Kailah
"Our sincerest gratitude for your benevolent hospitality, truly. " Salem bowed before looking at me and then walking towards the exit. I followed immediately; I knew I was responsible for making this whole conversation awkward and it was eating me alive.
I shouldn't have come. I shouldn't have come at all. I should never come to these things again.
Before I knew it we were outside the large ominous doors. In the back of my thoughts I could hear hurried footsteps. I felt a tug on my arm, gentle not harsh, the action turning me around towards the house again. It was the woman from earlier, kind and caring, it was Karin. She held onto both my shoulders, the warmth of her touch warming my own.
"Kailah, please, don't take what he said to heart. Remember what I told you earlier, before you walked over to them, it's the truth. Don't ponder on his words, okay?" She smiled. If I was going to be honest, half of me understood what she said. The other half was too busy overthinking and longing for the comfort of being alone. So I smiled back, hoping that would be competent enough; she seemed to accept it and just as gently as she held on to me, she let me go. Turning away made my feet feel so heavy, trying to catch up to Salem fast enough made them feel even heavier.
Sitting atop the familiar black leather of the car brought me paris. I would be getting back to my familiar sightings soon, and that was enough to quiet the voices that flooded my mind. Outside the blossoms, that embodied everything spring is, waltzed back and forth.
Somehow the affable dance reminded me of the compassion of Karin and her tender attempts to keep me down to earth.
"Kailah, please, don't take what he said to heart. Remember what I told you earlier, before you walked over to them, it's the truth. Don't ponder on his words, okay?"
I never left our home. So I never met many people. I've never come across someone so considerate before. When that man called my name, it felt as if lightening struck right through me. I felt like a lamb, thrown out in a safari of lions. I felt that sinking feeling in my body that you feel when you can't speak or think or anything. My mind and everything in it become the color of lifelessness. Then, I could only make out Karin's voice; humor and generosity and every emotion of happiness in between.
"Don't let him fool you Kailah. Behind that stern voice, dark hair, and lifeless eyes, is a little boy who never got to live. You may be full of nerves, but I'd take that over a grown man with the mentality and maturity of a 5 year old any day."
Then she smiled at me, and sent me on my way to the lion. After what she said I wasn't really anxious over the man, but the situation I was intertwined in. I knew that the conversation would derive to myself, and I didn't want that. I didn't want the responsibility of wavering the conversation at hand.
I was slipping through all the seams when the man clarified that if I dropped the porcelain china and shattered it, it would be a huge weight on his parents' shoulders. That was the last thing I could ever want. Karin's words helped me stay strong, but it only lasted for so long. To say I was embarrassed was to say the least. For all I know he could have been joking, but I knew myself better than anyone and I could stand trial as the only witness with a steady confirmation of how clumsy I am. That must have been why her last attempt of cheering me up sounded so sincere and anguished at the same time.
"Are you well Kailah?"
A little heaviness returned when I heard Salem's voice; the confrontation I truly did not want to live through.
"Yes, I am." I responded.
"Uncertain? Or definitely?" She asked once more.
"What do you mean?"
"The drive back home is indeed a little less than long; but not too minimal of short, yet you have not uttered a single syllable. Why is that? What exactly is running through your highbrow?"
I was taken aback abruptly, for two reasons. One, Salem reacting in some kind of concern was something else. Two, the anxiety that maybe this was a question that would lead me into some kind of guilt, that I wouldn't be expecting.
"I'm...somewhat embarrassed."
I confessed.
"Embarrassed? About what, child?"
There was some silence. It wasn't uncomfortable it was simply, there. A moment's peace.
"I apologize for acting as cowardly as I did. I didn't mean to give an impression of you being of ill will."
My skin winced as we passed the last tide of mountain sides and the sunlight was free to roam on my skin.
"Listen to me closely Kailah–" I looked over to her, sitting up straight and certain, hands on the wheel delicately, focused. "–the second after an act takes place, it is no longer the present, but the past. Once you are handed a card in the game of life, you cannot simply take it, comply, and move backwards to rid yourself of it or any chagrin that may come of it. You can only accept it, and carry on forward. You must learn from that act. Whatever it may bring as well. I only know this to be certain as I fell victim to it long ago."
She hadn't looked at me once. It was almost a confession, at least it sounded more of that than a lecture. An act I was incredibly grateful for in this moment.
"Yes ma'am." I smiled.
The plains outside lit up a luminescent hue of green as the sun was now right above us. It wasn't long before we were back home. A median house in the depths of the green plains.
Relief washed over me when the car came to a stop; opening the door and seeing the familiar amber gravel beneath my feet gifted me a happiness I can't explain. By the time I closed the door shut, Salem was already waiting for me by the door step, I quickly followed. Everything inside appeared to be the exact same as before we had left. There wasn't much of a ruckus going on, yet.
"Kailah I know you must be drained. You've had a very eventful start of your day; you should get some rest before the girls begin their routine."
"Yes ma'am." I answered, turning to walk up the stairwell.
The girls. I wasn't looking forward to it. It is a business here, and being that Salem runs it so methodically and strictly, it's quite the success. That being said, many of the girls here come and go; most will come as runaways, having no where to go. They often turn to Salem in refuge. The House is an escort service, but it doesn't surround itself around sex, or lust, or anything like that. It's simply its name, the girls here are escorts, company, a companion to have for the night and nothing more. So in a sense, it's a much more admirable alternative than becoming a stripper. They stay for a while, save some money, and leave when they're stable, and then the cycle continues.
None of them are bad company, it's quite the opposite actually. Since the majority have left hardships behind, they all seem to come along with an open-mind, and a caring heart. I haven't come across any one who I wouldn't consider a friend; but they don't lodge for too long, so as quickly as I befriend them, they go along their ways.
And then there's Nadia. When I was about 15, a young girl ran here to this house and begged Salem to allow her to work for her. She and Salem spoke for a long time, and so she stayed here. Nadia would later befriend me, and tell me she ran here the night of her 18th birthday because she had to leave her "home". Although she would never call it that. She had gone through her fair share of domestic violence and abuse of all kinds, and decided to run the second she could. She hasn't left here since. Nadia and I are three years apart; her 21st birthday just passed, as did my 18th.
Seeing as she never left, we became very close; she quickly became like an older sister to me. I used to sleep in the attic, not because I was forced to, but because I enjoyed the desolation. After so long, Nadia invited me to bunk with her, which I eagerly accepted. So Salem switched out her full mattress to a queen, and we share it comfortably.
My inner monologue came to a stop when I realized I had just taken the last step up the stairs to the second floor. I turned into the familiar plaster hall and stepped on the corny "go away" mat outside Nadia's door. Knock knock knock. I heard some fidgeting. A groan.
"Be right there just give me a second!"
More groaning, and then something that sounded like fabric ripping.
"Fuck!" Nadia grunted from the other side. "I'll be right there, whoever you are don't you dare leave I can't have one more damn thing go wrong!"
"It's okay Nadia just take your time." I laughed.
"Kailah?!" She exclaimed. Heavy footsteps trampled closer to the door in front of me before it barged open. What a sight! There was Nadia, evening gown half up, hanging below her chest. Maybe she couldn't exactly reach the back zipper.
"Kailah you're back! Thank god, I need help pronto! Get in! Now, now!" She flapped her hand back and forth quickly, any faster and she could have learned the gift of flight.
I scurried in, grateful to finally be in my comfort zone. Nadia slammed the door shut and huffed profanity left and right while I sat legs criss crossed on the comfy bed. Nadia's room was a good medium size, not extravagant but much bigger than the attic of course. She decided to theme her room in hues of peach. So everything corresponded around that theme. The furniture was a mix of minimalist and somewhat Victorian; suiting her sophisticated and sweet personality, neither of which were on display this very second. She turned away from the door, fists in a ball, and hair up in a messy bun. She continued to make faces at herself in the body length mirror. I understand it must have been frustrating for her but seeing her walk around like a half peeled banana was too much not to laugh at. I couldn't help but giggle a little. She turned quickly in my direction, clearly not feeling the same way.
"I'm sorry Nadia–" I sighed. "–but what exactly happened?"
"Brunch happened! I don't know what you added to those eggs this morning–" She reiterated, fighting off the dress down to her knees. "–but I went back for a second plate and decided that maybe I wanted to see what my outfit would like tonight. Everything was going well until the devil decided to sprinkle his devious fairy dust over my head! I struggled so much the seam from the zipper ripped off so now I have two options!" She held up two fingers in a V and proceeded to pace around her pastel peach rug in her undergarments. "One, I go get superglue and glue this dress up to filth! Or two, I go buy a whole new dress entirely! But considering it's almost 4, the event is at 7 and the boutique that caters my needs closes at 6, I don't have enough time for a fitting, altercations and a glass of wine so glue it is!" She huffed her way to the door before turning again. "Oh and also, why do you still knock when you're on the other end of the door?! This is your room too you know, just walk in I don't care!"
I tried my hardest to suppress my laughter but I couldn't at this point. "Nadia it's okay calm down!" I lowered my legs off the bed and stood. "First of all, you don't need super glue to fix your dress unless you want to complete the disaster look. I can stitch the seam of the dress and the zipper together from the inside again, it's no problem. And second, I respect your privacy." I tilted my head and smiled.
"Huh." She put her hands on her hips and sighed, relief I can assume. "Well, thank you kindly. You sure are a godsend you know that?"
I picked up her dress and walked over to her vanity. I opened up an old cookie car I kept with all kinds of tools necessary for emergencies like this. I pulled out a small needle, some black thread and some puny little scissors before making my way back to the bed and began my miracle. A godsend huh?
"So I've been told." I smiled.