"Your smiling,...." The words were neither a question or a fact.
"I guess so," I sighed. Walking over to my night side table I took my pony out and began to brush my hair out for the night.
Slightly more directed the question came, "Packing your things?"
Looking up I slowly shook my head, "Nope.... Not tonight."
There was a pause before she finally asked, "Then why are you here?"
"Because here," I replied in a dry indignant tone as I glanced about my cell. "Well here is where I feel like being at the present time."
Lori stood there silently for several minutes playing with her bottom lip before she eventually as she looked at me. "Well... Good night Jenna."
I stood there for a moment, seemingly on pause, my hand mid stroke through my hair. What the fuck was that all about. Where was the snarky bitch comment. The accusations and resentment that accompanied every single one of our conversations. The very fact I was here should have sent Lori into a spastic rage but it didn't.
It took me a second before I moved. I think somewhere deep down inside I already knew. I didn't want to but I couldn't stop myself either. Hanging onto that one last vain of hope I walked to my cell door just close enough that I could see the stairwell leading to the bottom level where Lori's room was. Holding my breath I moved closer as I leaned forward just catching the the top of Lori's head as she walked down the last rung of stairs.
Closing my eyes I leaned against the door frame of my cell exhaling deeply. It shouldn't have mattered if Lori had gone to Ricks cell. I was with Shane and I was sure they would end up back together in the long run anyways. I just didn't want to see it with my own eyes.
The romantic in me wanted to secretly believe we were star crossed lovers somehow meant to be. That Rick would come and professing his love to me. Take me in his arms and ask me to stay. Declaring our love with a passionate kiss Rick would never let me go again. I knew it was far fetched and about as ridiculous as Hollywood movies got but I needed that one small break. At least God could grant me the grace of not seeing them together in the next 12 hours before we left.
Pushing off of the door frame I was exhausted and ready for bed. Turning into my room the sounds of voices drifted up through the silence of the prison catching my attention. My feet stilled as the gentle southern tones of Ricks voice reached out wrapping around my heart and crushing it.
I couldn't hear what was being said but I didn't need to either. I watched as Rick stepped out from hallway walking towards Lori, a smile upon his lips. Through tearful eyes I couldn't look away as he drew her into his arms kissing her. I couldn't breath as his hands ran up into her hair as he deepened the kiss. By the time Rick took Lori's hand leading her towards her cell I could hardly stand. A single tear fell from my eye as I watched Rick drop the privacy sheet at the front of the cell. A single kerosine lamp in the cell lit their shadowy figures as Rick took Lori in his arms kissing her again before he lowered her into the bed. My heart broke dropping into my chest as the lamp was turned off plunging the cell into darkness.
I stood still and unmoving for some time as my minds eye imagined what was going on. In a sick way punishing myself. Standing their like some sort of a weirdo listening for the sound of pleasure. It was all I could think about as I laid awake for hours in bed just praying that I would just sleep. Not that with the dawn of the next day I was able to think of anything else. A constant reel of a porno staring the two of them on an endless track.
Going through my things in my room I crammed clothing only into my bag. Needing to get as far away from the prison and Rick as I could I didn't want to bring anything that might cause a lingering memory. No longer able to pay the price for loving him I couldn't wait to leave.
"There you are," Maggie crossed the entrance to my cell. "There is a council meeting with your group. Come on let's go."
'
"I don't want to go. Just let Shane know I'll be waiting out by the vehicles." I paused looking around my room before I slung my backpack over my shoulders. Picking up my sketch book I handed it to Maggie. "Here I want you to have this to remember me by."
Looking down at the sketch book Maggie's bottom lip shook slightly as she brushed a tear from her eye. "Wait Jenna it doesn't have to be like this."
Pulling Maggie close we hugged for several long minutes before I finally stepped back, "Help me find the others so I can say goodbye."
Taking Maggie's had in mine I silently lead her from my room. Carol and Sasha weren't hard to find as they were hovering at the top of the stairwell.
"We can talk about this," Carols eyes pleaded with mine. "There is still time."
"There's no time," Shane growled as he came up the stairwell. Ignoring everyone else Shane looked only at me, "Let's go apparently there's a council meeting."
"I'm not going," I shook my head, "I'll just meet you guys at the vehicles when your done."
Reaching out Shane took my hand in his tugging me in his direction, "Its not optional or so I've been told."
Closing my mouth I just let Shane lead the way. At this point I was to the stage of what ever it took to just get on the road I no longer cared. Besides what could possibly be left to say. A trade agreement? A drawing of boundaries? What ever it was just let it be done.
The council meeting was held in the original room the group had brought me to the first day our paths had crossed. A room where I had once sought safe harbour not knowing that it would eventually lead to the greatest heart ache of my life. Full of resentment I tucked myself in behind Shane staring at the floor impatiently waiting for things to be done.
Rick waited until Carol had closed the door and taken her seat before he cleared his throat. Drumming his fingers against the table Rick let out a loud sigh, "You've all been asked here because we need to have a calm discussion," Ricks eyes briefly casted over Shane, "and then we will take a vote. It has been suggested that we join our two groups together with everyone living here at the prison."
As the words were falling from Ricks lips Shane began to squeeze my hand so hard it hurt. It was the only reason I knew I wasn't day dreaming and imagining what I had just heard. Beating back the heavy silence that squeezed into every corner of the room I spoke up, "Wait... What?"
"The truth is we need each other in order to not just survive day to day but to succeed," Mike began, "Each group has something to offer. Something the other group needs. Why struggle when we don't have to."
"I'd hardly say we struggle Mike," Shane sounded surprisingly calm, "We have a system that works for our group."
Shaking his head Shane looked directly at Mike, "Man I just don't get your need to complicated and fix what's not broken."
"We're not saying either group is broken," Doc answered instead of Mike. "But you combine the knowledge, the experience and skill sets of the two groups and everyone stands a real chance here at the prison."
"There is safety in numbers." My jaw dropped as Daryl of all people spoke up, "Were stronger together. We don't know what's out there and what we're going to have to face."
"We wouldn't need to go looking for people anymore," Glenn said leaning forward looking at me sheepishly before looking away. "It's a risk we would no longer need to take. Bring people we don't know in."
"You can't just spring this," I squared off against Mike. "People need to talk. What about everyone back home? You can't... We can't just make a decision like this for them."
"Our camp did talk." Leaning back in his chair Mike turned his head towards me. "Take the personal out of this and it's what makes sense."
"I'm sorry what did you just say?" I could hardly believe I was having this discussion. I was shocked Rick even agreed to put such a ludicrous idea to vote. "Where I live and who I live with is personal."
"There is going to be a clash of personalities. Not everyone is going to mold into this blended pot of happiness your describing." For the first time I found myself on the same side as Lori. "Take you and Rick for example. Your both leaders in your respective communities. You seriously expect us to believe that one of you is going to just step down and fallow the other. I can't foresee that lasting."
"It's not a matter of who is going to step down and who is going to lead. Rick and I see most things eye to eye and even as it stands now both communities have councils for the big decisions." Judging Mike I could only see him as some greasy car sales man. Full of fast words saying just the right thing. "Our concern, our goal here is for the betterment and longevity of both groups. To build a community that can substation itself."
As a general rule I hardly ever questioned Mike and if I did I still trusted his decision. This time I wasn't able to swallow the pill he was asking me to take. "You danced around the question but didn't answer it. What happens when you and Rick butt heads? Don't see so eye to eye and end up in a power struggle for control."
"The council will be comprised of key figures from both groups." Mikes answer was smooth as if he had already rehearsed for the question. "Rick and I've already agreed to abide by their decision."
"And everyone else is just supposed to get along." I shook my head, "People are going to feel put out of place and toes are going to be stepped on."
"Not to mention how would you even begin to feed that many people?" I asked to no one in particular.
"At what point do we start to loose your animinity and become a noticeable target?" I barrelled on without pause trying to plead my case. "Having numbers is great until it becomes like a flashing bat signal for those looking to take whats yours."
"In theory it works," I paused looking at the people in the room. "But a lot of theories just don't pan out in reality. Has anyone even talked about a trade agreement instead?"
"We took on everyone from Woodbury and became stronger for it. Winter is still far enough away we can adjust, ration and plan ahead. We talked about a trades agreement but with no form of communication between the groups the risk for failure becomes to high." Rick looked directly at me as he talked, "Together we can protect the prison and those we love better. We will have the man power and now the military back ground to set up watch towers further out for better surveillance. Larger groups will be able to go on runs covering more space and not leaving home unprotected. The experience and knowledge everyone brings to the table is an asset that can't be walked away from."
At that point I knew the conversation was over and exactly what way the vote would swing. If Mike and Doc thought it was a good idea I knew our whole group would back them. The fact Daryl agreed and obviously Rick agreed as well meant the prison would stand behind them. I could stand here and argue point after point but nobody would listen anyways. The decision had been made.
"Anyone have anything else they want to say before we vote," Looking away from me Rick cleared his throat, "Anyone voting that the two groups merge together raise your hand."
"Those in favour of going separate ways raise your hand."
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The third book in this series is now being published. Don't forget to check out Falling (Rick Grimes Romance)