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*WARNING*: The first half of this chapter contains suicidal thoughts and/or actions. If this is a trigger or makes you uncomfortable, please STOP HERE. The next chapter will be okay to read without reading this chapter. Thank you.
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Iwaizumi climbed out of bed. He made his way to the bathroom and flicked the mirror lights on. He opened the cabinet door and took out a bottle of sleeping pills. He hadn't used them in a long time because Oikawa had always been there. But now he was gone, and Iwaizumi had found another use for them.
Not bothering to get a glass of water, Iwaizumi opened the capsule and poured the pills into his hand. He didn't know how many there were and he didn't care. Placing the open container on the edge of the sink, Iwaizumi started to swallow each of the white tablets. It took him longer to consume them all because Iwaizumi wasn't used to dry swallowing pills.
When he was finished, he took a sat down on the edge of the bathtub. He knew it wouldn't be long before the pills started to take effect on him. After all, that's why he'd gotten them.
The moon could've been full that night. Iwaizumi could never tell. He sat there. Alone in his bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. The fact that he was alone didn't bother him until he realized how loud the silence was.
Was this really how he wanted to leave? Alone in his bathroom, feeling sorry for himself? Was it all really so bad that he couldn't take it anymore? He as sure other people had endured so much more for much longer than he had. The guilt had started to soak in.
It's not like his mother was dead. Or Oikawa. He was very much alive.
Didn't he want to hear Oikawa's snarky remarks and sarcastic comments? And that stupid grin he plastered on his face around the girls?
He could feel the tears burning the back of his eyes. Why was he stupid enough not to think twice about his actions? He obviously still had some will to live, if he was thinking it over again. But this was what he got for acting on instinct.
He turned on his phone. It didn't really matter than Oikawa didn't remember him. He was still Iwaizumi's best friend. Oikawa would still find a way to save him.
He tapped the call button and brought the phone to his ear. After a couple of rings, Oikawa picked up.
"Hello?" Oikawa asked.
"Oi...kawa," Iwaizumi said.
"Look, you must've heard about the acci--. Wait! I know you! You're that guy from the hospital! I thought you said--."
Iwaizumi cut him off. "Oikawa, I need you," he huffed.
"What's wrong?"
"I think... I'm pretty sure... I must've..."
"Iwaizumi-san? What happened?"
"I overdosed."
"What? You overdosed on what? What happened? How? What were you trying to do?" Oikawa's string of questions blasted in Iwaizumi's ear.
"Pills..." Iwaizumi slurred. "For sleeping."
"Oh, man. What on Earth... You need help! That's what! You should've called an ambulance instead of babbling to me!"
"I wanted to hear... your voice."
Iwaizumi turned his body to face the window. The sun was setting and an orange glow was painted over the area. As he did so, Iwaizumi brushed against the pill container. The capsule tipped over the edge of the sink. It hit the floor, pills spilling everywhere. Iwaizumi watched them roll until the very last one stopped.
Then he collapsed.
He laid on the floor with his face against the cool tiles.
He could feel himself getting drowsy.
His vision doubled.
His phone was still in his hand.
"Iwaizumi-san, are you there? Iwaizumi-san? Iwaizumi!"
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Oikawa wasn't able to see Iwaizumi, considering that he was still in the hospital himself. He'd alerted the staff immediately after Iwaizumi didn't respond. Although he didn;t know exactly where he was, he had made a guess that he was at his house. Not that he remembered where it was. Luckily, his mother had been back in the building and knew his address.
He didn't know exactly why Iwaizumi had done what he had, in the beginning, but Oikawa had an idea that it had to do with him. When he had told Iwaizumi that he didn't remember who he was, Iwaizumi had put on a look of undeniable terror and hurt. Oikawa felt something in his own heart when he had watched Iwaizumi scramble out of the room.
What he found to be was most shocking was that Iwaizumi had said that he was his boyfriend. How could he forget something like that? He remembered his mother and his schooling, but not his own boyfriend? Oikawa talked to his mother about Iwaizumi. She had explained that Iwaizumi was a childhood friend of his and sometime during high school the boys finally confessed their love for each other.
That wasn't the worst of it. Oikawa's mother also told him that Iwaizumi's mother was in the hospital, too, because of alzheimer's. Apparently he'd gone to the hospital with Iwaizumi every Saturday. But Oikawa didn't remember any of it.
Oikawa felt absolutely awful thinking about how Iwaizumi must have been feeling. And there was nothing he could do to help him.
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Iwaizumi peeked open his eyes. He stared at a whitewashed ceiling. He turned his head at the sound of quiet beeping. There was a heart rate monitor next to the bed he way lying on. There was an IV drip, too. He scrunched his nose at the sight of the needle stuck into his veins.
The door creaked as it opened and soft patter of feet could be heard from the hallway. Iwaizumi looked up from his arm and saw the nurse fiddling with the monitor.
"Hello, Iwaizumi-san," She said.
"H-h-hello," Iwaizumi croaked. His throat was sore and dry.
The nurse handed him a plastic cup filled with water.
"Here," She said. "I'm Noeru, by the way."
Iwaizumi nodded.
"I just came to check up on you. I'll alert the doctor that you're awake."
She left before Iwaizumi could say anything.
No more than ten minutes later the doctor entered Iwaizumi's room.
"Hello, Iwaizumi-san," He greeted.
"Hello," Iwaizumi replied, his throat no longer dry.
"Well, first things first. You've been unconscious for three days. We've kept you on an IV drip, not much more. We were able to stabilize you fairly quickly after we brought you in. In your current condition, I suggest you take some antidepressants that can be prescribed to you."
Iwaizumi shook his head. "No. No, I don't want any drugs."
"It's probably the best idea for you right now, Iwaizumi-san. I'd also advise that you see a counselor or therapist. Even if it's only once or twice a week," the doctor insisted.
Iwaizumi thought about it. He'd usually confide his feelings and thoughts to Oikawa. But that option was no longer available to him. It was probably in his best interest to vent to someone, even if it was professional help.
Iwaizumi nodded. "Okay."
"Good. I'll put in the order for your medication. Would you also like me to schedule a therapy appointment?"
"That would be great. Thanks."
"Okay, good. I'll go do that now."
The doctor opened the door and the nurse walked in. Then, he exited and shut the door behind him.
Noeru was carrying a tray of food. She placed it on a pull-out table attached to the bed. She also handed him two, small white pills.
"I suggest you eat that slowly. Your body won't be able to handle that amount of food if you eat it too quickly."
"Okay. Thanks."
"Oh, and, the doctor said you could check out at noon tomorrow, your appointment is on Thursday at one-thirty, and you'll get a call from the pharmacy to come and pick up your medication. And take off from school the rest of the week."
She quickly exited the room again.
Iwaizumi swallowed his pills. This time, accompanied by water. He took a slice of bread from the plate and started to nibble on it.
The window was cracked open and the curtains puffed up. The sun was setting again outside. He was grateful to once again be able to see the sunset. He owed it all to Oikawa. If it weren't for him, Iwaizumi would be dead on his bathroom floor, having died alone.
It was this that made Iwaizumi feel as if Oikawa hadn't totally forgotten him.