Word count~ 1,834
Alex's POV
I left Jack's about 2 hours after I got there. When I got home, I went straight up to my room and thought about everything that had happened.
Flashback
Jack pulled away because he needed to catch his breath. He cleared his throat as if he was going to say something, but I didn't want to talk. I wanted to kiss him again so that is exactly what I did. We ended up having an intense make out session, but it ended up being interrupted.
"Jack, I've been yelling for you for like 10 minutes now, what the hell- oh my. I-I'm sorry, I'll come back later" Jack's sister May said as she quickly pushed herself out the door. I have never jumped so far backwards than when I heard that door open.
I'm sitting at the end of Jack's bed, things extremely uncomfortable. I don't know what happened but all of my confidence just flew out the window. After about 3 minutes of very awkward silence, Jack speaks up.
"So, d-do you wanna play video games?" he asked quietly, I just nod my head, extremely embarrassed from what had happened. We played for about and hour and half when I decided that I should get home. I tell Jack bye, but he stopped me from walking out of his room.
"Lex, wait." He said while grabbing on to my arm.
"Yeah?" He scratched his neck awkwardly while looking at the ground.
"Can we keep what happened between you and me, please?" I felt something inside of me deflate, but it's not my place to say anything so I just nod.
"Yeah- yeah that's fine, I get it. But I-I've got to go, I'll see you tomorrow." I said quickly but before I could walk out, Jack grabs me by my hips and places one last kiss to my lips.
"Bye Lex,"
Flashback over
I keep playing the kiss over and over in my mind. I'm really happy we finally kissed, but I don't know if I should be. I know Jack doesn't want to come out to the school, and I respect that, I do. It's just, what if we end up becoming something more than friends? I don't want to have to keep our relationship in the closet. I'm over thinking all of this. I'll just have to talk to Jack at school on Monday.
Jack's POV
I know I shouldn't be avoiding Alex after what happened Friday. I mean, after all, I did kiss him first. I've ignored all of his texts this weekend and I have somehow managed to avoid him this morning. But we have our next class together so I cant avoid him for much longer.
When I got to second period I saw Alex in the far back corner with his head down. When the bell rang he sat up. He looked terrible. His hair is all disheveled, he has a black eye, a busted lip, and bags under his eyes. He looks so pale. I hope he's alright.
All throughout class his friends tried talking to him but he wouldn't really respond, he'd shrug his shoulders or hum something. This isn't typical for Alex, especially for the way he acted Friday. He was confident, now he won't look anyone in the eye. I'll have to catch up with him before his next class if I want to find out what happened.
The bell finally rings and I tell Chase I'll meet up with him next class, that I have to talk to the teacher. Alex was the last one out of the classroom. Before he could tell me no, I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the guys restroom, and locked the door. When I turned back around I saw Alex on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest repeating,
"Please not again, not already, please." with tears falling down his face. I didn't know what to do at first but I sunk down to the floor and pulled Alex into my chest whispering to him.
"It's okay Lex, it's me, it's Jack. Calm down" over and over again while drawing shapes on his back. He eventually calmed down when he realized it was me and I wasn't going to hurt him.
I decided I needed to go ahead and ask him what happened before he runs out again.
"H-hey, Lex?" I ask quietly.
"Yeah?" he responded, lacking any emotion in his voice.
"What happened? I mean to you, not your panic attack, you don't have to tell me about that, but I want to know why you're all beaten up?" I ask him cautiously. He looks hesitant before he sighs.
"It was just Chase and his friends. I'm used to it." he said as if it were an everyday thing. I can't believe that Chase did that.
"I'm sorry lex, you shouldn't have to go through this." He mumbled something underneath his breath that I didn't quiet get.
"What was that ?" I ask. He shakes his head
"Nothing, I've got to go Jack" He said quickly as he tried to stand up from the ground.
"Wait, don't go yet, please?" I begged. He looked down at the ground and sighed.
"What do you want Jack? I have to get to class" He said with frustration clear in his voice.
"I wanted to apologize, I shouldn't have avoided you this weekend. I'm sorry" I apologize. He starts scratching his arm while he thinks.
"Jack, I get it, you don't want to come out. I'm not going to force you, it's not like you actually like me. So why does it matter?" That stung. I do like him, I just can't tell him that because he could want something more and I can't give that to him, at least not right now.
"It does matter Lex," I say as he pulls his hand away from his arm, and it looks like there is blood underneath his nails and on his fingers. I reach out and grab his hand.
"Alex, you're bleeding." He snaps out of his gaze and looks down at his hand.
He snatches his hand out of my hold and started holding his arm. What the hell?
"Alex, let me see your arm." I say sternly. He starts shaking his head
"No Jack, I-I have to go." He said as he attempted to surpass me and get to the door but I don't think he realized I locked it. He goes and tries to unlock it but I stop him. I grab him and pull him back from the door causing him to start yelling at me.
"Let go of me Jack, don't do this. Please, please just let me go! I promise I won't say anything just please don't do it." He exclaimed in between sobs.. What is he talking about?
"Alex. Alex! Calm down, I'm not going to do anything to you, I promise, just calm down." In his attempt to get away from me his sleeve rolled up and I couldn't believe what I saw. At least 20 deep gashes on his wrist and forearm. I decide against saying anything because he's already so upset. I let go of him.
"Okay Alex, you uh, you can leave." he looks at me before he leaves, his eyes holding so much emotion, but his face set still with an angry glare.
Alex's POV
Today has been absolutely terrible. Chase beat me up so much to where I couldn't get off of the ground, and when he was walking away it sounded like he said that he was sorry, which is a bunch of bullshit. Jack almost saw my arm, and Ronnie used me for one of his early morning releases. I hate it. I can't trust myself to go home right now. I decide to call Tay.
"Hello?"
"Hey Tay, It's Alex."
"Hey, are you okay? You sound upset?" I sigh.
"Uh, no. Not really. Tay, I don't trust myself being a-alone right now, can we hang out?" I practically beg.
"Yeah, yeah of course. You don't have to ask, just come on in. I'll be in my room"
"Thank you so much, I'll see you soon."
"Anytime Alex, you know that. Okay, see you soon."
On my way over to her house I keep telling myself that I can't tell her what happened. I'll never be able to tell her, or Jack about it. She will never think of me the same. He said he would kill me. My thought's are running so fast that it's giving me a headache. It's days like this I wish I could just disappear.
Tay's POV
I heard the front door open, and foot steps coming up the stairs. About 20 seconds later Alex walks in my room. When he looks over at me, my jaw drops. His face is bruised to hell and back. He has a busted lip and blood soaked on his sleeve. I jump off my bed and run over to him.
"Oh my god Alex! What the fuck happened to you?" He looks down at the ground like he's about to cry.
"I-I can't tell y-you," He whispers. I hold back a sigh but nod my head.
"Okay, It's okay. You don't have to. Go get some of your clothes out of your drawer, and we can drink, and watch movies, okay?" He gave me a small smile and nodded before walking away.
This happened a lot last year, everything that happened between Chase, and Ronnie, Alex would stay at my house often because he wouldn't want to be alone, not wanting to trust that he could go through the night without attempting to kill himself.
That's why he has his own drawer. I know what happens when he gets drunk enough, he spills everything on his mind. I know it seems like I'm being a bad friend, but if what happened last year, is happening again, he has to tell someone otherwise it will end up killing him.
Alex comes back in wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt. He comes and sits on the edge of my bed, looking down at his lap.
"I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble Tay, I didn't mean to." I sigh and went to hug Alex but he flinched away. I gave him a sympathetic smile, and said
"Why don't we just get drunk, order a pizza, and binge watch movies, does that sound good?" he just nods his head with a small smile.
"I'll order the pizza, go on and get out my stash." he nods and goes over to the top of my closet, and pulls down a small wooden trunk full of different types of alcohol. He opens it and pulls out a bottle of vodka and chugs part of it and then passes it to me. It won't take long for him to get drunk and spill what's on his mind.