Charlie's POV
"What? No? What do you mean no?" I'm confused.
He takes a minute before closing his eyes and sighing deeply. "I mean..." He trails off. Oh no you don't buddy, answer the question because I'm quite lost here.
I fold my arms over my chest protectively. I'm not exactly sure where he's going with this, but I did think he was going to be a lot more enthusiastic. After all, he wants a bunch of kids, no? "Are you going to say anything..." I mumble, casting my eyes downward.
"I don't...fuck...I don't think that this is what's best for us," he says. "Not right now, anyway."
"Well it's a little too late for that," I tell him. "Cause it's happening, so."
"Yeah, I know," he snaps. Oh, okay. Cool. "But the timing couldn't be any more fucked up. How the hell did this even happen...aren't you on birth control?"
"I dunno," I sigh and his brows furrow. "I guess like everything else, nothing's a hundred percent. And we've done, you know... it, quite a bit, though I think it happened that one night after we went to see the wedding plan-"
"I just don't understand...why now," I think he says more to himself than me. I'm frustrated; I'm frustrated that he's not comprehending that this is happening one way or another. "Jesus Christ. I just...I can't do this right now."
"Okay, could you try to be a little more excited?" I blurt. I'm so fed up. I get his point, but come on, dude. "I know this isn't ideal, but what else are we going to do?"
"Charlie." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "We already have three fucking toddlers in the house- I mean, hopefully we end up keeping Adrian. Can you imagine four kids all under the age of five? That's fucking mental! And not to mention, I'm going to be going out of the country, you work full time, and we're going to be in and out of court in the next few weeks and...fuck. Just...fuck."
"Do you think I wanted to get pregnant right now? If I did, I wouldn't have fucking gone on birth control, don't you think?" I can't help that my voice comes out loud, but I try to calm myself down for the sake of the kids in the next room and for the sake of just trying to be a rational human being. "I want to have more kids with you; it's what we both want- something we've talked about time and time again. So yeah, I'm excited to have this baby. I agree that the timing sucks, but it's still our baby, Zayn."
"But I don't want it!" He shouts, startling the both of us. At that, it's almost like everything stops. I feel my eyes start to well up with tears. I didn't think I'd ever feel like this...not again. He stands in place with a face full of guilt, but I can't seem to shake what he's said. I shake my head and I think he's talking to me, but I don't hear anything he's saying.
I hate that I feel alone in this. He's supposed to support me, be by my side. And now I feel like a fool for even being excited in the first place. I'm confused, I'm heartbroken and I just...I wanna be alone right now. My eyes rest on the floor, but I see his Nikes come into view. He's holding onto my arms, but I'm still not giving him attention. "Shit. Baby..." His voice trails off, and sounds pretty damn close to how I feel. "Shit. That's not...I didn't mean...that didn't come out right."
I take a step back. "What do you want me to do, Zayn?" My voice cracks in the middle and I feel a large tear slide down my cheek. "Would you prefer that I get an abortion?"
"What? No," he rushes, seemingly appalled that I would even voice such an idea. "Charlie are you fucking serious? You know I don't like that shit."
I wipe at my eyes. "Well I won't do this on my own- I can't go through that again," I cry, looking up at him through my lashes and his shoulders sag. "And I won't bring a child into this world knowing the father-my future husband, doesn't want it." And I couldn't. I'd feel like absolute shit. I'd always wonder every time I look at the child, whether or not Zayn resents him or her.
"That's not what I said...well, that's not what I meant," he says, holding my cheeks between the palms of his hands. "How could I not love our baby? Something we made? Another life we're bringing into the world?" I take a minute to search his eyes. I know he loves our kids with everything he has. And the fact that he can even stand up here and voice the love that he holds in his heart aloud is nothing short of remarkable. But-
"Daddy." Both Zayn and I look down and I quickly wipe the tears from my cheeks, so my baby girl doesn't see me upset. Li stands there looking up at us, but what catches me off guard is that she's holding out her pull-up for one of us to take. "No."
My eyes widen, but Zayn just snorts. "Sooo you hand me a pissy pull-up and just tell me no? What the hell does that mean?"
She's not amused though. She just continues to hold it out. And when neither one of us takes it, she drops it on the floor and walks off without a care in the world- bottom naked. Like, 'here mom and dad, take it.' Zayn and I both exchange looks. "I think that means she's ready to be potty trained."
"Well fuck, I hope so. Because if she's gonna start slinging shitty pull-ups everywhere, I don't know what I'll do," Zayn says. "I don't think I could handle that." He makes a disgusted face but I only manage to chuckle lightly since I'm still a bit upset.
I go to walk after her (because she's gotta put something on her bare bottom), when Zayn grabs my arm. "We're alright, yeah?" He asks me, grabbing on to my hips and drawing me close to his body after I turn around to face him.
I search his eyes once more. "Yeah." I don't know if I truly believe it because I know a part of him still isn't on board with this baby, but I think he- at the very least- realizes that it's out of our hands at this point.
But is it too much to ask for him to be ecstatic?
//
"Hi Charlie, this is Doctor Stevenson calling."
Oh no. I quickly focus my attention on this call, as opposed to absorbing myself in the charts in front of me like I've been for the past three hours.
... I mean, if three cups of decaffeinated tea (that doesn't do the trick at all) and two and ⅓ banana nut muffins isn't a clue to my morning, then I don't know what is.
"Hi," I squeak, an unsure edge to my tone.
"No need to be concerned. Just calling for a follow up. How are you doing?"
Oh. I turn in my rolley chair, so that it's facing out towards the room. "Good. I'm good."
"Good. And you told Zayn?" My doc has actually been super concerned for me after all that I went through with the first pregnancy, especially regarding support systems- being that I only had the two people I lived with- Danielle and Nina accompanying me to almost all of the appointments. And then the turmoil I was in with the second pregnancy? Yeah.
"I did." Though it went less than swimmingly. "He's happy." I won't tell Dr. Stevenson any differently because quite frankly, he's seen me at my worst. And I wouldn't want to know what he would say about Zayn's reaction. He'd more than likely give him an earful at the next appointment.
"Good. Well, I just wanted to go over everything and schedule you for your next appointment. So your hormonal IUD did not get expelled, so that wasn't the cause for the pregnancy. To be honest, the cause doesn't matter so much at this point in the game, but I still like to find out for my patients, so that we can see what we can do better-if anything, you know? So with you, it looks like you're just one of the one in one thousand women who get pregnant with an IUD," he explains. Gee. I'm starting to really buy into this whole Fertile Mertle thing. "And everything looks okay, as of now. I know there were some questions about where we would go after the delivery in terms of birth control for you. We took out your IUD obviously, and I think putting an IUD back in after your delivery is what would be best. It's a bit early to be discussing, yes, but I know that was one of your main concerns. So maybe what I could do, is put in the copper IUD, which is slightly more effective-not much, remember, than the hormonal IUD, but still the best form of birth control available, aside from abstinence, which...clearly you two are not practicing, not that you should have to. Anyway, the main difference with this IUD is that it's spermatotoxic. And to be quite frank, I think Zayn has super sperm, so this might be the way to go."
Oh.
"Any questions for me?" He asks.
I rack my brain, not able to come up with anything off the top of my head. "No, not right now. Thanks Dr. Stevenson."
"Okay, well if something comes up, you know how to reach me. But for now, just think about what I've said and let me know how you feel about it. Now. I'd like to see you at the ten week mark, which you probably know. Sound good to you?"
"Yes, that's perfect," I assure him. He bids his farewells before transferring me to the receptionist so that I can make my appointment. I was still a little in shock, even though I had my suspicions, when I was there the other day, that I completely forgot to book another appointment.
"Welp little blip," I look down to my belly that's not at all any different than it normally is. But that doesn't stop me from eating hella food, so there's that. It's still so wild to me that there's life growing in there. "You're timing was off, but you're here now. And I'll love you regardless. And daddy will come around, don't you worry. The only grudge I'll hold against you, though, is giving me swollen ankles on my wedding day." I smile and run a hand across my belly. "What's that you say?"
"You know, people talk to themselves everyday. But I hear that it's only a real problem when you start answering yourself back-which," I hear, followed by a chuckle. I look up to find Bryson standing in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest. "Exhibit A, but I won't tell."
"Good, because I'd hate to have to tell Laura about how you photocopied your ass on the copy machine that one time."
He lowers his eyes at me. "You wouldn't. Plus, it's like...a must. Whenever there's a photocopier, you have to copy your ass cheeks. You just do."
"You're lucky they didn't catch you," I chuckle. "Imagine if Mr. Kors himself caught you?"
"I would have blamed it on you, babe."
"Right because I totally have hairy, manly asscheeks," I snort. I turn back around to face my computer. So many charts. But gosh, I love this stuff. I'm so glad El pushed me that one winter to take that design class. Then I wouldn't have met Cal, and I wouldn't discover that I'm actually good at something and my love for fashion, and I most certainly would not have this job.
"Hey, I bet you don't complain about your hottie husband's hairy asscheeks. Especially not when he's pounding into you."
Oh. My. God. "Okay, ew." He's actually nuts.
"Because if that was my boo, I'd totally overlook it. Hell, I'd be so far up his ass- pun very much intended- that I'd call it home. Do you think he bottoms?"
I actually turn in my chair to look at him. Like...speechless. One hundred percent speechless. "Do you actually do work? Or are you here to make underhanded passes at my babe?"
"My babe- aww! Heart fucking eyes," he grins and claps each syllable. "God, you guys are such goals. My life is shit."
"Oh stop. You'll settle down eventually with a nice man who will cater to you and your three kids that you adopted together."
"Honey, I'm getting a surrogate. I mean, these genes are too good not to pass down," he says. "And because I'm now convinced David Tutera is my soulmate and he already has two kids, I'll just contribute one so we can have three."
"Well, aren't you kind."
"And speaking of kind and kids...I come with a purpose- well a few purposes. The first, I knew you'd have food." He eyes my leftover muffin. "Secondly, how's my Godbaby doing?" He walks further into the office and takes it upon himself to start feeling on my belly. Woah there. Invasion of personal space, much?
On an aside, you know what I find really frickin' weird? When people like, kiss other pregnant people's bellies or like, kiss other people's babies. Like, no. Don't do that. That shit's not cool.
Anyway.
"Oh please, don't look at me like that. You love it when I fondle you."
"Maybe she does, but I don't think I like it all that much."
Bryson grins, before twirling around and prancing (yes, he pranced) over to the doorway where Zayn stands. I'm confused. I look at my computer; it's only just after twelve. What the heck is he even doing here?
Not to mention it got kind of weird between us after the whole baby discussion last night. Like, he would cuddle me, and then he wouldn't. And I was still upset, and we didn't talk much, and yeah. And then he went outside on the balcony to smoke; he was up for a better part of the night.
But all that aside, frickin' frick, he looks amazing. IT'S NOT FAIR. How does one make a sweatsuit look so good?
But back to the issue at hand: what's he doing here? At this time of day? I mean, the boys aren't due to be picked up from camp until one. And where the heck is Liyana?
Just as I'm about to voice such, does she appear from behind Zayn, dressed in her pajamas. She walks past Bryson (who's got his arms out for a hug from her, but she eyes him and walks past anyway) and over to me. She's just like Zayn and anyone who tells me any differently...fight me. "Mummy!" She squeals, as I lift her up.
"Hi baby," I tell her, kissing her cheek so much that she giggles.
"Well maybe you'd prefer that I fondle you," Bryson says, drawing my attention to him and Zayn in the doorway. "Cause I'd prefer that."
I giggle at how uncomfortable Zayn looks as he side-steps around Bryson and his wandering hands. He moves rather quickly over to where I sit, placing himself down on the couch, just next to my chair. Liyana, of course, tries to get down (so I let her), only to climb up on the couch by Zayn and sprawl herself right across him.
"She wants her nap," he says, laughing. "It's about that time."
I go to reply, but he holds something out for me instead. My heart starts beating in overdrive as I take in the most gorgeous dozen of pink roses I've ever seen, with a custom bow holding the stems in place; a bow that says I Love You.
"Fuck! My fucking feels today," Bryson blurts before I have the chance to speak. But Zayn looks at him enough to get the message across that he'd like for us to have some alone time. Bryson concedes, telling me he'll call me later so we can go shopping (his final purpose for coming in earlier, apparently.)
"I was going to get like, four dozen...like a dozen for each of our kids- cause the new baby makes four, but like, where the fuck would you put them, you know?" Zayn breathes, his cheeks reddening. "And I was gonna have them delivered, but I thought it would be like, a lot more meaningful if I brought them to you personally." He's fiddling with the brim of his snapback as he talks and it's the most adorable thing in the world.
I blink, taking the flowers from him. I'll blame the hormones again for why I start tearing. He's only bought me flowers a handful of times before, but these really top everything. He's not a flowers and candy kind of guy- if you couldn't tell, so for him to do this for me means so much.
I run my fingertips over the velvety soft petals and bring the bouquet to my nose, taking in the sweet fragrance. There's a little card attached, but as I go to remove it, Zayn's hand falls on mine. "The card's shit and doesn't even describe half of what I feel for you, yeah?"
I blink, apparently unable to speak. So I settle for nodding. "There's actually something else I want to give you before I say what I have to say." He reaches into the front pocket of his windbreaker and pulls out a velvet box. Fuck, my heart will probably explode if he says or does anything else. He opens the box and in it rests the most beautiful pair of diamond earrings. "Before you say anything, I know you don't like when I spend a shitload of money on you. But these ones only cost me nine thousand dollars. I got a deal."
I don't know if it's possible for my jaw to be any closer to the ground. Seriously, Zayn? Nine fricking thousand dollars on a pair of earrings?!
"I know that face," he says before grabbing my hand and playing with my fingers. "Don't worry about the price. You're worth that and much, much more."
"Zayn..." I sigh, but he doesn't let me finish.
"Turn around," he says softly, trying to maneuver around Li, who's dozing. He ends up just laying her on the couch next to him, though she tries to fight it. "Let me put them on you." I twirl around in my rolley chair and he adjusts himself, so that he's right behind me. He moves my hair out of the way. "Fuck, this shows how uncoordinated I am," he chuckles, his breath hitting the base of my neck. If I could see him, I bet his tongue would be poked out in frustration.
"It's cause you have big hands." And because I have pervy tendencies, my mind wanders to the correlation between big hands and big...other things. And I flush.
It doesn't take him long to finish, surprisingly, and as I'm about to turn around and face him, I feel a pair of cool lips on my neck. Oh, that's lovely. "Zee," I totally try to say and not moan, but fail-ish.
"I know. Not trying anything...just...I wanted to kiss you, so," he justifies. Is it bad that I don't want him to stop?
But he sticks true to his word and twirls me around in the chair to face him once again. He maintains my gaze, opting to give me a proper kiss. And of course, I wind my hands in his sweatshirt-windbreaker thing. "I love you," he whispers. "And I'm really, really sorry. I know it was a shitty reaction, but I just...there's so much going on right now, you know?" I nod. "But I shouldn't have been a dick about it. The last thing I want is for you to feel bad about this or feel alone because you've always got me. I promise that I'm going to be here for the two of you. We're in this together, yeah?" And damn it to hell, he's the one to put a little distance between us and hold out his pinky. I draw my bottom lip between my teeth and connect my smaller pinky with his much larger one. "Right, Shamu?" He whispers and I can't really manage much else (still) other than a nod. And he totally laughs at me. "We're having a baby, baby."
Damn that award-winning smile.
I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in the crook. It's awkward as hell because I'm in a chair and he's on the couch, so he doesn't object when I climb out of it and right onto his lap, with my knees resting on both sides of his thighs. I love him so, so much.
"I gotta get the boys, love," he murmurs after a while. "But I don't wanna leave."
I make some sort of strangled noise in protest. This is way too comfortable. I just need five more minutes...or forever, you know?
"Hey, break it up, break it up. There's a child in the room. Though I was kinda hoping I'd see some peen," I hear from the doorway.
And this time both Zayn and flip Bryson off.
//
Zayn picks me up from work and I was still reeling from our time spent together in my office. But before he left, he promised me that he'd take me shopping to get some baby stuff. He won't admit it, but I know he's excited now, having had time to think this through.
(And when I voiced such, he said that he was probably always excited, but the stressed out part of him was the one doing all the talking last night.)
I also tried to tell him that we don't really need much, but I think you know how that went.
We did agree to hold off on telling everyone though, because I want to give it some more time. But also, because we're currently on our way to wish Niall a goodbye; he's leaving bright and early tomorrow (or on Niall time) for Boston and I don't want to steal his thunder.
Time's really flying by this summer and I fricking hate it.
Nonetheless, we get to where Niall stays (which is currently on Sophia and Liam's couch). Well, I guess it would be Liam's couch now, since Sophia moved out. It's nothing big, just all of us gathered at the apartment to say our final 'goodbyes' and 'good lucks' since he had the party this past weekend.
But by the time Zayn and I arrive with the kids, Niall's already four shots in...and we were only due to get here less than an hour ago. But it wouldn't be Niall if he weren't buzzed.
Zayn and I said we wouldn't stay that long since a; we both have work in the morning and b; the kids are with us, all of them a little on the tired side (Liam was actually nice enough to let us lay them down in his bed while we say our goodbyes). And c; which I came up with myself, is because Zayn hates goodbyes and doesn't want to prolong the sadness surrounding one of his best friends leaving.
I look around and spot Laura almost immediately, and I can tell that she's shed a couple of tears. I'd never call her out on it, of course, because I value my job.
"Well hello, preggers," she says with a sly grin.
Scratch that: maybe I will call her out on it.
"Shh," I say to her. "I don't want anyone to know yet." She nods, and I know she won't tell a soul...aside from discussing it with Bryson.
I grab her arm and attempt to find Niall, so I too, can get my what-I-know-is-going-to-be-sappy goodbye over with. He's a good friend to me, okay?
I see Zayn dip off with furrowed brows while looking down at his phone, but I don't get to see what's up because Louis is suddenly standing on Liam's coffee table and clanking a glass with a spoon.
This all seems too familiar.
"I'd like to make a toast," he starts, with a slur. Niall's clearly not the only one who's been drinking. "To our dearest, sweetest Nialler. He's putting on his big boy panties and joining the adult world now. I for one, never thought I'd see the day. Nor did I ever think he was getting into grad school, but deta-"
"Louis!" Eleanor bellows, full-on glaring at him.
"Yeah, yeah." He waves her off. "Anyway, I'd like to say that...this is not the end. The five of us are always gonna be the best of friends no matter what. Even if one of us leaves." I can tell he's talking about more than Niall, and I think it's a fair assumption to make in saying that he misses Zayn. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's gonna take a hell of lot more than one of us flying solo to break this bond." He indicates around the room to no one in particular, but I think that's the alcohol talking.
I feel a presence beside me, as I try to focus on the rest of what Louis says. But I'm drawn to Zayn because I can feel the tension radiating off of him from here. He looks a hell of a lot angrier than when he left. Shit. "Is everything o-" I start, but don't get to finish.
"That was my fucking lawyer," he spits before he's looking at me. "Genevieve's getting out in three days. Three fucking days. And she's filed a motion to begin the custody hearing early next week. And it's been approved."
And...cue stress.
A/N: Well hello friends :)
I hope you've all had a fabulous weekend! Here's the next part and I hope you enjoy because it really got me in the feels.
Anyway, I'll try to have the next part up early on this week! And let the web of Genevieve unravel!
So for now, have a good week, and please vote and comment and do as you do because you're all lovely people <3
*UPDATE: If anyone reads this, Adrian's still two. I checked my math lol