I stumbled out of the portal door, pressing my fist as hard against my chest as I could to counteract the pressure. A tremor jolted through me, and I had to grip the wall and wait for it to pass.
What had I done? How could I not know? How had the information never come out during any of my lessons? Whatever it was, I had been horribly wrong. The infatuation had not been brief. I still felt it. And infatuation was anything but the right word for it.
I had felt it to a lesser degree when I had first seen her after our swim in the lake, after she had bound herself to me unintentionally. The desire to sample another taste of her blood had overwhelmed it though. It had been even stronger the second time, when I'd woken after Cort had killed me. Now, being with her was all I wanted. Being with her was the only thing that would ease the painful tension in my chest. I didn't know why—or even how I knew it. It was fact—instinct.
But I couldn't. The memory of her horrified face was burned into my mind. She would never forgive me for my ignorance.
The thought of what Pharro might do to me held little weight.
I stepped over a large chunk of white stone in the jagged, holding cell doorway, the ghostly burn of Orion's skin against mine tormenting my mind. I made it down the steps into the trench without tripping over myself through the duration of another drawn out body tremor, and didn't have to hold onto the wall for support until I stood in front of the cell I had left Angquin inside.
There had been so much heat. I had felt an ocean of Poeir—Poeir that wasn't mine. The more I had given in to my desire and the harder she had held onto me, the more powerful I had felt.
Had she felt it? She had to have. Could it have been one-sided?
"Stop!" I yelled to the huge, empty room. I had to rein myself in. I couldn't think about it. Perhaps if I got her off my mind, the tension in my chest would go away.
What had Daniel done? Was Angquin alright? Would it put Orion at risk?
"Enough," I growled. I didn't feel an ounce of concern for Rilyin's life, and that alone should have alarmed me. But it didn't.
I pressed my hand to the cell and brought up the control pad and one-way-window. Angquin crouched at the opposite end from the door, rocking back and forth, drops of blood scattered around her, her forehead pressed against her knees. Something was very wrong.
I hit the speaker. "Angquin? Can you hear me?"
She didn't respond. She didn't even stop rocking.
I wouldn't go in until the situation was fully assessed, so I hit the two-way button and turned off the electric current and neutralizer for the inside. The entire sphere turned transparent.
"Quin?"
She froze.
"Are you alright?"
She looked up slowly. Her eyes met mine and, for a moment, I thought she might burst into tears. But a deep growl rumbled up her throat and her eyes turned black. She was on her feet before I had time to blink and slammed into the wall in front of me, slicing the claws of her good hand across its surface. The cell shook and cracks erupted across the wall.
And then I saw it. The subtle ripple of air around her head and the black X burned into her skin below her left ear. Daniel had fastened a Vek Veehm to her—the lesser version of a Directive Crossek brand—compelling her nature to change. The thing would be linked to Daniel's own life force. She would be like this until he was dead.
I swiped my hand across the screen and the neutralizer and electric current powered back up.
She raised her hand to strike the wall again and I flinched in anticipation. But she stopped. She blinked, the black disappearing from her eyes, and her hand fell to her side and she dropped into a crumpled heap, the Compellation Veehm cut off by the cell itself.
I swore. "Daniel, you sick bastard."
"He isn't the only one," a growling voice said behind me.
I spun, almost losing my footing as another tremor shot through me. Pharro stood a few feet away, both of his hands glowing red, his stare murderous.
"We should have had our talk sooner."
I dropped my gaze and allowed the strength to fail in my legs, grimacing as the metal grate dug into my knees. Perhaps if I showed complete humility, the man would show mercy. I doubted it, though. I wouldn't show myself mercy if I was in the same position.
"Sir, I did not know," I said quietly.
"What you have done is unforgivable."
"I know."
Pharro grabbed the front of my shirt with glowing hands and slammed me against the trench wall. "No, you don't. Or you would not have done it. How could you not know what you did? I can't even fathom—" The man's eyes were livid. "I should tell you. That would probably do you more damage than I could ever do to you physically short of killing you."
I could hardly breathe. How could it be worse than what I already felt it was? What had I truly done? I nodded forcefully. "Tell me."
Pharro's grip on me burned hotter, scorching my skin. "What?"
I deserved it. "Tell me. Please."
I wondered, for a moment, if Pharro really would kill me. I'd seen that murderous look enough times to recognize it.
"What you have done is permanent, Tritteon," he hissed. "It is something you can only do once in your lifetime. And you will never be able to choose another. Two FengDohrn only do what you did to connect themselves together when they have chosen their...life partner. A Marra, I think your people call it."
"Marra Raiynness," I stammered, icy cold nausea slamming into my gut. I could've sworn the world tipped sideways, the ringing in my ears deafening as the pressure in my chest intensified, Pharro's fiery grip the only thing holding me upright. "How—how could I have never learned this? Wait, but she is not a FengDohrn."
"That's what I would like to know. How could you know how to do that, but not know it's true purpose? The knowledge of connecting yourself to a human is not widely known. Very few individuals would ever..." Pharro's voice faded off and he let go of me. "Desraeon," he growled.
"The Oria?" The world turned violet and the iciness melted away. "But why would he—"
"He has his hand in everything. He is responsible for this. He has to be."
The smell of him burned my nose before he appeared. "It's true," Desraeon said behind me. I spun in time to see him stepping into the trench. "I am responsible for all of this."
"How?" I demanded.
"Simple. Rilyin did exactly as I said and left a few things out of your lessons."
"He would never—"
"He did exactly that."
Pharro took a step toward him. "Why would you do this?"
"That is something we don't have time to discuss before I go," the Oria said to Pharro. He stopped in front of me. "Orion needs you immediately."
"Not after what just happened," I growled.
Desraeon grabbed my arm and shoved me toward the exit. "Get up there, FengDohrn."
I snarled and swiped back, claws extended. The Oria dodged backward and I jumped at him. But Desraeon threw his hands out and I froze in midair.
"I have had a lot of experience with your kind, Tritteon," he said.
He flicked his hand and I slammed into the trench wall. His hand glowed white and I dropped my head to the ground in surrender. I didn't know how, but I could sense the Oria's deadly Magic equivalent to the disintegration Veehm. I wasn't idiotic enough to ignore when I had been beat.
"If you weren't so irreplaceable, I would kill you right now." He jerked his chin upward. "On your feet."
I stood slowly, watching the Oria's hand as the glow faded.
Desraeon stepped closer, towering over me. "She will need you to help her recover. I returned this memory to her." His middle finger glowed blue. I stepped back, but the Oria's hand on the back of my head held me in place. Desraeon flicked the finger between my eyebrows.
I gasped as the experience flooded my mind and I fell to my knees as pain exploded through my chest. I looked up at Desraeon in horror.
"Go to her," Desraeon said. "And convince her to stay."
I didn't need to be told again.
* * * * * * * * * *
Heart pounding, I slid to a stop in the Infirmary doorway, that pressure in my chest near unbearable. Orion huddled on the floor beside a bed, her hands on her head, her head on her knees, her entire body shaking. And seeing her there sent a tremor through me, so powerful it almost brought me to my knees.
"Orion," I whispered, dropping beside her.
She didn't respond. So, I took her arms and pulled her against me.
"He was right," she sobbed against my chest. "I never imagined...it was so awful. If they are all like that, I—I don't want any of them."
I squeezed her tight, my skin tingling with heat wherever it met hers. "I know. He showed me."
My breath caught as she pulled back to look up at me, her knuckles digging into her own chest. Her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen and she flinched the same moment the pressure in my chest worsened.
"Desraeon showed you?"
I nodded, staring at her lips—her soft, quivering lips. I hated how much I wanted them. No. I hated that she would hate me for doing it. I hated that Pharro would kill me if I did it.
"Daniel wasn't lying. I wanted so badly to believe he was."
I drew my fingers down the side of her face, brushing strands of hair off her cheek. My fingertips burned pleasantly.
She closed her eyes, her shaking slowing somewhat, like she enjoyed it herself. "What are you doing?"
"I don't know," I said roughly, leaning closer.
"Stop. Please." She pushed away from me, shaking her head hard. "Tritteon, it isn't even real."
I flinched, the pressure turning into a tugging sensation that urged me to let her go. And for some reason that was enough to break me out of the trance. "Careful," I said, forcing a small smile. "You are telling me what to do."
Her eyes widened. "Compulsion? That part worked?" She shook her head. "I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't believe it had actually worked."
I wasn't capable of holding onto the smile. "You, of all people, have no reason to be sorry."
She made a face. "Of course I do. I, of all people, know exactly how horrible it feels. No one should ever have the power to make you do something."
"That is what you fear the most, isn't it?"
She nodded, her heartbeat slowing even more. "Yes."
"Then staying would be your best choice."
She didn't respond. I didn't need to read her mind to know she hadn't been telling the truth when she said she wouldn't make a decision for another two weeks. Her mind really was already made up.
"You do not agree with me."
"No. And, honestly, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to handle the next two weeks." Her eyes lifted to my face for half a second. "Especially now."
"You're right. Whatever this is we are both feeling probably has no grounding in reality—"
"Probably? You think it might?"
I gritted my teeth. "Sorry. Terrible word choice. What I am trying to say is that it does not matter. Would you not be safest with those who you can already trust?"
"But it does matter. Because I not only have these two ways I can be controlled, but now I don't even have a say in how I feel about someone." She withdrew further from me and grimaced the same time I did at the chest pressure.
"But if you stay long enough, we should be able to eradicate one of those ways. We will practice together until neither of us feels the effects of it."
She rubbed her chest.
I motioned to my own. "And together we can figure out how to stop this from happening."
She shrugged, rubbing her trembling hands together. "Yes, well, I suppose you have two weeks to convince me."
"You're lying."
She nodded. "Yes. But I'm sure you'll give it a valiant effort regardless."
I looked down, considering. I wasn't sure if my new mental state was the basis for my drive to find a way to get her to stay, or if there was some other reason. Whatever it was, I really didn't care, so long as I found hope of eventually convincing her.
"What about what Daniel said? I heard the conversation. And that memory made it clear he was not lying."
She flinched.
"If you were killed because you found a way to fight your brand, that should mean, with practice, you could eventually learn to resist it completely."
Her head tilted as she looked up at me, and I saw it. It was there, deep inside her squinting eyes. Hope.
After a long moment, she nodded slowly and leaned toward me, extending her hand. "Fine. Tritteon, I promise I will not make a decision for two weeks. But if there isn't noticeable progress by then, I won't promise I'll stay."
I grinned. "It is a deal then." I grasped her hand and heat burst up my arm.
I wasn't sure who moved first, but suddenly she was in my arms, her lips pressed hard against mine, her small, powerful hands gripped in my hair. That powerful fire burned through me, Poeirs I had never before possessed. Her skin burned hotter and a ravenous ache raged in my chest. I needed her. I needed her so badly. How could it not be real—
A sharp sting struck me across the face. Orion shoved me back with Thet filled hands, knocking me across the floor to the Infirmary doors, her eyes wide, the delicate skin around her mouth red and raw from my coarse face.
When she spoke again, she was winded. She swore. "This is going to be a really long two weeks."
* * * * * * * * * * *