Breath.
Life.
Death.
Everything is white around me, maybe not. I cannot place what color it is because one time it is glowing the other time it is dim, and suddenly it fades to..to white.
Where am I?
I see myself dressed in a sea blue, boat necked ball gown. My hair is twisted into a bun with curls dangling on my exposed shoulder.
My prom dress.
Where am I?
"You look absolutely breath taking."
My eyes widen.
That voice. That admiration. That love.
I turn around and see him, if not better he looks more hot than he did on our prom night. Black tux with a sea blue tie to match mine.
Side wept chocolate brown hair that fall just above his eyebrows. Slightly reddened cheek and that kissable lips that now encase the most dazzling smile ever. His blue eyes twinkling with love.
His broad shoulder and athletic built that swooned every girl. The way he stood with one hand shoved in his blazer pocket and the other rubbing the back of his neck.
Delcan.
My Delcan.
"What? Don't I look incredibly handsome?" He teases winking at me.
Butterflies, no rain storms swirl in my stomach.
Delcan is standing alive in front of me. Breathing each breath. Living the moment with me.
"Please, don't flatter yourself." I tease back.
He fakes surprise but then grins at me that turns my feet into jelly.
"Well, I don't know about me, but I sure do that you are absolutely beautiful beyond worlds can imagine." He says slowly, with each word taking a step towards me.
Is it getting hot in here?
My heart beats rapidly as he closes the distance.
"Delcan." I whisper.
"Humm." He hums letting his eyes fall on my lips.
He is so close now that I feel his heat on myself.
And-
Being the clumsy he is, he trips on an invisible stone and falls on me, sending us both on ground.
We burst out laughing. He rolls away yet lies next to me. Close to me.
I sober up, and lay my head on his chest.
The white background fades and the place turns dark.
The night sky comes above us, with the full moon that outshines the other stars.
His hands snake around me and holds me tight. Secure.
He kisses the top of my head while I grin like a lovesick puppy.
His heart beats beneath my ears. My head rises and falls with his rhythm of chest.
"Lil, do you miss me?" He asks after a peaceful silence.
I answer looking at the moon, "So much."
Don't cry.
"I miss you too, badly."
I nod.
He gets up and so do I.
Still sitting he pulls me onto his lap so that I face him.
God, could anyone have such a gorgeous face? And the moonlight is doing no help in keeping my fluttering heart down.
He smiles and that smile somehow takes away all of my pain, fear and hurt.
"I love you." He says.
I cry. My tears are this time out of happiness.
"I love you too." I say back while his thumb wipes away my tears.
He then kisses me.
I kiss back.
We kiss with all passion, with all longings, with all hurt.
We kiss as if this were our last breath.
He holds me impossibly closer with his hands tightly wrapped around my waist. I wound my arms around his neck and clutch him never wanting to let him go.
Here, I am kissing the one boy that stole my heart.
I am kissing that very same boy who was my first friend.
I am kissing the gorgeous boy who was my first crush.
I am kissing my Delcan who is my first love. True love.
We break apart and rest against our foreheads breathing raggedly.
His eyes darken and he gives a smug grin.
"Gosh, I missed that." He says.
I blush scarlett not being able to form any words.
His eyes then turn to pain. Broken. Sorrow.
He cups my cheeks and pecks my nose tip.
"I will always love you, Lilly Saunders." He tells.
Why do I feel like something so blissful and pleasurable is going to come to an end?
"Delcan."
He pecks my lips. He pecks my cheek. He pecks my chin and finally kisses my forehead.
"I want you to be happy. I want you to live your life." He says staring at my eyes with depth.
"But I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I whine.
He smiles sadly, "You will. I will always be with you. Watching you. Looking over you."
Why do the words sound final?
Like..like a goodbye.
I cry, this time out of pain.
"No Delcan, you are spending it WITH me."
"I wish. Believe me I badly want to live with you, grow with you and finally-"
"Finally?"
"Die with you." He laughs humorlessly, "But..I guess I am ahead."
Tell me all this is real.
That heart beat, his blood filled skin, his breathing are real. Right? They mean he is alive right?
"No." I shake my head and pull back.
Delcan lingers his hand on my cheeks. I hold them tight.
I feel his warmth, the soft skin.
"I love you, Lilly Saunders. I always have and always will. I want you to move on, move ahead. But remember me. I will always be your first love." He teases while I cry.
"Find a guy, though not equally smart as me." He jokes and I chuckle with tears, "He will love you just the way I do. He will, who can resist your undeniable charm? I want to see you getting married, have tons of kids, wait on second thoughts, not ton, two is enough I guess. And promise me you will name one them after me."
I bit my lower lip and nod.
I will. I will do anything for you, Delcan.
He wipes the tears and kisses my eyes.
"Goodbye." He says.
I close my eyes, his warm hands leave my cheek. The presence of love and bliss evaporates around me.
And I feel tired. Exhausted.
"Lilly? Honey?" I hear dad's voice.