Austin:
"A--Alex?"
His expression was numb. He wasn't smiling, he wasn't sad, he wasn't angry. He was just there.
I had the chance to say something, but I didn't.
What was I supposed to say? That she attacked me? Huh, I wouldn't believe in myself either.
He walked away. No words, no moves, simply left. I looked back at Vanessa, now with anger filling my veins. I ran behind Alex as soon as it happened, but it was not enough. He had joined everyone in the living room already. I could never call him out like that, it would be so obvious. I looked right and left, trying to despiste the fact that I had just kissed a girl, but not my girl.
Lauren looked at me and smiled. I felt disgusted at myself. I faked a smile back at her, feeling awful. I never in a million years would've thought that my ex would kiss me all of the sudden. The flashbacks of her lips touching mines just made me cringe. She showed up and sat down by Lauren's side. I couldn't even react. My hands were placed on my forehead while my elbows were on my knees.
"What's up Austin?" Robert asked me sounding a little worried.
"It's nothing, just-- just nothing"
It really was nothing. I had no specific feeling. There is no name for what I felt, more of a combination of horrible things.
I fucked it up.
*****
"Alex, I'm going out for groceries shopping? Do you want to go with me?" Lauren asked, turning at him.
"Yeah! I'm sure Austin would love to go with us!" he responded and smirked at me. I couldn't believe he was treating me that way, but I understood.
Stupid, stupid.
I couldn't tell her. It probably looks easy to just go up to her and be like "Oh hey, I cheated on you" and she would just forgive me and move on. I couldn't see myself without her.
Along with this, I couldn't lie to her. I wouldn't be able to even be around her hiding something like this. It wasn't about Alex knewing it, it was about I knewing.
Gosh, what am I supposed to do?
I moved up to her standing there just looking at her. I held her hand and led her to the balcony, alone. She had a shining smile printed on her face, slowly fading as I kept talking.
"But-- How did that even-- How?" she asked with her eyes glowing, like she was holding back tears. It killed me to see her like that. It killed me knowing that it was my fault. She was my angel that was breaking down.
A tear ran down my face, landing across the hand I hold. Hers.
She looked down and took her a while to look back at me. "It wasn't my fault, I swear. I only need you Lauren, please".
"I can't-- I-- I need some time by myself"
My heart dropped. She was lost and confused on the thought. Picturing me and Vanessa just made me disgusted, I couldn't even think about it.
Without a word, she let go of my hand by I didn't let her go. I couldn't accept the fact that she was letting go of me.
I pushed her hand in my direction, bringing her body closer to mine. She looked up in my direction. I slowly approached her lips.
In that moment, we found peace.
It was like nothing had just happened. It was always like this. Our lips moved along. I felt a tear that fell from her cheek over my chin, leaving it to the floor.
"I love you" I said, not needing to say anything else.
She looked at me. No answer, not even one muscle in her body moved. She was standing there staring at me. It was like she didn't heard.
Lauren:
Say something, stupid. I couldn't let a word slip out of my mouth, I couldn't do anything.
(A/N)
I know this chapter is short but I wanted to keep the tension.
Always appreciating the love I get from you guys, a truly thanks for me.
Ps: I don't know if you all checked out my profile lately but I am writing a new fanfiction that I am obsessed with. If you have the time, you should read "Risky Kisses", my best work so far and the one I'm most proud of.