Inspired by the this song. Probably listen to it first just to understand where I'm coming from with this one. It's not exactly like it. Just inspired.
Marks POV
On the floor. In my dark bedroom. Leant agains the side of my bed. Tears streaming down my face like a rushing river. The room was hazy and blurred through the pools of tears being produced. Grasping my hair at the root, I let the tears fall from my eyes and onto my knees. I gave up an hour ago with holding back the tears, so by 5am I was a wreck. As much as I tried to hold back the pain, it gripped on, tightening my throat, creating bloodshot eyes and making me weak.
The salty streams that ran down my cheeks had become a part of me and the bottles that lead around my body seamed normal. When people talk about lousing someone you never expect this to be the feeling you receive. A combination of depression and pain. But the gift that comes with both of these things are the tears. It's something you can only hold back for so long. That's until it all comes out eventually.
As I gripped the last bottle of whatever the hell it was, I knocked it back, feeling it burn as the magical liquid trickled down my throat. When I looked up everything seemed black and white. Not a colour in sight. The green and brown bottles turned a miserable grey and the colourful bedding that dressed my bed seemed bleak and tired. The colour in the world had been drained before my eyes.
I should have kept her safe. I should have stayed close. She should never have gone out that late in the dark. How could I have been so stupid. She was like a pressures ornament. One that stood on your grandmothers shelf and she told you never to touch, being the delicate glass it was. But she didn't see herself like that. She lived her life, lived for the adventure. In the end curiosity took her.
I looked over at the pills strewn across the floor. I contemplated it before hand bit chucked them away before I had the chance. I took hold of the nearest one. Then another one. Then another one. Till I had 6 in my hand. That should be enough.
I looked at them stacked on top of each other in the cold palm of my hand. Thinking over my choices one last time I bought the first pill to my lips.
'Mark. Don't you fucking dear!' I dropped the pills looking round my empty room for the source of the speech.
'I'm in your head you doofus.' The calm soft voice spoke.
I looked out into the black of the room "(Y/N)?" I spoke in a raspy cracking voice.
'You need to stop this. The rate your going your going to be joining me. You will be okay. I promise you.' She spoke in her beautiful voice I missed so much.
I began sobbing harder, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't think I can do this without you (Y/N)." I sniffed, my small voice almost completely inaudible.
I heard a soft breath. 'You can do anything. I know you can. I will always be here for you. I love you Mark. Always will'. Her voice faded away to the back of my mind.
"I love you (Y/N)." I whispered, sniffing back the tears.
I stood up. My hazy vision showing a slither of clarity. I climbed into bed and hugged (Y/N)'s jumper; drifting into a dream in which anything was possible and nothing was true. But it was the clearest my head had been in days.
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Interpret this one however you like. I'm not going to lie, I love this song. It's by Amber Run. I have been listening to this and 7 years by Lukas Graham on repeat for like 4 days. It's not my normal taste in music but it's good! I recommend it. -A