It's not even funny how many times I banged my head against the wall and was so close to throwing up. You have absolutely no idea.
This is what I do for comedy.
Coming up with this cringe worthy and disgusting crap. *shudders* ;;-;;
Omfg i died ten billion times during this. You have no idea the hell I went though during this. Absolutely no idea.
Appreciate what I went through for your entertainment. Appreciate it.
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Cooper would like to think that out of all of his siblings he was the one that messes up the least, the one that was the most organized if you will. Heck he decided- he chose to be apart of Britain's commonwealth oppose to being a French colony. Meanwhile everyone else just ended up like that one way or another, heck Jett was made up by a bunch of criminals at the beginning which further proved Cooper's point that messing up wasn't exactly his thing. Especially when considering the fact that Jett managed to lose to a bunch of birds even when given machine guns. The kiwi was basically an angel child compared to the 'Tasmanian Devil' with how much cleaner his record was compared to his fellow southern country.
But now, the first time in what felt like centuries Cooper screwed up. He screwed up bad.
He was honestly so terrified with how bad he screwed up that he believed he would be having nightmares for a millennia. With everything that he was seeing, he felt as if he intruded on something that should be locked in a vault til the end of time.
They were just being too nice to each other, showing one another too much affection for it to be realistic when considering their personalities. It was about the worse thing he ever had to experience.
Especially with what was going on right now.
Currently they were in the kitchen, Dreamz appearing to be making something with Arthur hugging her from behind with hsi chin rested on her shoulder. They were laughing, they were teasing one another. They were actually having fun and enjoying each other's company.
"This is really bad." Murmured Cooper, tearing his eyes away from the terrible sight there. He looked so distressed and terrified that you would think someone burned up his Lord of the Rings merchandise. This was absolutely no laughing matter.
He moved away from the area near the kitchen, trying to get out of ear short of the giggling and fluffy stuff was going on back there. With a shaking hand he took out his phone, calling up someone he hope that could aid him in this time of need. He couldn't go through this alone, he absolutely could not.
"Cooper, hey mate! Been a while."
"Jett." He breathed, eyes flickering back to the direction of where the pair was still at. "I messed up... Real bad. I need you here. Now."
"How bad we're talking about?"
"Alien invasion bad."
"...I'll be there in a few."
Nothing could prepared Jett when he strolled into Cooper's home, eyes landing on the hate now love- birds on the couch. Arthur was sitting there glancing from the TV to Dreamz who had her head on his lap, a small smile on her face as she poked the blonde's face.
"Uh... The fuck?" He cocked his head to the side, absolute puzzled for why this was happening. Did he miss something?
"Jett!" He turned to see Cooper's head poking out from the closet that was under his staircase, green eyes swimming with fear. "Get in here! It's safe."
Still so incredibly confused Jett took careful steps to the kiwi, joining him in the dark closet.
"Why... Are we in here Cooper?" He asked slightly bewildered. "And what's going on with sheila and Arthur?"
"Well I was trying to do a spell and... It sorta backfired."
"So you mean they love each other now?"
"I think so."
Silence followed that and then all of the sudden laughter, making the shorter boy jump in the air out of shock. Jett clutched the wall as he continued to laugh, unable to believe that this was actually happening meanwhile Cooper looked at him not understanding his reaction. Why wasn't he scared? He should be scared. He has to be scared. He couldn't be okay with this!
"Why aren't you laughing?" He whispered. "It isn't normal! You shouldn't be laughing."
"I'm sorry Coops but this is the most fucking hilarious thing I've heard. Have you started recording them yet? Oh please tell me you have."
"Jett! This is serious!" Explained Cooper, trying to get the reality of the situation through his brother's evidently thick skull. "We need to do something! We can't leave them like this, it's not normal."
"So? We just leave them. They seem pretty happy together."
"But it's not normal. They're acting more perky, none of them has said a sarcastic thing or even swore!"
"If it bothers you that much just knock them out."
Cooper paled even further at that, eyes widening even more as he slowly shook his head, "no... No... We can't do that."
"Sure we can! Just get a bat or if ya want we could fetch a didgeridoo and-"
"Jett, knocking them out might make it worse." Cooper hissed. He was starting to think that calling Jett was a problem.
"Okay but Coops it ain't that bad of a thing. Think of all the blackmail we can get from this mate! Think of the pictures, the videos. Think of the possibilities."
"I still don't like it."
"Well I do. Tell ya what Coops you work on getting them back to normal and I'll keep them apart so they won't give ya any nightmares, that good?"
He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. It was true he didn't exactly trust Jett with a task like this at all but he decided that the pair would be less angry when they're back to normal a good distance away from the other.
"Okay... Just make sure they don't do anything drastic... I don't know if their memories will be wiped from this or not."
"She'll be right Coops. Stop worrying." Grinned Jett, already thinking of plans to mess with the pair. Oh this was going to be an absolute beauty to watch.
Without any more further discussion the two exited from the tight cupboard, Cooper instantly taking off to the attic leaving Jett to wonder over to the couch where the two was still there. He leaned onto it, grinning at them.
"Hey sheila?"
"Mmm?" She replied, looking over to her considered brother. She looked way too content with what was going on.
"Mind if I borrow Arthur for a sec?" Grinned Jett, looking so devious and mischievous at the moment that it was almost surprising how she didn't appear to be skeptical.
"Okay..." She said slowly frowning slightly.
"Don't worry about it love." Arthur said placing a kiss on her forehead before moving away. "We won't be too long."
"I'll be timing you." She joked as she sat up, flicking the channel to something else.
Jett in the meantime couldn't help but smirk as he lead Arthur away from the living room to the kitchen where he closed the door for added privacy. He grinned as he turned to look at the blonde, fiddling with his phone before placing it on the near by counter top so that it could record everything that was going to be spoken.
"So Arthur..." Started of Jett, looking at the brother with an aura of glee and mischief. "Took Dreamz out on a date yet?"
Arthur blinked, going through the question, "uh no. I believe I have not."
"Well you might wanna hurry up there mate." Said Jett. "She ain't gonna be waiting forever ya know. Might as well ask her to be your sheila and give her a pash."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Oh right, sorry-" Jett smirked, "kiss."
"I... I can't do that. Don't be ridiculous!" Stated Arthur going a bright shade of red out of embarrassment.
"Aw c'mon mate. Why not? She's ready. Just go ahead and do it now." Jett encouraged trying so badly not to crack up. "I mean you've always wanna do that to her, right?"
"Y- yes that's true but-"
"Well there ya go! If you want to do it then go and do it! You can't back out now anyways mate, you'll hurt her heart if you do that."
"I guess... I guess you're quite right on that." Said Arthur now having consider it and seeing absolutely nothing wrong with it whatsoever. He breathed in, squaring his shoulders. "Yeah.. Yeah I think I'll go ahead and do it. I'll tell her."
"That's my man." Grinned Jett clamping his brother on the back. "I'm right behind ya, every step of the way. Now c'mon, think you lead her on long enough." And with that Arthus was sent back out with a new purpose to fullfill. A purpose that caused Jett to laugh for a good few minutes before remembering that he needed to catch the thing on tape. So snatching up his phone he quietly exited the kitchen, sneaking up on the pair that was now quietly talking.
The seconds tick by and much to Jett's enjoyment they ended up kissing, to which he took a picture of it trying so desperately not to laugh at what was going on. He had no idea why Cooper would want to change them back, Jett couldn't remember the last time he had this much fun messing with people.
Now before anyone else could happen Jett selected the picture and decided to share it with every single of his contacts believing that they would want this piece of blackmail as well for whenever the two decided to bother them. And just as soon as he did that the house shook again, lights flickering on and off. And for some reason there seemed to be an added force that threw Arthur, Dreamz and Jett all in separate directions, the trio groaning in pain when landing roughly onto the ground.
When the foundation finally stopped shaking Cooper's light footsteps were heard as he hurried down the staircase, eyes wide with hope that everything was fixed.
"Please tell me it worked." He whispered, eyeing the blonde and red head.
"Jesus Christ Cooper." Said Jett, rubbing the back of his head. "You need to get better with that magic of yours mate, ya gonna kill someone."
"Sorry." He apologized looking guilty. "Are you two okay?"
"Oh yeah because being thrown on the other side of the room and crashing into a potted plant immediately means I'm okay." Seethed out the red head who still had her eyes closed. "I am never going to hang around you when you're doing your magic ever again Cooper. Ever again."
"Sorry, I just-"
"Oh don't apologized." Said Arthur, now sitting up looking incredibly annoyed. "The imbecile just doesn't understand how much effort and work is put into such thing."
"Arthur it isn't healthy when you talk about yourself in the third person."
The blonde opened his mouth about to reply but Cooper cut in, a rather important question in mind.
"Do you guys remember what happened the last few minutes?" He queried, biting his lip as he prayed that the answer would be no.
"Should we?" They both asked back, now looking over to the Kiwi opposed to glaring at one another.
At that statement Jett grinned, checking back at his phone to see he was already getting replies from the picture that he had sent out. "Nah mates. Nothing much happened anyways."
"Wait, Jett when did you get here?"
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Excuse me as I go bathe in holy water and cry for centuries.
My mind palace is not my happy place.
I don't think I'll ever be going back there again.
Also it saddens me that this came close to 2000 words... 2000 words of absolute torture.