The next day I was forced to go to the Music Room, as promised. Since I didn't want to go, I decided I wasn't going to talk to anyone. I could show them it was a useless cause. I didn't want to do it, and therefor, I wouldn't.
Healer Green came to my room after breakfast, which I refused to eat, to talk to us. He looked at the untouched food, disapointedly.
"You didn't eat a thing. Are you feeling okay?" He asked, concerend. I shook my head yes, although I physically felt fine. Since they had switched my Day Combinations for, perhaps, the seventh or eight time, I wasn't feeling quit as ill. He put himself down to my level, as usual. "Can you tell me what's wrong?" I shook my head no. He continued to look at me. "Don't feel like talking today? Oh, well. May I take your temperature, just to make sure you aren't running a fever?" He reached for the thermomoter in his robe pocked. I nodded, and he put it in my mouth. When he took it out, he studied it and put it back into the pocket.
"Everything seems normal. You must just be feeling a little under the weather is all. Do you still want to visit the Music Room?" He questioned. I just looked at him. He thought for a moment ."I would really like you to, but if you don't want to, that is okay as well."
I thought about it a little more than I had earlier. It seemed that I would make Healer Green happy, as well as Lucius, if I went to this stupid room. That was a plus; It always made me feel good then I make them proud. On the other hand, I really didn' want to go. I didn't want to see the stuff and possible people that were there. Why did I have to go?
"Will you go?" Lucius pushed some hair out of my face. I glanced up at him.
"Yeah..." I replied. So much for the not talking to them today.
"Good. I am very eger to see whatt you think." Healer Green told me before standing back up to his full height. I took Lucius's hand and walked with him to the door. Once out of my room, the Healer lead us to a door that was only a few down from his office. He took out a set of keys from a different pocked than the thermometer and put it in the lock. THen, he turned it, opened the door, and took the keys back out. Lucius nudged me inside. I looked around.
Inside the white walls were decorated with a rainbow colored music staff that wrapped around the room. The hard floor was covered by a big carpet that had the Circle of Fifths printed on it. A couple drum sets were around the room, along with two doors that were probably instrument closets. A shelf took up most of the left wall, and was filled with folder upon folder of sheet music. A big metronome sat in the middle of the room. Lastly, a beautiful Grand Piano sat untouched in the corner. I stared at it, but didn't move.
"What do you think?" Healer Green asked, surprising me. I whipped around to face him, then shrugged. "Would you like to play?" I looked at the ground.
"Go on, Elle." Lucius encouraged. "Please?" He seemed to really want me to play. I couldn't disapoint him. So, I pushed myself to walk over to it. I pulled out the bench and sat on it. Then, I put my fingers on the keys.
It had been so long since I had played. The last time I had was for Scabior, during the small amount of time I had between the getting back from the beach and going back to Hogwarts. Still, I knew I could still play. It was like writing your name: Once you learned how, you couldn't forget.
Well, actually, you could. Gilderory was living proof of that .But that was a little different. I hadn't been hit by any curses that would make me forget....
Curses. I had been hit by curses. Lots of them. Mostly unforgivible ones. A few stupifying ones...
I stiffened, remembering all the times my father had Crucioed me. Remembering my Father in general. Us hiding. Us eating. Us running. Us freezing...
My father who only kept me alive because my mother made him promise to before she was killed...
Killed. So many peope killed. My Vincent. My sweet, sweet Vincent...
Vincent loved me so much. He's why I had to get better. I had to make him happy, if he were watching me from up there. I wanted otmake him happy. After all, one of us needed to be, and he was the one who deserved it. He was so nice, so caring. He always made sure I was happy. Now, I needed to make sure he was. I needed to-
"Eleanor?" Healer Green asked. I snapped out of the many thoughts that must have zipped through my mind in a matter of seconds. "Are you okay?" I looked around. With out noticing it, I had stood up again. My chest was heaving as I tried to catch my breath. Tears were streaming down my face. Strangest of all, I was smiling. Actually smiliing. I let the grin fall and faced him. "Are you okay?" He repeated. I slowly lowered myself down on the bench again.
"I-I don't know..." I truthfully answered. What was that?
"What happened?"
"I-I was just...Just thinking about playing and then my thoughts went...crazy?"
"Lots of things at once?" He tried to help me explain. I nodded.
"Uh-huh. It all just kind of came..."
"Those are called 'racing thoughts.' It's scary, isn't it."
"Uh-huh." I said again.
"But it's okay. It's a common effect of Bipolar Disorder. Hopefully, when we find the right Combination, they will not happen. Is this the first time this has happened?"
"I think so..." I rubbed my eyes. He knelt down beside me.
"Do you want to go back to your room?"
I glanced at Lucius. For some reason, I had a feeling he still wanted to hear me play. I shook my head no.
"No?" He seemed surprised. "If you don't want to, then I suppose we can stay." I silently turned back to the piano. My fingers were just over the keys when I was distracted again.
This time, the door opened. A short-ish man with sandy blond hair came in. He seemed a little surprised when he saw us.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Hello, Healer Green. I was just getting a trumpet for one of my patients."
"It is no problem at all." Healer Green smiled. He caught me starring, wide eyed, at the strang man. "Eleanor, this is Healer Graylie. He is one of the other therapists here."
"Hello, Eleanor." Graylie greeted. I flinched and reach for Lucius. I didn't like the looks of this guy. "Do you play?" He waited for a reply, but got none.
"Will you answer Healer Graylie?" Lucius asked me. I didn't nod or anything. I just turned right back around and stared at the piano keys. "Do you just want to play?" He tried. Again, I did nothing but stare on. Lucius sighed.
"She's shy." Healer Green explained.
"That's okay. I'll just get the trumpet and leave. " Healer Greylie smiled and went into one of the doors in the room. He came out with a beautiful, bronze trumpet, confirming my suspicions of the doors being instrument closets. "Nice meeting you Eleanor. I hope you have a nice day." He said, then left, reclosing the door. The room was silent for a few moments before Lucius spoke again.
"What are you going to play for us?" He asked. I blinked.
All of a sudden, I just... didn't want to. Not that I wanted to before, but now I really didn't want to. I didn't care if it would make them proud, I didn't want anyone to hear me. What if I wasn't good enough? What if I had forgotten how? What if they hated it...
Bad scenario after bad scenario played in my head. This made everything seem even worse, because the truth was, the closer I got to the piano, the more my palms itched for me to play. But I didn't want to infront of them. I wanted to be alone, but yet, I didnt' want to leave Lucius. I needed to know he was there, all the time.
After all, I had left Uncle Severus and I never got to see him again. Vincent left me, and he parished. Scabior was away from me, and he died as well. Even my father, being only a couple rooms away, died a tragic death while I was away from him. All of these things proved that if I kept him with me, nothing bad would happen to either of us.
I began to cry.
"Are you sure you wouldn't like to go back to the room?" Healer Green questioned. This time I nodded my head yes. "I bet you're hungry, aren't you?" I looked down at my stomach. An annnoying pain was poking at it: hunger. Funny, I hadn't noticed it earlier. I nodded my head yes again. "I'll get a new tray sent to your room so you won't have to eat that food that has been sititng there, okay? Lucius," He turned to my caretaker. "Can you take her back while I file a couple things?"
"Of course." Lucius replied.
"Great. Also, when I get back, I would like to discuss her Group Discussion Session with her and what she should be expecting. I would like to start with that in the next couple days."
"Not a problem. Do you head that, Elle? You're going to start Group Discussion soon. And it will go much smother than last time, right?" Lucius put a hand on my back. I flinched, and he pulled it away. "Sorry." He appologized. I crossed my arms and closed my eyes. I just didn't feel... right. Something was off.
The only problem was, I probably could never find out what exactly was wrong, because, now a days, nothing was right with me. Everything was off. Or everything was my new normal: It just depened on how you looked at it.