Expecting too much will hurt you.
-xxx-
This is it. 6:50PM.
I walked towards the park's bench, hands inside my pocket. My eyes were wandering around to check whether there's any sign of her. She said that she'll be wearing a yellow, black, red tartan plaid and ripped-black skinny jeans. She said that she'll immediately smile at me and hug me, but all of the people that were passing by weren't wearing any plaid shirt, none of them even smiled at me nor greeted me hi.
A few minutes has passed, and still no sign of her. I checked my wrist watch and it was already 7:10PM.
Traffic, that's probably it. Maybe she's just stuck in traffic.
I leaned my back against the wooden bench and closed my eyes as I feel the warm summer breeze tickle my skin.
Breathe in, breathe out. I was starting to feel nervous and I don't know why, it's like something bad's going to happen. No, maybe I'm just nervous of meeting this internet friend of mine that I've known for almost half a year for the first time. She's one of the people who keeps me sane.
She's one of the people who I can tell all of the feelings that I have bottled up inside for quite a long time. She knows everything that I couldn't say to the person that I love. She knows most of my secrets, secrets that my tongue couldn't speak.
A few minutes passed by and my patience has already run dry. I grabbed my phone from pocket and used the mobile data connect to the internet.
19: 35
RedLipClassic : Hey.
....
No response.
...
19: 45
...
RedLipClassic : Elizabeth, where are you?
...
19: 50
...
Still no response.
...
20: 00
RedLipClassic : Elizabeth?
...
My brows knitted together as my eyes wander across the park. No one was there and she isn't responding. Did she just ditched me? What the fucking hell!?
I checked my wrist watch and it was already 8: 30PM. She made me wait for an hour and a fucking half. I don't know if I'd be concerned for something might've happened to her or I'd be so angry because she probably had just ditched me.
I stood up from the bench, with tears welling up in my eyes. I don't know how to describe what I am feeling. I'm angry, I'm anxious, I'm embarrassed, I'm disappointed. Frustrated even.
I just couldn't believe that she has made me look like a fool who's waiting for her for so long. No one dared to make me wait for that long, ever. Though I wanted to be so mad at her right now, I couldn't. Because at the back of my mind, I couldn't help but to feel a little concern. What if something happened to her while she's on her way here? I kept on thinking of the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to someone that's why she couldn't reply.
----
21: 02
Worried, once I got home I quickly went upstairs to my room and turned my laptop on to enter wattpad. And right off the bat, I saw the red dot beside my username. 3 messages in my inbox. 3 messages from Elizabeth.
21: 12
Sunshine : Sorry.
Sunshine : Taylor, Sorry.
Sunshine : I'm really sorry.
RedLipClassic : Where the hell were you!?
RedLipClassic : I was so worried about you, I thought something bad has happened to you!
RedLipClassic : Why didn't you come?
RedLipClassic : I waited for almost 2 fucking hours!
RedLipClassic : No one has ever made me wait for that long!
RedLipClassic : What the hell, Elizabeth!?!
22: 23
Sunshine : Sorry. I'm really sorry.
RedLipClassic is writing . . .
RedLipClassic : Sorry!?!
RedLipClassic : Is that all that you can say? Do you have any idea what it felt like to be ditched? Have you even considered that I was alone in that park, waiting for you? ALONE?
Sunshine : I was scared.
RedLipClassic : SCARED OF WHAT?
Sunshine : That... You'll hate me.
RedLipClassic : What the fuck. What the actual fuck.
RedLipClassic : You're the one who's giving me a reason to hate you by doing this to me.
RedLipClassic : What the hell are you thinking!?
Sunshine : Tay, I'm really sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
RedLipClassic : Have you even considered that I might get home late just because I was waiting for you and you didn't come? That waiting for you alone is dangerous as the night is getting deeper? That I fucking waited for 2 hours for nothing? That I could've done things that are more productive than waiting for someone who isn't coming anyway?
Sunshine : Taylor, I know that you got home safe.
Sunshine : I was there, you weren't alone. I was there, the whole time. I was there to make sure that you're safe.
RedLipClassic : Fuck you.
RedLipClassic : You were there? YOU WERE FUCKING THERE THE WHOLE TIME AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN SHOW YOURSELF? YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT HOW LONG HAVE I WAITED FOR YOU? THAT I WAS WORRIED THAT SOMETHING MIGHT'VE HAPPENED TO YOU THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T RESPOND NOR COME?
RedLipClassic : Maybe you're snapping a video of me while I was waiting for you in vain, to show it to your best friend, so that you two could laugh at me.
RedLipClassic : You're probably laughing at me while I was waiting for you, looking like a lost puppy, looking like a fool.
RedLipClassic : Do you think that this is another funny joke? Well, guess what. It's not.
Sunshine : No! It's not like that Taylor. It's more complicated than you think it is.
RedLipClassic : Why didn't you show yourself? What's complicated? We're just going to meet!?! You were the one who fixed this meeting then you're the one who didn't come?! What the hell!
Sunshine : I was scared. I'm sorry. I was scared of you. You're going to hate me and I don't want to ruin everything.
RedLipClassic : Newsflash you already did! Why the hell are you scared of me!?
Sunshine : Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Taylor.
23: 11
Sunshine : I wish that Taylor will forgive me :(
Sunshine : Tay?
Sunshine : I know you're still up. I'm really sorry.
Sunshine : You'll know why... Soon...
23: 45
Sunshine : Tay, I'm exhausted.
Sunshine : Physically and mentally and emotionally.
Sunshine : I'm going to bed. :(
Sunshine : Sorry...
Sunshine : Goodnight.
Sunshine : And I didn't take any videos of you nor laugh at you while you were waiting. I just watched you to make sure that you're safe. Goodnight Tay. Sorry.
----
I didn't respond. I don't know what or how to respond. I'm pissed, more than pissed. Why the hell would she be so scared of me? Her excuses are pure bullshit. I don't get her. I don't get her at all.
I laid down in bed and stared at the ceiling. Processing my disappointment while thinking of all of the possible reasons as to why she's 'scared of me.'
Minutes passed and still, nothing came inside my mind.
I close my eyes and tried to drift off to sleep, but I couldn't. I was so disappointed. So upset. So angry.
I couldn't believe that she did that to me. It has been almost an hour since I've been staring at the ceiling. Searching for answers that seems to be a needle in the haystack.
I shifted to my side and grabbed my phone from the nightstand. Trying to brush away the negativity that I am feeling through watching videos and scrolling through my social media account feeds.
As I was continuously scrolling through my Instagram feed to entertain myself and to keep my mind off from what happened a while ago, I saw something that has captured my attention.
Kimby's picture.
Kimby's picture of her and Karlie and seem to be at the balcony of Karlie's apartment, with the background to be the afternoon view of New York City. The two of them were smiling widely, with a goofy expression on their faces. But what confirms that they are indeed at Karlie's apartment is Kimby's caption
KimbyKloss : Back in the US! Hello New York! I'm so excited to meet you! Will be staying at my sister's for a week @karliekloss. Lucky to have a wonderful big sis :*
She's back.
And she didn't even tell me about it.
What the hell is happening? Why didn't Karlie tell me that she's coming home!? I kept on thinking about it for a while until something hit me.
I logged in to wattpad and reviewed all of Sunshine and I's conversation. I also reviewed and read all of the chapters of her book unspoken.
"Sunshine : That wasn't really my intention at first. I always knew that she was writing here because she'd always tell me how proud she is whenever she writes something. All that I wanted to do is to write what I feel, to write our stories with a little fabrication by changing the name and changing the situation 'a bit' and write them all down in my perspective. I always wanted her to read it because I was hoping that maybe, just maybe she'll snap out of her obliviousness to things and finally realize that I am here. I am here getting hurt, loving her so selflessly that I am ready to give her everything just so that she could be happy."
I kept on reading and all of our conversations as well as all of the chapters of unspoken and for you. I put all of the pieces together and arrived at something that's quite unimaginable.
"Sunshine: in the next chapter, it's going to be revealed that Thea's talking to someone online, this person messaged her and they became close after a few months. There's something about this person that made her feel comfortable. She'd always vent on all of the problems that she couldn't tell her friends, especially what she feels for Kylie, but the biggest plot twist of all is that, Kylie is that persona."
I felt a knot forming on my throat as my stomach churn upon thinking that Karlie could've been Sunshine all along. But... It's impossible. No. Karlie could never do this to me but,Elizabeth. Elizabeth is Karlie's second name. And somehow reviewing everything doesn't seem like to be a coincidence anymore.
She kept on telling me that she need to fix something. Something about the girl she likes. Something that she has done. Something horrible that once she'll revealed the truth. This "Thea" of hers will hate her and she's scared of that. And a while ago, she ditched me giving me a reason that she's scared.
Fuck. How could I be so oblivious to all of this?
And how is it possible? How could it even be possible? How could Karlie do this?
I need answers.
I need to know the truth.
I need to see her tomorrow.