ONE – Confession
“I like you.”
“What?”
You were astonished of what you heard. You have heard several confessions before but this was different. That guy was different.
He was Levi. The Levi. He was a senior of your high school, the same year as you. He basically excels in everything – academics, sports, and even co-curricular activities. He topped the SAT’s, but it was rumored that he doesn’t even take studying seriously. He was also the former captain of the fencing club, but quitted due to an unknown reason. And he was always dragged to compete in competitions outside the school, and would always place first in every one of them. He was also damn good-looking, despite the height. Teachers always commended his excellent performance, girls were in love with him and wanted to be their boyfriend, and guys were always jealous of him.
And despite being one of the “top people” of the school, you were no exception in falling for his charms. You would always observe him from behind, only seeing his lean back most of the time. But now, he was with you in an alley near the school to which he dragged you. He was looking at you with those cobalt eyes, face to face. He had his hands gripped on your shoulders. Your face was flushed red.
You had no idea what to feel. You didn’t know if you should feel happy or flattered, because a guy like him likes you; or you should feel shocked, because he acted this way.
As far as you knew, he was always antisocial. You observed that he would always sit at the far back of the room, and people would have their chairs a bit farther away from him. He never recited as far as you could remember. People would rarely have the chance of talking to him, unless you’re a faculty member or someone from the Student Government. Heck, those people won’t even approach him unless it was highly necessary. He would disappear during breaks and dismissal time. He had no friends to talk to. Every time someone would attempt to do so, they would be pushed away so easily. He talks so cruelly and he knows how to push a person’s buttons to make them cry.
And here you are, seeing another side of him. You thought that he had no emotions, considering he would always wear a bored expression or an emotionless face. Hell, you thought that he even liking someone was next to impossible. You could feel that he was nervous. His eyes were filled with longing. And you felt that it was because of you.
You chuckled nervously and forced yourself a smile, saying, “Could you repeat that again? I bet I heard it wrong.”
“I’m serious, [name],” he said, his eyes piercing right down into your soul. “I really liked you for a long time, and I want you to go out with me.”
You wanted to say something, but were lost for words. You wanted to breathe, but something was preventing air to come into your lungs. He removed his grip from your shoulders, and air was finally able to enter through your lungs again.
Both of you were staring to each other for a very long time, much like an eternity had passed. Your mind felt like it was playing with you, and you were unable to fathom what was happening. He continued to stare at you, waiting for an answer, until he finally got tired and leaned on the wall of the alley. He took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit it up, and inhaled through it.
“W-wait, aren’t cigarettes—?” you asked, but you were cut off.
“…Banned inside the school?” he finished. “Oh right, you’re one of the people in the Student Government.” He removed the cigarette and puffed a smoke. It smelled of cloves.
“Listen here – it’s not only me who has these kinds of shit in the school. Believe it or not, students from your petty little government and even teachers manage to bring these in school – even alcohol and drugs. And hell, they do it even inside the campus. So, I suggest that you start having a better eye on them,” he continued.
“Really? Even the teachers?”
He let out another smoke and extinguished the butt at the wall behind him. “Just tell me if you’ve made your mind,” and started to walk away back into the school.
---
A few days later, you caught him walking down a hallway during dismissal time, and returned the feeling. You saw a small smile creep up on his face when you said yes. It made you blush to see him smile.
From that day on, you were always together. You ate with him at lunch, where you found out that he eats on the roof of the school and makes his own lunch to school, because he found the food in the cafeteria to be “highly shitty and unsanitary”. When you started going out with him, he would always bring two lunch boxes, for you and for him. You also found out that he was a clean freak, like what the rumors said by one of the girls in your batch.
You would also see other emotions from him other than his usual smug face, but would retract afterwards. He would let out a small smile, but would return to his usual bored, emotionless expression. He would sometimes let out a chuckle, but would keep silent again. And when you would walk around the school with him, the girls would just let out a deadly glare to you. But Levi would always reassure you to not be afraid of them, and that he will always be there by your side.
You were happy, absolutely happy. You thought that this is what it meant to have a lover. It felt good. You never knew because you were always busy, and you thought it was highly unnecessary to have one. He gave you much more than you need and can give back. He said he didn’t mind. He would do anything to make you satisfied.
---
Then, one Saturday night, you stayed in school late because Jean Kirschtein, the president of the Student Government asked you to finish some reports that the originally assigned officers couldn’t. Levi insisted that he’d stay with you until you were done with all your reports. After a little argument, he finally settled down and decided that he went home, reassuring that you’ll take care of yourself and could come home safely.
You and Jean stayed in the meeting room, and he was also doing other reports. “I have an idea, [name]. Maybe I should replace those people for not doing their jobs,” he started to say.
“Don’t say anything else, Jean. I am just as pissed as you are,” you replied, typing the reports in your laptop.
“I mean, those shits will get a lashing out of me the next time I see them. The faculty is giving me a hard time, you know, because of their stupidity. I mean, I also have a life, you know?”
Shut up. You’re not the only one with a life, you thought.
“I just wanted to spend a nice long Friday night with my girlfriend. But no, I’m sentenced with a person like you to do all these reports others failed to do. Who do you think should I impeach first, [name]? Should I take out Connie, or Sasha? Hell, I know… you’d want to impeach Eren for making you do his reports, right? Or maybe—?”
“If I’m going to listen to your crap, could I at least get something to eat?” you snapped, making him stop. You stood up and stopped typing in the reports.
“Ugh fine then, [name],” he sighed, and then stood up himself. “But I won’t ask you what you want.”
“That’s totally fine then,” you replied. “At least I won’t have to hear your nagging for the next ten minutes or so.” He rushed to the door and slammed the door shut.
You let out a deep breath to regain your composure, and sat down again to type the reports. You thought again of Levi due to fact of that president nagging about his girlfriend. You hated the face of disappointment that he made when you forced him to go home.
“Levi, just shut up. Stop nagging and just go home already. I can take care of myself perfectly. I don’t need you to guard me all the time!”
“Fine then. I won’t argue anymore because you’re already getting angry. I’ll just go home. I want you to take care of yourself. I know you can, [name]; but if anything happens, just call.”
The tone in his voice was very disturbing, because he was really sad. You have seen a lot of his expressions for the past few weeks but you always hated to see that face of his. Even though you found it cute that he did, that type of face would always make a way to send shivers through your spine. But then, you continued to joke at that time.
“Please, nothing will happen to me. I promise you, Levi.”
You felt stupid to make him feel worse. At that point, you wished something happened so that you could call him.
And happened, it did.
---
You heard a banging on the wall. You looked at the door, but you saw no one coming in. You were a bit scared, but you were relieved when you heard the banging stop. You didn’t bother to look out the corridor and continued doing the reports.
Bang.
The lights went off, and so did the laptop. You frantically stood up, and went out the door. You saw that the lights in the corridor were also out. There were no windows, so you almost cannot see except for the lights at the end of the corridor. You took out your phone to call anyone to help you. It was until then that Levi’s voice rang through your ears.
“If anything happens, just call.”
You tried to call him, your fingers trembling as you pushed in the numbers. You placed it near your ear and heard a recipient’s voice. It was then you realized there was no signal reception anywhere around. Dumb luck. You simply returned the phone in your pocket.
And then, you heard someone scream. It came from one of the doors from your right. Then, you heard the banging once more. The sound crept closer and closer to you, as if it was transferring from door to door. And then, you felt someone whisper into your ear.
“Stop it.”
Then, it screamed right into your ear. It was a horrified shriek. It was from a girl. You didn’t know who she was. You didn’t want to know who she was. You covered your ears and closed your eyes shut. You didn’t want to see or know who that person was. You wanted to get out of there.
You started running for dear life. Your goal was to get out of school, pronto. But, it seemed that the corridor stretched for miles and that the light sat in the horizon. Still, you pursued to run. Tears were running down your face, and you could feel yourself trembling. You looked up, and you could not see clearly anymore, because your tears already clouded your ability to see. But, you did know that the light was getting stronger, yet smaller.
You felt tired. Your legs couldn’t carry you anymore, but you still ran; only to find out that you bumped into something, or someone. You finally collapsed and fell down on your knees.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” the voice said.
You continued to cry, but you could see clearly who that person was. It was Levi. He was holding up his cell phone letting out the light that you saw before.
“L-Levi…” you called out, continuing to cry.
He kneeled down in front of you and took out a handkerchief. He wiped the tears running down your cheek. “Well, look at little Miss I-can-take-care-of-myself. Not so strong, after all. Can’t even take a little blackout?” and then he let out a little chuckle.
“Shut up…” you said, still sniveling. “Y-you have n-no idea… what happened there…”
“I may or I may not see what happened but Jesus, please stop crying,” he said, trying to comfort you. “Whatever you saw there, don’t worry about it. I’m here. No need to be afraid.”
His attempts on stopping you to cry failed, because you cried harder. You hugged him. It took him by surprised but he also wrapped his arms around you. He then whispered to you, “You called a while ago. I wanted to answer, but it seemed you can’t be reached, or so the fucking phone said. I rushed in here, because I felt so damned worried. I’m just thankful you’re safe.”
You love everything about him. You love how his muscular arms are wrapped around your own frame. You love how your hands fit perfectly at his nape. You love how unexpectedly warm he was, because you once thought he was a cold-blooded animal. You love how his scent engulfed your senses.
Fuck the world, you want it to last. Forever.