Zayn's POV
"You're being really quiet." One hand rests on the steering wheel as I comment on Charlie's behavior; she's been keeping to herself ever since we left Lucky Strike. We're now on our way to Jawaad's hotel to pick up the kids. I look over to her when there isn't a response. "Babe?"
"I'm just thinking..." she says quietly, staring out the window.
"You can share if you'd like," I respond after a few minutes of silence. Quietness is just so strange for her, so whatever it is, I know it's weighing heavily on her mind. "What you're thinking about, I mean."
I don't think she's gonna take me up on the offer, but then, "You're a hypocrite," comes out quietly as she's still staring out the damn window.
Okay...I furrow my brows. "Ah...what?"
She turns to me then. "I said, you're a hypocrite." She looks just slightly pissed off-but more disappointed- now that I'm able to get a good look at her. But more than that, she sounds so damn calm and that scares me more than anything. I don't give much of a response because I'm waiting for her to elaborate. "You expect me to be okay with you talking to May, Siobhan and Aspen. And when Genevieve was around, I used to have to be okay with her overstepping boundaries all the time. When these girls from your past appear, I usually brush it under the rug because I know you're committed to me. And not to mention, you make it so I don't have a choice but to be okay with it. But like," she pinches the bridge of her nose, "Like, the moment Luke comes back into the picture, or I coincidentally run into Alex, whom I never slept with, it's a huge problem for you and you make a big show out of it. But you don't stop to consider that they too, are part of my past. And I know that it's not because you don't trust me; I get it- it's them and they're usually trying to make a move or whatever they're up to, but have I ever given you any indication that I want to be with either of them?"
"I...no," I mumble sheepishly. I can't even argue it because she's absolutely right.
I quickly glance over, noticing that she's raising her eyebrows at me. "And more than that, do you stop to think that I might have a problem with you pretty much blowing me off for an entire night to chat it up with three girls you used to have sex with? I mean, come on, you of all people know me; I don't like that kind of thing- who would, really- and I'm not majorly confrontational on top of that, so you know I'm not gonna make a huge to-do about it. So the least you could do is take my feelings into consideration, you know, respect me- the girl you plan to marry."
I still don't know what to say, but I feel really shitty...excellent.
"I guess I'm just having problems understanding why there's a double standard with you," she sighs, relaxing back into the leather seat. "And why you feel the need to have sex with me when you get jealous. Though I've been thinking, and I reasoned out that maybe you're trying to prove something to yourself as opposed to proving something to them."
And what the hell is that supposed to mean? It's not like she doesn't enjoy angry slash jealous sex. If I'm being honest, jealous sex is some of the best sex we have. And she's never complained about it before. "I don't-"
"And then I started thinking about how...maybe it's insecurity. And from there I realized that it's because you're scared. You know I love you, and while you've come a long way, you're still worried that there's a chance I'll leave- that I'll find something better one day and that's it-we're done. And as far as the jealous sex thing goes, you pounce on me, not realizing that if I wanted to leave, sex wouldn't be able to keep me around."
Oh.
She reaches for my hand. "Zayn, everything I need is here...with you. I would not have agreed to be your wife if I felt differently. And I wish you could see that." I know that, I just...I'm still at a loss for words because God damn it, why can she read me so well. "You don't have to say anything. Just let it marinade for a while and trust that I'm not going anywhere. Ever."
And I do exactly that- let it marinade. I become the quiet one, even as we pick up the kids from Jawaad (who damn near meets us at the lobby door) and begin the trek back home with two and a half sleeping toddlers.
She has most certainly given me a lot to think about, some things I suppose I knew deep down, but thought and maybe hoped she hadn't picked up on. Except for the double standard thing, because I never even realized I was doing that. It's not like I'd ever choose any of those girls- or anyone for that matter- over Charlie. I mean, come on guys, she means everything to me, in case you missed that huge as fuck detail. I guess I just get so caught up in the moment that I forget about her feelings, of which I'm gonna try my damndest to be mindful from now on.
"I didn't mean to make you feel bad, Zee. I just wanted you to be aware," she says, slipping off her tanktop and shimmying out of her jeans as we finally make it to our bedroom after a long day. I toss her my t-shirt from this evening and she slips it on over her thin frame. "I'm sorry if-"
"Don't apologize to me Charlie, seriously," I interrupt as I turn to face the closet and undo my belt buckle. "I should be apologizing to you. I was a dick tonight. This whole double standard thing...I didn't even realize I was doing it. And as for the other stuff you said, you're right. I just get caught up in my head and shit cause you're pretty ace and I don't want you to leave, you know, cause like, you mean quite a bit to me and I don't know what I'd do without you, yeah?" Who knew admitting your insecurities out loud would be so tough?
"Not leaving...you're stuck with me." She whispers the soft reminder that I need to hear from time to time, suddenly slotting against me and resting her head in the crook of my back as my hands fumble around with my zipper. "We're like Catdog." Her fingers scratch across my happy trail. "Love that show."
"Well I love you."
"And I love that you're a big mush ball. My big-but-really-tiny teddy bear." She grins, and true to her quirky nature, she makes my mind and heart feel at ease.
*
"Daddy?" I blink open my eyes after the initial thought that I must be dreaming wears off, and find Marley sitting right on top of my torso, bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Though his eyes do hold that sleepy look. "Daddy, you gonna come wid me because my friend is cryin'. Hims is cryin' and I thinked him sawed da boogeyman."
It takes me a second to get myself sorted. "Where is he, bud?" I croak, rubbing at my eyes. I blindly reach for my phone in an attempt to light up Marley's face so that I can see him better and check the time...and hurrah, it's two fifty fucking six in the morning. "Is he still in your bedroom?"
"No," Marley exclaims. "Hims is standin' right dere because-because I telled him to come wid me and we gonna get my daddy cause you gonna make da boogeyman goes away."
I peer around Marley, barely making out Adrian's silhouette off in the near distance. "Okay, buddy. Let me get up." Marley climbs off of me-less than gracefully, since he knees me right in the ribs- and I stretch before standing up.
I walk over to Adrian with Marley in tow and kneel down to his level. "Hey there little guy. What's goin on?"
Adrian doesn't answer, so Marley steps in. "You gonna tell my daddy cause him's gonna fix it!" Marley belts. "You gonna show him."
I ruffle Mar's hair. My poor little guy's so concerned. "Mar, why don't you wait in the bed with mum and I'm gonna bring your friend back to the room, okay? Remember when you and I used to go face the monsters together?"
He nods his head. "Yeah, we telled dem dat I not scared cause I a big, strong boy and dey go'd away. You gonna do dat for my friend?"
"You got it, bub."
Grabbing Adrian's tiny hand, I begin walking the short distance down the hall towards Marley's room. I guess if Adrian's going to be living with us, I'll need to convert the guest room to his bedroom. Or get another bed and put it in Marley's room since it's massive. Yeah, that's probably best.
Once inside, I crouch down and hold him at arm's length. "So what did you see?"
He begins to sniffle, and it takes him a few moments to answer me once he starts getting choked up. "No. M-mommy. Mommy yell. Boom boom."
"Mummy ye..." I trail off, my blood running cold. I don't think he saw the boogeyman at all. Well, maybe ..in the form of his shitbag mother in dream form. I've got to gather myself before I speak to him again. "D-did you...did you have a dream, Adrian?"
He shakes his head yes, so I continue, having a pretty good idea as to what the dream was about. "Was mummy in your dream, buddy?" And he nods once again. "Did mummy, um, did mum hit you in your dream?"
He begins full-on crying now, throwing his arms around my neck. "D-daddy. Mommy boom boom to m-me."
I fold my arms around him, kissing the top of his hair. If I could get my hands around her neck right now...she'd be so fucking done for. You see, this is why I have temper issues...people continuously piss me off.
This kid has been through so much and God knows the extent to which it goes, considering we didn't even get the half of it at the doctor's office...just enough to bring Genevieve up on charges. But I do know that he's traumatized as hell because of it, and I'm going to try my damndest to get full custody of this little boy.
My private investigator needs to hurry it the fuck along.
"Don't worry, Adrian," I try to soothe, running my hand over his dampened hair. My voice cracks though, somewhat in the middle. "Daddy's not gonna let mummy do that to you anymore." He sniffles, but I feel him nod against my chest. "I promise."
We sit like that until Adrian calms back down, but I can't bring myself to let him sleep in here tonight, so I pick him up and we make our way back to mine and Charlie's room.
When we get in there, I'm not at all surprised to find Marley knocked out and squashed right up against Charlie's front. Her arms are around him and she's humming a soft tune into his hair. "He woke me up," she whispers, chuckling a little. "Wanted to have a whole conversation at this time of the morning. But he must have tired himself out from all that talking...he literally just went back to sleep."
I smile at her, and she looks slightly confused when I'm holding Adrian and begin climbing into bed.
"What happened?" She asks as I put him in the middle of the bed, right next to Marley. "Marley told me you were with him and something about the boogeyman, but..."
I feel my jaw clench as I plop down next to him, sitting against the headboard. Thank God for California King beds considering many of mine and Charlie's nights are spent with extra guests joining us in bed, in the form of the kids. "His fucking mum is a-" I stop myself when I look down and see Adrian peering up at me with big brown eyes. "He had a bad dream," I correct myself, but I connect my eyes with hers and give her a look, one that she understands.
She reaches a hand out and runs a thumb along his cheek. "Poor baby. I hope she rots in hell," Charlie seethes. She gets just as worked up as I do, if not more. Adrian slides further next to me and rests his cheek on my thigh as Charlie pulls the cover over him and Marley.
"You should try to get some sleep, babe," I say to Charlie when I feel her staring at me. I already know sleep is a lost cause for me at this point, and I'd rather not the both of us have to suffer.
"You too," she says, reaching over the boys and grabbing my hand. "They're safe now, Zee."
"Yeah," I mumble. But you can't save them from all their demons- something I know all too well, and that shit eats me up.
Charlie's POV
I don't know how I forgot about summer camp. And fortunately slash surprisingly, given that Marley's already been in it for over a week now, we were able to get register Adrian in the same camp...which Harry helped with quite a bit, since he's one of the counselors.
Zayn normally drops them off in the mornings, but he had to be in the office early and he took Li with him again, so it's my turn. Adrian didn't want to go, but Zayn promised him he'd take him to M&M's World after camp lets out; he's hoping that once he gets past his first day, he'll start to like it. But I'm pretty sure he's still holding him to M&M's World.
I, on the other hand, made myself a doctor's appointment for this morning. But I didn't tell Zayn because I don't want him to freak out; he's already got a lot to handle with Adrian having the nightmares, the investigation on Genevieve and his work stuff. I just...yeah.
"Mummy, I goin to da new school today again?" Marley asks from next to me in the cab. We try to explain this to him all the time, but in his mind, everything that has an adult, a bunch of other kids and lacks mom and dad is pretty much school.
"It's not school, babe, and it's gonna be a lot of fun, you know that. You're gonna go in the pool, do some art projects, do music...lots of fun stuff. And you're going to see your friends. Plus, Adrian's going to be there."
"Oh, okay. Dey gonna be friends wid my friend?" He says, pointing around me to Adrian. I nod, pulling the both of them into me.
The summer camp is fairly prestigious-go figure, given the preschool; I think Marley's teacher recommended it to Zayn when he picked him up one day, telling him that most of the kids go on to that before preschool officially starts in September. And Zayn went for it claiming, 'only the best for his babies.'
"Cherries, em em?" Adrian asks as we start filing out of the taxi. "Candy?"
I smile at him. "Yes sir. Daddy and I are gonna pick you and Mar up from camp and then we're gonna have even more fun!" I scrunch my nose at him and he smiles, wrapping his arms around my legs. I'm actually excited...don't tell anyone. But I'm a big kid, okay? What do you want from me?
*
So yeah, I had to drop the boys off early to camp since they start at nine and my appointment is for nine. But it's the only one I could get, so I made it work.
"Charlotte Dunn?" The receptionist calls out and I jump up, following behind her into one of the exam rooms.
I'm not waiting very long when good old Dr. Stevenson enters. Oh yeah, that one.
"Well, well, well..." He's smirking when he walks into the room. "I'd say I'm surprised to see you, but then again...I'm not," he grins.
Is it acceptable to give your doctor the finger? No, you say? Well.
And don't kill me, but I might have left out a tiny detail regarding my appointment. You know I'm at the doctor, but I sort of never told you which one. And yes, it's that doctor. Yes, I Charlie Dunn think I am once again, with child.
Yeah, that's what I said.
It's just...honestly, it comes down to the cheese, and I voice such to Doctor Stevenson. I mean, I didn't come up with this revelation until we were on our way home from Niall's party last night (which sucks because I was drinking quite a bit), and it pretty much freaked me out, which is part of the reason I shut down on Zayn. Don't get me wrong, I was also upset with him, but I couldn't fight off the thoughts that I was gonna have four little ones in the house at a measly twenty two. I think I started hyperventilating at the thought.
"So you're telling me," he reiterates, leaning back in the rolly chair, "that you think you're pregnant because you ate cheese the other day?"
I think about this. Okay, so when he says it, it sounds foolish. But I know me better than anyone else does. "Pretty much, yeah."
"I'm not following," he says, furrowing his brows.
Sigh. "Well, so when I've been pregnant- both times- I craved cheese throughout the pregnancies. And after I delivered, I went back to hating it. And I totally had a slice of chicken parm pizza with olives on it the other day and loved every second of it. Like, I texted Zayn just he could go get it for me. And being the best ever, he went and got it, but that's not important. The important thing is that I actually wanted the cheese!"
He pauses, taking a long look at me, as if he can tell whether or not I'm pregnant by how I look- which; listen doc, I know I look like crap right about now due to zero sleep and getting three toddlers ready to go in the wee hours of the morning. And my doc's good, but I don't think he's that good.
"We prescribed an intrauterine device for you, yes? The five year one, according to my notes."
"Yeah, but like, I looked it up, and you can get pregnant even with one of those fancy things in place." Ah, Google.
"Yes, but the odds are very slim. I prescribed this one for you because it's among the most reliable birth control methods, which is something you expressed great interest in the last time we met."
"I know, it's just..." I fiddle with my fingers. I don't want to be pregnant, per se. I just...I want to know.
"When was your last period?" He asks.
"Um...a couple of weeks ago, but it wasn't anything super heavy, with some light spotting near the end."
"Uh huh, and when was the last time you had intercourse?" He asks, jotting some notes down. My doc likes things the old fashioned way, paper and pen.
"Um," I blush. "Yesterday," I whisper.
"Well, before that," he probes. Great.
"Ah...I think it would have been a couple of weeks before that...the week of the fourth of July...twice in that week." Though I guess it's more than twice because one of those nights- when Zayn re-proposed- we did quite a number of rounds, so there was um, a significant exchange of bodily fluids, if you catch where I'm going with that. I flush thinking about it; I don't know why I'm so embarrassed. It's my doctor, for crying out loud. "And then maybe a week before that."
"And did you use condoms?" He continues, still scribbling away.
"No." That was kind of the point of me getting on birth control. You know, given that Zayn kind of forgets in the moment and likes the 'natural feel of things', I'm sure I would have been pregnant twice more already had I not gone on birth control shortly after I had Li.
He stands up then. "Okay. Well, let's do a blood test, shall we? And then we'll do a physical exam."
*
So in the midst of me letting it all hang out, Dr. Stevenson drew some blood and now the results have come back. I've been left on my own while I wait, so I've occupied my time by texting Zayn and trying to coordinate this afternoon.
"Charlie?" The doctor pokes his head in. "Your results are in."
"Okay." I feel like I'm on the Maury Povich show, honestly. Except well; I know who my children's father is.
He sighs, flipping through his chart. "Okay, I don't know if a congratulations is in order or not, to be honest with you."
Zayn's POV
"You ready, Li Li? Now that you've wrecked on shit twice in my office." And I absolutely do not have the energy to clean up after her today. There's always tomorrow since I've got to be in this office for the next couple of weeks.
"Daddy," she says, handing me the doll baby in the mini stroller once we've stepped outside my office and I'm locking the door.
"What would you like for me to do with that Li? I don't quite think I can push that," I explain to her, but she insists, trying to put it in my hands. So, you know, I attempt to push a fucking stroller that's a third my height.
"Happy?" I ask her, as she walks by the my side down the hallway. She looks up at me and grins, freely sipping on her chocolate milk. "Fucking sap," I mutter to myself.
And of course, all the people from the office are staring at me as we stand waiting for the elevator. Cool. And it certainly doesn't help that I'm carrying her Care Bears backpack (that have coloring books and a box of crayons in them today, thank you very much). It's a wonder people take me seriously around here.
I half hold the stroller, half lift her into the elevator, both while trying to use my ass to hold the doors open. Luckily, someone sees me struggling and helps me out. "Hey boss." I turn to spot Gina, my savior.
I give her a smile as she leans down and ruffles Li's hair. Li, shockingly, offers her a smile, but clings to my leg, nonetheless. "Thanks for giving me the afternoon off," Gina says, straightening up and smoothing out her skirt.
Gina's been pretty much doing double (triple?) duty, as my receptionist, assistant and PR person since Louis and Genevieve no longer work for me. And I won't deny that her job fucking sucks at the moment. But I'm trying to find someone, I am. I'm working on it. Really.
Okay, so it's on my list of shit to do. And it's definitely not priority. But she got a pretty clutch pay raise, so that works, right?
"Well if I'm ducking out early, there's no need for you to be here, yeah?" I take a look at my watch; at this rate, I'm going to be late getting the kids. Charlie can sort of wait, no offense. But I don't want to be late picking them up because the counselors and teachers get pissy.
"True." It's silent for a little while; this elevator's moving hella slow. "So, are you excited for Dubai?"
Oh yeah, so Dubai's a thing that's happening for sure. And probably within the next month. How the fuck I'm gonna manage that along with the custody case and three kids and a wife is beyond me.
The case. I haven't even heard from the investigator yet. I'm starting to get concerned, despite him telling me that it could take a couple of weeks for him to find anything out. But I'm just hoping Genevieve's not proving to be a difficult one.
I never thought I'd be this stressed out at the age of twenty two.
I groan, letting my head fall back and bang against the elevator wall.
"So I take it that's a no," she says. "Don't worry. I'm going too, so it'll be fun!"
I laugh at that. "I just don't know how the fuck I'm gonna fit this in my schedule."
"You'll manage," she says as the elevator stops and the doors open. "It's only for a week. Plus, I've got faith in you, if that means anything. But for now, enjoy your afternoon with Charlie and the kids."
I pick up Li and drag the stroller along, stepping out after Gina. "Will do," I nod at her as she looks at me over her shoulder. "Have a good night, Gee. See you tomorrow."
*
"I'd ask you why you're being so quiet, but like, the last time I did that, you basically ripped me a new asshole, so."
"Did not," Charlie snorts as I wrap my arms around her. I somehow managed to pick everyone up in time, and even change my clothes. Albeit; a white t shirt and black jeans, but still. I like being comfortable. "I was being honest. Honesty is the key to life."
"Sure, Jan."
"Did you say my favorite word again?" She giggles. So I may have let 'jaan' slip once and she was really confused at first, but flushed like mad when I told her the meaning. And she couldn't stop fucking smiling like a crazy person.
"That would be jaan, love. Just now I said Jan, as in the Brady Bunch. But good try," I explain as she pouts. "Would you like it if I called you jaan more often?"
She looks up at me and presses a kiss to my lips. "I would very much, kind sir."
Not gonna lie, this afternoon has been quite relaxing. Though I bought more M&M's than I care to admit. Listen, Marley wanted them in this weird ass green color and wouldn't settle for less than a pound of them. And Adrian wanted every God damned shade of red ever made.
And don't get me started on Liyana. The Entire. Fucking. Rainbow.
"Daddy, we gonna get da shirts!" Marley tugs at my hand as Liyana leads the way to the racks of clothing. As if I'm not already a hundred fucking dollars in the hole on candy alone.
Marley grabs a green t shirt that's most definitely not his size, while Liyana tries to grab everything in her path. Adrian sort of stays behind- content with his candies, but Charlie ushers him along and he eventually picks out this cool cup thing. But I definitely catch Charlie picking out a shirt in his size and throwing it in the basket. I swear she loves this shit more than they do.
"Come on Li Li. You want dat one?" Marley points to a shirt and Liyana nods, so Marley picks it up and throws it in the basket.
"Let's see if that's her size, baby," Charlie says, grabbing the brown shirt that Marley just placed. Charlie puts it back, but grabs one in a different size and puts that in the basket.
I walk over to them, taking the basket from Charlie, just to look through- three packs of candy crayons, three M&M pillows in assorted colors, the t-shirts, the bags of M&Ms, and backpacks for each of the kids in the shapes of the candies. And that's not including Charlie's shit; she has two fleece blankets- one for her and one for me, a t shirt in red for me because she says I look 'fucking hot in red', a pair of rather colorful boxers for me; and a coffee mug, a sweatshirt and a pair of flip flops for herself.
Twenty thousand dollars later.
Just kidding, but that's what it feels like. But I've had a lot of fun, and that's mostly in watching my kids have fun. I'd do anything to put a smile on their faces.
I'm in the midst of taking some of Liyana's M&Ms, when my phone rings in my pocket. I fish it out, noticing a number I don't recognize pop up on the screen. "Hello?"
"Mr. Malik. Jack Mackey here- the private investigator. I've got some information I think might be of interest to you."
A/N: CLIFFHANGER! Please vote and comment and such!
What do you think?
Stay tuned because it all starts to unravel next chapter!
And can we talk about Mind of Mine?! I can't even...dRuNk is my SHIT! What are your favorites off the album?
So I hope you all had a lovely Easter :)
And on a really important side note, all the terrible things going on in the world really breaks my heart.