A/N: Lyric credit goes to Jessie J, song in side!
Dan P.O.V.
'Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart,
Tears don't mean you're losing,
Everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are.'
I rolled my eyes and turned off the radio, but instead of getting the silence that I hoped I would get, my mind began racing.
Was I being true to myself? Yes. I think so. For the majority. Maybe. Maybe not. No. Not at all.
For the past few days, my room had become my sanctuary. I kept locking myself away because I was too confused to do anything or see anyone and my procrastination was worse than usual.
I couldn't bear to see Phil because I just felt guilty about going behind his back. Inviting PJ over was supposed to be a simple, friendly event that everyone did, but instead it messed up my emotions and feelings and now I wasn't sure about anything.
My thoughts kept drifting to PJ so I couldn't focus on anything. It felt me feeling frustrated, because didn't want to think about him, but at the same time I loved seeing those green eyes reflecting in my mind and remembering that signature playful smirk.
I jumped out my skin when someone knocked on my door, breaking my train of thought that I should most certainly not be having.
"Yeah?" I replied and the door opened slowly. Phil shuffled in with a hunched up posture and a tear-stained face and my protective boyfriend side kicked in straight away at the sight. "Phil? What's happened? Who am I killing?" My tone of voice went from being concerned to damn right furious, I was fuming. Why would anyone ever hurt Phil who had a heart of gold?
He only shook his head but looked the tiniest bit happier when I placed my hand on his arm.
"What's wrong?" I asked him again, calmer this time.
"I don't want to talk about it. Can we just... Be together?" His voice was croaky and felt awful I hadn't been there for him recently.
"Of course," I nodded my head and smiled at him when he placed his hands on either side of my waist lightly and then looked up at me, bright blue eyes asking me for permission. He snaked his arms around me, pulling me close so we were pressed up together, and I put my arms around his neck.
I had missed this. I had missed the comfort of being close to someone, now I regretted spending the past few days alone when I could've been cuddled up to Phil, who meant the world to me. From the way I felt out of practice, the time we spent apart could've been years but I was quickly getting used to it again.
"I'm sorry for being so distant," I said quietly through our embrace.
"I understand, I didn't want to bother you but... I really need you right now."
"Don't worry. Do you want to go to bed or watch Death Note?"
"We've seen that hundreds of times," he laughed half-heartedly.
"We'll watch it anyway, come on babe," we went into the lounge and Phil curled up into me on the sofa when Death Note started playing. I watched my hand as it played with Phil's hair, realising how nice it was to tune back in and reconnect with him. Being away from him seemed to be as hard as it was easy, but either way, it meant we hadn't argued for a while.
I suppose the quote 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' was true, since whenever we spent some time apart I always appreciated Phil when we got back together, but it made me wonder if it applied to PJ too, and if I could, some way or another, get rid of the reappearing thoughts that left me wishing the black locks that were slipping through my fingers were brunette and tangled curls instead.