Edited 7/16/20
"Last time I checked, you weren't a size medium... or a man, Mia. What the hell is this?" My dad's judgmental voice breaks the silence.
"Uh..." I trail off trying to come up with a believable explanation.
"Who's is this?" My dad all but yells.
"It's, m-mine?" I stutter slightly high pitched. "I mean, it's mine." I say, clearing my voice.
"Uh huh." My mom says grabbing the shirt from my dad. "Why does it--Oh my god Andy," My mom yells at my dad. "It smells like alcohol."
My dad shakes his head in disapproval.
"Okay, I'll come clean. It's Aden's." I say pointing to him sleeping on the bed.
I heard Jason laugh from the closet and I muffled it with a weird noise. "Bleh must be catching a cold..." I trail off.
"Excuse me?" My dad says narrowing his eyes.
"It's a new perfume you guys!" I tell them before I had the process of even acknowledging what I'm saying. "It's called 'ode to... liver cancer...?" I trail off awkwardly. "It's uh, long lasting." I nod. "Annoyingly long lasting." I tell them narrowing my eyes at the closet door that's hiding Jason. "You think it might even be permanent."
"What?" My mom asks me utterly confused. "What do you--oh!" My mom says nodding understandingly. "I see what this is about." My mom looks at my dad and he throws her a knowing look.
"Of course Amy." My dad tells my mom. "How could we be so stupid to not see it before."
My mom violently shakes her head. "I have no clue."
My dad walks toward the door and twists the nob to leave. "I'll let you ladies talk." He says before exiting.
Ehh, what the heck is happening right now?
"Sweetie, have a seat." My mom says pushing me over to the bed. "A mother knows best, you know."
I internally groan. Not this again.
"I-I um, alright?" I mumble sitting down.
"Honey, honey, honey." My mom tsks. "You should've come to me if you felt like this."
"Feel like what?" I question.
"Drop the act Mia. It's okay." My mom smiles. "Sometimes women have these, oh how to word this... Sometimes woman have these urges, and that's okay."
I'm sorry?
"It's all natural! And it's completely fine, you here me? It's part of the stage." She continues.
"W-What stage?" I asked.
I'm actually afraid to her the answer. I'm sure it'll leave me traumatized.
"Our hormonal stage." My mother says nodding furiously. "Come now, say it with me--Hor-mo-nal." She says slowly, looking at me to repeat it.
And I was right.
"Say it sweetie." She commands.
"H-Hormonal." I repeat. "Mom, I'm 18..."
"Very good!" She claps with a million dollar smile plastered onto her face ignoring me.
Please kill me. Please, pretty please with an infinite amount of cherries on top.
"Now Mia, with these urges comes another very important thing. And do you know what that is?" She asks.
I feel like you're gonna tell me either way.
"And what's that mom?" I unwillingly ask.
Feel free to keep that lovely piece of information to yourself mother.
"Sex."
Hey, excuse me? Yeah it's just that I'm not dead yet so can you maybe do that? Kay, thanks.
"Sex is when two people who love each other very much comes together and become a whole. It's a beautiful thing baby. But you're too young for it though. I'll tell you when your ready so don't worry."
You're going to tell me?
"Sex can be described with a key and a lock. Or a key and a key, or a lock and a lock. Basically it's when--,"
"--No no." I stop her with both my hands up. "No need for the explanation."
My mom nods. "Sweetie, sex is a great responsibility to. Remember, protection is always available. Protection is prevention!" She beams.
I want to cry. I want to roll up in the corner of my room and cry.
"Do you understand?"
"Unfortunately." I groan.
My mother raises an eyebrow in question.
"I mean, thanks for clearing that up for me. You certainly knew exactly what I was going through."
"Well a mother does know best after all. Now, I'm already late for meeting so I best be going. I know you have tons to think about don't you Mia?" She winks at me.
Absolutely gross.
I muster up a smile in response.
My mom smiles and walks toward the door. "A mother knows best Mia." She says before closing the door behind her.
What the heck just happened?
The closet door fling open with a laughing Jason sprawled on the floor not being able to contain the uncontrollable laughter that poured out of his mouth.
My whole face flushed in anger and embarrassment.
You really couldn't kill me?
****