Hey,
This is the third chapter you've been waiting for :)
I hope you like it :)
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3
Bella:
The room felt cold, as though someone had suddenly turned off the damp heat that accompanied forks summer.
I felt as though I were drowning, black water pressed down on me and I fought to breathe. I opened my eyes gasping for breath and clutching the granite arms cradling me as if I were as fragile as rare china.
I froze as my fingers made contact with his ice-cold skin.
"A dream..."
I muttered, refusing to look at the hallucination that wouldn't leave me.
I looked at my shaking hands as my insane 'dream come-to-life' stroked my hair and held me in an embrace that I hoped would last forever.
I felt something tickle my ear and I finally tore my eyes away from the safety net that was ignorance.
His delicious scent engulfed me and I was stunned at the clarity of my dreaming.
My memory could never conjure up his scent to this kind of perfection; it was a foggy haze that usually accompanied the hallucinations, a shadow of the heaven I was inhaling now.
Despite myself, I leaned in closer.
My reward for insanity stopped stroking my hair and froze like a marble statue. I looked up concerned, and saw his face for the first time.
His eyes were dark, the flat black that I had never conjured up in my dreams; his eyes were meant to be topaz; the beautiful colour I had gotten used to seeing in my hallucinations.
His skin was whiter than I remembered, it gleamed in the faint sunlight that filtered through the blinds, glittering like a million diamonds and creating patterns of light on the domed ceiling; he did not smile the crooked smile of my happy memories, his face was blank; any actor would give their soul for such control of expression; he looked at me with cold intensity and I held his gaze, the flat black eyes did not blink and I felt as though he were trying to tell me something.
I didn't think as I leaned even closer towards the black holes, lost in their emptiness.
I felt him shudder as I touched his granite lips with mine and my reality crashed and burned in the fire of my passion.
He kissed me back, with such longing and pain it was as though flames licked the walls of the small room.
My hands were in his hair and his were on my face, tracing my cheekbones and rubbing away the tears that fell and shimmered like crystals as the weak light bounced off them.
"My Bella... My beautiful Bella..."
I felt the hole in my chest rip open completely at that moment; Jacob's loose ties of adoration and safety fell from me, and Edwards long awaited words of love sealed the wound tight as though it had never been, the piece of my heart back in its rightful place; locked in my arms.
I pulled back from the kiss to catch my breath. I had stopped breathing again. He did not chuckle as he usually would when this happened. My vision simply looked at me intently before carefully taking my face between his long pale hands and staring into my eyes.
"I love you."
It was then the reality of it all crashed down on me
He. Did. Not. Love. Me.
My dreams could never truly bring him back.
I was alone.
I stood up and without looking at him.
I ran.
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Edward:
I heard the door slam behind her and felt the cold rejection seep through my veins.
I had come back and she didn't love me.
My face felt frozen and I stopped breathing altogether. I didn't want to taste or smell her world anymore.
More than anything I wanted to die.
But she, my only reason for living, if that is what I am doing, needed protection.
She was as danger-prone as a...
I couldn't think of anyone who was such a trouble-magnet as her. If their was danger she would surely walk across it.
-Or better yet stumble.
I allowed myself a small smile at her endearing clumsiness before I flew from the window and into the cover of the foreboding trees.
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Bella:
I ran until I could no longer see for the constant stream of tears that ran down my face.
I fell against a tree and watched as my breathing came out in foggy clouds in the damp air.
I felt the exhaustion of my sleepless night and slumped to the ground, that was still wet with morning rain.
I couldn't go back to Jacob.
Our small cabin had once been a safe haven, now it was nothing to me.
I couldn't live like that anymore.
I wouldn't.
I contemplated finding a vampire and forcing them to change me.
The idea was not only ridiculous but also dangerous, I doubted my small salary would get me anywhere near the Denali clan and even if I did make the trip without getting murdered by Victoria, I doubted they would extend such a courtesy to the pathetic human the Cullen's had ditched.
I fought back the tears that were coming still.
They had been held back for years and yet my resolve was crumbling, exhausted I let them fall; my face numb from the dropping temperature, I barely felt them slide down my cheeks as they splashed onto the soil.
"Pathetic..."
I whispered.
My hands balling into fists at the word.
I, who had smirked at the silly girls who couldn't survive without their boyfriend's, who had prided herself on her self control, who had never imagined such pain...
-was pathetic.
The word stung and I tried to think of other things but my label was weighing me down, too heavy to hold up anymore, I surrendered to the new pain of failure and curled into a ball on the forest floor.
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Edward:
She was curled up on the forest floor below me, her dark curling hair was splayed against the green moss and pine cones, her perfect skin looked as fair as an angel's against the black dirt, her full lips were red from the cold and her long eyelashes were still wet from crying; the normally light brown was black with moisture and they framed her eyes that were the deepest warm brown man had ever seen.
She had never been more beautiful.
She opened her eyes from her short doze and looked into the dark canopy of wet leaves where I was perched precariously on the edge of the highest branch.
I became a statue, afraid she would see me and run again, but I had nothing to fear, her weak human eyes saw only empty darkness.
She sighed as if she had been waiting to see more and then rose from her temporary bed of wet green leaves and moss. The movement was unusually graceful for Bella and I was suddenly hit by that development.
She had grown up.
My Bella was no longer a teenager, she was a grown woman.
I was frozen at 17.
I had been living in the past where Bella would have curfews and lived in her father's house, where Jacob was simply a rude interruption not a rival.
A rival who could offer her everything I couldnt.
I felt the pricking sensation in the corner of my eyes and blinked to make it go away, the reminder of my inability to even do such a simple human thing as cry filled me with anguish and I fought the urge to run at inhuman speed and grab MY Bella by the shoulders and kiss the life out of her, turn her into something that would damn me to the hell I deserved.
I shook away the thought and filled my mind with her face, it filled me with peace to see her like this, her face before I left. The image I held onto when I started looking at tickets to Italy...
I watched as Bella the woman, walked away from Edward the boy, Edward the lost and forgotten monster...
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