~ Rosabelle ~
Waking in the evening I yawned and stretched pushing against the bed.
"Feel better, baby?" I jumped slightly feeling Troy's arms around my waist.
"Yeah." I looked at him over my shoulder.
"Good." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. Then he pulled me closer and rested his chin above my head. I sighed content to lay in his embrace all night.
"How long was I out?" I asked him gently rubbing my thumb over his arm.
"A few hours." I hummed a response. A few hours was not that long but longer than most days these past few weeks. "Do you want to go for a run?" He surprised me with the question.
"I don't know." I thought about it. Mostly I was terrified to be trapped as an animal if any of those beasts came back for me. "I want to train with the other females."
"Rosabelle, I don't want to start this argument again." He sighed. I rolled over looking into his eyes.
"Then just agree with me. You know it makes sense." I frowned as his eyes glazed into a look I'd come to know so well. Reaching out I touched his face softly and waited.
"I don't want to see you hurt again."
"Then please let me do this." I implored. "It's right and I know that I can handle it. Please, I need something to do I can't possibly sit around all day doing nothing."
"If you go to the appointment with the therapist I will help you train, both as a human and a wolf." I wanted to squeal with joy but I was terrified to be a wolf and even more terrified to talk to a stranger.
"Fine, deal." He smiled.
"Your appointment is tomorrow at 3:00." I groaned softly.
"I'll be there." He kissed me on the lips briefly. "I also want to talk to you about school."
"What about it?" He seemed surprised that I could think about school
"I have only this semester left although I've been missing for most of it so I don't think it's worth going back to." I paused. "I want to finish, however, so I think I'll take summer classes online and then take my diplomas in the fall."
"That sounds sensible." He nodded along with my thoughts.
"I've brought my computer from my house along with some other things." That reminds me I needed to bring the rest of the boxes in. "There are some boxes in my jeep I have to get." I started to move but he settled me down keeping me still against his body.
"Someone else will take care of it, just rest." I didn't want to rest anymore my body was so used to minimal sleep and after two hours I wanted to do something. Something so I wouldn't have to think.
"I can't sleep any longer," I admitted. He rubbed my back soothingly and shushed me holding my head against his chest. I listened to the steady rhythm of his heart pressing closer to him. For this moment I didn't have to think about anything other than his heart beating.
******
"Welcome, I'm Dr. Andrews, I understand you had a difficult experience would you like to start with that?" I watched as the middle-aged woman sat across from me at her desk while I sat in the chair on the other side. She was wearing a skirt suit with a blouse and had her blonde hair pulled neatly into a bun at the back of her head. Small square glasses sat atop her nose framing her deep blue eyes. She waited expectantly while I stared at her trying to figure out why I was here.
"No," I whispered. "I don't want to discuss it." She blinked surprised and then shifted her papers lying in a neat stack in front of her.
"Alright is there something that you would be willing to talk about?"
"I have nothing to talk about. I'm fine."
"I see." She tapped her pen against the paper. "Well how about why you came here today?"
"My boyfriend was concerned. He made the appointment for me," I explained keeping my countenance even.
"Why was he concerned for you?"
"He thinks that I'm engaging in self-destructive behaviors." I crossed arms over my chest and her eyes followed the motion.
"What sorts of behaviors?"
"Not sleeping normal hours, and others."
"How much do you sleep?"
"Enough," I answered knowing and hating that it sounded so defensive. It was the same answer I gave everyone who asked. She noted my crossed arms and slouched posture with her eyes. Her hand noted what I'd said on her pad.
"How much do you think is enough?" She questioned leaning across the desk.
"Look I don't want to be here and these insistent questions aren't making me want to be here anymore so can I go?"
"We still have half an hour so is there something you'd be comfortable talking about?" Dr. Andrews raised her eyebrows.
"There is something that I've been thinking about."
"What's that?" She looked excited.
"I really want to leave." She frowned while I raised a brow expectantly. She sighed.
"I can't help you work through your problems if you don't talk to me about them." She cajoled. Yeah not working on me.
"I am fully capable of working through my own problems, thanks." I stood up and walked to the door. Opening it I walked out into the waiting room and looked up shocked to see Troy sitting on one of the chairs. I walked over to him. "What are you doing here?" I hissed conscious of the other people in the room.
"I came to pick you up." He looked at his phone and then back at me, "Don't you have more time with the therapist?"
"No, we finished early."
"Okay, what about a follow-up appointment?"
"Already in her schedule, same time next week." I lied and he nodded. He stood up and took my hand leading me out of the therapist's office. At the car, he opened my door like a gentleman and then helped me in before going around his to his side as I buckled my seatbelt.
"I'm glad you did this, Babe." He reached over and squeezed my hand smiling at me. "I know you didn't want to but I think its the best thing for you." I forced a smile in return. Lying to him physically hurt me. "Are you still mad at me?" He asked sounding concerned.
"No," I assured him, "I'm just tired."
"I think you'll sleep better now that you've opened up a bit." He patted my knee and I smiled again before looking out the window. I leaned my head against the headrest and sat silent.
At home, I got out of the car without waiting for Troy and he bounded around the car coming to my side in a hurry. "I have a surprise for you." His eyes twinkled with excitement.
"Me?" Looking at him in question and concern. He nodded enthusiastically covering my eyes with his hands. "What is happening?" I placed my hands over his trying to move them.
"Stop. Just let me take you to your surprise."
"I can't see the stairs." I insisted trying to take his hands away. He kept them in place.
"I'll lead you up the stairs." He coaxed gently crowding me forward.
"But I could trip and fall, and I could just walk up the stairs before you cover my eyes."
"Just, shut up. I will guide you up the stairs and you'll like the surprise got it?" He sighed in frustration.
"Fine," I huffed and held onto his arms as he guided me onto the porch and into the house. I heard a shuffling noise coming from somewhere in front of me. "What is that?"
"You'll see, just relax. I have to move away now but you stay here and keep your eyes closed." He waited until I nodded and then his hands left my face. I heard his footsteps walk away from me and then some more shuffling before he came back. "Okay open," He commanded and I opened them blinking against the bright light. He was holding a box with a big white bow on top. He thrust it at me and I took it.
"What is this?"
"Just open it." He insisted.
"Okay, okay." I shook my head but took the top off the box looking inside to see a puppy. Gasping I put the box down and crouched in the hall picking up the tiny little baby. "Oh my goodness!" I cooed at the red merle colored mini Aussie mix. I cuddled him close to my chest gently petting him. "Thank you." I sat on the floor and held the little puppy.
"You're welcome. What are you going to call him?" Troy crouched down next to me reaching out a hand which the puppy licked enthusiastically.
"I don't know," I whispered nuzzling my face into the puppy's fur. He squirmed in my arms wiggling until I had to set him on the floor. He bounded around on tiny legs sniffing and wiggling his entire butt. I laughed at his antics as his tiny paws clicked over the hardwood. I smiled watching him explore the house. "Balto!" I exclaimed suddenly as memories of the beloved children's movie came back to me. Troy looked at me quizzically. "I'm going to name him Balto," I said. He thought about his face pulling into its serious look before he nodded.
"Balto," he tested the name on his tongue. "I like it." Turning back to the small puppy casually perusing the house I clicked my tongue and his tiny ears perked up as Balto looked in my direction.
"Come here, come on Balto!" I called him softly and his tiny claws clicked over the floors as he bounded back to me. " I think he likes it," I cooed picking him up. Balto yipped wiggling around an frantically licking at any part of me that he could reach. I couldn't stop smiling as his energy consumed the house.
"We should probably take him outside, he's been in that box for a bit." Troy stood up and held out his hand as I set Balto down. I took his hand and stood up walking through the kitchen to the patio door. Balto trailed along content to follow me wherever, although I suspected that he would be content to follow anyone. I looked at my mate and guilt suffused me. He worked so hard to surprise me with arguably the best thing anyone has ever given me, and I shoved his help back in his face. Together we walked out of the sliding glass door, his hand on my lower back in a guiding way. Turning back we laughed as Balto struggled to figure out the door, running back and forth in front of the track. Finally, he yipped and pawed the air before leaping dramatically over the track of the sliding door and landing on the porch. Ears perked and head cocked he began sniffing the porch. I leaned against the railing of the porch and looked out at the backyard. My wolf whined reminding me that I hadn't let her out at all since I'd been released. I ignored her pushing away the images she sent to me of us running together. "We can go for a run after this." I jumped when his voice sounded next to my ear.
"No, I'm fine." I cringed at the use of the familiar term. I was going to have to stop saying that. His soft sigh of disappointment indicated he thought so too.
"You haven't run as a wolf yet." Gently his tone cajoled me putting the thoughts back in my head. My wolf practically purred at his suggestion turning in circles. I watched Balto find the stairs and struggle with them for a while before I answered.
"I'm just a little wore out." I couldn't look at him as I said the words. Truth be told I don't know how to be a human and a wolf. When I was being held captive all I ever wished was to be strong enough to shift so I could tear every finger that touched me off. Now I wanted nothing to do with that side of me.
I wanted and needed to be me. Who I was before everything that happened. I needed to be confident and almost carefree again.
"Why don't you rest for a while and I'll make us some dinner," he offered.
"I'm just going stay out here with Balto for a bit and then I'll go upstairs," I promised him with a soft smile. He squeezed my arm and placed a kiss on my forehead before going inside. I moved so that I was sitting on the porch step and Balto came running over jumping on my side until I picked him up and placed him on my lap. He yawned and laid down while I pet my hand over his back. "What are we going to do?" I asked the open air while Balto laid content in the evening sun. There was no answer, not that I expected any. I sighed and picked up Balto setting him on the grass and walking away. He sniffed and then bounded along beside me. His head dropped as he scented everything trotting along while I walked. If he ever fell behind I would hear him snort and then he would catch up to my side as his little tongue lolled. "Oh, Balto." I laughed at him and he perked his ears at me. "Race you back to the house!" I took off running towards the house and he easily surpassed me running circles around me as I laughed. Running up to the porch I stopped and picked up Balto holding him against my chest. He panted content to try and lick my chin. I dodged his attempts and set him down on the grass so he could do his business. Sitting on the step once more I watched him traipse over the grass sniffing at every spot.
"You know its more fun to run as a wolf," I turned to see Troy walk out from the kitchen with a tray in his hand. "I thought you were going upstairs?"
"I was, but I got distracted." My eyes drifted back to Balto as Troy joined me on the step. His warmth seeped into my skin and I gave him a sidelong glance. "What's on the tray?" I queried turning my attention back to the dog.
"I thought maybe something fancy tonight," He pulled the cover off the tray showing me the steak and potatoes with roasted asparagus. My eyebrows raised as I looked up at him.
"That is fancy," I commented picking up a roast asparagus and popping it in my mouth. He scoffed as though that was an offense. I grinned and chewed the vegetable. Although he was faking offense I could tell that he was pleased I was eating something. He set the plate in his lap and cut a piece off the steak. Spearing it he picked up the fork and put it in his mouth. He offered me another asparagus piece and I took it chewing while I watched him. His face was tired and he'd not yet shaved so stubble coated his cheeks and chin. Dark purple smudges rimmed his eyes and his hair was a mess like his hands never stopped moving through it. He looked exhausted and I knew that this wasn't easy on him and he never mentioned his brother so I didn't know if he'd shown up yet. Greyson's disappearance had to be hard on Troy and I knew something but I couldn't tell him. It probably wasn't that helpful anyway. I didn't know anything about Greyson's whereabouts for over two months now. He could be anywhere. Anything could have happened to him. Plus I didn't know if he was back or not, nobody had said anything. Not to me at the least. "When does training start?" I asked brushing a piece of hair out of my face. I watched his face for any hesitations. His eyes tracked Balto's movements over the grass as he chewed.
"Tomorrow, I think." He looked at me gauging my reaction to his answer.
"Good." I nodded turning back to the view. That was what I wanted to train in self-defense so I could defend myself. I ran a hand through my hair. Why did I feel like something was wrong? I rested my elbows on my knees and placed my hands under my chin. Balto clambered up the bottom step and scraped his paws against my shins. I leaned down and picked him up placing him on my lap. Absently I pet his head while he nipped at my fingers.
"You shouldn't let him do that, you know." Troy gently pulled Balto off of me and placed him down on the porch.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Bite at your hands. It'll teach him bad manners." It seemed so trivial to be sitting here talking about a puppy's manners.
"Right of course." I patted the puppy's head when he wormed his body in between ours.
"Are you feeling alright?" His large palm laid over my forehead feeling it.
"Yes, I feel fine," I answered. "There was just a lot of excitement today." He still looked worried. "I'm really okay." I insisted sitting up straighter. He didn't look convinced but thankfully let it go. Balto squirmed his way back onto my lap. I pet him while chewing the inside of my cheek. My thoughts turned back to menial things. A fork laden with food appearing in my vision made me blink back to the present. My eyes flicked up to his as I accepted the steak and potato bite to see his face filled with tension. "Why are you so worried?" I asked covering my mouth with a hand so I didn't spit food at him.
"You seem different," his eyes floated over my face and took in everything about my appearance. "There's something wrong." The back of his hand gently traced my cheek as he moved a piece of my hair out of my eyes. I looked down focusing attention on Balto who was back to nipping at my fingers.
"No, no biting." I chided gently smiling when he cocked his head and his ears perked up at the sound of my voice. "You are an adorable brat." I cooed to him in baby talk. I turned my attention back to Troy. "Honestly, everything is great I have you, this little brat, and everything is going okay." I smiled at him and placed a hand on his cheek patting it gently. He seemed surprised at my affectionate touch and I withdrew my hand. He took it in both of his holding my hand. His face betrayed the worry that clouded his gaze even with my platitudes.
"Okay," He answered and I nodded. That settled I stood up and picked up Balto carrying him in the house with me. "Don't you want some more?" He offered me the plate and I picked up a potato popping it in my mouth and mumbled a thank you.
"I'm going upstairs to take a shower," I kissed the top of his head and walked inside depositing Balto on the floor of the kitchen. I jogged up the stairs and stripped on the way to the shower.
~ Troy ~
I turned my head and watched as Rosabelle sashayed inside with Balto under her arm. Balto. What a funny name for a little puppy. I shook my head and turned back to the porch. I still couldn't shake the sense that something was wrong. Rosabelle was happier than I'd seen her in days, hell weeks, but something was still not right. She seemed more pensive somehow. At least I knew that she was getting some sleep even if it was only a couple of hours a night. But it was worrisome that every time I brought up a run or being a wolf she changed the subject. I didn't want her to reject that side of herself. She would have to shift to train, but I worried that she would resent her wolf. I turned my head when strangled yelping came from in the house. Panicked I stood up and jogged inside until I stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Balto was up on his hind legs at the bottom of the stairs yipping up the stairs where Rose's familiar scent lingered.
"You stupid pup." I sighed picking him up while he tried to lick whatever part of me came in contact with him. I held him out at arm's length and inspected the scrawny thing with critical eyes. His little head cocked to the side and his tongue lolled out of his mouth. "Damn, cute though." I tucked him against my chest and carried him into the kitchen to feed him. Taking out some food and a bowl I set him on the floor with it.