Pewdiepie X reader one shot fluffs

Sucide is My Secret

Once again, this is gonna be a sad!shot. I'm sorry but I like writing these, they're so emotional! I know, I know, people will probably say "Raven you should stop, because people will question if there's anything wrong in your life" there honestly is nothing wrong, I just like gory and sad stuff, okay? That's all there is to it, end of story.

Edit: oh my goodness guys! Thank you so much for 600+ views and 51+ likes! That is amazing! I knew we could do it! Thank you again and I'll see you at the end!

Additional keys:
(R/n) = relative name

Felix ran the cold knife down his left arm as his hands trembled. He sat in the bathroom and self harmed himself, this has become a daily routine for him. Blood dripped onto the white tile floor as Felix dragged the knife deeper into his pale skin. He felt sick doing this, yet it felt so good. He got such a rush from it. Each time (Y/N) asked why he was in there for so long, he just said he got distracted playing on his phone and surfing Twitter, the ol'excuse in the book.

Felix's POV

I sighed as I cleaned up my bloody mess and covered the evidence with my hoodie sleeves. I couldn't stop this. Old scars from months ago decorated my skin from the past depression fits. I would cry for a week, do damage to my skin, stop eating for a few days, repeat a week later. I look in the mirror. 'God, I look awful' I shuddered at my pasty, ghostlike appearance staring back at me with large bags under my eyes and bewildered and my own dull blue eyes. I looked deathly pale, and I felt just as sick on the inside, I felt like crap. This habit is sickening. I swallow down a couple pills and drag myself to bed, not realizing my cellphone was buzzing in my side table drawer with a call from someone. "Felix? This is (Y/N), are you there? You haven't been talking to me and your friends for a while. Bye!" (Y/N)'s faint voice echoed through my brain as my mind was swallowed in darkness.
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Time skip to early in the morning*
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I woke up feeling queasy and ran to the bathroom and threw up last night's dinner into it. I grabbed a blanket and threw it over my shoulders that were shaking as I dragged myself downstairs, my bare feet cold against the polished floorboards. I nearly scare myself when my feet touch the carpet of the living room. 'When did I become so jumpy?' I thought to myself as I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Bringing out the carton of orange juice, I grabbed a glass and poured myself the cold beverage. I wobbled my way over to the living room and turned the tv on. Once again, depressing stuff came on the news, a pregnant dog was run over, there were 20 kids who have gone missing and 16 that committed suicide. All depressing subjects jammed into one morning talk in the broadcast station, I shut the tv off and go upstairs to play some games. I hear a beeping coming from my phone in my side table drawer. I grab my phone and unlock it and see (Y/N) spammed me with 103 messages and 25 missed calls. I scrolled through the messages, most of them were "answer me Felix!" or "I'm worried about you!". One of them caught my eyes.

"I'm coming over whether you like it or not!" Which was sent 10 minutes ago, (Y/N) lives exactly 20 minutes away.

"Crap ,crap, crap", I said panicking and nearly dropping my phone as I ran to clean up my house, she will get ticked off at me, especially with my bathroom that is stacked with pills and razors. (Y/N) doesn't know about my depressive behaviour and I want to keep it that way, but I suddenly had a real drop. I hate even going outside and playing street hockey with the kids in the neighbourhood, (Y/N) would always laugh and call me such a kid, because apparently grown men can't play street hockey. I finish cleaning and pass out on the couch from the after effects of the pills I took, extreme drowsiness. A few minutes of just resting my eyes shouldn't hurt and as soon as my head hits the pillow, everything goes dark.