"Being both soft and strong is a combination very few have mastered."
Now I knew what it felt like attending the choosing ceremony without having to choose. Even though it had only been a year, the memory was still very vivid. The new generation that stepped forth to choose, looked very young. I couldn't quite grasp that I had been that young.
I blew out a breath when Valentine noted my starring at Janine and shifted closer to me in his seat. "It's strange being back here, right." He whispered, leaning an elbow to the armrest and a hand under his chin.
I nodded without looking at him. I had been starring at Janine and my mother as they were seated in the front of the erudite row. It was expected of them to be here because they were part of erudite leadership. I scoffed at my own behavior. I was starring holes in the back of my mother's head. She had seen me arriving with the dauntless but had not granted me an ounce of her attention.
I couldn't fathom I sought her attention and the familiar anger that boiled up in me forced me to dig my nails into my arms. The pain that emerged overshadowed everything else and allowed me to regain myself in some sense. Val and I had found seats at the very top of the dauntless row. It would allow for a better view of the ceremony.
Then Val sank deeper into his chair, crossing his arms against his chest and throwing one leg over the other. It brought him to my level. I took a moment to take him in as he starred openly at the amity that had chosen to return to her faction. The older leader was actually quite handsome. Abby had been lucky. Val was tall, two heads taller than Eric. Though he was muscular, he was slimmer than most dauntless men. More agile. Hair below his ears, ruffled and disheveled, without any curls.
His exposed forearms revealed no tattoos, though I knew he had one on his right shoulder that traveled further up than I had been able to see whenever he whore a t-shirt. Val smiled when he noticed I was staring at him now. He was also a bit quiet compared to the loud nature of dauntless.
I returned his smile before turning back to look at Marcus, the abnegation leader. He was ending the choosing ceremony. Everyone had chosen. I mumbled the words faction before blood with everyone else before standing up, leaving my seat. "This was the last one, let's get going. Dauntless leaves first." Val jumped up from his seat as well, acting as if he momentarily had forgotten himself.
Valentine slid through the crowd with much ease. I felt impressed as he yelled at the dauntless. "Initiates, follow us!" Val gestured with a wide wave of his arm. I smiled at the sight finally getting to stand next to him as well. "You lead, same way as last year." Valentine turned to me next. I jumped, a small gasp leaving me as my head jerked to him. Was he really telling me to lead?
I eased into a more relaxing stance before turning to the door behind us. "Keep up." I winked at Val before pushing the door open. I ran down the stairs, taking two steps at the time sometimes. I was quite impressed that I managed to stay on my feet when we burst out onto the street. I sucked in a deep breath, closing my eyes momentarily to enjoy the change of air before upping my pace and sprinted down the open road.
The people walking there dispersed, opening a path for the dauntless as we sprinted towards the train tracks. I could easily hear the excited dauntless behind me, whooping, yelling, and laughing loudly as they followed me. I was a fast runner, and this was a short distance, so I could run even faster without worrying. There were only a few matching my speed. Two of which were older dauntless assigned to accompany us. One of them faintly familiar.
I slowed down when reaching the train tracks, elevated from the ground. The yellow pillars hadn't change at all. The two older dauntless that had matched my speed, looked to me. I nodded and they began to climb. I made sure the next arriving understood what we were doing before I climbed myself. Val had been among the next to arrive, his shoulders heaving as he definitely had been struggling to keep up.
He pushed a hand through his hair, getting it out of his eyes before instructing the newcomers to climb as well. I had only seen because I had hesitated below the platform, hanging in my arms before pulling myself up. I attained a position in the front, making sure that everyone got up onto the platform securely.
Val found me not long after, still breathing heavier than normal, but looked like he was having fun. "Take the front cart, I'll take the bottom. Mariah and Zephyr will take those in the middle." Val instructed just as the train turned the corner. I nodded before sprinting along the train tracks.
I aligned myself with the door before I grabbed the side, throwing a foot up onto a small piece of metal while hoisting myself up. I slammed my palm against the button to open the door. It hissed and opened, allowing me to get inside. A few transfers joined me in the front cart. But they were quiet, occasionally looking at me from the corner of their eyes.
I had moved to lean against the side of the train, one foot raised, resting against the side of the train. My arms were crossed, and head tilted forwards. I knew I didn't look as dauntless as others from my faction, but it was enough. Today I had gone with a formfitting t-shirt, showing off the tattoos on my forearms.
After a while I pushed away from the wall and moved to the still open door. I looked out, searching for the rooftop I knew we would jump out onto. I saw it rapidly approaching. "Get ready—" I announced, shortly looking at the transfers in the cart before out towards the rooftop again. "—we jump in five."
I ignored their mumbles and questions. When the rooftop was only a turn away, I moved back into the cart. I found the back of it again, and smirked at the initiates before dashing forwards, throwing myself out of the cart towards the rooftop. For the few seconds I was flying through the air, I felt weightless and free. When I landed, I stumbled but remained on my feet.
My attention shifted to Eric that was waiting on the edge of the rooftop. Like last year he's standing on top of the raised ledge, hands folded in front of him. He smile just for me when I run over but it vanished again when Valentine joined us. The two other dauntless, Zephyr and Mariah, also joined not long after. I turn around to witness the initiates now on the rooftop.
They're all spread around, some even still lying on the ground. I chuckled at the sight before leaning against the ledge Eric is standing on. Val does the same on the other side of him. "Alright, gather around." Eric disrupts the excited atmosphere between the initiates. They all turn towards us. I watch many unfamiliar faces approach, though a few of the dauntless born are a little familiar to me, I know none of their names.
When they're all gathered in front of us, Eric jumps down, knees bending softly when he hits the ground. "Listen up. I'm Eric, one of your leaders." He presented himself. Eric isn't the type who look extremely happy about this, he makes an effort to come across as cold and distanced because he isn't really happy that he has to oversee the training again this year, so most of the initiates doesn't even dare look at him.
Eric then turned to me momentarily, or his eyes did before he shifted back to the initiates. "If you want to enter Dauntless this is the way in." Eric gestured behind him. "And if you don't have the guts to jump, you don't belong in Dauntless." He shrugged before gathering his hands in front of him again. I roll my eyes. It's not often I see this dramatic side of his.
But there's only silence. It takes a while before one of them dare ask a question. "Is there water at the bottom or something?" An erudite transfer asks. Everyone turned to him, and he blushed. He's quite tall as well and sticks out. The edges of my mouth twists upward. It was the same Luke had asked when we stood here as initiates a year ago.
Eric scoffs. "Why don't you jump and find out." He is genuine and gestures to the abyss behind him again. It's a slow gesture. But the boy steps back. "Or not." Eric seems disappointed before he shrugs in annoyance and rolled his eyes. "Someone has to go first." He continued. I could feel him getting more and more annoyed. "Well, who's it going to be?"
Another eerie silence erupts. No one even looks up after Eric had spoken. They all shift uncomfortably while looking at the ground. I even notice some kick a few stones away. "Me, I'll go." An abnegation girl suddenly spoke up. I hadn't even noticed her earlier. A small gray figure then steps forth. Eric is silenced for a moment, looking a little impressed as he step aside.
I shift to stand on my feet again following Eric away from the ledge as the girl takes her cardigan off. "Take it off stiff—put it back on." A candor grinned. I grimaced, everyone else was snickering. Another smart mouth Candor. Just great, it was just what dauntless needed. Eric shifted in front of me as the grey figure climbed onto the raised ledge.
She shook as she straightened up, gaining her balance again. She then look down, taking in the abyss below. There is nothing to see but I had done the exact same. Eric shifts again and I grab his arm. From the look he sent me I knew he had been tempted to push her. "Today initiate." Eric groaned impatiently. The abnegation jolted, turning back to look at Eric before she actually jumped.
Everyone gasp, a few initiates dash forwards to look over the edge. There's nothing to see and most of them retract again. "Next!" Eric command, voice tight. Some jump and others seem determined now that an abnegation had jumped first. One by one the initiates jump. The last one leaving the roof was a very nervous amity transfer.
Zephyr and Mariah drops next, once they're gone Eric reaches for my arm. He yanked me back to him. His arms move around my waist when his lips crashes against mine in a passionate kiss. Val groans, I don't even have to look at him to know he's also rolling his eyes before he jumps over the ledge, plunging into the darkness below.
I was taken aback by Eric's sudden neediness, but I liked it very much. I smiled against his lips before releasing him. "See you at the bottom." He smirked. He placed his lips against mine in a short kiss before he released me. I watched him turn to the ledge. He dashed forward, throwing himself towards the ledge. He placed one hand on it as he threw his legs over, dropping into the darkness below.
I roll my eyes before walking to the ledge. I look down and wait a few seconds before climbing up onto it as well. I turn around and tilt backwards, arms sprayed out to the side. I was suspended in the air for no more than a few seconds before being swallowed by the net again. I bounced back up a few times, then coming to lie completely still.
I don't even have time to laugh before the net is pulled down. I roll around, settling on my stomach in front of Eric. He smirks to me. "What, felt dramatic?" He questioned. "I saw your little stunt." He smiled, eyes momentarily shifting to the shadow of the rooftop visible from where we were. I laughed when he helped me down. His hands moved underneath my arms and he lifted me off the net as if I was nothing. I grabbed onto his shoulders once he placed me down onto the ground.
My eyes scanned the crowd. The initiates were all huddled together in one corner. The dauntless born weren't looking that impressed but the transfer initiates were a whole other story. It must've been how I had looked when coming here the first time. "Dauntless born go with Lauren, transfers stay with me—Go!" Four instructed and stepped forth.
The dauntless born jumped into action and followed Lauren out of the room. I smiled to her when she passed us but nothing more. I hadn't really spoken to her before. Four paced impatiently. "Most of the time I work in intelligence but during your training I'll be your instructor. My names Four." Four paced in a circle before coming to face the transfer initiates. Eric wrapped his arm around my waist before he guided me away from the initiates, our job was done.
"Four like the number?" One of the transfers snickered and I halt in the doorway, forcing Eric to stop as well. I turn to look, curious as hell. Another candor smart mouth, brave enough to challenge Four. I raise an eyebrow and Eric scoffs.
"Exactly like the number." Four smirks uncomfortably. Eric tug impatiently and my head snaps back to him with a what expression painted all over. Eric rolls his eyes and the candor laughs at Four. I really wanted to witness this.
"What happened, one, two, three were taken?" Her words made me smile before going with Eric. There was no way she would get away with that knowing Four. Eric grabbed my hand and guided me out of the training room. I allow him to pull me along. He's acting quite impatient.
I had enjoyed watching Four torment the new initiates but there was still a certain dread that had settled in my gut. Eric was to resume watching over the training. And that would properly force him back in his old ways. I looked at the ground through lowered lashes and doesn't notice Eric suddenly stopped. I crash directly into him and my attention snap back up.
In front of us stands none other than Janine, Max at her side and a small group of erudite guards behind her. Eric released my hand, but I noticed how Janine's gaze had dropped, she had seen our joined hands. "Eric." She then greeted and gathered her folder in front of her. "Great. Will you join us in intelligence?" Janine try to sound unbothered but us holding hands had definitely touched a nerve.
Eric blew out a breath before he nod. I step aside but he doesn't let me go that easily. I know his next move is completely out of spite towards his mother. Eric grab the back of my neck and bring me closer before claiming a kiss. I melt against him and grab a handful of his shirt. It's not often he shows me this kind of affection, especially around others.
I relished in the attention and claimed another small kiss before stepping away from him. I watch him follow his mother and Max down the hall. Janine actually turn to look at me before they turn the corner. I roll my eyes and turn away. This was not the way I had wanted to tell his mother, nor my own. Janine would undoubtedly tell my mother once she returned to erudite.
I groaned at the thought, but mostly because it bothered me, I had reacted like this. I secured a strand of hair behind my ear before I decided to go find Roxy. Her belly had started showing and I really needed some company that would take my mind of things.