All things can tempt me from this craft of verse
One time it was a women’s face, or worse
The seeming needs of my fool-driven land;
Now nothing comes but readier to the hand
Than this accustomed toil.
All Things Can Tempt Me, W.B Yeats
At the wide Gateway a figure crossed in the morning mist. Tamar held her tongue while she tried to recognise him. His bulky figure stomped sluggishly along.
“Mrots? Wait, please!” She called out quietly.
He stopped in his tracks and turned to her. She caught up with him, forgetting quite how large he was, how rough his face was and how many battle scars crisscrossed his skin. His dancing inked figures seemed to be slowly awaking in the morning light, flexing and stretching. They must have enjoyed the night also, she thought.
“Yes, favoured one of Elior?” he asked in roguish yawn.
“May I ask you where Elior is?” Tamar tried to feign indifference.
“I last saw him with you, exiting by the water fall. I did not see him return.” He slurred.
“Oh, well, thank you.” She said, cringing at his stale breath. She scurried to give him a wide berth as he decided the conversation was finished.
“Make sure not to wake the beasts!” he laughed gruffly over his shoulder to her. She only watched him for a second before hurrying off to find the hollow tree. The courtyard was deserted. It was much harder to find the tree than she thought seeing as she had paid so little attention when brought here the first time. She really had been quite blind to it all at first she realised. But it hardly mattered now. Elior’s freedom mattered and with that she could help. Tree after tree she analysed, searching from every angle for an entrance. It took some time but after a while she knew she’d found it when it appeared like a wall in front of her, the most weathered and battered of them all.
The Night Ball had ceased to hold its magic over Tamar as she walked up the twisted stair case, occasionally stepping over creatures that hadn’t made it home. They smelt of stale sweat and smoke making Tamar retch inside. She moved around them carefully, not wishing to know what a startled Fallen was like when awoken by a stranger. The dance floor was scattered with dirt and slime and creatures lay passed out in dribs around the edges. The exhausted moon orbs bounced lightly around her, the only conscious being. She paused for a moment in the middle of the floor and felt pity surge through her for these pathetic beings. They had danced themselves sick, indulging in all the delights of the night for that momentary fix of satisfaction, only to awake the morning after with a little less dignity then before. A little further from redemption and craving that little bit more of things they couldn’t understand, ready to start the whole process again the following night. Elior wasn’t one of them.
Tip toeing further she reached the waterfall and passed by it to the outer walk ways. She noted how different it looked in the daylight, much like everything else here. The leaves seemed to hang lifeless and limp, the trees not bothering to feel the breeze when it passed through. Going carefully across the bridge Tamar found Elior almost exactly where she’d left him. He had shuffled back to lean against the bark and fallen asleep there. Eyelids resting he still looked unsettled and tense. It saddened her to know that even in his sleep he didn’t feel safe, he never knew peace.
She crouched down and laid a hand on his shoulder as she had the night before. At the connection of her palm to his cloak Tamar was thrown to the floor with his hand around her throat, there was no time to scream. As soon as it had happened it was over and he was on his feet, staring down at her in shock.
“I am so sorry Tamar.” Elior said in remorse. He rubbed his hand across his face and down his chin looking drawn. “So many here wish me dead that I am programmed to defend, it is instinctive. I fell asleep a while after you left.” He dropped his hand toward her. Tamar had raised herself to her elbows and could feel a sting at the corners of her eyes. Gingerly she allowed him to help her up and then wiped away the tears.
“I’m sorry Tamar. Are you hurt?” He asked.
“No, I’m fine. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have caught you unawares like that, I should have called first or something...” She sniffled and avoided meeting his gaze.
“It is not your fault. Your innocence makes you naive, that is all. You forget where you are.” She squirmed at the word ‘innocence’. How true that was, Tamar thought. She was so far from home. “Come, let us walk.” Elior encouraged, “After all, young runaway, you need to explain to me why you are still here.” Tamar smiled a little at his attempt to tease her.
They walked side by side as they crossed the next bridge and wound their way through the tree tops.
“I wanted to talk to you again.” Tamar braved. Elior sighed.
“Tamar, I am not worthy of any Clarities time, you know you need to leave.”
“I know, just not yet.” She replied. He shot her a sideways glance but didn’t respond so she changed tact. “Tell me more about the Radiance Lands, tell me what you remember.”
“Why do you want to hear my memories? You know of its beauty and the Clarities grace, why should I taint your home with my vague reminiscing?” he asked, genuinely intrigued. Tamar looked ahead into the leaves and continued casually.
“I’ve only ever known it from the inside looking out,” she lied, “I’ve never heard how it feels to have known and lost the Clarity. You seem to admire it more than many of those who have it.”
“A small gift for the outcast.” He processed. “A taste of something I can’t have; a torment.”
“I don’t get it?” Tamar blurted, “Why can’t you just go home if it’s where you belong? What’s the problem?”
“Why do you joke about such things?” He laughed at what he assumed was her down to earth humour. “You talk as if The Noble himself would open the gate and embrace me back into the fold! You Clarities are more wishful than I remember.”
But why wouldn’t he? Tamar thought. If The Noble was the one who set the laws of transfer and allowed there to be a brighter life trusting in his ways, why wouldn’t he welcome Elior? She held her tongue with these thoughts, afraid they would cause suspicion of her true ignorance to Elior’s world of which she had never been a part of.
They went quiet for a few moments before Elior gave in to her curiosity. He eased into a tale of the time he and his brother Ewan had broken into their mothers supplies determined to make a potion to help them run faster.
“We were young!” he defended when Tamar laughed at the idea of this pointless potion.
“Of all the things to wish for you chose to run a bit faster!” she mocked.
“When you are a child you are of simple joys!” He smiled with an innocence she hadn’t seen before. His violent reputation ebbed away. “It was all that mattered then. We caused enough mischief as it was but being able to run away at twice the speed was one of the greatest ideas we ever had! We raced everywhere, why walk when you could run, why feel the breeze when you could feel a storm blowing through your hair.” He slowed at the memory and Tamar was taken back to when she first rode a horse and felt that speed and power, she’d vowed as a child never to walk anywhere again if horse riding was an option. Her parents were pestered for weeks until she was officially given lessons at the farm.
“However it was all in vain,” Elior continued. “Our Mother found us just as we lit the fire and that was the end of our great plan. She snuffed the fire and moved her supplies further out of reach, telling us potions were magic and forbidden. She helped to heal with her work, not to give way to desires. My mother was a great woman. I suppose she would not be too happy to know I now have access to magic at my finger tips if I will it.” He stopped and looked out across the canopy. “But I don’t want to run anymore.”
Tamar was at a loss for words, his sincerity defeated her confidence. It was much easier to argue with him when he seemed arrogant. Instead in that moment he appeared to her as a small boy trapped in the body of a man. Finally he turned to her with a sly grin playing around the corners of his lips.
“I have something to show you.” He said, inclining his head for them to continue on.
“Are we going back to the Ball?” Tamar asked, for she had lost all sense of direction, everywhere looked the same to her.
“No,” Elior shook his head bemused, “why would I take you back there when much more glorious things are yet to be seen?”
Tamar followed his lead, intrigued as to what he had up his sleeve. They slowed as they reached a one man bridge and Elior showed the way across. The platform was much smaller here and didn’t appear to go anywhere. Elior shuffled to the side allowed Tamar to see what he was looking at.
“Take your time, you shall go first.” He instructed. She found herself looking down at a rugged wooden block sticking out of the tree and then another a little higher and further around the trunk and another above that. The stairway lay disguised among the branches protruding at random intervals. She stepped onto the first and tested her weight. Turning to Elior he nodded encouragement and she carefully passed her other leg up to the next step. Both hands holding onto branches and bark Tamar slowly wound herself up and around the tree further into the sky. She could hear Elior ascending with ease behind her as though he had done it a thousand times. Maybe he had, she thought briefly before missing a branch and panicking to find another. She dared to glance upwards and saw the sunlight piercing the canopy above. Bird song had begun to filter down to them in promising tunes. This tree top towered just over the others as they reached the platform that stretched to twin trees either side for further support. Like the daffodil field, Tamar was momentarily blinded by sudden sunlight filling the sky. The green of the leaves was much healthier where the air was fresher. It was only now she realised how suffocating it had been in the forest. The carpet of foliage stretched out for miles before her, beautiful birds perching on the tips of trees singing their own songs. She breathed it in. She heard Elior sigh behind her.
“Turn around.” Elior suggested. “You’re yet to see the real view.”
And as she turned a panoramic view of the Radiance landscape filled her vision. They were close to the edge of the forest and here in Ebony Lands lay Elior’s escapism.
Tamar could see the sparkling river that divided the two Lands, its waters glittering in the early sun. Animals grazed along its banks. Fields full of crops and meadows overflowing with colours stretched as far as the eye could see. Workers were dotted among them, joyously labouring together to bear fruit for their families. The daffodil field could be seen in full bloom, swaying as one under the gentle shade of the high oak trees. A couple walked hand in hand among the yellow petals and the lover placed a flower in his beloveds’ hair.
And then there, snug in the centre of this glorious picture, sat the village of the Clarity Sept, the home of the lost boy stood next to her.
Each comfortable cottage sat with its quaint garden and pastel walls, shielded with its thatched roof. The homemakers met in the streets and talked of the day ahead while children scurried around their legs and towards the green for hours of adventures. The large circle of grass at the top of the village was their destination, where other companions were already chasing each others’ tails, some quite literally hiding their tails between their legs. Others cheated, like the beetle blue children who took flight when capture was almost upon them. They took off and crash landed not long after, their wings not mature enough to sustain the full escape, especially not from the parents who would scold them later for not waiting until they’re ready to fly.
Musicians strummed and tweaked instruments like none Tamar had ever known, practising in the stone band stand that was elevated slightly above the rest of the town. Its semi-circle structure was held by stone pillars, all wrapped with a corkscrew vines in full bloom; to be stood on the green would have greeted you with the most sweet-scented smell.
The village was humming with life. You could feel it even in the tree tops. For Tamar and Elior this sight was so clear, yet from the ground, hidden in the trees, they themselves would not be so easy to spot. They were also far too high from the ground for anyone below them to notice; the perfect hideaway.
For a time they both simply stood, rooted by the view. Tamar could tell that it didn’t matter how many times you’d seen this, it would always be breath-taking. Not like her dress for the ball, but the type of breath-taking only harmony could bring. The peace and happiness of the people was what made this picture beautiful, what gave it life.
“So this is your solitude.” Tamar reflected aloud.
“Sanctuary.” Elior said. They turned to look at each other, then sitting in unison they let their eyes roam over the landscape once more.
For hours they talked and laughed. In the sun they dozed and exchanged memories or thoughts, like friends that had been separated by the turbulence of life and found each other again. The tranquillity above the trees seemed to agree with Elior, Tamar thought, all his cares were left far below them. Watching the Clarities go about their day Tamar rolled up her jeans and bathed in the heat she never would have felt under the shade. Somehow it made everything better, easier.
“I built this place a few years after leaving my home.” Elior explained. “I so longed to be back there but I knew it was impossible. My Father checked on me daily. Often I wondered among the trees and roamed the forest for quiet, yearning to leave their world behind, but by sundown I needed to be back in my room within my Fathers sight. It was only after he was killed I found a little freedom here. No one cared where I was or how long I spent there. I had always climbed trees but when I heard Father was dead, I needed to go higher than ever before. And when I got here...” he trailed, “...it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was a remedy to the wounded heart, a cure to blindness. I saw more of the Radiance Lands than I had ever seen before and I knew it was not that far away. And for that I have always been thankful. The grief I felt for my Father was unexplainable. How I hated him for his mistakes but how a hole in me tore open when his blood was spilt. I was consumed with loss. I had nothing. But right here, above the cares of their world, was my home in plain sight. So here I built my childish fort. It has been repaired over the years, but here it stands.
“I have never shown this to anyone.” He finished and dropped his gaze to the floor. Again Tamar was taken aback by his sincerity, but this time she would not allow it to get the better of her.
“I have a place like this too.” She offered. He looked up full of gratefulness at her honestly. “Yup,” she nodded, “it’s a little river near my house. My brothers and I used to meet our friends there every summer day and play a million games. But sometimes, very early in the morning, I used to walk there with the sunrise and sit on my favourite rock that had the best view. I’d watch the river come alive. The sun would glisten off the ripples as the water fell through the rocks and the birds would venture out to wash and drink. Twigs would get caught in the current and rushed downstream while fish scarpered when an acorn fell from above. It made me feel a part of something worthwhile... but then my brothers would come and push me in,” she laughed, “and the peace would end!”
“You are unique Tamar, to say the least.” Elior grinned and she shoved him playfully away.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
There was a pause as they turned back to the view. It felt good to tell Elior something true, even if he didn’t fully understand. She would have to end this soon, he deserved the whole truth.
“So when will you leave me to return home?” he asked less resentfully than before, “For you know you cannot stay much longer. The Fallens will get restless with you.”
“I know.” Tamar said, “I’ll go when you’ll come with me.”
“What?” Elior spluttered.
“I’ll leave when you will agree to come back with me. I found somewhere for you to stay when I went back last night, they will welcome you. Just leave. You aren’t like them here Elior, tell them that and leave.”
“I am just like them.” He said through gritted teeth. “You will not understand will you?”
“Stop lying to yourself!” Tamar blurted, willing him to believe her.
“All these creatures want is material, nothing more. All feelings are shallow. If for nothing else I have to stay to keep them under control. They steal, kill, mock and lie, waiting around for the day they can get their hands on the key to the Radiance Lands and plunder that too. I pray they never find it. It was my home.”
“It could still be your home!”
“No Tamar. Stop. You know that is impossible.” He whispered frantically.
“But your heart is already there, go to it! Live as you were always meant to!” She pleaded; pointing in earnest at the village whose lights had started to twinkle.
“Enough!” He demanded. She pulled a face but didn’t argue back. He was being stubborn as she knew all too well, but surely he could see he’d been living a lie?
“You must go.” He continued, “It is dangerous after dark and you cannot afford to stay another night. I will walk you to the river myself, after that you should be safe.” Elior got to his feet and turned his back on the village. “I will go down first so you can steady yourself on me if you need; it is more difficult going down these steps then up.” And with that he was already three steps down, waiting for Tamar’s hesitant decent behind him. She huffed as she got to her feet and attempted to stomp around the platform until fear seized her at the steps. It really was easier climbing up than going down. If she hadn’t thought it more likely she would fall she would have closed her eyes. Reluctantly Tamar placed her hands on Eliors’ shoulders for balance and followed his confidant footfalls. Inwardly she was cursing her immaturity; she could have handled that better. But outwardly she was safely putting the blame on his stubbornness. He’d come around, she hoped, he had to. How on earth could she leave him here? She’d get him back to the Pryderi’s, make him at home, and tell him the whole truth and leave. That would be the best plan for everyone - but possibly not the easiest.
Back under the canopy the world was much darker already. They walked at a quicker pace than before and spoke less as the Firebugs began to flit around them. Just before the last bridge Elior stopped and turned to her.
“Tamar, you will be the first Clarity I have helped save from this place. Therefore this process of getting you out is new to me but it will be fine. I will walk you all the way to the river myself-” and further, Tamar thought, “-just stay close.”
“Alright...” She accepted.
“And, well, thank you.” Elior spoke softly. “You will never know what it means for me to see you safely home. I lost faith in truth long ago, and you have believed mine and for that I’m grateful. I wanted you to know that.”
Tamar forced a smile as her heart took a beating. She couldn’t leave him here, he deserved so much better. And she had to tell him who she was, because he had far too much faith in her. She needed to correct all this and go home. That was the plan.