[rewritten]
Here is the next chapter! I hope you like the P.O.V change ;)
Enjoy!
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Niall's P.O.V
The flat was quiet, the only sound you could hear was the sound of my guitar playing. On the coffee table sat a notebook with the notes to one of our song and I read other lines, playing the right chords as I did. A smile found its way onto my face and I felt my braces rub against the bottom of my lip. I moved my guitar to the side and picked up the notebook, flipping through a few pages until I found the song that I was looking for.
With the Up All Night tour ending just a month ago, I found myself having a lot of free time. Normally I would hang out with one of the guys but they were all busy today, hanging out with their girlfriends. Well, Zayn and Liam were. Sadly, Eleanor and Louis broke up a few months ago. Louis was somewhere with Harry, a hangout that I had turned down. I had thought that Hannah would've wanted to hang out with today, but she had to help out one of her friends from school, leaving me alone in the flat.
I should get out of the house and hang out with some of my other friends, but I just didn't have the energy to. I've been hit with so much hate on Twitter, it's making me feel really lousy about myself and I just don't have the energy to do much anymore. It sucks being the victim of what they hate. The worst part is that you never get used to it. I've received so much hate since the band was formed back in two thousand and twelve. I still haven't gotten used to the numb feeling it will bring you, or the feeling of worthlessness, or even the amount of self hate it can cause.
Over the months it still hasn't gotten better, but things help. I get lost in my music which helps a lot, and I have my friends to help take my mind of off it. I'd like to say that my girlfriend helps make me feel better, but the truth is, I don't know where we stand anymore.
Hannah and I used to be great, we were perfect. In my eyes we were. Though there were times when I think she's more into the money and fame I have. It was all so new to me, I didn't know and wouldn't know if she was in it for the money or not. The lads have told me a few times that she's questionable, but I guess I choose not to see it.
There have been times were she's asked me for something expensive. I always felt like I needed to get them for her because she was my girlfriend. Liam buys Danielle stuff, sure it's not expensive but... I don't know. I always felt like I had to. She's paying for Uni and everything, I figured she didn't have any other money to get the jewelry and shit she wanted. Sure it's a pain sometimes, but I love her. There's not that many girls that ever really gave me a chance like she has.
Sometimes I'll think of breaking up with her. I know I shouldn't be in a relationship with someone like her, but what else am I supposed to do? I sighed loudly and set the notebook down, suddenly not interested in the music as I had been before. My thoughts had ruined my mood, per usual.
I know it's not healthy to think like this, but I can't help it. It feels like I'm missing out on something. I know that I have my band, and my career, and the fans that love us. But I know that I'm missing out on something. I look at Liam and Danielle and they are so happy together. Zayn and Perrie are even happier, they are perfect for each other. I want what they have. I thought that I could have that with Hannah, but she doesn't seem to want that. She's got all her school friends and her schoolwork. She's too busy a lot of the time to establish a real relationship.
We've been dating pretty much since I moved out here. We dated through the tour and after, so it's like everyone expects us to be together. She's accepted by the fans, sometimes I think she's more accepted than I am. I leaned back against the couch, just as I heard the door opening. I looked up from my lap and saw Hannah walk in.
She looked beautiful, she always has. Her brown hair was up in a pony tail and as she turned to look at me, it fell over her shoulder. I stood up from the couch to go over and greet her. As I got closer I saw how her lipstick was smudged and her eyes seemed glazed over. I didn't know whether she was high or just had sex. Neither of those options I liked, so I ignored it.
"How was school?" I asked her before leaning in and kissing her cheek.
"It was fine, boring. I got a ton of homework though, so I'm going to head in and get started." She said. I nodded, figuring that that's how the conversation would go. She'd talk about her day but not ask me how mine was. It's not like mine was that good though.
Hannah walked into the kitchen, dumping her stuff onto the table. I sighed and made sure the door was locked before following her into the kitchen. Hannah was in the process of making a cup of tea. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She gave me half smile before moving from my hold. She took the cup of tea and started to walk out of the kitchen.
"Going to do my homework, I'll see you later tonight." She said. I sighed when she left the room. It was like this every day. I tried to love her and be the boyfriend that I thought she wanted, but she would brush it off. She only really touched me when she wanted something, something expensive usually. I really did want to get out of this relationship, I just didn't know how to.
I shook my head, just as a buzzing noise cut through the silent air. I looked up from the floor and saw that Hannah's phone was sitting on the table. Curiosity got the best of me and I walked over to see who was texting my girlfriend. I didn't think that it was that much a big deal, being that she pretty much looked through my phone regularly. I didn't necessarily like it but I felt like it was something that normal couples do. Liam says it's not, he says that there has to be trust in a relationship.
I didn't know exactly what to expect when I looked at her phone, but a message from someone called 'Jack' was not it. As far as I knew, she doesn't have a friend named Jack. Thankfully I could see half the message that was displayed across the phone.
Jack: hey baby, thanks for our dat-
That was where message cut off but it's not rocket science to know what he was talking about. She was cheating on me, it was obvious. I let out a sigh and sat down in the chair. I wanted out in this relationship, but I wasn't expecting this to be the way we ended things. I can't believe that she's cheating on me. How could I have not known? You'd think with all the paparazzi that follow her around sometimes...
I stood from the table and put her phone back where I had found it. I knew I would have to breakup with her, might as well do it know. I left the kitchen and started down the hallway. I pushed open our bedroom door, looking around the room. Hannah was sitting on the bed, books scattered around her. I shook my head at the sight of her and started to walk over towards the closet. I grabbed my bag and tossed it towards the bed, then starting to pull out my clothes.
"Niall? What are you doing?" Hannah asked.
"How long have you been seeing Jack behind my back?" I asked, turning around to look at her. Her mouth dropped open before she shook her head and sat up.
"What are you talking about?" She asked.
"Hannah, just tell me the truth." I said, putting my clothes into the bag.
"... I'm sorry. We just weren't there in the relationship, like I had always wanted it to be. Jack was there when I needed him." She said.
"How long?" I asked.
She sighed, closing her text book. "About April." She finally answered.
"Four months? Why didn't you just tell me that you weren't happy? Why did you waste four months of my life?" I asked.
"I do-"
"You were just in it for the stuff, weren't you?" I cut her off. "For the fame that came with being my girlfriend? Or the things I would buy you? I should've seen this coming." I said, the last part to myself. I zipped up the bag and grabbed a few more things before getting ready to leave.
"Wait, are we... do you want to breakup?" Hannah asked.
I shook my head and left the room. She's got to be insane if she thinks that I'm going to stay with her after this. As I was leaving the flat with my keys in hand, I grabbed my phone and called up Zayn. We weren't on the phone for that long, I had just told him of what happened and asked if I could stay with him for a little while. He agreed, like I knew he would. What else were brothers for?
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Okay, there's the chapter. I hope you liked it. I feel so bad for Niall :(
Please VOTE and COMMENT my lil' Gummy Worms!!
~ Amanda xx
—Gif on the side is of Niall in 2012, which is obviously what he looks like in this book and he's just so cute