I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Carrillo_Lizzie for supporting LiL. Reading and voting and commenting and just everything. Thank you so much. Much love.
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Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is the most lonely person.
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Waking early on a Sunday morning was pure torture. I shot up in bed as the sound of the doorbell rang through the house. I had no idea what the time was, but it felt early. Or rather I wanted it to be early so I could catch up on my nine hours of sleep.
Where was my family? Couldn't mom just open the door? I was positive that she was up already, but was she out, doing her workout thingy? Shit. I realized that I had to open the door quite obviously. Tori and Nate could be at his parents house or somewhere else. I wasn't quite sure and frankly I didn't really care. Dad? Could be for a run.
Grudgingly, I got up when the doorbell rang a second time. Seriously, why did we even have a doorbell? My eyes were hazy from sleep as I stumbled downstairs. "I'm coming!" I yelled, ending with a yawn. I was full on squinting at the clock in the hall, focusing on the numbers. It was freaking ten. I ran a hand through my hair. Who was at the door at ten a.m. on a Sunday?
My friends would be coming at around eleven for our traditional 'breakfast' meet up. I opened the door, eyes half open. I was squinting as my eyes adapted to the daylight. When my gaze locked onto his I let out a yawn. "Ryan," I rubbed at my eyes. "What are you doing here so freaking early?" I sighed, frustration lacing my voice, as I ran a hand through my hair.
He didn't answer me, instead he openly stared at me, his eyes slowly moving from my face to my middle and down my legs. I looked at him in confusion, why was he-
My eyes widened as I looked at my legs, my naked legs. Oh shit. When I got home last night I only changed out of my jeans, leaving me in an oversized t-shirt. The shirt reached my mid thigh, exposing my pale, flabby skin. I shrieked as I noticed my appearance and shut the door closed with a loud thud. Embarrassment tinged my cheeks pink. "What the fuck are you doing here!?" I yelled, leaning against the door.
It took him a moment to respond. "Breakfast with your friends?" he said, but it came out as a question. Ryan nearly sounded insecure, unsure of himself. Well, that was a first. Apparently, I caught him off guard.
I wouldn't even ask how he knew about it. At this point wondering how Ryan knew about secretive things was a waste of time. "They won't be here until eleven!"
"Okay, then. I'll just go and come back later." Came his muffled reply. And although I couldn't understand him clearly I was quite sure his voice sounded different than normal, hesitant and uncertain. It made me think about yesterday or rather today, I mean this morning. When he had told me about his dad it honestly shocked me a little. I hadn't expected that in the slightest.
Well, I guess you never really know a person until you get to know them. The stories he had told me about the constellations and the fact that his dad always used to spent time telling him about them, made me wonder why he shared them with me. Because although something this privat shouldn't make me feel special, it did. Just like his smile it felt like it was a secret between the two of us.
"Wait!" I sighed, already regretting my next words. "You could come in and help me get everything ready just... let me get dressed first, okay?"
"Okay."
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The first thing I did after letting Ryan into our house, freshly dressed in black leggings and a v-neck, hair up into a messy bun, was to power up the coffee machine. I yawned as I checked my phone for any new messages. "Where's your family?" I glanced up from the screen to see him leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over his chest.
"To be honest I don't really know," I turned around and filled two mugs with freshly brewed coffee.
"Okay. How can I help you then?"
"You can," I started, handing him the coffee. "Go with me to the living room and relax on the couch."
"I don't need to rest," he said as I poured some milk into my mug.
"Fine," I took my cup of coffee out of his grip and made my way to the living room. "But I do." I sensed him following behind me as I marched through the house. "They won't be here until later and if we prepare everything now it would be cold by the time they arrive. Besides," I said, plopping down on the couch. "I need some peace and quiet before they get here." I sipped at my coffee as I watched him settle down next to me.
"So, I'll meet your sister then?"
I almost choked on my coffee. "What?!" I shrieked, losing the grip on my facade for a second at the mentioning of Tori. His question wasn't at all something I was expecting nor something I wanted to think about. After yesterday the things my sister said to me had dulled down a bit inside of me, but they were still present and they still hurt.
And with the words of Tori came those from Jeremy. And all of them together, they were too much at once. Every word they threw at me felt like bits and pieces from the ceiling fell down on me. One small piece was something I could just brush off my shoulders, but the amount of negativity that came with every syllable was comparable to the whole ceiling just crashing down on me, caging me in, making it hard to breathe or to fight, to free myself.
He studied me with observant eyes. "Your sister. You said she arrived on Saturday and that you-"
I cut him off. "Yeah, no," I blurted out. "I mean I'm not sure where she is right now and when she'll come back, but yeah there's a chance you'll meet her today," I got out, still unsteady.
He nodded slowly, but was still unconvinced. "Is your sister like you?"
I sucked in a short breath. People tended to compare me to Tori a lot. Why can't she be like her sister? She could learn a thing or two from her big sister. ...
Basically my family put my sister as the standard daughter, grandchild, etc. and everybody else needed to be like the oldest, otherwise there was something immensely wrong with them and they needed to change and weren't allowed to have their own opinion. That was me by the way.
I shook my head. "No," I admitted. "Basically Tori and I are polar opposites. Not appearance wise neither on first impression circumstances. I can't really explain... It's just I know that Tori and I are completely different, but when you first meet us you will think that both of us are nice, innocent, goody two-shoes. But don't trust appearances, okay? They are deceiving."
He didn't answer me, instead he asked another question. "So, I take it you're not really close?"
I shook my head. "No, we rarely spend time together and that's not because she goes to college and only visits ever so often. Basically it's just because we don't have the same... taste, when it comes to the question on how to have fun. So we practically don't do anything together anymore."
"But you want to?"
A sigh left my lips. "Yeah, actually I do. I want to have some alone time with her just like old times, you know. I mean Tori and I, we were never best friend's or anything, but we had a comfortable relationship." Now our relationship only seemed exhausting. "And occasionally there were times we'd spent some freetime together like go to the movies or do other stuff, you know. Admittedly it got worse when she went to college."
A lot has changed over the course of last year and my relationship to my sister had been affected as well.
Conversing with Ryan the way I did it almost felt natural. Like we've known each other for years. Like we've had these sort of conversations before. These little heart to heart's.
It actually felt nice to have a little comfortable talk with Ryan. Honestly. I haven't had one of those in some time. Just sitting together with a friend, talking and drinking coffee. Ryan was listening intently to every word I uttered. Not interrupting me or reasoning with me. And it just became clear to me that I actually really really missed these conversations. With Jo gone and Logan getting more overprotective there hadn't been a chat like this one I could actually enjoy. Light and carefree.
And someone actually listening to my every word felt like a bit of the weight was taken off my chest.
Huh, I wasn't that boring after all, I thought.
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Friends were something awesome. Unless they decided to leave all the work to yourself. "I really need to get new friends," I stated out loud when I turned my back to them to head inside. When the guys had arrived moments ago we decided to have breakfast outside seeing as it was such a sunny day. They had gotten here earlier than expected so I hadn't prepared anything yet.
"Hey, we heard you!" Tony shouted after me.
"That was the point!" I shouted back and went to the kitchen. Man, my friends could be such douches. I decided to start with the french toast and pancakes. I was doing both because half of them preferred french toast over pancakes. And the other way around.
I was wondering what type Ryan was so I decided to go outside and ask him. Outside wasn't far away from the kitchen so if anything would burn then there wouldn't be any collateral damage. "Hey Ryan!" I called out to him from the door, pointing the spatula at him. "Are you a pancakes type of guy or a french toast type of guy?"
He smirked, but it was different from his player kind of smirk, in fact that seemed to have vanished a while ago. "I'm a waffle type of guy," he answered without missing a beat.
Did he want to kill me? I couldn't do all three. My eyes widened as the guys agreed. They were behaving like it just occurred to them that there was a third possibility. "I hate you," I growled.
"Liz, can we have-"
I cut Liam off, pointing my spatula at him. "No," I said sternly. "If you want to have them make them yourself. I'm not doing all three. Be grateful for two choices. Adding a third would mean the last time any of you would have breakfast at my place."
"You're right," Jere stood up and got on his knees in front of me. I narrowed my eyes at him, suspicious. "Oh, dear Elizabeth, thank you for everything you've done for us. For the food in our stomachs and-" he said all this in a playful manner, but still there was something real behind all that.
I cut him off, getting back inside and calling over my shoulder, "You can kiss my ass!" Their booming laughter was heard even inside as I continued to cook for them.
And as if life wasn't annoying enough the doorbell rang... for ten seconds. I groaned as I went to open the door. Tori and Nate were standing in front of me. "Sorry, I forgot my keys," she said.
I shrugged and hurried over to the stove, checking for any damage. "Mhh, smells good. You doing breakfast?" Nate asked as they joined me in the kitchen.
I just nodded, praying that they would leave me alone and not for them to join us outside. "Yeah, but I hope you already ate, because this is for the guys," I replied, jaw clenched, shoulders tense. "And there's only so much time and food." Mom and dad had been lounging in the living room and she decided to join us for this little conversation that wasn't any of her business.
"We could help you," Tori said.
"Then you wouldn't have to do all the work and we could have breakfast," Nate finished. Mom nodded along.
Anger was slowly but surely building inside of me. "No," I said without thinking about it. Sunday breakfast had been our tradition for years and I didn't want them intruding nor did I want them here at all right now. They wouldn't understand, I knew it before they voiced their thoughts.
"Why not?" my sister frowned.
"Come on, Liz, let them help you," mom said, a unspoken warning in her voice. But I wouldn't give in this time. No, not this time.
"I said no. I'm perfectly fine of doing it myself. You can have breakfast when I'm finished here."
"But that could take an hour and I'm hungry. We are hungry," Tori whined.
I shrugged. "You could have bought food before getting here."
"Liz," mom warned. No idea what she wanted me to do. Play nice like always and let them roll over me? No, not when it came to our tradition.
"The two of you are perfectly capable to get food some place else."
"God Liz," my sister snapped. "Can't you just do something for somebody else than yourself only once?" Something in me broke when she said this. I felt the lump in my throat before my eyes started stinging.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry, I was residing in my head over and over again. They couldn't see my face because I was facing the stove and they were standing behind me. I stayed silent. "Gosh, stop being so selfish all the time," she snapped. I could feel her leave, Nate in tow. And I could feel my heart leaving me too.
Mom was still there, I could feel her presence. I didn't want her to be there. I couldn't face her.
"Liz," she started. She wasn't chiding Tori, but me?!
Before she could continue I moved the pan off the stove and walked past her, keeping my head low so she couldn't see my expression. When I arrived in the bathroom I leaned my back against the closed door. I closed my eyes shut, wanting the tears to go away but one trickled down my cheek anyway. I quickly wiped it away.
Gosh, I hated feeling like this. I had to get a grip on myself. I looked in the mirror above the sink, my reflection staring back at me. I took a deep breath in and a deep breath out.
Deep breath in.
Deep breath out again.
Loneliness was a familiar feeling which I didn't want to visit, but could do nothing to stop it. I swallowed against the lump in my throat that wasn't as big as before and wiped at my cheeks.
I was looking normal enough. Neither my eyes nor my cheeks were red or tear stained. I could do this. "You can do this," I told myself aloud.
When I trotted out into the kitchen it was already buzzing, but not with my family. All my friends were standing in the kitchen, taking turns on the stove and preparing the meal. I let a smile get the better of me and stepped in to help them. In that moment I didn't care about the fact that they most probably were able to hear our conversation. And they didn't acknowledge it either when I joined them. My family.
My real family.
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Ryan's POV
She looked beautiful today. Casual and homey. But beautiful no less. She needed to wear leggings more often. Formfitting ones. Just like today.
Gosh if there was one thing I knew after our encounter this morning was that she wasn't just adorable when she was sleepy she was also extremely hot. This fact might or might not had something to do with her sleepwear, but you had to consider the bigger picture. Her hair looked like she lazily ran her hands through it, which just caused my own urge to feel her brown waves gliding through my fingers to erupt inside of me.
And her legs, oh don't get me started on her legs, I couldn't stop ogling.
But when the hazy mist cleared in her eyes and she realized what had been happening she had looked completely mortified. I hated that she felt this way. She shouldn't feel embarrassed in front of me. I wanted her to act like herself.
And today I had clearly succeeded when I had rung the doorbell at ten a.m., before she shut the door in my face of course. I've seen slip up's of her before, like when Tony mentioned her keeping secrets on Friday. She had been completely taken aback and forgot about her perfect facade for some time. Or when she let me see her cry on Tuesday.
Her wall, although made of bricks, was able to break. And that was good, that made me hope. Showed me that after all those long years there was still the little Bee inside of her that she used to be when she was younger. My best friend of all time.
When we were out on the meadow last night I wasn't planning on telling her about dad. I hadn't talked about him in a very long time. But I kept mom to myself. Just a little while longer, I had told myself.
Bee was a good person no questions asked, but her urge to help could be self destructive in the future. I wasn't as excited about her new position on the team as everyone else. Mainly because I didn't want any more incidents to happen like the one on the bus with Jensen. Also, I wasn't conviced Edwards plan would work. We were boys after all. Talking to a girl about our problems was showing weakness and that was the last thing football player were capable of doing.
My focus was brought back to her ass, I mean leggings when she went inside to get something. "How come you were already here?" Drake asked from next to me.
I tore my eyes away from her retreating form and shrugged. "Nobody told me when to come so I came early."
He chuckled. "Man, Liz must have been pissed. She's feisty when she's tired."
I shrugged again and looking around the table to ensure that everybody was transfixed in conversation mumbled, "I told her about dad yesterday."
Drake perked up at that. "Really?" I nodded. "So when will you tell her that you are... well, you?"
"After the agreement is over, I guess. By then she'll have the real picture of me, she's smart she'll have noticed the difference."
"Could you explain to me why you haven't told her yet again?"
I sighed and turned fully in his direction. "The real reason is that I needed her to see the real me first before I told her, you know, not that player facade. If I had told her this at the beginning of the week she wouldn't have cared, I guess, but now that she got to know me she'll be able to listen properly, I think.
And I needed to check if she still was the little girl I was best friends with in kindergarten. I mean she went through with the deal under the impression that I wanted to get laid. So, why accept that arrangement? I mean I know that I had promised to leave her alone after this is over, but come on how persistent could one person be? I would have given up eventually."
But when I saw a glimpse of her singing while washing berries I knew it. I wouldn't have give up on her.
I wouldn't.
Ever.
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Liz' POV
A bowl.
I needed a bowl.
I opened the cupboard and gazed up at the shelves. I groaned. Great, someone put the bowls on the top shelf. And when I say someone I meant dad, because mom and Tori were even shorter than I was. I got on my tiptoes and reached out, but my hand barely reached the shelf. Maybe I could reach it when I jump? Or should I call one of the guys? I jumped and almost knocked the bowls off the shelf. Bad idea, really bad idea. I surely didn't want them to break.
Suddenly I felt the presence of someone behind me. "You could have said something, you know," he murmured near my ear, breath fanning my skin. I watched him reach out and grab the items with ease. When I turned around to thank him I almost crashed into his chest, I wasn't expecting him to be this close. My gaze wandered from his chest to his face. My breathing stopped for a second as our eyes met. I felt my heartbeat picking up speed at our close proximity. His green orbs were staring down at me.
"Thank you," I said, breathless. He smiled down at me, staying silent. I came back to reality when the bacon started sizzling on the stove behind me. I had decided to at least make my sister something. I cleared my throat and grabbed the bowls from his grip, placing them on the side.
"Bee."
I ignored him and focused on getting the bacon out of the pan. However because I was clumsy and tired I ended up burning myself. "Ouch." I stepped back, cursing under my breath.
"Bee!" Ryan guided me to the sink and a moment later cold water was cooling my burning skin. "You okay?" he asked, taking the pan off the stove.
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm used to these things. Last night when I got back home I stumbled on the stairs and ran into the railing," I laughed at the memory, but my hipbone hurt a lot because of my stupidity.
"Really? Where did you hurt yourself?" he asked, eyes wide.
"Ah, it's nothing just my hip."
He went to the refrigerator and came back with some ice. "For your hand."
He handed the package to me and I nodded in thanks. What he did next was completely unexpected. He wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me onto the counter. I squealed. "What are you doing?" I asked as my butt met the surface of the countertop.
He didn't answer me instead he pressed the ice pack against my injured hand. "Ryan?" I asked again as he stepped in between my legs, his hand resting on my thigh. Something about this gesture felt so caring and intimate that my heart stopped beating for a second.
"Where does it hurt?"
"Ryan, it's nothing. I'm fine-"
He grabbed my face with one hand, forcing me to look at him. With me sitting on the counter we were almost the same height, almost. "Bee, where does it hurt?" he asked me, a stern look in his eyes. I contemplated if I should tell him. I mean I didn't want him to see under my shirt!
His patience was wearing thin and he reached for my left side, grabbing my shirt. "Ryan!" I shrieked, slapping his hand away.
"I'm serious Bee."
I sighed. I reached for the hem of my shirt on my right hip, revealing the blue and purple skin. His eyes widened as he took it in, grabbing my waist and turning it in his direction. "Nothing?! It's a huge bruise!" he pointed out as he inspected it more closely. Okay, now he was just overreacting.
His fingers skimmed over my bruised skin, his touch as soft as a feather. Our eyes met and it seemed like he was closer than before. "Does it hurt?" he asked, his voice quiet. I shook my head. "Bee, I need to tell you something." I nodded. "I'm-"
"Damn, seems like you're losing the bet man." We sprang apart as Jack's voice rang through the kitchen. I snapped my head in the direction where Jack and Jeremy were standing. How long had they been standing there?! How much did they see? Not that there was much to see anyways. But before my face got the chance to blush my brain realized what he had said. Jeremy was losing a bet?
I furrowed my eyebrows together as I hopped down. "What bet?"
Jack cursed and Jere glared at him. They behaved like Jack had just told me a secret I wasn't allowed to know. Jeremy reached out and slapped Jack upside the head.
"Guys, what are you talking about? What bet?" I looked at Ryan for help, but it seemed to me that he knew what they were talking about.
"There's a bet going around school," Ryan started.
"So, what are they betting on? And why do I only hear about this now?" I asked him, confused and curious.
"They are betting on how long they think it will take until..." he trailed off.
"Until what?!"
His eyes met mine head on.
"Until we have sex."
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Uhhh that cliffy tho!
Hey guys
So, this chapter isn't one of my bests. It's kinda fast paced and... I don't know. Tell me if you share my opinion. How did you like this chappy? The beginning with a half naked Liz? And the sisterhood between Liz and Tori? You always have to keep in mind though that we only see this from Liz' POV so you don't know Tori's thoughts on this whole family thingy. And also did you like the bit of Ryan I threw in there? *winks* How about the ending? Are you excited for the next chapter.
Tell me your thoughts and feelings, loves. And keep in mind that if you ever need someone to talk just PM me. Be it about LiL or life or anything else I'll most probably reply if you ever have the urge to.
Please comment/vote?
Hugs and kisses
Kathy
PS: Don't know yet when the next update will be. I'll put the date in my bio if I figure it out.