ends up being good. I don't mean to bring up old unwanted feelings when I question you about them its just that I want to know everything about you baby girl. I like learning everything because yes I saw everything on display out there but that's what they assume you felt ,not what you actually did"
I thought I heard him say three words that I wasn't expecting to hear but all his words were rushed and me asking would just be putting him on the spot and if I spoke my tears would spill in this restaurant as my Samoan just knew how to hit it every time.
"I told you I was different baby girl and when I said that I meant I would make you feel like you were the only girl in my world and allow you to let everything go. All your regrets, all your hurt ..Everything that has been holding you back from taking the next step until you met me."
I simply stared down as the images blurred and I heard his chair move softly and soon felt his arms wrap around me as I buried my face into his suit jacket.
"I just want you to feel safe with me Robyn, in every way possible baby girl" he whispered and I smiled through my tears at his words as he handed me an unused napkin.
I peeked around at the other people but they didn't seem to notice me falling apart in his arms.
Once I calmed down a bit as he had stopped. I hated that he had as I sensed there was more he wanted to tell me but instead he simply held me.
"The reason I forgive is because I guess I like to think that there has to be goodness in everyone. Yes they do things that aren't but it shouldn't define them for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't want you thinking I would ever kiss another man again simply because of my one night and lack of judgement, the same way you wouldn't want me questioning you or doubting you when you hang out with Galina. So that's why I do it because I know how it feels to be on the other side of it all. I realized it most when I hurt you and disappointed you. I never want to have you look at me that way again. So I try each day and I try to forgive as much as I can because people deserve forgiveness"
I whispered into his neck hoping he had heard.
Beyonce - Hello
Oh!
Oh oh, oh oh oh oh......
I felt him shift and he gently moved me back and I was glad I hadn't had a chance to put on make-up. I never did while on vacation but if I had known he was taking me out I would have but didn't.
I love to see you walk into the room
Body shining lighting up the place
And when you talk, everybody stops
Cause they know you know just what to say
He smiled as he traced his fingers over my cheeks and kissed my forehead gently.
He took my hand and stood up, "let's dance baby girl"
I frowned but followed as I guess getting lost in the music was what we needed and the fact that it happened to be Bey's music playing made me smile as I followed him.
And the way that you protect your friends
Baby, I respect you for that
And when you grow, you take everyone you love along
I love that shit
He pulled me against him and wrapped his arms around me as I wrapped mine around his neck as I buried my face in it . Swaying with the beat and letting the lyrics sink in.
don't fly me away
Don't need to buy a diamond key to unlock my heart
You shelter my soul
You're my fire when I'm cold
I want you to know
You had me at hello
Hello
Hello
You had me at hello
Hello
Hello
"Robyn?" I heard his deep voice in my ear.
"Mhmmm?" He didn't respond and I moved back to stare up at him.
It was many years ago
Baby when you
Stole my cool
Cause you had me at hello
Hello
Hello, oh oh oh oh oh
"I er... I want you to meet my parents.. Tomorrow" he blurted out.
"They don't like me Roman I don't.." I shook my head and glanced away but he held my cheek and tilted my face so I could focus on him.
"They do though, they will .. I just want them to meet you. We can drive out to the next town for the live event after so we won't be staying more than a hour"
I get so excited when you travel with me
Baby, while I'm on my grind
And never would I ever let my hustle
Come between me and my family time
You keep me humble out of this hype
Cause you know there's more to life
If I need you, you will be here
You will make the sacrifice
I felt myself tensing up as my nerves kicked in. I heard how they spoke of me, they didn't want me for him. That's where my insecurities went into overdrive with Galina because they wanted her for him because they believed she was his one.
Don't fly me away
Don't need to buy a diamond key to unlock my heart
You shelter my soul
You're my fire when I'm cold
Just want you to know
He soon let me ease as he held me tighter and pressed his lips to mine. I slipped my tongue past his lips and my hands moved from his shoulders to his face as he kissed me slowly and gently.
You had me at hello
Hello
Hello
You had me at hello
Hello
Hello
I prayed there were no paparazzi nearby , not anything wrong was happening its just that away from the beach. It was the first time we got so intimate in public. His grip tightened even more as he leaned down.
It was many years ago
Baby when you
Stole my cool
Cause you had me at hello
Hello
Hello, oh oh oh oh oh
He slowly broke the kiss placing a quick one on my lips and I slowly opened my eyes to find him smiling.
"I don't want to disappoint you. They already don't like me so much. Normally I could care less but they are your parents and I just.."
"Robyn what they think won't make me change how I feel about you. Nothing can, I just want us to take this chance together and hope it turns out okay"
I didn't know what to say.
Gotta feel you and be near you
You're the air that I breathe to survive
Gotta hold you, wanna show you
That without you my sun doesn't shine
You don't have to try so hard for me to love you
Boy, without you my life just ain't the same
You don't have to try so hard for me to love you
"Please baby girl. I give you permission to be pissed at me if I am letting you go into this shit and it falls apart, as long as you remain my island girl while you are"
"I.." His eyes were pleading me and I knew it meant a lot to him. It meant a lot to me as well, I was just...
"I'm scared" I confessed.
"Me too.." He laughed a bit and I got why he did. We were grown people acting like teenagers afraid of the parents forbidding their love.
You had me at hello!
You had me at hello
Hello
Hello
You had me at hello
Hello
Hello
I sighed and let my hands fall down his chest and slipped them beneath his jacket and wrapped them around him as his arms fell over me and his chin rested on my head .
"I've watched you from afar for years baby girl and by some miracle you are mine and nothing will change my need for you ." I smiled into his chest at his words, wishing I knew of him back then.
But he was most likely married or engaged to Galina ..
It was many years ago
Baby when you
Stole my cool
"Okay Joe.." I whispered and he held me tighter as we swayed and I closed my eyes getting lost in my man and Bey's voice fading.
Cause you had me at hello
Hello
Hello, oh oh oh oh oh
It was many years ago
Baby when you
Stole my cool
You had me at hello
Hello
Hello, oh oh oh oh oh........
A/N:
Really hope you liked this chapter even though it was just dinner+ the two lovers: )
HOPE YOU ENJOYED ALL THE PICTURES AS WELL :)