Once again, this is gonna be a sad!shot. I'm sorry but I like writing these, they're so emotional! I know, I know, people will probably say "Raven you should stop, because people will question if there's anything wrong in your life" there honestly is nothing wrong, I just like gory and sad stuff, okay? That's all there is to it, end of story.
Edit: oh my goodness guys! Thank you so much for 600+ views and 51+ likes! That is amazing! I knew we could do it! Thank you again and I'll see you at the end!
Additional keys:
(R/n) = relative name
Felix ran the cold knife down his left arm as his hands trembled. He sat in the bathroom and self harmed himself, this has become a daily routine for him. Blood dripped onto the white tile floor as Felix dragged the knife deeper into his pale skin. He felt sick doing this, yet it felt so good. He got such a rush from it. Each time (Y/N) asked why he was in there for so long, he just said he got distracted playing on his phone and surfing Twitter, the ol'excuse in the book.
Felix's POV
I sighed as I cleaned up my bloody mess and covered the evidence with my hoodie sleeves. I couldn't stop this. Old scars from months ago decorated my skin from the past depression fits. I would cry for a week, do damage to my skin, stop eating for a few days, repeat a week later. I look in the mirror. 'God, I look awful' I shuddered at my pasty, ghostlike appearance staring back at me with large bags under my eyes and bewildered and my own dull blue eyes. I looked deathly pale, and I felt just as sick on the inside, I felt like crap. This habit is sickening. I swallow down a couple pills and drag myself to bed, not realizing my cellphone was buzzing in my side table drawer with a call from someone. "Felix? This is (Y/N), are you there? You haven't been talking to me and your friends for a while. Bye!" (Y/N)'s faint voice echoed through my brain as my mind was swallowed in darkness.
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Time skip to early in the morning*
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I woke up feeling queasy and ran to the bathroom and threw up last night's dinner into it. I grabbed a blanket and threw it over my shoulders that were shaking as I dragged myself downstairs, my bare feet cold against the polished floorboards. I nearly scare myself when my feet touch the carpet of the living room. 'When did I become so jumpy?' I thought to myself as I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Bringing out the carton of orange juice, I grabbed a glass and poured myself the cold beverage. I wobbled my way over to the living room and turned the tv on. Once again, depressing stuff came on the news, a pregnant dog was run over, there were 20 kids who have gone missing and 16 that committed suicide. All depressing subjects jammed into one morning talk in the broadcast station, I shut the tv off and go upstairs to play some games. I hear a beeping coming from my phone in my side table drawer. I grab my phone and unlock it and see (Y/N) spammed me with 103 messages and 25 missed calls. I scrolled through the messages, most of them were "answer me Felix!" or "I'm worried about you!". One of them caught my eyes.
"I'm coming over whether you like it or not!" Which was sent 10 minutes ago, (Y/N) lives exactly 20 minutes away.
"Crap ,crap, crap", I said panicking and nearly dropping my phone as I ran to clean up my house, she will get ticked off at me, especially with my bathroom that is stacked with pills and razors. (Y/N) doesn't know about my depressive behaviour and I want to keep it that way, but I suddenly had a real drop. I hate even going outside and playing street hockey with the kids in the neighbourhood, (Y/N) would always laugh and call me such a kid, because apparently grown men can't play street hockey. I finish cleaning and pass out on the couch from the after effects of the pills I took, extreme drowsiness. A few minutes of just resting my eyes shouldn't hurt and as soon as my head hits the pillow, everything goes dark.
Your POV*
I'm gonna use the extra key Felix gave me incase of an emergency, he hasn't been answering me so I stormed over to his place, mostly out of hidden concern. I lost (r/n) and Felix was ,in a way, my brother. Even though we hated each other as children and still do, he and I do have a few things in common, which makes us at least not want to rip each other's throats out. I'm tidy and he's not (can't really blame him, he does YouTube for a living), he is quite noisy and used to spam me with messages, heck I wonder why I even gave it to him ,but lately he's been silent, which worries me still. My hand gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. I pull up to Felix's house, all the lights are off. I jam the key in and the door swings open, clean, how strange but I'm not complaining. I scanned the living room and the kitchen, they came up clean, no blonde hair visible. I go upstairs quietly and open his door. "Felix?" I peek my head in and I breathe out a sigh of relief when I hear a soft snore coming from him. He had me worried, he's just taking a nap. I see he left his bathroom light on and the door was open a crack. I huff. Waste of money, light in a room you're not in is a waste of electricity. I go in and feel my blood run cold. Razors and pills that are of an unknown brand to me are stacked like a mountain in the bathroom cabinet.
3rd POV*
(Y/N) lifts her small, shaky hand and gingerly wraps her fingers around the bottle of pills from the cabinet and looks at the label.
For headaches and fevers.
Side affects: nausea, drowsiness, distortion, impaired vision, and possible death.
The last part nearly made (Y/N) faint. Felix will have to do some talking about this, because this is so unlike Felix. (Y/N) walks back into Felix's dark room and shakes his shoulder. "Huh? Wha? (Y/N)?" Felix groaned and rolled over. "What is this?" (Y/N) says sternly and shoved the bottle of pills in Felix's face. It took Felix a moment to realize what was in his face. He sat up quickly with wide eyes. "Well?" (Y/N) stomped her foot. "Th-these are pills (Y/N)... Where did you get them? I'm not sick..." Felix begins to pale in the face. "I know you're not sick, but these can make you ill, and that's why I wondered why you have such a large stash in your bathroom cabinet if you have no need for them. Plus with the new razor blades! What have you've been doing, Felix while I'm not around?" (Y/N) walks right up into Felix's face, cornering him. Felix gulps. "Er... I was...well... WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?!" Felix's outburst surprised (Y/N) and took her back a bit. "Why should I care? Well why are you doing this? Can't you see I'm afraid for what will happen if you overdose on unnecessary medication?!" (Y/N) regains her stance and glares at Felix. "I... Don't know.... My life has been going down, I know it's bad for me but it's a habit..." Felix sighed and gave in to defeat. (Y/N) let her shoulders drop. She looked up at him blankly before turning and leaving Felix's room and shutting the door, leaving Felix in almost complete darkness except for the line of light coming from his bathroom. He rubbed his temples and felt for his bed and flopped down on it, the springs creaking under the weight of him was just like the sound he made under depression. Little did (Y/N), Felix had a horrible childhood of crying himself to sleep and looking at the stars out his window because he was abused and locked up in his room when he was around 7 years old, and with only a dim lightbulb and an old mattress on the floor. It's all coming back to him now, stronger than ever, like a curse that has been cast on him and was uncovered only months ago. He still has those memories, like the scars from the chains his abusive father put on his wrists, the memories would never leave.
Felix's POV*
Nightmare sequence:
I woke up to hearing the sound of glass shattering and my mother's scream had abruptly stopped cold. I lay curled up in the corner of my room, hiding under my bed, shaking. My abusive father always got drunk and beat my mother up. My child-like and very foreign, little heavy breaths came from my little mouth ,as fear coursed through my veins and the tension making a lump in my throat form. My breath hitched as I hear my door open. I am under the bed looking out the front of the bed, where the door is and my father's big feet, a single move of my head and my nose would hit his big toe.
"Kom ut son, kommer jag inte skada dig ..." (Come out son, I will not hurt you...) my father drunkly slurred and I flinched when he dropped the metal bat, it was covered in a dark substance and I started shrinking back until my feet hit the wall. "Var en snäll pojke och sluta gömma sig Felix ..." (Be a good boy and stop hiding Felix...) my father started to talk again and began looking around. His hand reached under the bed suddenly and grabbed my foot, I gasped and tried to pry his big hands off my little ankle but I couldn't. He dragged me out and all the way down the hall. In the kitchen I saw my mother's lifeless eyes as blood ran from her neck. My father jerked my leg and snapped my ankle, and that got a whimper out of me and he threw me into a white room I didn't know of at the darkest part of our mansion, with the dim lightbulb and single mattress on the floor.
"Du kommer aldrig att lämna, Felix, kommer det att bli bättre om du dödar gräva själv. Du betyder ingenting för mig. Du är värdelös!!" (You will never leave, Felix, it will be better if you kill yourself. You mean nothing to me. You are worthless!)" And with that, my father slammed the door. I was in shock. My mother was dead, I really was worthless, I couldn't have protected her and I failed. My father abused me and beat me up for weeks and months when he felt violent and angry. Sometimes he beat me up so badly, that I lost consciousness for a few hours or days.
End of nightmare sequence.
That my friends, was part one of "Suicide is My Secret". What you you think of it? Drop a like and a comment for if you want part two! Also if you haven't hit that follow button and join Team Raven today for daily story parts! Can we get up to 9 likes on this one guys? That'd be totally radical!
Take to the skies and fly freely!
- Raven