Bittersweet

Chapter 54

Caitlyn: what the fuck

Cameron: you're the one who wanted to know so badly.

Out of all the people he finds out from Austin? Why would Austin even bring that up with Cam in the first place?

Caitlyn: K well how did he find out?

Cameron: Snapchat

Caitlyn: Oh

Fuck. No matter how hard I try to keep him out he always finds his way back in my mind. It's like the thoughts of him are always sitting and waiting to force themselves back into my brain. Now I'm all curious as to how that even came up in their conversation.

Caitlyn: What did he say about that?

Cameron: Cate...

Caitlyn: I'm just curious is all..

Cameron: he just asked if that was you with Felix. That's all

Caitlyn: oh, alright

I don't know why that affects me so much. I mean it was just a simple question that he asked. But the fact that he even asked just gives me hope that he hasn't completely blocked me out. Or maybe doesn't hate me. It's such a petty thing to think about but that's just what he does. He always does this to me. It's still all your fault.

Cameron: I knew you would over think this, that's why I didn't want to say anything

Caitlyn: nah, I'm fine

Cameron: I don't believe that's very true

Caitlyn: I'm fine

Cameron: for sure?

Caitlyn: yeah :)

It just hurts, that's all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So is it official then?" I ask April.

"Well not really I mean he hasn't really asked me to be his girlfriend yet just a date..." she trails off biting her lip.

"I'm sure he will soon, he clearly really likes you" I point out.

"I really like him too" she says with a goofy smile on her face. I remember when I used to always have that goofy smile on my face while with Austin.

"What's wrong?" April asks noticing my change of mood.

"Nothing" I smile snapping out of my thoughts.

"Are you still think about the whole Snapchat thing?" She asks.

"Yeah..." I trail off feeling stupid. "I don't know why, I mean its already been a couple days but I can't stop thinking about it."

"What do you feel when you think about him though? Like if thinking about it makes you feel relived or something then that could be the reason the you can't stop wandering back to it." April suggests.

"I mean, sometimes I think that maybe because of this, he doesn't hate me. Which by the way, I know is completely stupid since, it was just a simple question." I say running my hand through my hair. "But for some reason even the slight situation that revolves around him gets stuck inside me. It's like I'm hanging on to the thoughts of him since he's not actually around anymore."

"That's not healthy Cate" April says putting her hand on mine. "You have to talk about this stuff often. you have to get these things off your chest or else they're just going to stay there. Plus I wanna know so I can try to help you." April says with sadness in her eyes.