"Tha- that doesn't make sense.. We've been dating for less than two weeks." I stuttered, finally letting what Michael just told me sink in.
"Well maybe he's cutting again, but whether you're ready to hear it from him or not, I pray to god that it's the other reason." Calum replied.
"Gemma, Luke's been through a lot of shit in his life and most of it has been from people so if he finds someone who's different, he's gonna like you so much that he's scared of getting pushed away." Michael added.
"We should get looking." Calum said.
Immediately the three of us split up around the almost deserted park looking for Luke.
Calum searched around the Playground.
Michael searched around all the trees and I searched around the ponds and the lake.
After fifteen minutes of seeing nobody at all, I spotted the blonde sitting on a rock facing the lake.
"L-Luke?" I approached him cautiously, we still weren't certain what his reason was for going contactless.
He sighed and turned to face me.
His hair was ruffled, his eyes were red and puffy and he looked like he hadn't slept in days which didn't make sense because he seemed fine earlier.
"Luke, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He huffed.
"You're clearly not."
"Then why did you ask?!" He snapped and I took a step back.
He sighed.
"I'm sorry. I ju.. you should go." He added.
"I'm not leaving you like this."
"You should."
"But I won't."
I joined him on the rock whether he liked it or not.
He stayed silent and I put my head on his shoulder.
"What's going on?"
"Nothing." He huffed.
"You can talk to me, Luke. You know that."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Luke, what's going on?"
"Just go home, Gemma!" He snapped.
"Let me see your wrists."
"What?"
"Let me see your wrists."
He moved his arms cautiously towards me and when I pulled up the sleeves of his hoody, I let out a massive sigh.
No cuts.
Yes, there were a few scars from previous cuts that had healed over but they were barely noticeable and the scars told me two things.
1. His wrists actually are where he seems to choose to cut.
and
2. He isn't self harming anymore.
"Oh thank god." I mumbled.
"You should go now." He replied.
I was left with one conclusion.
"Luke, don't."
"What?"
"Don't push me away."
"It's for your own benefit." He replied.
"Is it though?"
"Yes, Gemma it is!"
"Can you tell me why?" I asked, getting slightly frustrated with him.
"No I can't. And no matter what the boys told you, they don't know the half of it!"
"Luke, this relationship can't work if you push me awa-"
"THEN MAYBE WE JUST SHOULDN'T HAVE ONE!"
I got down off the rock and stood facing him.
"T-Tell me those words didn't just come out of your mouth." I mumbled, looking at my feet.
He stayed silent.
I looked up and he was still sitting quietly on the rock, fiddling with his thumbs.
"Do you really feel that way?" I asked, tears welling in my eyes.
"It's for the best."
I bit my lip and tried to stop the tears from falling.
His eyes met mine and I nodded.
"Okay." I replied, barely above a whisper.
"Do I at least get an explanation?" I asked.
He stayed silent again.
I wiped a few tears off of my cheeks and began my walk back to the gate.
When I got back to the gate, Michael and Calum saw me crying and immediately ran towards me.
"Gemma, are you okay?" Michael asked.
"Michael, can we go?" I asked.
"Did you find him?" Calum asked, understandably concerned about his friend.
"Yeah, he's fine."
"What happened to you?" Michael asked.
"Nothing. Can we go?"
"Gemma I ju-"
"Mikey can you just take me home?! Please!" I snapped and he nodded.
"I'll call you later, Cal." He called as we headed to the car.
When Michael dropped me home, there was still an hour left of school which I wasn't attending. And I was still majorly upset.
As soon as it came to 3pm, I knew school would be finished and I had to talk to someone.
Any chance you could come over? I really need someone to talk to :( xx
- Gem
There was only one person I knew would be able to help me get through this.
Ash🙃: On my way! Xx
I had to tell him everything, and it was now or never.
a/n - short update but I won't be updating for two weeks because I'm on holiday and don't wanna spend the whole time on my phone.
AND I HAVE TO THANK YOU GUYS SO FREAKING MUCH FOR 3.8K READS!!