It has been six months since the last time we talked. Six months. He never texted me again after that night. I messaged him many times, asking if he was settled in. Asking if he liked it there. He never answered me. Not once, and today he's texting me like nothing happened?
Caitlyn: Yeah
I hit send biting my lip. What does he expect me to say to him? I can't just act like nothing happened. That night he came to say goodbye and he kissed me for God sake then gave me a stupid note and left. I still haven't read that note. I knew that if I read it I would get more sad. I had decided that I would read it when I'm over him and I guess now's the time.
Austin: I'm back :)
My heart stopped as I read the words on the small screen. He's back? He can't be.
Caitlyn: What?
I'm not going to give him much response because as much as I'd hate to admit it, I am still upset.
Austin: I'm back in town...
Caitlyn: Why?
I know that sounds bitchy but fuck it.
Austin: I'll explain that in person, do you want to meet up sometime?
Yes. I do, but I won't. I can't face him again. Plus I'm with Chase. I don't think he'd be too happy with me seeing Austin.
Caitlyn: I'm really busy lately
Austin: ....
Caitlyn: What?
Austin: You can't even spare an hour to meet up...
Is he being serious? He's giving me this attitude? Does he think I'm going to be all happy jolly?
Caitlyn: Yup. Just like you couldn't spare a second to text me.
I hit send, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming. He's ruining my night.
It's funny how just a couple months ago he was one of the few people who could make me happy and now it's come to this.
Austin: That's what you're mad about? I told you it wasn't a good idea to talk....for safety reasons.
Caitlyn: I'm sure that one text wouldn't have hurt?
Austin: You know what, fuck this, I thought you might be happy to see me after all this time but it doesn't even fucking matter to you.
Caitlyn: Yeah? Well a lot has changed since you left Austin.
Austin: Clearly.
Is he mocking me? What does he mean by that?
Caitlyn: What's that supposed to mean?
Austin: Doesn't matter, wouldn't want to take up any more of your time anyways.
I flip over and let out a frustrated scream in my pillow. Can't he just apologize for once? I mean, I know one text wouldn't have killed him. He knows it too. I still remember the look in his eyes when he told me that. There was no concern, no fear, nothing. That was just his way of trying to forget me. I know I'm right about this because when I hung out with Cam a couple time's I would see he was texting Austin. Even calling him sometimes. As always he was the one who made the decision. Just like all the other times.
Caitlyn: Is it that hard for you to admit I'm right? You didn't talk to me for months because of 'safety' but you could talk to Cam all the time huh?
Autsin: He's my brother Caitlyn.
Caitlyn: That's not the point Austin. The point is I know the safety thing was just an excuse to not talk to me.
Austin: Well what the fuck did you want me to say? 'I won't talk to you anymore because I'll miss you too much?'
Austin: Is that it? Do you think you would have been okay with that?
Tears slip from my eyes. I keep re-reading the words 'I'll miss you too much'. Even something like that would have made me feel better. I felt so used and thrown to the side. I felt as if it was so easy for him to forget me.
Caitlyn: Never-mind, forget it.
I turn my phone off and just decide to sleep. I can't explain all this to him now. It's all in the past. I've moved on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What's wrong baby?" Chase asks as I step in the car.
"Nothing, I'm just tired from work." I lie. I am tired, but not from work. I'm tired from my reoccurring thoughts of Austin. I'm tired of the fact that my mind keeps drifting back to him.
"Okay, well we can just go home and watch Netflix for the rest of the night" Chase says leaning over and giving me a kiss on the cheek while still trying to keep his eyes on the road.
"Did you have a long day too?" I ask rubbing his shoulder.
"Yeah, I think I'm going to quit this job" He tilts his head, giving me more room to massage his shoulder. His job involves him to do a lot of heavy lifting and he's always sore and tired afterwards.
"Don't do it until you for sure have another job though, you need the money" I say to him.
"I know, I know" He smiles a little at my instructions. I smile as well feeling happy to have someone who cares about me. Even though he's tired he still came all this way to pick me up. I should focus on him and I. Not other things. Like Austin. I shake my head pushing the thoughts of him away. I can't be bothered with them anymore.
Chase pulls in to his drive way and we both step out making our way in to the house.
"Parents home?" I ask taking my shoes off.
"Nope" He says popping the p. He walk to the kitchen pulling out a pizza box from the fridge as I grab us drinks. We both make our way downstairs plopping down on the couch. This is our routine after a long day; Netflix - and sometimes chilling-.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Do you have work tomorrow?" Rachel asks as I plop down beside her.
"Yeah" I pout resting my head on her shoulder. "Did mom say when she's coming back?"
"She should be here around nine tomorrow night." Rachel says resting her head on top of mine.
"How's your Allie?" I ask her getting comfy.
"She's good, she was asking about you today." Rachel says changing the channel.
"I haven't got to see her for so long it feels"
"Your parents told me to invite her for dinner sometime" Rachel says smiling. She's really happy that we all get along with her girlfriend.
"You should" I agree with my parents. We both fall silent and watch random things on T.V. My phone buzzes in my hand and I pull it out to see a text from Cameron.
Cameron: I heard you bitched out at Austin lmao
Wow, were those Cam's words or Austin's? Either way they stung a little.
Caitlyn: I did not bitch him out, I simply told him off.
Cameron: His words not mine
Caitlyn: Of course...
Cameron: Oh come on C, you know you want to talk to him
Caitlyn: No, I want to yell at him
Cameron: Go ahead, but just go do it in person
A little smile creeps up on my face. Even if Cam and I are fighting or talking about something serious our conversations are always amusing.
Caitlyn: Whyyyyyyyy
Cameron: Because I know you, you're going to regret not meeting up with him later on.
Caitlyn: Well if I regret it later then I'll just go meet him?
Cameron: I'm pretty sure you won't be able to go to Toronto just to meet him lmao
Caitlyn: Wait what? He's going to be leaving again?
The fact that he's only going to be here a while makes me want to actually go and meet him.
Cameron: Maybe, his dad said if he wants to stay with me he can
Caitlyn: What about the boss?
Cameron: He's dead, have a new boss now who doesn't give two fucks about Austin.
Caitlyn: WAIT WHAT??
How can Cameron just say this like it's nothing? Their boss died.
Cameron: Yeah he got shot, that's why Austin could come to visit
Caitlyn: Why are you acting like this is no big deal? The man was SHOT!
Cameron: Relax, he was a dick anyway
Caitlyn: Why isn't this all over the news?? What the hell?
Cameron: Staged as suicide
What the hell. The fact that something like this happened in my quite little town scares me incredibly. You think you're safe but there are so many things happening that we're completely unaware of. If something like this happens in my town I can't imagine what happens around the world. There are probably millions of people who are dragged into situations like this but worse. I wish I had the ability to help each one of those people and bring them to safety. Bring them somewhere where they can start their own life.
I am definitely going into social work. It was Rachel's suggestion. I never thought much of it before but hearing about some of the things that are going on around the world and even this is making me really excited for it.
Caitlyn: That's crazy...
Cameron: Not important, what's important is that you should talk to Austin and put everything behind you, who knows you guys might even rekindle your love ;)
Caitlyn: CAM FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME I'M WITH CHASE
He doesn't like him because Chase doesn't like me hanging around with Cam since he's 'A bad influence.' I do not agree with him obviously and I still do hang out with Cam. Chase just doesn't like it.
Cameron: I don't care, he's dumb
Caitlyn: Hey! Watch it!
Cameron: I'm not scared of you Smiths, come at me
Caitlyn: I can beat you up any day
I send the text letting out a chuckle.
"What's so funny?" Rachel asks.
"I'm talking to Cam, he's being an idiot" I laugh.
"I like him, he's a good kid" Rachel nods her head in approval. I bite my tongue to keep from laughing. She's literally talking about the guy who just told me their boss got shot.
Cameron: Okay there, whatever you say...
Cameron: I have some news for you though :)
Caitlyn: What is it?
Cameron: I'm finally getting out of the gang :)
Caitlyn: OH. MY. GOODNESS. Cam I'm so happy ankasdjfoae
Cameron: I knew you would be
I've been trying for ages to get him out of all this and I'm so happy he's finally decided to stop.
Caitlyn: What changed your mind??
Cameron: You and Austin, and when I got the news that boss died it just made me feel like it was the right time I guess
The fact that I was a part of the reason he decided to leave makes me so happy. I helped him change his life. I finally won't have to worry about him being dead or something every time he doesn't pick up his phone.
Caitlyn: I'm so happy for you, seriously :)
Cameron: Thank you :) I got a job at future shop for the time being
Caitlyn: What about after?
Cameron: I've got money that I saved up all these years for emergency (in case I had to flea or something lol) which I'm going to use for school
Caitlyn: What are you planning to do?
Cameron: I'm going to get an automotive technician certificate. It's like a one year course but I can see myself working in a garage lol
Caitlyn: I'm so proud of you :)
Cameron: Thanks mom
He thinks I act like a mom sometimes. I completely disagree.
Caitlyn: Shut up let me be excited for you
Cameron: You do that Chipmunk, I'm going to head to bed, night
Caitlyn: Night.
I hear a soft snore coming from Rachel making me smile a little. I gently shake her as her eyes flutter open.
"Oh did I fall asleep?" She asks stretching.
"Yeah" I nod standing up and stretching myself.
"Alright well I'm going to go do that in my bed" She stand up. "Goodnight, don't stay up too late" She says shuffling her way downstairs. I grab a glass of water and make my way to my own room. I think I'm going to meet up with Austin tomorrow. I don't know whether I'm making this choice because Cam's decision has put me in a good mood or the late night. Or that he'll leave again. No, that can't be it because I'm over him, completely. Plus I'm with Chase and I'm really happy.
Caitlyn: You awake?
I send the text to Chase, I'm going to let him know before I make plans with Austin. Chase can't - nor would - stop me from seeing him or anything, I just don't want him to think I'm sneaking around or anything.
Chase: Yeah, what's up?
Caitlyn: Austin's back in town to visit and I was planning to go meet up with him sometime soon
Chase: Oh, I thought I saw him. But I don't think that's a good idea...
Caitlyn: I'm just meeting up to say hi, see how Toronto was
Chase: Fine, but be careful, If he tries to pull anything with you I swear
Caitlyn: You trust me don't you?
Chase: Of course baby, I just don't trust him
Caitlyn: I don't even know if I'm going to, I just wanted to let you know
When we started dating his first question was to be honest about Austin and I. He thought we used to date. Especially because he saw him basically drag me away that one time. I assured him that it was only a 'fling' type thing -barely- but he's convinced that Austin saw more than that. Which is not true. I mean we were basically forced to be around each other and that's why we had feelings. Keep telling yourself that. Stop. Stop thinking this way Caitlyn.
If Chase knew what Austin and I were involved in, he would never let me see him again but I've kept that part of my life locked away. The only person besides Austin, Cam and I who knows this is April.
Chase: Alright :)
Chase: What time are you going to be with April till tomorrow?
Caitlyn: I'm not sure yet, I might spend the night, how come?
Chase: David wants us all to chill
Caitlyn: Sounds good to me, I'll call you tomorrow when I'm with her
Chase: Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow baby, love you
Caitlyn: Goodnight baby
I love the fact that he doesn't hold back on his feelings even if I don't feel the same. I've heard people say that it just get's awkward if the other person doesn't say I love you back but it's not true. If you feel strongly for them, then it shouldn't affect your relationship. I know I will say it to him eventually, I just don't know what it is and it kind of scares me.
I switch over to Austin and I's conversation.
Caitlyn: Hey
I hold my finger over the send button. Should I do it? I do want to see how he's been and all but there's a part of me, telling me to stay away. I don't know why.
I erase the message and put my phone away. Maybe some other time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello everybodyy,
I totally forgot about the note that Austin gave to Caitlyn lol
I have so many different ideas for this story (all leading the same way) that I somehow forgot about the note. I had this plan for it and everything.
Anyways, hope you guys like it :)
Please keep voting :)
Thank you <3