I stared at the door after James left, my thoughts trying hard not to let my emotions take over my body. My bottom lip continues to wobble, but I don't let myself cry. I can't cry, I started the argument and my words and thoughts made him leave.
"Mummy." A soft quiet voice came from behind me. I jumped at the voice and spun around to saw both Lawson and Bodhi sitting close to each other, they both had their teddy bears in their hands as they watched from the top of staircase. They both stared at me with the same identical eyes as their fathers, my heart breaks at the sight of both of them but I have to strong for my two boys.
"Yes honey?" I asked walking over to the bottom of the stairs. Lawson stood up with his bear dangling from his hand as he walked down towards me.
"Where is daddy going?" He asked innocently dropping into the step in front of me, Bodhi soon followed and they both sat down on the step.
"Daddy is going to be away from a few days." I whispered bending down to their height, my heart breaking.
"So like when he goes away on his trips to play hockey?" Bodhi asked pulling his battered teddy bear close to his chest.
"Something like that baby." I nodded, biting my lip as tears clouded my eyes.
"I miss daddy when he goes away, he misses a lot." Lawson sighed cuddling his bear close to his body.
"I know honey, I miss him too." I whispered running both my hands through Lawson's and Bodhi's hair.
"Can you read us a story please?" Bodhi asked looking to me with his large grey eyes just like his father's.
"Yes, I can." I nodded smiling at my two boys.
"Yay, mummy is going to read to us!" Bodhi cheered standing up and pulled my hand into his, Lawson stood up and grabbed my other hand.
"Can we read Dino-Hockey?" Lawson asked as both boys dragged me up the stairs to their room.
_ _ _ _ _
Around midnight both boys finally closed their eyes and fell into a deep sleep, their teddy bears cuddled into the chests as they slept peacefully. I smiled at them and switched the light off before closing the door quietly, the house has an eerie quietness to it far worse than normal. Even when James was here, the quietness was never like this.
I walked down the stairs into the kitchen and began to make myself a cup of hot coffee, I pulled out a cup just as the doorbell rang. I set the cup down and walked towards the door, who would call at this time in the night?
I opened the door and stood on the other side is James, he stands in the pouring rain with a bouquet of red roses, my favourite flowers, in his hand.
"I can't lose you." He spoke and walked underneath the shelter.
"I can't watch as our marriage crumbles knowing I am the one causing it. I'm too selfish to see how much you mean to me Y/N. You've been by my side since we were three years old and that was twenty five years ago, now look at us we are married with two beautiful boys and I can't thank you enough for giving me the chance to have a family. You could be out there living a better life than you are living now, you could be married to someone who truly deserves you and is always around because I don't deserve you, you are far too good for me yet here you are by my side through everything I've done. I am too stupid to realize how much you truly mean to me Y/N.
"I love you, I always have and I always will no matter what happens between us. You deserve better than some old hockey player who is never around to help you with anything, you deserve much better than but I can't lose you, you mean far too much to me to let you go like that. If you'll have me back I am going to be here for you and the boys no matter what, I am going to shape up and start being around you and the boys more because they need a father and I am doing a terrible job at being one to them. And I'm doing a pretty horrible job at being a husband, I made a vow to you that I will always be at your side whenever you need me to be and I've broken that, I've left you all alone when you needed my help.
"Y/N, will you let me try again at being a better husband than I have been?" As soon as James began to talk tears erupted from my eyes, and with each word he spoke I could only continue to cry.
"Yes James." I croaked out wiping away the tears with my sleeves.
"Don't cry beautiful." James whispered his body standing over me as he used his free thumb to wipe away tears that still fell.
"Don't you ever dare say you don't deserve me or that I'm too good for you, I don't deserve you. And never again say that you are a terrible father and horrible husband, you are far from that James. The boys love you, I love you more than anything in this world." I told looking up to him, he looked down at me with loving eyes and I knew then he would try everything in his power to do better for us.
"Can't argue with you, can I?" He chuckled lightly, his hand cupped my face.
"No, you can't." I said giving my head a little shake.
"I love you Y/N." James whispered leaning down and kissed me with so much love and passion, far different then before.
Everything was fine after that, James kept his promise and helped out with everything, and the fighting and arguing disappeared and all that was felt in our house was love. The boys now have him read to them every night even when he is on a road trip, they will Skype with him and he'll tell them funny stories from his day and wave them goodnight once he has finished. I, on the other hand, don't have to worry about too much now and with baby number three on the way, I couldn't be much happier.
A/N: I hope you guys like this one! Sorry if it isn't great, it's currently 2 am here and I am wide awake so I may have another couple imagine coming if I get them completed!
-Lauryn.