[Or try to. I'm elated at the turnout of the special chapter, and you guys were too! Here's to many more moments of laugher~! *clinks a glass of apple juice*]
Jeff the Kipper
Deep down in the dark depths of your brain, you were happy to have Jeff back.
High in the other part of your brain, you were fuming at him.
It was a bickering match between the little chibi demon Y/N, and the little chibi angel Y/N, sitting astride on your shoulders. They both had a pretty solid argument.
He deserves a nice kick in the Nutella for taking advantage of being shrunk!
Fumed the devil, steam pouring out of her ears.
No, no, no! Be creative; put laxatives in his coffee!
Advised the angel with a wise nod.
Did we forget to mention? They weren't bickering about whether or not to punish Jeffy boy. They were arguing about the best way to do it.
*^*
Holding a lovely bouquet of velvety black roses by their necks, and sporting a devious smile your face, you turned up at the creepypasta mansion's doorstep.
Smiley answered the doorbell with a yawn, rubbing his sleepy-looking scarlet eyes, scrunching up his lids to shield them from the morning light.
"Hello?"
"Visitor for Jeffy... Jeffy-boo."
"Oh, good morning Y/N." The not-so-good doctor stepped aside and tiredly gestured inside. "Come right in - he's upstairs taking a nap."
You chuckled and stepped into the mansion of serial killers galore. Then, as you went upstairs, Smiley trailed behind, shuffling his feet. A friendly conversation struck up.
"Had a long night?"
"Slenderman burst into my room in the middle of the night to give me a lecture."
"About what?" You blinked.
He covered his mouth (despite already wearing a mask) and yawned again. "Trendorman visited in my absence yesterday and took it upon himself to... redecorate... his wardrobe."
"Yikes. How long did that lecture go on for, exactly?"
Smiley cringed meekly. "Um... well you see-"
On cue, a rather angry-sounding voice boomed from the surgery, reverberating off the walls for all to hear.
"DOCTOR DEVIN SMILEY: COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! I'M NOT DONE YET!"
You offered him a sympathetic pat on the disheveled head. "It won't get any better. Toodles~!"
And with that, you left the not-so-good doctor to his fate, and strode into Jeff's room without knocking.
The pyjama-clad crazy killer jumped about a foot off his bed, hiding two Barbie dolls behind his back.
"Y-Y/N! Didn't expect you so early!" He laughed nervously. "I-I can explain, if you want me to!"
You held up your hand dismissively. "Don't wanna know."
"Phew. Okay, good." He stuffed the Barbie dolls under his pillow and sat up straight, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed. "So what's up?"
Grinning broadly, you produced the black roses with a flourish. "I thought I'd get you a gift, Jeffy-boo. It must've been so hard for you, keeping up the spoilt brat act and all that."
Jeff, a little wary from hearing the unusual nickname, hesitantly took hold of his gift.
At once, he shrieked like a little girl and tried to drop them. "They- They're all sticky!"
But they wouldn't come off. His hand was stuck clutching the flowers, even as he desperately shook his fist in a panicked frenzy. Then it got stuck to his hair.
"What is this witchcraft!?"
"Revenge is a dish best served with duct tape and super glue, Jeffy boy," you deadpanned.
BEN Drowned... In warm buttery scones?
You were nursing BEN's bruised ego.
No, really. He'd called you up, to sit next to him on the couch and dish out compliments like candy on Halloween, to build up his pride again.
The little elf grumpily played his video game, button mashing the controller, slouched in a bent posture that rivalled L's. You fed him snacks, trying not to laugh.
He looked cute.
And he'd also noticed your amusement, and was now glaring up at you.
"It's not funny, Y/N! My respectable public image has been tarnished!"
Dark Link, who happened to overhear him as he passed by, choked on some coffee and burst out laughing.
"R-Respectable public image? You never had one to begin with!"
Then he went off on his merry way.
"... Waaah!" He threw the controller down and clambered into your arms. "Hold me!"
You cradled BEN like a baby as he threw a miniature hissy fit, wailing about how it 'wasn't fair' and that 'people just don't understand my unique talents!', while sucking his cheesy dust-covered thumb.
This wasn't exactly the prime idea of a romantic way to spend the day bonding, but was the closest thing you two managed to do.
Dark Link~
Darkness got down on one knee, and kissed your hand in greeting, speaking in a silvery purr. "Good afternoon, milady." He looked up with mischief in his eyes. "Are we going somewhere today?"
You leant in close, and bopped him on the nose. "Movies. My treat."
The devilish twinkling faded, replaced with a look of somewhat horror. "M-Movies?"
"Yup. Why, what's the problem? You're going a bit... pale."
"W-With all that buttery popcorn, and creamy cheesy snacks, and fountains and fountains worth of fizzy canned drinks?" He gripped your hand urgently, as though about to faint.
"In fact, the theatre's having a sale; buy something from the food menu and get thirty percent off, because it's a viewing of 'Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs'," you continued without thinking.
Flashbacks to the previous chapter ran through his mind. With a strange raspy wheeze, Dark Link's eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fainted.
Worriedly, you prodded him with a toe. "Darkness? Darkness? Are you still breathing? Huh. I guess he's not hungry..."
Laughing Hokey-Pokey
L.J burrowed into your bed like an invasive clawed teddy bear during the night, and refused to leave. He snuggled up to your pillow, and left you sitting bemusedly in the cold corner.
You weren't going to let him get away with it, this time. You were going to be strict. Or so you told yourself.
"Laughing Jack, go somewhere else or I'll confiscate your secret stock of candy!"
Unfortunately, this just caused him to get up, pick up the bed, and carry it off downstairs, with you still on it. He set it down in the kitchen, right next to a cookie jar. Then crawled back in.
Left with no choice, and stunned by his sheer cheek, you admitted defeat.
The monochrome clown settled down with a peaceful look. His eyes snapped open wide in surprise, feeling you climb over him to hug the pillow from the other side.
He smiled, and pulled both you and the plump fluffy thing, a little bit closer. And reached up to include the cookie jar too.
Unbeknownst to the fact that the ghost of C/N was squashed up inside it, unsuccessfully trying to munch his way to Narnia. He just got fat and couldn't get out.
Meanwhile, at the Creepypasta Mansion...
In the shower, Zalgo was cheerfully scrubbing his horns with a loofah, using three types of demonic polishing formula. His tail curled around the bottles and threw them to his hand.
He was so engrossed in his humming and grooming, that he didn't notice the door creaking open. Nor the waddle of webbed feet, or the flower-print shower curtain rustling.
The next thing his tail curled around and bounced up wasn't a polish bottle. He realized that, when something sharp bit his hand, honking loudly.
"What the- A-Ah-Achoou!"
He looked down. His pupils shrank in horror. Another kitten-like sneeze caused him to fall over, dropping the penguin like hot butter.
Zalgo kicked the wet floor, sloshing to a corner of the shower, water cascading down and crashing chaotically over his head. The penguin was sitting on the drain, looking cute.
"Nonono! Shoo! Stay away! Stay awa- Achoo!"
A few blinks later, every resident who happened to be wandering on that particular floor (including Slenderman and Smirky), bore witness to seeing the prince of darkness barrel out of the bathroom in a spray of water, a penguin locked in hot pursuit of him.
"GO AWA- ACHOO! ACHOO! LEAVE ME A- ACHOO! ALONE! I'M NOT YOUR MUMMY!"
Flying so erratically, it was no surprise that he careened into a wall and got knocked out cold. Slendy whipped out a camera and took pictures for blackmail purposes.
"It's useful to have the upper hand on your enemies!" he said defensively, in response to quite a few raised eyebrows.
_________________________
A/N: Funnily enough, the pictures disappeared from Slenderman's study a week later. On that day, Smirky went out on an unusual errand to scout out and explore the not-so-local volcanoes.
However, BEN insisted that he saw him coming out of a photocopy shop, stuffing an envelope into his pocket...
I may have been, and still be, half asleep while writing this.
It still all made perfect sense... riiiight? Another quality chapter?
Thank you for reading!
This chapter is hungry.
This chapter is also picky about its food.
This chapter would like to eat some yummy vote stars.
Take a few seconds to feed yours to it, won't ya? :)