I barely slept at all last night. It didn’t feel as good as I had expected it to to be back in my own bed, and I found myself wondering what it would be like to live with Alex. And I thought about how long it would take before I could. Surely, the papers wouldn’t take that long to process.
I couldn’t remember ever wanting to get up early, but today I was eager for the sun’s light to spread across my bedroom. As soon as it did, I was out of bed.
Once I was dressed and ready, I went downstairs. The Carer was in the kitchen, and when she heard me she turned and stared in surprise.
“You’re up early” She said slowly, “You know it’s a Saturday, right?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I didn’t sleep much.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Well... alright. Do you want any breakfast?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m okay thanks.”
The Carer nodded, and turned back to her porridge. “Alex called” She said casually.
I perked up. “What? When? Why?”
She chuckled. “About an hour ago. He wanted to ask if it was okay to take you out. And I said it was. He’s coming over at eleven to collect you.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, trying to hide my eagerness. Judging by The Carer’s amused expression, it didn’t really work.
“He didn’t say” She replied, “But I think he’s bringing you to get some lunch.”
“Okay” I said, but my mind was already far away.
I did end up picking at some food, but I was eager to get away before the others came down. No doubt, they would have been told about my... attempted suicide. I winced as I thought back to it. It seemed so long ago, even though two days hadn’t passed yet. I remembered why I’d stood on the bridge, teetering on the tips of my toes. And, just for a second, I wished I’d jumped.
A knock on my door made me snap out of it. I shuddered of the thought, reminded myself of Alex, and called out; “Come in!”
Broderick walked in awkwardly. “Hey, Finley,” He said softly. “I heard about Thursday... I just came to say-” He hesitated. “I just wanted to know if you were okay, that’s all.”
“Yeah, I’m good” I replied hastily.
He bit his lip. “Just... You know you can come talk to me whenever, right? Always here, willing to listen.”
I smiled awkwardly, “Thanks, Broderick.”
He paused, then nodded. And left.
I hoped he would be the last to come and visit me. I didn’t need Tara or Jamia coming up to share their empathy.
Alex arrived on the dot at eleven o clock. I came downstairs as soon as I heard the knowck on the door, wanting to be the one to answer it.
“Hey,” I said breathlessly.
He wore American flag jeans, and a plain white t-shirt. He smiled when he saw me.
“Morning,” He said, his sleepy eyes covered by dark sunglasses. “Are you ready to go?”
I opened my mouth to respond, but The Carer cut me off as she exited the kitchen.
“Alex!” She cried, “So good to see you. Do you want to come in?”
He hesitated. “Well...”
The Carer frowned, but nodded. “Have her back by six,” She said,”Oh, and could you leave a number in case I need to call you?”
“Of course,” Alex said quickly, “Um... Here...”
And then, Alex and I were alone. He kept glancing at me, like he was afraid I would disappear. But I was doing the same.
“So I thought..” Alex said nervously, “We might go to the mall, pick up some lunch? Or we could do something else if you want?”
I shook my head. “No, that sounds like fun. But, um,” I blushed, “I don’t have any money.”
Alex laughed. “Don’t worry about that, Finley.”
“But-”
“Seriously, Fin,” He interrupted, “Forget about the money, I’ve got it covered.”
I bit my lip.
“And I’m your sort-of dad now, remember?” He added after a second, “It’s my job to take care of you. And pay for your shit.”
I laughed. “I guess,” I said slowly, “That’s...that’s going to take some getting used to.”
Apparently, Alex hadn’t had any breakfast. I could hear his stomach rumbling as he parked the car, so I suggested that we hit the food court first.
“Yeah, good idea,” He agreed, “Taco Bell?”
I laughed. “This early?”
“It’s never too early for burritos!” Alex said, pouting. “Alright, a more breakfast safe place then.”
We took the elevator upstairs to where the food places were, and we picked out a little cafe that looked pretty friendly. We chose a private booth in the corner.
“What do you want?” Alex asked, as he read down the menu.
“Em...” I paused, “I’m not that hungry, I might just have a coffee.”
He frowned. “You should eat something.”
“Alex...”
He raised an eyebrow. “I’ll get you some pancakes.”
“Alex.”
“Omelette?”
“Alex.”
“Sausages.”
“Alex.”
“Bacon?”
“Alex,” I laughed, “I’m not hungry!”
He sighed. “How about some toast?”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”
While we waited for our food, we chatted.
“So, I was doing some research, and apparently All Time Low are writing and recording their new album right now?” I said, raising an eyebrow.
Alex blushed. “Well, we are...kind of. I’m doing a little bit of writing, and we start recording stuff next week. I just told the guys to say that we were doing it a bit earlier than we actually are because of you.”
“Me?”
“All the adoption stuff,” He said casually, “You know, we haven’t actually talked about that.”
“About what?” I asked.
“Well, I mean, I’m not exactly of celebrity status, but the band is pretty popular. We haven’t talked about you. Whether we should introduce you to the fans and media as my adopted daughter, or whether you’d prefer if we just kept it quiet.” He looked at me curiously.
I frowned. “Oh...Yeah, I didn’t think about that at all.”
“Hmm...” Alex paused, “Well, it’s up to you. I promise to keep my mouth shut unless you decide otherwise.”
“Thanks,” I said slowly. That was indeed something that I needed to think about.
The server arrived with our meals in hand.
“Thanks,” Alex and I said simultaneously. We looked at each other and laughed.
“Eat up,” He told me, “I have a list of shops we need to go to.”
“Where?”
“Well, I remember your bedroom as being pretty bare. I thought we could get you some things.”
“Things?”
He shrugged. “Clothes. Furniture. Things.”
“I don’t need any of that,” I frowned.
“I want you to have it.”
I paused, letting my thoughts settle. “Thank you,” I said slowly. His deep brown eyes gazed at me. And he cracked a smile.
After we finished our meal, we made our way towards the shops. I remembered vaguely trailing around with my mother in a shopping centre when I was very little. It had felt like how I was feeling now; happy. Free. Loved.
Alex led me around the mall, seeming intend on buying so much that his credit cards would be cancelled. He brought me to expensive shops, and boutiques I’d never heard of before, and in each one he would pick out half of the stock to throw in his bag.
“Alex, I don’t need all this stuff,” I said awkwardly, “Seriously, put some of it back.”
I thought he didn’t hear me at first; he didn’t acknowledge me saying anything. Then he glanced up.
“We’re not going to buy all of it,” He said, as if it was obvious. “You’ll have to try them on first.”
Inside the fitting room, I stared at the pile of clothes that we (mostly Alex) had picked out in awe. Or possibly fear. I began to pick my way through them, trying to sort out what I liked from what I didn’t without having to try everything on. In the end there was only a couple of things that I liked. I discarded even some of them. I wanted to cost Alex as little as I could.
“You all done?”
I nodded to him as I drew back the fitting room curtain. “Yep.”
“That’s all you’re getting?” Alex asked in surprise.
“It’s more than enough,” I said in response.
He pursed his lips, but nodded.
“If you’re sure.”
It was weird being with Alex. Even though Jacob had been with me the entire time I was in foster homes (in juvie, but still there), this was the first time I’d felt like part of a family. I’d only known Alex for a little time, and it scared me how comfortable I was with him. But every time I felt unnerved by our relationship, I reminded myself that he was my only chance of a happy future. And he was the only person who cared about me anymore. Even Jacob had decided that I wasn’t worth it.
Alex dropped me back to the foster home after he was happy with the amount of things that we’d bought. He gave me the clothes to keep, but insisted that he held onto the other things we’d bought.
“I’ll take them back to Maryland with me,” He explained, “It’ll make your bedroom seem more personal when you get there.”
When I got there. It sounded strange, but fuck, I liked how it sounded.
A/N- I haven't updated in a while, but I was on my holidays :P I went to Kerry, and Wexford, and Belfast... and you don't care... Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it's not my best but I promise that there will be better ones coming. That picture on the side is by the amazing backseatgatorade, to whom this chapter is dedicated. And that is all!